Name: Bill Burr on The Jimmy Dore Show
Uploaded: 2016-09-03T21:50:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on The Jimmy Dore Show' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on The Jimmy Dore Show' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-03. Transcript available.

Hey, welcome to the Jimmy Dore Show. I'm here with Ben Mankiewicz from Turner
Classic Movies and from comedy, it's Bill Burr. Hey, Bill, how are you?
How are you? How's it going? Who am I looking at? This is weird. I can see
myself there.
See that? You're looking at the right. You're looking. Just look at me. Talk to
me.
I just got back from a remake of the new $6 million Man episode. Look at this.
Is that what you look?
Oh, a break dancer or something. It's terrible. Be honest with you, whatever I'm
looking at, I forgot.
I didn't forget it. I thought it was at 1.30. It's actually at 11.30.
So that's why you didn't have time to look pretty? Yeah, that's why.
Because I had on. I don't want people to think about disrespecting your show.
Look at you guys. You're all dressed up.
I got your jacket on. This is all official.
So I should be the guy in the field that they interviewed.
Well, we do have an eyewitness. It was a four-door sedan.
So I'm dressed right.
No, I just wear the jacket to cover my hump. That's the only reason.
Yeah, when I had to cover the ball spot. We're all doing our things.
You're not doing the Propecia? No.
Why would you do that?
You think you're not going to get there?
Okay, the hair's not going to fall out. Then what? It attacks my liver?
What am I going to want when I'm 80? To be able to do this or to have this
thing working?
That's exactly. I started taking it. It works, obviously.
But I had every...
Jimmy has the same question, just has a different answer.
You gave up the liver.
I gave up the liver.
I gave up the liver.
I gave up the liver.
I'm like, they'll be able to figure it out in 20 years, right?
I'll be able to put me up to a machine or somewhere.
Mickey Mantle. I don't know. I'll figure it out.
You've got to be able to show it.
You've got to be able to find me.
You've got to shake a lot of hands to get up that liver list.
Yeah, yeah. You're going to have to tone down your act, man.
If you're going to need some friends, a couple of senators, state group up.
I'm going to stop making fun of Dr. Oz, and he's going to get me in.
But I'm just waiting for the pill.
What do you mean? What pill?
I got the pill.
Not out of one pill, you just throw it in.
But the side, you've got to pay somehow.
I feel like you're going to feel like your head's on fire for 90 seconds.
So they just strap you down.
And they just go, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
And then you come out, and then you have to go into therapy.
To deal with that level of pain, you shake for like three days,
but you just have a quaff that would make...
I'd rather get it over with, right?
I'd rather have to be horrible instead of not be...
Like I know everything happened to me, right?
So I started losing my train of thought.
That happened. My balls start hurting.
So Propisha.
From Propisha, in fact, I Googled my balls hurt.
Which is how I found out.
They say really quick at the end of the commercial, right?
Well, you're going to be a ball hurt.
Hey, you might say we're talking about you're going to be a ball hurt.
You make spirits sudden ball hate.
I did. I thought I had went to my doctor.
I don't have cancer. I'm good.
But I did. I went. Then I ended up in a Propecia chat group.
And that's what I'm going to do.
Pulling my hair from your crotch.
You want to do it. That's what it is.
Right off your top of your hair.
It takes it right off my sack and puts them up here.
You want to do a Propecia chat group?
Yes.
Really?
That and because when I Googled my balls hurt, all that I'm like,
Oh, I have that. I have that.
So I had to stop taking it.
But it's still kind of hanging on.
So I'm happy.
That is a depressing check group.
That is not a bunch of guys who were celebrating life there.
You know what's scary?
That was as you type in Propecia and you type in my and just the B of balls.
And just because balls hurt.
Click.
Click.
No, I see. So that's the thing. Look, I mean, what are you trying to do?
You're going to try to be on People Magazine?
You know what? I'm very excited.
Who cares? Who cares?
Who cares? You're right. I'm going to let it go.
Yeah. And you don't want to be on that sexiest list, man.
That's...
Those of the people that go, man, what happened?
I don't want to have one of those problems where you get too much pussy.
That would be horrible.
No, I'm going to tell you, though.
It's fantastic.
Just so you know.
Being on the sexiest list?
How is my hair?
I mean, come on, it's friggin' glorious.
So I know, I, I, I, that's why I'm due, I'm unwilling to have my balls.
All right, so here, let's get to the show, shall we? That was, that was riffing.
That was riffing.