Name: Bill Burr visits the Cave | MLB
Uploaded: 2016-05-17T15:11:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr visits the Cave | MLB' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr visits the Cave | MLB' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-17. Transcript available.

Here in the Emily Fan Cave hanging out with actor-comedian Bill Burr.
I was in the airport the other day, right?
I'm sitting there waiting for my flight, just hating my life.
Watching this lady, she's eating egg McMuffins, like plural.
It just threw like three of them.
Right down her throat like a pelican, just like right down her gullet.
And when she was done, she wiped her face with the bag.
I like that you said actor-comedian.
I usually go comedian-actor.
Look, dude, if you saw my IMDb page, you'd definitely know it was comedian-actor.
Yeah, it's a quick read.
Now, you also got a podcast you're doing, yeah?
Yes, I do.
I do the Monday Morning Podcast every Monday.
I know a lot of you guys hate your jobs.
You can listen to it in your cubicles while you pretend to look at spreadsheets.
All right?
Just have a look on your face like you're concentrating.
Make no mistake, at home, you are hearing the ting of a Boston accent.
That's right.
You're a big Red Sox fan.
And it is Boston, not Boston.
No, it's not Boston.
Everybody always says, where are you from?
I say Boston.
They go, oh, Boston?
No, Boston.
Boston is Midwest.
Right.
Bob, Pan, you know, Pac.
No, Pac, that's us.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I've been doing media all day.
I'm glad I got you at your most kind of tired.
Yeah.
That's good.
You could really just, if you wanted to, just verbally assault me right now.
I'd probably agree with most of everything you said.
The Yankees are the best team ever.
Most successful franchise ever.
See this?
Absolutely.
This is the best type of builder.
No, no, no.
I mean, I would never argue that.
I mean, granted, you guys won most of your titles when the Three Stooges were
still making movies.
No, no.
Three in a row in the 90s.
2000.
In the 70s, you won two when you bought the Oakland A's.
That was great.
We didn't buy the Oakland A's.
That was great.
That's what New York teams do.
The Rangers can't win.
Oh, let's buy the Edmonton Oilers.
We'll take the core of them.
That's the Teakinen, Mark Messier.
You had one other couple.
McTavish, I think, was on that team.
We only hit a couple guys.
Yeah, that's what you guys do.
We went in their time.
That's what you guys do.
So, across the board, you're a big...
I'm a big Boston fan.
But, I mean, like, you guys don't have anything to cry about anymore.
Yeah, I'm actually considering retiring as a fan because, like, we've won all
four major
championships in the last seven years.
Yeah.
It's like you're at the blackjack table.
You're up three grand.
Go back to the room.
Call it a night.
Call it a night.
I agree.
You're going to keep playing.
You're just going to...
Eventually, the misery's coming back around again.
Tom Brady going to be young forever.
He's not...
So, it's not going to get any better.
So, you figure, I'm out.
Yeah, I'm out.
Take your winnings and go.
I'm done.
And now, I'm going to do, like, guest star fandom like Jay-Z does with his
rapping now.
I'm going to be a Pirates fan for a little bit.
Maybe I'll root for Cleveland.
I'll root for anybody but the Yankees.
Although, I like your outfield because they're all from your system.
See, I never get mad at the Yankees.
If they come from your system, it doesn't bug me.
Like, I don't hate Derek Jeter or anything.
But, dude, when you had A-Rod, who was one of the...
Well, you still got him, but one of the best shortstops in the league.
Like, you had two of the best shortstops in the league playing in your own infield.
He's like, I'll play third.
And then, he jumps in the championship limo.
I could have been on the 99 team and got a ring.
I could have.
We would have...
That at ninth.
I would have put you...
It's ridiculous.
That paper champion.
I don't buy it.
I'm not one of those fans.
So, the Sox...
I hate everybody on the Yankees.
I don't.
So, the Sox have committed no sins?
I like how you guys sit there and clap hands and call out their names.
We're going to say your name until you look at it.
Those are the bleacher creatures.
Losers.
Losers.
If you weren't such losers, you'd have better seats.
What about that high school field you guys play at with your pesky poles?
Somebody tend the pin out there.
Hey, you're making fun of us because we're broke?
How are you broke?
Is that what rich people do?
Oh, get out of here with you.
You disgust me.
Typical New Yorker.
They don't work for anything.
What are you talking about?
I worked very hard to get this job.
You did.
Your hand on your hip tells me you never worked a day in your life.
What are you talking about?
Every carpeted area of the office.
Let me tell you how hard I've worked, buddy.
I'm just trying to get somebody to be like literally spitting at their computer
screen right now.
I'm sure it happens.
I bet there's a lot of comments under this video in capital letters.
You know what?
I can't hear you and I'm not reading them.
Bill Burr, everyone.
He is a fan for hire.
Recently retired from the Boston Red Sox.
I'm calling for the Pirates and the Indians.
I'm calling for the Pirates and the Indians.