Name: Bert Kreischer Leaves His Shirt On Almost the Whole Time, as He Shares Comedy War Stories
Uploaded: 2021-01-11T18:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer Leaves His Shirt On Almost the Whole Time, as He Shares Comedy War Stories' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer Leaves His Shirt On Almost the Whole Time, as He Shares Comedy War Stories' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-11. Transcript available.

Bert Kreischer Leaves His Shirt On Almost the Whole Time, as He Shares Comedy War Stories

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everybody we are here it's bob saget's here for you it's 2021 we're here we've
done it we we are here
are we better some uh we got a long way to go and i hope you guys are okay and
you had a okay new year
and um we're moving um onward right and uh that's what we're gonna do because i'm
i'm thinking that
all glasses are half full because my toilets aren't working hey so this is uh
bob saget's here for you
and this is an episode that i love because i got such a sweet and such a funny
and pure guy who is
loves comedy so much and people love him and rightfully so bert kreischer and
he's going to be here in just a
second uh in the meantime i'll just take a little bit of business to let me
tell you some business
the secret uh success is to subscribe um oh you're also supposed to rate review
uh and uh you know
give me you know good good reviews i can't take bad ones come on it's 2021 let's
go positive um this
guy is a really special guy he's got a special right now on netflix called big
boy that he did right
before the quarantino happened um he's got so many great podcasts he's got the
burt cast he's got the
tom segura cast podcast two bears in one cave and he's got the bill burt cast
with bill burr i don't
know how they came up with the name um he's you know joe rogan's a good friend
of his he's been so
amazing on that show um he's got his tv show the cabin on netflix many uh
television shows that he's
done he's gonna be touring again as soon as we're all able to and he's just
gonna bring a lot of
people a lot of happiness and he doesn't need to wear a shirt because he's that
good a guy and you feel
like your best friend when you talk to him please welcome burt kreischer
so burt um you're you're unbelievable um i'm really happy to see you you've got
that is that
the man the man cave is that the original yeah this is the man cave i think if
i if i back up you can
see that the lighting gets weird when i get closer i got my for my netflix
special i got my my letterman
is right there right by my treadmill my treadmill is next level by the way what
what is it is it the
one that take is it does it uh suck you off does it have a thing no it's a woodway
this treadmill
i bought on my birthday last year right before pandemic and i spent a lot of
money on it and it
has i've run a thousand miles on it this year all at once no
so you're just kind of doing a cross-country thing in three segments yeah yeah
yeah it's like it's like
when you can't afford to fly private but you fly private anyway across country
and you have to stop
seven times so what would be stupid is to connect to other private jets that
would be
just really dumb do we i did we did that for travel channel they're like we're
flying you private
from portland oregon to portland maine and i was like sweet and it was the
smallest plane you had
to sit like this right we had to stop seven fucking times was that a learjet or
was that just that's
i have no idea at that point it's not private did it have a propeller i don't
think so i don't think so
did they catapult it no no but it was not there was thunderstorms we bounced
everywhere i drank a
full bottle of jameson by myself on that flight i can't do jameson and i'm 64
it just burns through me
and then it like drips out sorry you're 64. yeah i don't look it i had the look
at all i was thinking
about you yesterday i'm driving over the hill right i thought you were going to
say you were in the
bathroom i would think you would take it to but uh sorry i'm driving over the
hill i'm coming back
for my cardiologist appointment and i thought i thought be the cup like i don't
want to be the comic
that just dies young right like yeah you can't you but i'm on that path i'm on
that path definitely
like with partying and and going on the road and pushing it hard on the road
but you slowed down on
i mean i i know everything you're doing uh i mean i know uh what you do with
your wife at night i'm
just outside your house i haven't seen any of your work but uh but but you're
still partying to that
level yeah i was we just got off we did a 23-day run right up running right up
to january 30th i want
to say or uh or to november 30th and we had it in san diego and our last three
days in san diego we
got rid of the tour bus and we stayed in a in a place on the beach and i had a
night where i thought
that they were out of my system where you're just the beers are drinking you
and you're going one after
another and smoked a cigar in a hot tub woke up really hung over and i was like
but the cigar in a
hot tub that's that's that's how i chill that's that's what i've done i mean
that always calms me down
i'm a cigar guy i'm definitely a cigar guy lately but right who's the booze is
like for me i was just
killing ipas and then we had a bottle of wine at dinner it was just like and i'm
driving over the
hill going i don't want to be that guy but i but i don't know how to be the guy
like um like uh like
dimitri martin who doesn't do anything or or or they should just sweetheart
they're great guys daniel
toss dain cook dimitri martin they they all never did anything they never
really partied at all
and i was like i don't want to be that guy i can't be that guy i'm never gonna
be that guy
and i literally thought bob saget seems to be healthy like i like i bet he has
a cardiologist
i bet my my my uh gp is a cardiologist and really that helps me i mean i'm
hoping to get the uh vaccine
i'm gonna inject it right into my penis um because i think that would be the
first thing that gets covered
i'm gonna give you covet no i'm married and i don't uh i don't cheat because i
watched that
show on showtime the affair that's how things have gotten so slow i've watched
every single
thing i'm now on the affair which is four or five years old and my wife likes
it because it's kind of
a soap opera and it's got nudity and a lot of sex in it and it just i don't i
don't want to see a
bunch of cocks i just don't and that's just the women so uh no i can't say that
i can't say anything you
have balls that i i still have when i'm in front of people i think i'm i say to
the promoter if i
do a special i say to the producer this is going to be the cleanest set i ever
did and then i get
off stage getting ready to do the second show and the the promoter or the
producer goes that was a
clean set that was clean i can't help it so many times i had a promoter i had a
i did a college
conference to try to get bookings and the guy looks at me and he goes he goes
no dirty stuff
and i was like no i understand that and he goes no but no innuendos either and
i was like in my head
i was like innuendos i was like do i have any in you like you're now you're
like racing to go do i
have innuendos in my act i don't have any innuendo right well i wrote all right
i i wrote that in a book
uh called dirty daddy where no matter what i do even if i talk about death and
stuff i can't help it
innuendo is uh an innuendo i'm gonna put it innuendo you're gonna like when i
put it in in
it's like chico marx innuendo you're gonna like it you know that kind of thing
because he was a
womanizer supposedly so i host the thing i do my act i do 10 minutes right and
then i'm hosting so i
bring up the first act and i'm like in my head i'm overthinking it and i was
like i was like i didn't
have any innuendos in that right i didn't have any innuendos and then i look at
the first act i bring up
he's a sword swallowing juggler he's juggling balls with a sword down his
throat right and i get on
stage and i go he couldn't have done that on his knees and the fucking the guy
in charge goes i said
no fucking innuendo that's past innuendo that's just i mean he's a sword swallowing
ball juggler he's a
sword swallowing ball juggler i mean the only thing he needs is some liquid
shooting him in the face and
he's it's the trifecta and then that's an act i want to see yeah yeah no you
know i haven't really
gotten knock on wood but i haven't gotten in trouble for what i've said and i've
said some pretty horrific
things i've watched your most recent recent special too uh big boy and you do
what i'd like to do which
is and you're doing it in volumes now you're really quite prolific and it's
just jokes and it's setups
and you're coming out of the gate and you know a dick on a shoulder it doesn't
you know that's that's
like it's odd so it's funny i think i get a pass i think i get a pass people
think because i'm married
and i'm doing it all to my family and i'm like i'm like a family like i'm and
yourself right yeah
yeah a little bit but i had a joke in this last special i had a joke about uh
going to starbucks
and get an ordering coffee from this black dude that was right before everyone
got woke about like
uh racial politics and like right before the george floyd and every everyone
got super sensitive
of what they're saying my special came out in march and it did really well and
everyone loved it
and then all of a sudden everything blew up and i was just like all right no
one bring up that joke
like just going like i just got in right at the buzzer it's like ben ben roethlisberger
with all
the me too shit he was like oh i did all my raping back in the 90s i'm good
allegedly allegedly
allegedly allegedly but i i have a fake site of a 16 year old girl and i tweet
calling myself out
because i want to destroy myself but i there's really not i didn't do anything
that i can recall
so you know i had to make a fake twitter site that would be if someone was
really just wanting to
commit social suicide oh i want to i wish i had a burner account so bad i would
love to have a burn