Name: Gilbert Gottfried Talks to Bob About Doing Impressions, Blue Comedy & His Unusual Problem With Birds
Uploaded: 2021-02-08T18:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gilbert Gottfried Talks to Bob About Doing Impressions, Blue Comedy & His Unusual Problem With Birds' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gilbert Gottfried Talks to Bob About Doing Impressions, Blue Comedy & His Unusual Problem With Birds' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-08. Transcript available.

Gilbert Gottfried Talks to Bob About Doing Impressions, Blue Comedy & His Unusual Problem With Birds

okay uh you better uh hold on to yourself and i mean there because this is a r-rated
uh podcast
gilbert gottfried is my guest and my friend and we've been friends a long time
we've been friends
since our early 20s and we laugh at what you're not supposed to laugh at we
laugh at heinous things
of course he would take that and get the word anus out of it so if you're under
15 or 16 i would
suggest your mom or dad intervene i just don't think you need to hear this
because it's not the
proper way to talk um if you have morals and if you are offended easily by a
bad language occasionally
or something incredibly irreverent and wrong it's not meant to be wrong and
hurt anybody it's meant
because there's so much horrible stuff in the world this is how gilbert gottfried
and how i deal with
things in many ways is to think or say not think but say not you don't think
when you do this say
the worst thing you can and that diffuses the terribleness of the moment and we
sure are going
through a lot of terrible stuff right now and so this is how we cope and so i'm
going to be connecting
with him in just a second and so what you're going to want to do is uh i hope
is rate review subscribe
download follow it on youtube it's youtube.com bobsagat that's my name and uh
and and and you
know subscribe or follow depending on how you get your podcast here we go
please welcome and kids get
out of the room uh or take the headset off gilbert gottfried
you seem very animated and excited to see me
how you doing how's it going there in the new york city oh it's uh it's very
exciting
yeah it's uh i don't know i don't know the whole world is falling apart isn't
it oh you heard as well
i didn't know if you knew yeah yeah it was on tv yeah it's yeah it's some kind
of a virus is going
around i heard there was there was an onslaught of prop comics and and mimes um
but i don't know
i do music in my stand-up but i at this point i feel like it soothes people
what what do you do to
soothe uh people i walk out of the room yeah hey other than vegas uh where do
you find ventriloquists
well they they i guess at the comedy and magic club and hermosa beach yeah well
you know there's still
some great people that do it and and you know i'm at the point now and i i've
always been there anyway
anyone that entertains people i i shouldn't be sarcastically making fun of it's
ridiculous they're
making people happy yeah no i'm not putting down venture i think you were and i
think this will be
the set this is the sound bite no no fuck you i was not putting down don't talk
don't talk hebrew to me
when i was growing up there was paul winchell and jerry mahoney right uh there
was uh willie tyler
willie tyler and lester was a is a friend i was gonna say they were my friends
yeah he was on my
podcast he's wonderful he's wonderful and yeah you know um you look how great
jeff dunham
is i mean it's a he's a phenomenon but see that's what i said it's in las vegas
how come you don't
see him on well you know there's no variety shows anymore no david strassman
very funny david had the
the the his his dummy would uh be uh auto animated he had it remote controlled
so it came alive
um you can't follow that edgar bergen oh jay johnson is who i was thinking of
oh yeah jay johnson um who
was charo charming and yes ron lucas edgar bergen yes is um he was known as the
greatest ventriloquist
and he would move his lips like crazy when he talked yeah yeah that's it albert
brooks did that once on the
tonight show where he uh i believe he had a ventriloquist dummy and i think uh
the dummy drank
the water while he smoked i believe and the water's just pouring out of the
dummy it was
so you got groucho over your shoulder is that your favorite comedian of all
time one of them see i like
i like groucho i uh when he started coming back to tv after he hadn't been
around for a while
and he would show up on like dick cabot right and by now he didn't look like groucho
anymore
and uh he had none of the energy in it and it was always like well you know we
used to work in
and these were not actual houses a house was a place where someone lived in my
day they called it a house
and he had the little little beanie on little beret yes yes uh sometimes you'd
have golf balls
oh yeah that would be so he had a gag yeah that was old old groucho i remember
that um you bet your
life was his big comeback that this re-established him yeah but and then he was
still groucho back then yeah
i think you i it when i look at someone like you not to compare you to groucho
but you probably are the
same height um at one point he was your age um so you have a lot in common i i
think i'm the same height
as the three stooges all of them they they look they look uh really small they
were i i met larry when
i was 14 years old um he came to my uh high school and spoke and then i went up
to him and he told me
i could visit him at the motion picture country house and hospital in woodland
hills and i couldn't
believe he could still put that many words together that's a long and i went to
visit him like four
times my mother drove me because i i didn't have my license yet and i would
show him eight millimeter
movies of the three stooges but they had subtitles because i didn't have a
sound projector and they
didn't have even uhf at the hospital so he couldn't watch and it was on every
day back then and and it
was 1971 72 3 i don't know and he couldn't watch himself on tv and he just he
just complained how mo beat
the out of him and and so they had titles so would it go nyuk nyuk nyuk uh
actually i this yes everything
they said was transcribed so i i do think there's a lot of come here you yeah
dot dot dot and i think
nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk was there it didn't say sound effects it i remember finding
that funny i have it
somewhere but if i run an eight millimeter film through a projector i think it'll
just shred don't
that well those are those like some of them you open up the can and they go on
fire yeah do you have
eight millimeter stuff no no i i remember like friends of mine had it and it's
like yeah that stuff
weird stuff would happen with eight millimeters yeah chemicals they would go on
fire or they'd melt
and turn into like some weird acidy goo yes which is how what happens when i ejaculate
by the way this is probably not for kids this particular episode um where are
your kids right now
sometimes i ejaculate on worlds of eight millimeter are you so flames shoot out
of your
flame shoot out of my dick oh my god that's so nice and so you know that was an
old tony bennett song
flame shoot out of my dick yeah yeah yeah you used to sing that after i'll be
around
um did you with flame shoot out of your dick could you do welding spot welding
like if my door was coming apart at the hinge you could just walk up to it and
with your penis and just
weld it not to be confused with the jerry veil it no jerry veil version was
pure sexual yeah his was
his was sparks come out of my yeah uh uh my my i remember he wrote my has a
heart
and it was just it was love it was a love song it was you know yeah and grown
men would cry yeah when
when don't they these days yeah so you look you look really good now people are
most people are
listening to this um and you as you know have a voice that is highly
recognizable yes have you ever
considered doing sleep tapes yes relax relax everything's nice think of birds
flying around your head
you know what else that's not around much like uh ventriloquist right there are
millions of people who do
impressions but out now impressionists other than vegas you don't see on tv
anymore that the uh uh you know
like yeah imagine if your uh waiter was james cagney it might go something like
this and they turn around
and mess up their hair and uh you would think that entertainment genre of
comedy is gone but a lot of
people you'll watch talk shows and you'll watch comedians break from one person
to another you know
it well it's like i i always liked when it's like the impressionists couldn't
do
the impression so they would do a character that that act you know like they go
imagine if your waiter was
al pacino like he wasn't scarface yeah and then they do the lines from scarface
there is yeah say
hello to my little friend and then it's his penis and then there were those
times
with those impressions that just there's an unspoken agreement that that actor
sounds like that but he
really doesn't like everyone like people will do john travolta but they're all
doing john travolta from
welcome back carter right they're not doing uh pulp fiction yeah so it's like
when they do a john
travolta it's like oh oh you know like that guy or greece systematic oh yeah oh
yeah they're really
doing dices john travolta yeah sure yeah but i'll if i see kevin pollack on a
talk show and he does
chris walk and he does them even though they've you know it's everything's
produced but he still does them
reluctantly which is always charming when someone says you know you do a great
when they have you
know 400 people do chris walk and probably a lot more but he's he's an actor so
you know and kevin's
an old friend you're friends with kevin right oh yes yeah because is it because
of the height thing
well that's why i was friends with billy bardi all those years oh i actually
worked with him he ran
between my legs at a corporate show and and then they we had a show all set up
and they fired us
all and and it was a guy named murray becker who booked us remember murray i
that name yeah he was in
new york you would see him at catch so let's back up a minute let's pretend
that was the second segment
of a 19 segment show because i don't think this thing's ending um but i know
that you want to
uh take a nap what do you do around this time of day ah oh god well normally i
might be outside
somewhere does dara just ask you to leave yeah
do you go on the patio yeah well it's not a real patio oh it's a fake patio
yeah fake
patio i have that's nice do you have just uh non sequitur do you have what's
that sound was that you or
is there some kind of movement in the house was that a ding no it was a scratch
it sounded like
corrugated card oh my god that means there's good sounds here i'm scratching
the the arm uh the arm
rest you were scratching your balls admit it i was yes and my balls are very
dry why do you make that
scratch why do you think your balls are dry just be honest sometimes birds land
on them and they pick
they pick the flesh of your balls they picked the flesh of my balls so is this
i think robert ghoulee
birds peck at the flesh of my balls i remember that originally it was in camelot
and they took it out
now when you're on the patio is that when your pants are down and your balls
are out is that when the
birds land yes yes and they all start squawking telling all the other birds
that my balls are out and then the other birds all show up on your yes yes on
your balls different
even species that were extinct from years ago like a pterodactyl like a giant
yes and they have those
really long beaks right but they could kill you but they don't they just peck
at your skin of your balls
yes yes and when they fly away they go oh we could have killed them and all we
got was this this ball skin
that's very dry and then they have to go get water that's why dinosaurs are
extinct because they they
ate human made men's balls they ate they ate my balls i'm not old i feel that
old no you're not old
i think you're a tiny bit older than me um i'm 64 how old are you i'm uh 87 i i
before i do these i tape my skin back
they do have that they have like these these a lot of these celebrities use
tape
i don't think anymore i don't think they yeah they do no i don't maybe they
used to they used to
and we saw it in movies i remember there was a great facelift of uh kath
Kathleen helmand uh in
brazil the terry gillian movie yes that was like the best rubber face facelift
statement of how far
people will go to stretch their skin see i i think in t