Name: Bill Burr on OpieRadio
Uploaded: 2016-08-04T08:54:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on OpieRadio' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-08-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on OpieRadio' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-08-04. Transcript available.

I've heard some interviews that you did and in the in the writers room it was
pretty much everyone's experience growing up that you're throwing yeah I
wanted my family and everybody to be able to watch this and not be like
mortified I wanted them to see like elements like I remember that like that
that I'll put you through that fucking wall like my dad used to say that yeah
and he did one time say we were outside and he was mad and I'll put you through
that fucking wall let me really like you point at the woods so we're sitting
like snickering like one of you like yeah dad there there is no wall but like
I don't want to say that no no not at all you need some more lines dad because
we're not inside right now yeah you need a new catchphrase it only works inside
yeah
I know it I know it sounds silly because it's a cartoon but they really did
capture the look of the 70s even like the even like the woods where you go out
there and there's like there's like old like washing machines and shit you
would
just find out there in the woods yeah and there was always the new housing
developments right right that they were building and like you know play around
there was no internet yeah there's no internet so you go you'd steal lumber to
build the tree fort yes or you just throw rocks through the windows that's
right the
tree fort that that's in the scene you were one of the throw rocks through the
windows because I've told that story too I I grew up with a kid I used to say
his
name maybe I shouldn't anymore and we would run through the developments I
thought oh wow we get to go upstairs when the house isn't even built yet and go
in the
basements and stuff and we're just having like you know easy fun and then this
kid
that we would run with for a little while I finally had to tap out he was the
one
taking the rocks going fuck that it was just taking out windows in these of
these
houses in these new developments and I remember as a kid being scared shit let's
do you remember this isn't fun anymore we used to go in there like dude we were
like I swear to god I was like
six seven and hanging out with kids who were like five yeah it would just be a
cluster of kids and you go into a house and they had just started to build the
stairs all they had was the framing of it so they didn't have the piece of wood
that
went across so we would be like going up on the skinny piece of wood and it was
like you know the the one that led from the main floor to the second floor was
right above the basement so if you fell you're gonna you fell straight down all
the way down to the dirt completely remember all that and your parents used
to just let you go outside like go outside and then you'd run into your
friends and then you'd run your group of kids would run into another group of
kids
yeah and with your kid brains you would decide what you were gonna do that day
yeah and there could be anything from let's play baseball to let's throw rocks
in somebody's yeah but my my thing was the excitement was trying to get
upstairs
when there's no staircases and go wow this is cool and then you know we would
just pick up these boulders and throw through bay windows it's already we didn't
do that every time but a couple times we we yeah we did do stuff like that we
played in abandoned buildings not so many new developments see I would love to
do that I love going my boys one of my boys in junior high school right next to
our
school and we every time at lunchtime we used to go in there and play yeah but
boy Sam fell through the floor it was like third floor second floor fell
through that
and landed in dog shit come on and it was the greatest moment of my life it has
to
be a pile of dog I remember saying to my my my childhood friend I would just
say to
him I say you want to go play with matches you would literally just go yes you
like
get some pine needles together and you just light them on fire like right
underneath the tree I set the woods on fire one time and thank god this guy was
there he was over there in two seconds because I was near his fucking house and
he had a giant like trash can that he had filled up with water he just kept
dumping it on there another one of my friends another one of my friends he he
lit the woods on fire to the point the the the firehouse had to come down and
put it
out and he was so nervous he went down to the firehouse and ratted out my
brother
really don't like I think I think I know I know who did I you know that they
knew
they were lying but we knew it was him because his dad used to have we call
monkey matches right he had these books of matches remember back then like
monkeys doing human things considered hilarious and it would be like you know a
picture of a monkey like with the cigar playing poker right so his dad used to
I
guess found those funny so we saw those like the evidence there so we knew it
was
him and you know it's just my there was no internet there was no video games
shit on
fire our I have a similar story our story ended a little differently it was me
and
my two brothers were all almost the same fucking age and we did the same thing
you
start with little pine needles little dry leaves and then you get bored like I
think we can handle a bigger fighter fire and then we got the army men and
they're melting yeah and then I remember like I just say just a little wind
over to
this next pile of leaves fast-forward the whole fucking woods around fire the
fire
department shows up and and you know has to put out the fucking fire behind our
house it was getting close to our neighbor's house what it was really bad
and as kids were thinking we can handle this and we're like trying to stomp out
the fire with our little fucking sneakers and then they they lined us up in the
backyard and I just I remember from school that oily rags could start fires
yeah so
they're they're fucking questioning us now like who the do you guys know
anything
about it and stupid me I'm thinking I'm gonna get I'm gonna you know get us out
of this I'm like I remember seeing some oily rags in the woods
and then we grew up with a it was a nice it was a big house with woods behind
us it
was our playground and our punishment was we fucking were grounded for the
whole
summer and couldn't leave the fucking driveway and as a 12 year old we're
probably even younger than 12 that was fucking torture and then our friends
would come over and our cousins and stuff and they'd be able to run in the
woods because we had tree forts and all that shit up there right and we had a
fucking hang out on the driveway and watch everyone your parents stuck with the
punishment yes back in the day now you feel guilty after five minutes like all
right we used to have a rule we had a rule in our house when we were little if
you if you didn't finish your dinner your supper as we called it you didn't
finish your supper they my parents would take like cellophane wrap up your meal
stick it in the fridge you had to eat it for breakfast yeah right yeah so it
was
yeah so you learned to not waste right sure are we long lost brothers yes these
are all the same exact fucking story that's the worst thing was when I remember
if you
had like cube steaks which were hard to chew as a six-year-old when they were
hot
there's such a piece of shit part of the whatever the cow is a bag eating that
for
fucking breakfast while everyone else is having waffles and you got that in
green
half-eaten green bean casserole god but that was that was normal too you know
that
would be considered abuse my mother one time was driving down the street my two
youngest brothers were just were acting up and she goes I swear to god if you
don't
to not if you two don't knock it off I'm pulling over to the side road and I'm
spanking your bare butts right on the side of the road and they just kept going
they kept
going to my mother pulled over spanked their bare ass inside road all these
members people
driving by blowing the horns laughing their ass off nowadays they would call a
cop they
are arrested yeah film it and they take your kids away yeah exactly