Name: Patrice O'Neal - Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn - Stand-Up
Uploaded: 2016-09-07T10:28:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Patrice O'Neal - Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn - Stand-Up' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Patrice O'Neal - Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn - Stand-Up' from Comedy of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-07. Transcript available.

Uh, so we're gonna start with. I really miss SARS. Uh, I, I really hate to see
it go, man.
I really was happy watching Chinese people walking around, uh, not trying to
cough.
You know, you know, but I just love watching Chinese people get the pressure
applied.
Looking at them, like, waiting for them to cough. You know you, when you was
working with them,
you was just looking at them. If you cough, if this Chinese dude coughs, it was
just fantastic
because every other disease they blame on black people. I can't get enough of
it.
I'm watching, uh, TV, uh, Monkey Pox, and they was doing some magical disease,
white people breaking out with this, and, and, uh, and so I'm looking, and they're
doing the report,
and they show a composite sketch of some rat, uh, from Africa, which, which,
which, which means he's black.
And they drew it. First of all, I'm like, what's the, how do you know the
difference between some,
some, some, uh, black rat, and some rat from the Bronx?
That's the, that's the Puerto Rican hat. So they, they, they might as well drew,
uh, a hat backwards,
and so, so this is the Monkey Pox culprit. Watch out for the, watch out for the
dirty, uh, black rat!
And, and then, uh, uh, it attacked, it attacked, uh, now white people don't
really have an animal representative of themselves,
but if you was to think of a few, one would be a bald eagle, and the other
would be a prairie dog, and that's what it attacked,
so it was almost just like a newscast. Be on the lookout for some rat, uh, he,
uh, he, uh, bit, uh, some poor defenseless, uh, prairie dog just watching the
game, and stole his wallet and bent him in the shoulder and gave him.
I'm watching the, uh, this bug show with the locusts, man, the, the, the, you
know, black locusts from Africa, black, whoa, watch out for black locusts.
Africanized, that's what they call Africanized, big black locusts, watch out, 'cause
they, they eat up all the crops, and they don't tip, and, and, watch out, watch
out for the locusts.
And y'all know about the monkey, monkey got charged up with all kinds of the
monkey, AIDS, Ebola, uh, I'm not even really scared of AIDS anymore, I mean, 'cause
how can you with magic? You see Magic Johnson? He looks fantastic.
I can't be afraid. He looks wonderful. He's had AIDS for 15 years. What kind of
AIDS he got? The good kind? I want, he's been, he's been opening movie theaters,
and Starbucks for the last 15 years. I want that kind of AIDS. Give me that.
Make me a better entrepreneur. I need that.
Patrice, you got AIDS. Good! I want to open a trucking company, 'cause...
Oh, this crowd is tough, yeah, man.
Look at the Chinese people, they didn't laugh at that.
But the black people and the Chinese people rode, they're always laughing at
the thing, right? But they, they went...
That's young girls for you, boy. Young girls do that. Young, the only thing
good about young girls, y'all, young girls, y'all young, y'all look delicious,
you know?
Other than that...
And they're getting bigger, too, man, these young bros, man.
Damn, you see 'em? I think it's stuff they putting in the chicken and all that
stuff, all that...
That, you know what I mean? They walking around big. I saw this woman walking
down the street. I was like, damn, you fine. How old are you?
And she was like, four. Oh, my God.
I said, you got some nice titties for four.