Name: Dane Cook | Bob Saget's Here For You
Uploaded: 2022-01-31T15:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dane Cook | Bob Saget's Here For You' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dane Cook | Bob Saget's Here For You' from Bob Saget on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-31. Transcript available.

Dane Cook | Bob Saget's Here For You

All right. Hey, everybody. This is Bill Burr. I've been asked, have the honor
to do the intro for, unfortunately, Bob Saget's last episode of his podcast,
Bob Saget is Here for You, which I think is a perfectly named podcast for him
where that guy really was there for everybody.
And just truly one of the funniest human beings I ever met and also one of the
nicest. He was as funny as he was nice. And he really, you know, he had a lot
of pain in life and he wanted to make sure no one else felt it. And he did the
best that he could. And with that, by helping out everybody. And I absolutely
love the guy. And I'm in shock that he's no longer with us.
But I am just so thankful to have met him, to have known him. And he just was
the greatest guy ever. So please enjoy this last episode. And I don't know what
else to say other than hopefully we all try to be a little more like that guy.
All right. Thank you.
Somebody that I've known for somebody that I've known for quite a long time. I
would say 25 years, might be 30. It's Dane Cook. And Dane Cook was, after Steve
Martin, one of the first people that went on the arena tour.
It would be Dane Cook was, after Steve Martin, one of the first people that
went on the arena tour. And I was like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. I
don't know what century I'm in.
But they are entertaining 10,000 to 20,000 people. It's an event. It's a
special night out. And it's a super spreader. But I've been performing in front
of people everywhere.
And I don't know. I just try to take care of myself and test myself 40, 50
times a day. But Dane Cook started a whole thing and did stand up in a way that
I had not seen before when I first saw him on Letterman.
And it's a really wonderful thing to have him on here because he's been through
a lot. And he understands it. And I'm really fascinated with what's next for
him.
At the end of this month, he's shooting a new special in L.A. And then you'll
be able to see it and see the next incarnation of all the work he's doing that
I know he's incredibly proud of.
So I'm incredibly happy to have Dane Cook as a guest on my show right now. And
you know what to do. Rate, review, subscribe, follow. Go to YouTube.com slash
Bob Saget.
This is having a little conversation with a person I've been friends with
decades. Here's Dane Cook.
Yes, I love the shit behind you. Holy crap.
I know. It looks like I'm sitting in a toy box.
It looks like you run a major, I don't know, Marvel rival company from your
basement with incredible game. You're like a gamer. Are you a gamer?
I am a gamer. Yeah, that's kind of like my thing. That's my golf.
Got it. So when you're golfing, you have a Game Boy in your hand?
No, no, no. I do. But I am a gamer. That's probably been my one thing over the
years that's been pretty consistent.
Ever since I could name every console I've ever had.
Wow. What was your first?
I think the first was Atari. Or no, Pong. Remember Pong?
Yeah, very well. It was sad. It was a very sad thing.
It was very sad. But then what we would do is to make it more challenging, we'd
go to the TV and we'd change the vertical hold and we would change like the, we'd
make the TV look sloppy and weird.
So it was harder to play. That was like the way you would.
Yeah, I would. It started off for me, it would almost be like, I think it was,
I mean, I was so young, there weren't even lewds invented then.
But it was going like this. It was like the matrix. It was the bullets going to
Neo's hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you sped it up and then you would lose and then be angry. There was no
winning at Pong.
Well, I loved, it's where I realized that I did have a real competitive nature
about me.
And I was like, really, I never knew that about you.
And I was like, okay, wait a second. If I could just circumvent that into, into
gaming the way my dad with dad, my dad did it with boxing and football.
And I hated being around people because I had so I had social anxiety. So I
couldn't compete with people because I was, I was crippling.
No, I didn't. Now, here's something I've known you for Jesus. Is it 25 years?
Is it more?
Yeah.
Right. So I didn't know you had, I got to light up. I got to put up my ring
light because you look so good.
Yeah, now I'll be, I'll be brighter and look younger and jump higher. So you
had social anxiety. So a lot of standups do have that.
Yeah. Yeah. I was, uh, and actors. I was, I was like, um, mortified most
mornings I'd wake up, I'd wake up thinking of having to go to school and being
around other kids.
And then I would just be creating scenarios of what if I get embarrassed? What
if they pick on me? What if they want me to play? And I'm bad on the team.
I just was beating up on myself pretty constantly. So yeah, no, not enjoying
the school stuff, but I would disappear into the gaming and that kind of
competitive isolation.
But Dane, like in junior high, if you had like a really good set, like at lunch,
I mean, I would assume you were outgoing and funny or were you totally
withdrawn?
The opposite, not only withdrawn, but I had, I had, of course, it's like, it's
junior high. I got the worst acne. I got like the worst level, like cystic. I
look like, uh, uh, like, uh, the mask. It was pretty, pretty brutal. So no, I
didn't.
How do you, how do you get that? Is that from having like balls rubbed on your
face?
Balls. Yes. Your own, actually very limber.
So you, and I believe you could do that. You've always been, that's one of the
first things I noticed about you besides you, you're pretty limber. Damn it.
It's pretty close. I almost wanted to remove a rib just to get all the way the
fuck down there. One time I wouldn't do it if I could. I wouldn't even in
experimental times when I was unsure of what the hell I was going to do with my
penis.
Right. I still, I didn't want to do that, but you, uh, you know, I'm not, and
this is not a judgment. A lot of people would enjoy at least a couple times a
day doing it.
I, I, I, I feel like I'm one of those people that if I finally accomplished it
and I got even a little bit of my own penis in my mouth, I bet it would just be
like the ultimate letdown. I don't think there were, I think you'd come away
from that going, I was really hoping that there would be something. I think it's
like tickling yourself. There's just no movement on the needle.
Well, you don't, you don't, I, I'm not ticklish if I tickle myself. If I tickle
my penis, that's the soundbite. That's what we're going to use for the promo.
Please use all this.
Oh yeah. Every part. This is like a cattle drive. Every part gets used. Um, I'm
really happy to see you.
You too, man.
I mean, we, we've drifted in each in and out of each other's lives over the
years. Uh, we've had a couple of poignant moments together.
Yeah. Yeah. You, you know, I, I feel like for me, when I first met you, I
remember that first conversation and I probably, you know, rambled on a little.
Cause I, I, I do remember in that first time meeting you and talking about
being at Nixon Boston.
And just being really proud of what you'd accomplished in your career. And I,
in one way or another told you that because you'd had these two hugely
successful shows.
And of course I grew up watching the young comedian specials. And to me, I just
felt like in that period of my life, you were like that beacon of like, wow,
you can really kind of have it all.
You can be a network tells you, you can be comic, you can be edgy. You can be
fucking, uh, you could be, you know, family and you, you were hitting all of
those.
And then I didn't see you for a number of years. And when you reached out again,
I was really honored. Cause you asked me to be a part of your, your charity
events.
And that meant so much to me. Yeah, man. So we, thanks for, thanks for doing
that, by the way.
Oh man. You know, it always, we're getting closer to helping people to curing
it is what we're looking for.
Yeah. Well, with me, with you, it's for comedians always do this when they get
on a podcast. Cause I know that you, you actually just recently spoke to an old
friend of mine, Dennis Miller.
How did that go? How was, how was, what was that fun?
It's good. It's always great to talk to a comic that tapped out and no longer
is considers themselves part of the, the organization, but you know, it's still
like, but no, you're still that, you know, does, doesn't matter how far you get
on that cruise ship in, in bail.
It's like, no, you're, you've had the mic in your hand. You're always be that
creature in some regard.
And I don't see Dennis Miller ever doing cruise ships either.
No, just escaping.
He would be the guy, he wouldn't grab the kid in Titanic and go down on the
boat, you know, the little rat, little dinghy, but he would definitely get the
fuck off of there.
There's two people in my life that I've met that you could really tell, have no
interest in going back towards standup.
And I got that from Dennis and Steve Martin.
Steve Martin was somebody who, once I met him, he was like, there was no, and I
said, come on, don't you think you'd, and he was like, no.
Yeah.
And that's a public, that was a public choice he made.
And he wrote that in his book, born standing up the, it's the second show
Fridays.
And there is such a thing in this world, whether you're doing clubs, theaters,
not arenas.
Somebody is at which you have, you, Jesus, you were, Steve was the, I think
that one of the first arena comedians on earth.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was really the first one to make comedy an event, right.
Where it was something bigger than just the laughs.
And was that, was there, there must've been someone in Edinburgh or someone in
London that did it, that could fill 10,000, 20,000 seats.
There had to have been.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure.
But I was introduced to those massive venues through my sister, Kelly came back
and saw Steve Martin play Boston Garden.
And she just couldn't, like, I remember the look on her face as she was
explaining all those people laughing and what he was doing up there.
And it, it, it really hit me early on.
I was like, oh, wow.
I wonder if you can take comedy to that level of, you know, like athleticism.
I wonder if it can work in that, in that realm.
It was working for him.
I saw as I got older, it was working for dice, but I also was like, but wait,
can it be about, can it be about the material?
Or does it have to only be about the shimmery fucking jacket or the arrow and
the dancing?
I really was like, I wonder if there's a way where you could hybrid and still
be a showman, but have some great material that connects.
That was my goal.
Well, you accomplished it and it's, and we're going to talk about that because
I want to talk about it.
And he did something which was amazing, which was, he took an entire lifetime
of career, Steve Martin, who all of us revere anyone with a brain and anyone
that loves comedy loves Steve Martin.
Because he's, you know, if there's a Mount Rushmore, he's, he's up there with
however it revolves.
Oh, these are the five.
Oh no, those aren't popular right now.
Those two, there's a separate Mount Rushmore right now.
Somebody gets canceled.
They just have to put a big tarp over one of the faces that's chiseled into the.
They should just CGI them at this point.
That's true.
You could just redo it.
But he went and took this amazing act that he honed in Disneyland doing
balloons.
He was even in the, I'm a Disney phobe.
Are you a Disneyland person?
Yeah.
Not really.
There was horseshoe, the horseshoe, what was it called?
Cabaret, the horseshoe, golden horseshoe, whatever it was.
It was an old vaudeville show based on an old Western town.
Right.
And it had can-can dancers, which got me in there at 13.
And, and there was a funny guy that would get hit in the mouth and spit all his
teeth out.
And play the banjo and they copied Steve.
Steve was the, he was following a script, I'm sure, or the laws of Disneyland.
Right.
But he, all of that, all of that, not unlike any o