Name: Steve Leder and Bob Have a Discussion About The Beauty of What Remains When Dealing with Death
Uploaded: 2021-01-18T18:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve Leder and Bob Have a Discussion About The Beauty of What Remains When Dealing with Death' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve Leder and Bob Have a Discussion About The Beauty of What Remains When Dealing with Death' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-18. Transcript available.

Steve Leder and Bob Have a Discussion About The Beauty of What Remains When Dealing with Death

You know, you could throw some bedding on a bunch of different mattresses and
sure, they all look
alike to you. The same goes for pillows, but peel away the layers and look what's
inside and you'll
see they aren't all created equal. And that's what makes every purple pillow
and mattress unlike
anything you've ever slept on. The purple grid sets the purple mattress apart
from every other
mattress. It's a patented comfort technology that instantly adapts to your body's
natural shape and
sleep style. With over 1,800 open air channels designed to neutralize body heat,
purple provides
a cooling effect other mattresses cannot replicate. Experience the purple grid
and you will sleep like
never before. Go to purple.com slash bob10. That's purple.com slash bob 10. The
number 10 purple.com
slash bob10 and use promo code bob10. For a limited time, you'll get 10% off
any order of
$200 or more. That's purple.com slash bob10 promo code bob10 or bob10 for 10%
off any order of $200
dollars or more. Terms apply. Hey, everyone, it is Bob Saget's here for you.
And it's the new year. Of
course, it's 2021. The year that we thought everything was going to be perfect.
And it eventually
will be never perfect, but better. I am doing this in a different location. I
am not in my study. I am in
my office. So I'm at my desk. And so that's why this is different if you're
watching it on the YouTube.
And if not, you could care less. I don't, you know, you say on a first date,
don't talk about
religion, don't talk about politics. Well, I have a wonderful guest today who,
you know, he talks about
religion. He is a rabbi, Steve Leder. It's a good name. He is the leader of the
Wilshire Boulevard
Temple, one of the biggest synagogues in the world. He wrote a book that spoke
to me because it's a
talking book on tape. No, it spoke to me because I read it. And it's special.
It's a special book.
And I've got it right here. It's called The Beauty of What Remains. It's for
everybody. It's about
death. It's about embracing death. The byline is how our greatest fear becomes
our greatest gift.
And it's meaningful to me, because I've lost so many people in my life. And I
know many of you have.
And you will because it happens. And you all hope that people are extremely old
when they lose someone
they care about. But this is a universal book. And it's got wonderful people
that give little talks
on the back of it. Aaron Sorkin says, With the beauty of what remains, Rabbi Leder
has given us a
profoundly thoughtful book that captures the same wisdom and wit that his
congregation has experienced
from him for over three decades. Give this book to a friend. And Maria Shriver
said,
The wisdom Steve Leder shares in this moving book is an essential part of
living a beautiful and
meaningful life. Read it and feel inspired. And that's how I felt. He's a
remarkable man. He has a
soothing way of understanding and relating and compassion. And he's also the
author of The
Extraordinary Nature of Ordinary Things, More Money Than God, Living a Rich
Life Without Losing Your
Soul, and the bestseller, More Beautiful Than Before, How Suffering Transforms
Us. But I would venture
to say this book, The Beauty of What Remains, is one that's very compact. You
can keep it in your
backpack or shove it down your pants, as I do with all books, because I read my
books down below.
It's a special book. He's a special man. Before I bring him on, I just want to
mention,
do what you do with this. You subscribe, and then you listen, or you can follow
and listen,
depending on where you get your podcast. Or you can watch it on YouTube.
You know, youtube.com slash Bob Saget. And also, you can rate and review and
all that stuff. Comment,
make it positive, because who wants to read any more pain right now? And the
other thing I could
say is that sometimes I call people and see how they're doing. There's a phone
number up there.
You could leave a message, and we check it out, my producers and I. And I'll be
calling at a time
where it feels the right time. But right now, it is an honor to bring onto the
podcast Steve Leder.
Hey, Bob.
Oh, I love this. I love this. How are you?
I am great. I just, it's interesting. We're going right to this podcast. I just
finished an hour and
a half, what I would call, what I call intake for a funeral I'm doing for a
family. 65-year-old guy
dropped dead of a massive heart attack. Is he okay? Oh, he's dead. No, I know.
I've just,
this is how I start my podcast. I'm a straight man. No, you're not. I have the
book. I got the,
I got the jokes. The old snoring tuchus joke never failed. A snoring tuchus is
a fart,
I believe. Yeah, that's right. So, I'm sorry. That's, that's, will probably be
the last thing
that I say when I pass this earth. Are you all right? How does this affect you?
Because you spend
a lot of time now, especially, right? With people grieving. You know, I'll tell
you,
it is, it is an emotional burden without a question. That being said, once I
get into it and
I start drilling down into the real questions and answers of a person's life, I
will tell you this,
everyone's life is amazing. Everyone's life is fascinating. Everyone has a
story. And, and it's,
it's, if you really ask, if you ask the right questions, it's a beautiful
journey with families
through a person's legacy. It really is. Um, so I, it's, it's, it's, it's
endlessly interesting to me.
Now, devil's advocating. There's a lot of people, as you know, and I'm, um, on
the team you're on,
I believe in a gracious, uh, birth and a gracious passing. And those are the
two most poignant
moments besides other many poignant moments. But, um, what about the people
that are, uh,
suffering that are going out painfully? How do you, how do you, I know, you
know how to address
it. Cause I read this. Yeah. Well, I think the beautiful part of the intake
with a family from
someone who has suffered for a long time or terribly, even for a short time is
it allows everyone to
journey back before the suffering began to, to, to re-embrace that person and
to laugh again and to be on
vacation again, and, you know, to be walking down the aisle again and to be in
the delivery room again,
and to, to, to journey back out of the present is such a beautiful thing for
families, you know,
and, and one of the gifts of memory, of course, there are some painful parts to
memory as well.
You know, you know, in the book, I talk about the duality of memory and, and
that's the truth
about memory. Um, we, we say, you know, oh, may his memory be a blessing and
you'll have them in your
memories. But that I learned this from my father, from his journey through
Alzheimer's and ultimately
death, that, that there's a duality to memory, you know, memory is beautiful
and it really hurts.
It's both, you know, in the book, I, I say, it's like being caressed and spat
on at the same time.
That's true of a lot of what we're going through right now. I would look at the
last year and where
we're at, at this moment.
That's right. That's right. And it's always, you know, my mother used to make a
great sweet and sour
cabbage borscht.
Whose didn't?
Yeah. And I've come to the conclusion that it is the most honest of all dishes
when it comes to
a metaphor for life. It's really both.
I eat all kinds of food from everywhere and comfort food is comfort food.
That's yes.
And that's fond memories for a lot of people.
Yeah.
That's why you look at the American population and so many people are
overweight.
Yes.
It's because they need comfort. So you, you drink, you, are you finding people
are, are drinking more,
eating more?
Uh, I think that people are looking for home-based ways to escape.
And that is clear. And by the way, for, for pleasure within reach, right?
Because some of
the things that we used to do for pleasure, go to a ball game, uh, go on a trip,
uh, go to a
restaurant, have dinner with friends. So much of what we did for pleasure is,
is, is literally
life-threatening now. So I think it's also people really looking for, for that.
And, you
know, look, uh, there's this old Heiner kind of the German poet had this joke
about Jews. He said,
the Jews are like everyone else, just more. So, so I think, right. And, and I
think this pandemic
is making everyone more so, you know? So if, uh, if you escaped with, with, you
know,
you brought up the Germans and I think they're coming in for an attack right
now.
Yeah, of course, right over my house.
I heard that if, you know, if you were a person who sought comfort in carbs
before it's even
more so now, if you were a person who, uh, to deal with anxiety was gobbling edibles
and
drinking scotch or bourbon, you're doing it even more. Now, if you were a
person for whom
shopping was your sort of comfortable bandaid over your lack of control, those
Amazon boxes
are showing up. There's not a moment that goes by where my wife has not bought
something and it can
be a $2 tweezer. It doesn't matter. It's about the process. And, uh, so I think
that, yes, it's,
I think this is making everyone and everything more extreme. I don't think it's
giving anyone a new
personality. I think it's enhancing the personality we already have much like
death, by the way,
much like death. When people confront death, it, it doesn't give you a new
personality. It
intensifies the personality you already have.
If you're a right mind, if, if I'm sure you're with many Alzheimer's people at
your dad.
And what I'm saying is not only about the dying, but the family who's
surrounding, you know, the,
the caretaker is more of a caretaker. The joker jokes more, the feeder feeds
more,
the hugger hugs more, you know, the, the depressed person gets more depressed.
And the stupper, the person, are people having more sex during this time?
Um, I, I only know about two of the people you're referring to.
So I would say, uh, nothing really gives anyone a new personality, Bob.
Well, my daughters have been visiting and that, that kind of is, that'll do it.
That'll stop you. That'll, that'll keep you from, you don't go hide in closets
if your kid's in the
house. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were out of the closet, Bob. I'm way out. I'm,
I'm hetero,
but I could have gone any direction. I didn't know. I, I, and my parents would
have been okay
with whatever I am. Um, something I love about you, something I, I mean, we got
to know each
other a little bit through our friend that passed. Yes. And, um, you never get
over the grieving.
And a lot of people are losing people now, a lot of people. And it's
interesting. I'm finding it's
not, it's not a lot is COVID related. And some is just a dear friend. Her mom
just died of cystic
fibrosis after a three year fight. I mean, it seems to be a timing of a lot of
change and pain
for many, many people. And that's why this book, which I've already talked
about before we started,
um, is so beautiful and so significant for people to read because it, it, it's
not made,
it's made for humanity. It's not made for a Jewish person. It's made, there are
jokes in it that are,
that are, um, fantastic. In fact, just before we get into anything seriously
heavy, although we did,
cause I just have to read this joke because it's such a good joke and, and of
course it plays as a
good soundbite. So, um, you've gone to a lot of, um, back to you, you've gone
into a lot of rooms where
people are leaving and you have tried to bring them solace. And through this
book, you talk about your
philosophy of how you do what you do and humor Norman cousins, humor is it's
gigantic, right?
Well, it is the indicator to me, if I can call myself a death professional and
unfortunately I am.
Yes.
But I know this even from the Holocaust where there were jokes, there are anthologies
of Holocaust
and humor. Now, what does this tell us? First of all, uh, I know, and this just
happened literally
15 minutes ago, Bob, when I was zooming with a family to prepare them for a
funeral that's coming
later this week, their 65 year old father and husband and s