Name: Bill Burr - Punchline Magazine Interview - 2008
Uploaded: 2016-06-09T17:36:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Punchline Magazine Interview - 2008' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Punchline Magazine Interview - 2008' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-09. Transcript available.

Bill Burr - Punchline Magazine Interview - 2008

Hey guys, what's up?
I am Dylan Guadino from punchlinemagazine.com.
You are watching a Type 5.
Yes, you are.
This is also...
You were supposed to say with Punchline and then I was going to say also with Rooftop
Comedy.
There you go.
That was how I was supposed to go.
You guys should also know that this is a co-production with RooftopComedy.com
and that's how seamlessly
we're going to do that for now on.
If I knew this was going to look so professionally, I wouldn't have worn my
dirty sneakers.
They're not...
You're like Richard Nixon, remember when he debated JFK?
I remember...
JFK sat there like this, you know, he's all tanned up and Richard Nixon stood
there like
that with his sanatorial ball bag hanging out.
I remember people talking about it.
I think that was probably before and I'm old.
No, I'm saying you're...
I'm assuming you're probably older than I am.
Yes.
Yes I am.
What are you, a strapping 28?
No.
32.
31.
I don't even know how fucking old I am.
I'm 31.
I'm going to be 41 in June.
Congratulations, man.
Yeah.
You know 41's the new 31.
No, it isn't.
Yeah.
I'm sick of people saying, you know, I was in a bar and this girl tried to tell
me, she
goes, you know, I got this new personal trainer and she got her in great shape
and he tried
to say that even though she was 45, her body was 30.
She goes, I'm 45, my body's 30.
It's like, no it isn't.
So she stated it like fact.
It's not like I'm 45 but I feel like my body's 30.
She was talking about maybe like her muscle tone.
I don't know why.
I was just like, your whole body is 45 years old.
Your pussy's 45.
See, that's what I do.
I just immediately make it 30.
Yeah.
Well, that's okay.
You can say whatever you want here.
This is a safe, this is a safe environment.
This is an empty comedy club.
This is spooky during the day.
Does this remind you of, you know, Bill Burr.
My set last year?
No, Bill Burr, the early years.
Yeah.
You know what?
When I used to work at Caroline's Comedy Club.
Yeah.
I love that I said that at this club.
Yeah.
No, that's.
Yeah.
This is how it used to be.
They would pull a curtain across and there would be like 12 people.
Oh.
All right.
Who stumbled in because it was raining out.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is how it used to be.
Except they would pull a curtain across and there would be like 12 people.
All right.
Who stumbled in because it was raining out.
Right.
And then I would, you know, I began to work on how I, how I get laughs, which
is a lot
of cursing and silly faces.
Right.
And is that, is that basically what your, is that your technique these days as
well?
Yeah.
I still don't really know how to tell a joke.
So I lean heavily on the profanity, energy, and silly faces.
Uh-huh.
And then, and stats.
I like throwing out facts to back up what I'm talking about.
But you say, you say yourself that you're, you're not a big reader.
So where, where are you getting these facts?
Uh, YouTube and Wikipedia.
All right.
Those are good.
Those are two very good places.
I overhear stuff in bars.
Mm.
So that's where you get your facts.
Yes.
Dude, I'm a comedian.
I don't have to, I don't have to be smart.
No.
That's how I look at it.
I totally.
But I do feel like you have a responsibility that if you are a moron, that you
should, you
know, just in case there's, uh, people who are really morons in the crowd, you
gotta let
them know that, yeah, that I, I, you know.
So you gotta be honest about you being a moron.
You gotta fess out.
Yeah, you gotta tell them, yeah.
Just 'cause people forget.
They start taking, sometimes they take what you say seriously, like you're not
just telling
jokes.
Right.
about shelter dogs and people are like, freaking out.
Like, you know, you do stand up.
There's always something that kind of says comedy behind you when people end up
freaking
out.
Right.
Like, I think what you said that was irresponsible and just telling a joke.
A joke.
Well, I think people, uh, once they see a person on stage with a microphone,
they get very,
uh, they get concerned that maybe you're not a comedian.
No.
And maybe you're, maybe you're trying to convert people.
No, you know what it is?
It's those classic people who will sit there and for an hour you can make fun
of fat people,
cripples, anything you wanna make fun of.
And then when you come around to the thing that they just decide that this is
not a joking
matter no matter what.
Then all of a sudden you're not a comedian anymore.
Then all of a sudden you gotta be like.
Right.
It's like you're on Meet the Press.
And, uh, can you tell I just got a fucked up email that I'm actually talking
about this?
Is that what happened?
I should be sitting here going, everything's going great.
I got this new special out over the past year.
Yeah.
Been selling tickets, everything's awesome.
That's what I should be doing.
Try not, can you, you curse as much as you want here, but don't, please don't
say cripple.
Why?
Because it's just.
You just don't find that funny?
Politically.
Politically I think they're called differently abled or something.
Okay.
So crippled's funny.
Can you try not to say cripple?
Crippled sounds like that old school, you know?
Yeah.
Wagon wheel.
Yeah.
Broke you on the wheel.
You're right.
We need to bring those type of words back.
We need to bring that back, that kind of torture.
You know, that would have cost a lot.
What do you think would be cheaper?
Breaking someone on the wheel or the waterboarding?
Breaking someone on the wheel.
Exactly.
Because I think, yeah, you need trained people for the waterboarding.
You need two people for waterboarding.
Yeah.
And you only need one for crippling them on the wheel.
Yeah.
So, you recently, well, not so recently, but you lived in New York for a lot of
years.
Yes, I did.
And then you left.
You left us.
Why?
I found this great patch of land out in Iowa and figured I'd start cooking some
crystal
meth.
I don't know.
You know what it was?
I did.
I'd kind of gotten in with every club here in New York.
Yeah.
And I just, you know, I was doing the Opie and Anthony show.
And I just could kind of, I just felt like I'd gotten as far as I could go in
this city.
And whenever I would go out to LA and I would meet a casting director, they
would just be
like, so you're a comedian.
How's that going?
And I was just like, wow.
Okay.
This is a whole nother mountain I got to try to climb.
So I think, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know why I was just here.
And I was just, I felt like Matthew McConaughey's character in Dazed and Confused.
Like I just kept going to the same comedy clubs.
Like, hey, where are the parties?
You know, I just felt, I just felt like it had just kind of ground to a halt.
And even though I was writing a whole new hour of stuff, like I didn't, I don't
know.
I still don't know what the next step is, but it just, when I'm out there, it
feels right
to be out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's one of the most shit on cities I've ever lived in.
Yeah.
Why do you think that is?
Part of it's because it's earned.
Yeah.
And then the other half is just people from the East Coast are fucking idiots.
Wow.
Yeah.
I'm, I'm including myself in that.
We go out there and we want to do East Coast stuff.
And then when we can't, well this fucking place sucks.
You can't get a good slice.
You can't fucking do this.
You can't do that.
And it's like, you're 3,000 miles away from that shit.
But if you go out there, you know, they, there's plenty of stuff to do.
Yeah.
So, I mean.
I'm glad you didn't say what, because I probably would have had like two decent
things to do.
What?
Uh, that's hiking.
It's all this stuff that people on the East Coast consider gay.
The stuff that makes you sort of relax and maybe live in extra few years.
Yeah, hiking.
Hiking makes you relax?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's nice.
You know, you get out of the traffic.
Yeah.
Go out to Joshua Tree.
You know, I did that recently.
One of my relatives came out to visit me and they always wanted to go to Joshua
Tree.
So, I went out there to National Park.
Right.
Look at you.
Your whole brow is just furrowing up.
I don't have no doubt.
Yeah.
This is, it's a brow of doubt and skepticism.
So.
Yeah, why would you want to go out there?
It's sunny all the time and the women are gorgeous.
I hate that.
Go ahead.
Say it's because everyone's so plastic and phony.
No, no, no.
It's not.
Everybody out here is so real.
I've been there.
Nobody lies to you in New York.
They just, they just tell it to you how it is.
Listen, I've been there once in my life for a few days.
Didn't like it.
Yeah, you shouldn't.
Look at, it sucks.
I'm not going to lie to you.
There's a lot of aspects about it that suck, but.
Let's get back to what, what the fuck were you just talking about?
We were talking about why in God's name you moved to Los Angeles.
No, you didn't phrase it that way.
Well, that.
You said why in God's name.
I'm phrasing it like that now because I'm trying to, I'm trying to get a rise
out of
you.
I told you why.
Because I felt like I was this old guy hanging out at the high school party.
Right.
So what's, has anything changed for you?
I mean.
Yes, I've had a failed pilot.
Okay.
So that's good.
I mean.
Well, I never had a failed pilot.
I was just going to ask you.
While you were in New York, did you have a failed pilot?
No.
No, I didn't.
So that's something.
No, I didn't.
Did you have a failed pilot still?
Yeah.
And I got to write some stuff.
And they said action.
And people said stuff that I wrote.
It was a big thrill.
And we got literally to the championship.
It was like March Madness.
Yeah.
The brackets.
We got past, maybe final four, I would say.
It was like, I was up against like five other shows.
Right.
Of which they picked two.
And mine wasn't one of them.
And I'm not going to lie to you.
That was the biggest kick in the chest I've taken in a while.
Which show do you, like which show did they pick?
And who was it for?
Tell me.
It was on Comedy Central and they picked, I lost out to two really funny guys.
I think I've already blocked it out.
Look at you.
You're all politically correct.
Because of the trauma.
Yeah, I am.
I am.
Who are the two?
One's Daniel Tosh, who's fucking hilarious.
Love him.
See?
There you go.
So I'm not being politically correct.
Love him.
If I thought that they sucked, I would have found a way to not even go down
that road.
I would have felt you going down that road.
Right.
So I wouldn't have had to have been politically correct.
Right.
So Tosh and who?
I forget.
You forget, huh?
How convenient.
Michael, help me out.
Who was the other one?
You don't know?
I forget.
No.
But it was two funny guys.
I lost out to two funny guys.
Michael Ian Black and Showalter?
They have a show.
No.
No.
I forget who it was.
All I know is I didn't get picked.
You know what I mean?
You didn't get picked.
You think those guys who lose in the Final Four sit around and watch the final
game?
They don't.
They go home and they cry into a gym towel like I did.
Yeah.
Then you go to the Laker game that night and then you sit there and they pan
down to Adam Sandler sitting courtside and it just makes you want to kill
yourself like thinking like I could have courtside seats to a Clippers game.
Yeah.
That is something.
Well, alright.
So that's good.
So the question remains, when are you going to just leave L.A. and come back to
New York?
Why?
Do you miss me?
You guys miss me?
We miss you.
See, you know something?
If you just said that in the beginning, I wouldn't have got all defensive.
That would be no fun, though.
Yeah.
We need you defensive and angry.
See, that's what that Philly video did to me.
Now everyone, they just want to sit there and party.
You know, I was making a conscious effort not to even bring up the Philly video
because I can't
imagine you're not sick and tired of talking about it.
Nah, I don't give a shit.
It was a great thing.
Got an extra 12 friends on Myspace.
Yeah.
Sold a couple more CDs.
If you, if you don't...
Well, it probably doesn't help that you brought me to the place where s