Name: Gilbert Gottfried Talks About His Dracula Impression and Shares His Thoughts on Train Conductors
Uploaded: 2021-08-30T17:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gilbert Gottfried Talks About His Dracula Impression and Shares His Thoughts on Train Conductors' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gilbert Gottfried Talks About His Dracula Impression and Shares His Thoughts on Train Conductors' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-30. Transcript available.

Gilbert Gottfried Talks About His Dracula Impression and Shares His Thoughts on Train Conductors

Hey, everybody. It is Bob here. Bob Saget's here for you. And I am. And it's
been a difficult
time. We're all going through a difficult time. And some of us are not. And
that's a
treasured moment if you're enjoying your family and you're healthy. And you're
not being taken
in too much by the news that can be so hurtful for so many people because it's
so upsetting
and all the stuff that's going on in the world. So I wanted to laugh. I just
wanted to have
a laugh. And it's going to be R-rated. So no kids, okay? I'm in enough trouble.
Gilbert
Godfrey is my guest. Gilbert, it's his second time on the show. The only other
person I've
ever had a second time was Joel McHale, dear, wonderful man. And Gilbert has
made me laugh
for many years with his improv and esotericness. And it's not a word. And he
loves to laugh
like we laughed in junior high at just dirty, dumb shit. So if you're under 16,
I'd say don't
listen to this. Do not. Do not. If you're a parent, don't let your kid listen
to this.
This is not Iago the parrot from Aladdin. This is Gilbert Gottfried. He's from
many years
of many different movies and many of the Comedy Central roasts, including mine,
where I'll never
forgive him. Oh, man, what a life. But he is a dear, dear man. And he's in
Florida right
now. And he's down there with his wife and kids. And he has his Gilbert Gottfried's,
what
is it? Colossal Stupendous Podcast. You know what it is. I say it. When I'm
talking to him,
we'll be bringing it up, his podcast, which is really funny. And he's got great
people on
it. He's had so many legends on it. And he also has Gilbert Gottfried.com. And
you can
go see him on the road and do stand up. He's still doing dates. And you want to
see him. He
is just he is he's guaranteed to be funny and irreverent. And I don't know what
to say. He's
my friend since we're in our early 20s. He makes me laugh. This is going to be
filthy. So forgive
me. And it's not my fault. It is because I wanted to talk to him because I
needed to laugh. Here
he is. Gilbert Gottfried.
So, Gilbert. Yes. Thank you for coming back. This is I've only had one other
person do his
second appearance. That was Joel McHale. Oh, I remember him. He's very popular.
He's doing
a movie. You remember a lot of things. Yes. Now, now why? What movie was he in?
He's been
a member of his TV show. Yeah, community. And he was also on the soup. And he's
been doing
a bunch of movies. I don't know the name of the one he's shooting right now.
But he's doing
movie after movie. And he you have a lot in common with him is he does a lot of
upper body
work. Yeah. What's the heaviest thing you've lifted in the past two days? Oh,
well, here
it goes. Penis. Right. That would be the answer. Yeah. See, right. I figured I
wanted to start
a little bit. I think so. I want to say again, that people under 15 should not
listen to this.
Because Gilbert and I are going to have fun. We're going to have fun like we do.
Where and we're not going to say anything reprehensible because we both know
that 2021
and 2020 is a different time and the 14 year olds today are not what they
shouldn't have seen
anything we've ever done. Except the family stuff I did. I mean, they should
see Aladdin because
you're Iago. Is that how you say his name? Iago. Iago. And then, of course, I
did the family
shows I did. And then they don't know that I'm acting. They think that that's
what I'm like
at home. And of course, all the kids have seen me in my guest appearances on
wings. Yeah. All
the kids saw that. Yeah. What is it with you and birds? You always have wings.
Yeah. You
were in my movie, Forest of the Penguins. Yes. A movie made of stock footage
and you had good
dialogue with Sam Jackson. Samuel Jackson narrated it. Yeah. And so he was so
the original one was
was Morgan Freeman. Right. Right. And then we did the parody Forest of the Penguins.
And it was
actually did very well in Australia and New Zealand in theaters. And then the
rest of the place,
it was a huge DVD hit because this is a long time ago. Yeah. And you were
screaming, I'm freezing my
nuts off. That's right. Yeah. And interact. And it was just stock footage of
penguins.
So. So, yeah, you really didn't spend a hell of a lot. Actually, it cost a lot
of money to get that
stock footage. You'd be shocked. Really? Totally. So, Gilbert, catch everybody
up. A lot of people,
a huge amount of people love you. You're one of the funnier people. Kelly and I,
my wife,
we had to watch some movies. We didn't know. We were out of things to binge.
And we watched,
I don't know why, all the Sharknado movies. I think there's six. And you're in
two or three of them.
I think three. I think so, too. Yeah. And then you, what did you say your
biggest line? I mean,
you should say it. It's very popular. Oh, okay. There's one. Oh, there's one. I
think it's supposed
to be, I'm in Africa. And I go, it's a safari NATO. That that's one of them.
Right. And then there's,
ah, okay. The other one I'm in Texas, I think. Yeah. We filmed it. My scene in
central park when I was
supposed to be in Texas, because you know, central park in Texas are identical.
Oh, you know, sometimes when you're in central park, you go, how did I wind up
in Texas?
And, and now, well, there was another line you yelled out. It was a God. What
was the other one?
Odd safari NATO. It was, uh, there was another NATO. That was very funny. Yeah.
Did you, did you see the movie? Did you go to the premier?
Uh, no, no. Did they have one? I doubt it. I think most of the money was right
up on the screen.
I, and it's also with the shark NATO movies. It was like, uh, I, I was starting
this,
give them my measurements. And they said, no, just do whatever clothes you got.
Uh, just where, I mean, they weren't spending, uh, they weren't going to buy
you like a paper cat.
It doesn't matter. You were trying to get a jacket out of it. At least a sport.
Yes. Yes. And, and with the shark NATO movies, it's like, uh, you know, they,
they're pretty much
saying, uh, can you, do you have a movie camera, your own movie camera you
could bring with? Yeah.
Do they pay you? Is it, is it sag scale? You don't have to tell me how much.
Yeah. It, it's, I, it, yeah, it's, it's as low as it could be. Yeah. As low as
they could legally get
away with. And what made you say yes, was it the script? Yeah. Well, yeah, I
read the script and I
fell in love. Was there, was there a script? Yeah. There was some, yeah, there
was a script. And to show
you the care that's put into it in the first one, they filmed me getting killed
by the sharks.
Right. And then I watched it on TV and I wasn't killed. And I asked them about
that. And they said,
well, in the, uh, in the version that you buy, uh, you get killed on the TV
version. You don't.
Oh, it was a lot of care. It's good to have options. Yes. Did they use the same
stuff for
another one of the shark NATO movies? Uh, well, let's see. They, uh, I mean,
did they use the,
in other words, did they use shoot you one day and then put you in two
different movies with the
footage? Uh, no, no. They brought me back for the other times. So the first
time, like I said,
the second time I was on a balcony in Manhattan and in midtown, I was on a
balcony and that was,
that was Africa, I think. Cause they had, you know, really tall buildings in
Africa, in the Congo.
Right. You'd be surprised the amount of construction going on there. And so
that was Africa. And then,
see my character was Ron McDonald. And, uh, then I came back, I think as Rick
McDonald,
which was my character's father. And they fill my scene in black and white.
Oh man. I remember it vaguely. I mean, we watched those movies. I think we were
drinking wine. Cause
that's the way to watch those movies. They're there. If you don't want to be
thinking.
Yeah. It's like, well, uh, the, the sci-fi channel, they were specializing in a
really like, I just
recently, they reran a six headed shark. Yeah. That was one of them. And then,
oh, shock, shock,
the push. Yeah. I saw that. Yeah. We have a friend that was in that Kelly and
she was very
good at it and they paid her for the day and they don't give you much direction.
I'm told.
No, no.
Do you have a cold? I see you wiping your nose. Is it just normal?
I've been doing Coke. Oh yeah.
How much, when do you start doing it?
Yeah.
As early as possible.
Right. Right. Now there, isn't it sad that we're in a world that you said that
as a joke and that people would take that seriously. They would think you meant
that.
Yeah. It's like the reasoning is, well, he's a comedian. He wouldn't be joking.
Right. That's the reasoning.
Well, yeah. Why would a, uh, a comedian doesn't joke around?
They're the newscasters. Yeah.
You're, you're basically a reporter. You're a journalist for the earth.
Yes.
Well, you've ruined my career several times.
I think I, well, see with my career, there's nothing left to ruin. So I have to
now go after
other people's careers.
Do you want to bring them down to your level?
Yes.
I'm already a foot and a half shorter since I've known you.
Now I understand. I see there's a bed there. I know that you're not planning to
do anything. You're in a gym of sorts.
Uh, I am at my in-laws house and they guess, I guess they work out with, well,
I guess they work out
with it. It's not like, uh, as opposed to, Oh no, a lot of people just buy
athletic equipment.
It looks so good. Just, uh, yeah. So I, I wouldn't try either one of those
things.
No, they look like things you just sit on and maybe move your legs.
Yes. One of them's a bicycle exercise bicycle.
Okay. That's in the middle. That's behind your head. I see.
Yes. The thing on the left looks like something that would be in a pool.
Uh, no, no, the, yeah, that, that is one. It looks more like a torture device
to me. It looks like it
should have been if it wasn't already in, uh, 50 shades of gray. It's the thing
you swing backwards
and you hang from your ankles. And this is everybody listening. He's, he's
being very serious and giving
you the news. Yes. This is all factual. Cause we don't know what jokes are
anymore. And, and I,
I should warn you in advance that this is very shocking footage we're about to
show. And, uh,
that's what I love about the news is like, they warn you in advance that this
is shocking and tasteless.
And that's what they there is actually saying, come on, it's shocking and tasteless.
You got us,
you know, you want to see this. Well, recently with all the hellish things that
we're watching,
they're not even saying this is hard to watch. Usually they would say this
contains graphic
content and they haven't been putting that up there and they've been showing
deaths and it's,
I think, unforgivable what they've been doing. I mean, all of the dirty jokes
with the word
in them, I mean, nothing compared to you turn on the news and at four o'clock,
your kid is watching
someone die, uh, without telling anybody. I mean, they should at least tell you
Gilbert.
Yes. Being the newscaster that you are.
Yes. I, I give the truth. It's true. And I've been, and I've been to Texas and
Africa
and central park by flying sharks. I remember on September 11th,
the news had like footage that a guy had shot on his cell phone. Yeah. Of the,
uh, second, uh, the plane
hitting the second tower. Right. And, uh, you know, uh, so you see that, you
know, it's very grainy footage
of a plane crashing in and just one of those things I try to erase from my mind.
Yeah. It, and it's like
a guy in the crowd goes, Oh fuck. And when they got back to the news, the newscaster,
he goes,
I, we really have to apologize. We put that on in a hurry without watching it
first. And we apologize
for the obscenity. Isn't that, that's the insanity. That's the insanity. We don't
apologize for showing
graphic content that should have really been under lock and key or at least
disclaimer for a while
before they show it. Yeah. It's like you just watched 3000 people murdered.
Yeah. But the obscenity
is that guy sayin