Name: Louis C.K on Investing and Money
Uploaded: 2022-10-10T15:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K on Investing and Money' from I'm Not Louis on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K on Investing and Money' from I'm Not Louis on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-10. Transcript available.

When you look at some of the lowest Dow figures we've had since 97, and then
other companies that are posting all-time lows, you know, big companies, not
just...
But you know, the Dow Jones goes up when unemployment goes up.
Like, the country hurting are indicators to buy and stuff, so it's like, it's
not really an accurate measure of how most people's lives are going.
It's like, if the Dow goes down, that just means, who fucking can buy stock?
I mean, out of, like, real people in the real world, who can really fucking
invest in stock?
Well, I think what you're supposed to do, like, what you're told you're
supposed to do when you get a job is tuck some money away and save it.
That's like phase one.
You get a job, save money.
Well, that's the thing is that Americans are saving more money now.
Like, American savings accounts are higher than ever.
So petrified to put it in anything else.
But that's good.
That's good.
It's like, things have been so fucked up for so long.
Just exploding credit.
Yeah.
People having shit they can't even come close to actually, like, affording to
have.
And not putting any money in the bank.
And just living for the retarded moment.
Check to check.
Just fucking from your ATM card, you get the money out and stick it right in
your asshole and just shoot jizz all over your fucking stomach.
Like, just constant flow.
Yeah.
And now people are going, well, maybe I save.
Maybe I buy things I need.
And that makes the Dow go down.
Because people aren't just being stupid.
So that's good.
It was too high.
The Dow was too fucking high.
12,000 was crazy.
Too fucking high.
Fucking high.
I was talking to my financial guy.
And he actually said, and I didn't want to hear this.
He goes, well, you know, you got that safe in your apartment.
I would suggest you put money in it.
I'm like, oh, that's good.
That's what your buddy says at the bar, not your financial advisor.
He's like, I would suggest you put a few dollars in that safe.
Yeah.
How they get you in.
I know you're hearing stuff you've never heard before that person.
Right, right, right.
That talking head with the number scrolling under it that you always turn the
sound off on.
Yeah.
Turn it up and it's just a woman saying, and then melt the gold and make a calf
unto your
God and carry the calf around and kill a virgin.
This is the new recommendation from, you know, Merrill Lynch.
Yeah, I've never turned up the volume and say, bury your money in the backyard.
Diamonds are an excellently portable way to escape the country.
Swallow the diamonds inside of a condom.
It really has gotten to the point where, yeah, you just, should you buy gold
and just bury it like a pirate?
But then, see, I'm afraid of doing that because gold is so psychological.
You're a gold guy.
I have some gold coins.
Money is more psychological than gold coins.
Actually, those gold coins that I bought, they were like 700 bucks each and it's
up to 990 an ounce right now.
There you go.
But I would never put everything in gold because gold is this idea that it's
worth something.
And tomorrow, everyone can say gold is worth nothing.
But gold has more realism to it than cash does.
Yes, it does.
It's true.
It's hard to believe and really grasp, but...
Louie makes a good point, though.
If the whole world gets together and goes, you know what?
The same worth shit.
The gold should not be worth shit.
No.
And that'll solve all our problems.
And the diamonds are...
If that happens, we're in trouble because our money is all based on Fort Knox.
Right.
So if the whole world goes, we're in deep trouble.
It used to be.
It's not anymore like Goldfinger was made.
It's not anymore.
Yeah, they took us off the gold standard years ago.
Long time ago.
Oh, Jimmy.
The gold in Fort Knox is just...
No.
What if we find a gold in Fort Knox?
Okay, 1960s, Jim.
What if we find a big pit of diamonds?
And then the next thing you know, like...
Yeah, but don't you know, there's too many diamonds.
Don't you know about the diamonds?
What?
The beers, they actually don't have an office in America because they're
illegal because they're such criminals.
Right, right.
Literally, you can't.
They're not allowed here.
It's just awful.
It's not because of that.
It's not because of...
Their practices, like, economically, they have...
There are way more diamonds than there are, like, fucking rocks in your
backyard, in your gravel driveway.
For real?
There are way...
But the De Beers Company hoards them.
Like, they use these, like, fucking cartels and armies and stuff and warlords.
Really?
They hoard diamonds.
They have a massive load of diamonds.
And they control the price by meeting it out how much they want to.
And then every time a competitor starts making diamonds...
They kill them?
They flood the market with diamonds and lower the value of it.
Wow.
But aren't they so beautiful and sparkly?
Yeah, but they're common.
They're not a...
They're fucking...
Common?
They are.
They're not that...
And if the De Beers Company tomorrow could say diamonds are worth fucking starburst
fruit
shoes...
Well, so don't buy those.
Yeah.
What are they based out of?
Uh, my mother's cunt.
Oh, Jesus.
I don't know.
It must be a huge company.
Whatever it is, man.
With fucking...
It's crazy.
With good ventilation.
No, it's about 15 big vessels, big...
So, the main guy...
No, every time you hit a gap in my knowledge, I just go to my mother's cunt.
So, the main guy that...
The main guy for De Beers on his way out could just say, you know what?
I'm going to fuck everybody.
I'm leaving this planet.
Who gives a shit?
Diamonds aren't worth anything tomorrow.
That's actually right.
I just did some research that says that there's more of a man-made shortage
about diamonds
than there is a natural one.
Uh, the distribution of, uh, the number of diamonds put on the market each year
is very
regulated, and, uh, there are enough diamonds to give each man, woman, and
child in the
U.S. a whole cup full.
Yes.
A whole cup full?
A whole cup full of diamonds in the morning.
Wow, two countries, one cup.
Three of those rips, you.
What the fuck?
I didn't know that.
I thought that was a rare...
I saw it on 16 minutes.
It's kind of like, uh, OPEC, so, you know, they take the oil and say,
well, we're just not going to pump as much out.
Except for oil is a resource that's used by the, by the...
Yeah, yeah.
Supply and demand, my friend.
Supply and demand.
Diamonds.
If you are...
They're a girl's best friend, I hear.
Well...
Yeah, because girls are cunts, and they don't care who dies for their fucking
sparkles.
Yes.
That's actually...
That's actually too long for the slogan, but I like it.
I like that.
That's a little slug line.
That's nice.
No, that's...
De Beers.
Yeah, Tiffany.
Tiffany should use that one.
Tiffany.
Wow, Danny.
I learned something today.
I had no idea.
Yeah, it's a horse shit thing.
Can you check where they're based out of, Danny?
I would love to know.
I'll mention the guy who runs it.
Who runs that company?
I don't know.
It's a family.
How fucking powerful is that?
The Beers are a family.
It's amazing.
It's Ted De Beers.
De Beers.
De Beers.
He puts out just one diamond, I think, though.
Yeah, one diamond a year, and you've got to fight all of them.
A cup of diamonds for every man, woman, and child.
Oh, a cup made of diamonds.
A cup of diamonds.
Diamond hats.
It's a funny visual.
Diamond tires.
That doesn't make me feel good.
Headquarters are in South Africa.
I knew that.
I'm starting to think I should put my money in diamonds.
You know.
There's nothing safe.
There's nothing.
Money isn't a thing.
Right.
Grow a garden.
That's all you can really do.
Well, my financial advisor shouldn't say put it in your safe, though.
Yeah.
I was hoping that he could figure something a little better than that.
No, I was watching one of those financial shows, and they're all talking this
round table.
Yeah.
And they're going, well, this isn't.
And they're just knocking down everything.
Oh, how about GE?
Not so good.
And I can just keep knocking them all down.
Could take a while.
And finally, the guy goes to the big expert, what's the thing, then?
And the guy goes, stick some cash in your mattress.
And everybody laughed and then went, huh, really?
He was serious.
And he goes, no, stick cash in your mattress.
Like, they weren't kidding, and they all looked kind of pale as they went to
the credits.
Like, oh, my God, we actually just said that.
We're at this point.
And it was real advice.
The financial advisor would always tell you, don't put money in the bank when
there's low
interest, because you'll have the money in the bank, but the interest rate will
not outweigh
the cost of living increase over the years.
So you're actually losing money having it in that bank.
And I would always sit there and go, well, no, you know what it is, though?
If you have a lot of money in a bank account, they have, like, where you don't
pay a fee.
Right, right.
So I'm sitting there, and I couldn't grasp it.
I'm going, you know, I understand what you're saying.
Like, if I'm making 1% on my money because the interest rate is so low.
But if I have X amount of dollars in the bank, in a month from now, I'm going
to have X amount
plus 1%, not down $18,000 because the fucking stock dropped.
I don't care if it doesn't outweigh the cost of living.
I'll deal with that.
I just want to know that I'm going to have what I don't need that much.
Just tell me I'm going to have what I started with.
Here's what I don't get, though, like, when money, sorry, like with inflation,
like that
idea that you take a truckload, like, there was a time in our country where you
needed
a wheelbarrow of money to buy a loaf of bread.
Yeah, yeah.
But if those people, those dollar bills that they had in that wheelbarrow, if
they held
on to them, and when things got good, isn't that now worth it?
Just wait a while.
Now it's worth the money.
That million dollars you spent on a loaf of bread.
Yeah.
Just wait.
Don't buy the bread with it.
Yeah, hold off.
Steal the bread like a man.
I remember our father, but then you'll have a million dollars.
Yes.
Wow.
And I'm like, that was his pitch, though, because it got so weird out there.
It's like, no, you still want your money in these investments, and you want it
with me
because I'm certainly losing less than the other guys.
I'm using mine to put equity in my home.
And as a consumer, I'm like, what?
That doesn't make me feel good.
No.
I don't know.
My accountant called me after the biggest crash day, and he said, you're the
only person
I got good news for because you don't have any fucking money.
He said, you're the only client I have who lost nothing today.
I called you to make himself feel better.
Yeah, exactly.
Because I had no...
He had such a rough day.
He's like, who on this list is...
Exactly.
I could call to...
You don't...
You just...
You really don't know what to do with your cash.
No.
I just put it in, like I said, I put it in my home equity.
I just paid mortgage.
Fuck, what else can you do?
It's like, I'm sick of paying the bank interest.
And then I go, yeah, because that's the other thing people say, the one thing
that's, you
know, that land is perfect because there's always more people, there's never
more land.
Yeah.
Blah, blah, blah.
But then I think, no, but then there's going to be the revolution, and the
brown people are
going to say, you're going to steal my land.
I don't care what your lease says.
I don't care what your title says.
That's why you need to buy guns.
One of the, one of the, one of the, one of the, one of the, one of the
solutions to
the, the woes out there, the economic woes, is a situation.
Is what?
A situation.
Less people play or something.
Some kind of situation will, you know, make things a lot better.
We're reaching some kind of limits here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's just not, there's just not, you know, the thing is, it's another reason,
again,
why it's good that this shit's happening, because you can't keep getting more,
this
idea of wealth, that's not based on, hey, we just found more stuff in America,
and we're
selling it to other places.
Right.
It's just, we're selling each other experience and orgasms, and just trading
money to the
point where there's just money that's not based in anything.
It's not based on some gold.
Yeah.
It's not based on that we're carting more fucking oats to China.
It's this, we're selling our debt to China, that's our big, you know, that
thing that
people say now, that that's our biggest export, is debt.
Debt.
Did you know that?
Yeah, yeah.
That outstrips by far any cars we make, or any steel.
Yeah, we sell them debt.
It's the biggest thing that we sell, is buy some of our debt, and now we owe
you the money
instead of to the Bank of America.
We owe you money plus interest.
Yeah, so that's what we're, why wouldn't that crumble?
Why wouldn't that stop and go like, well, there's not more stuff.
Because we have atom bombs.
Like, that's what I mean.
No, I know, but inside, it's not going to be an invasion, it's an implosion.
It's just that we don't have the fucking resources, or even the education, or
knowledge, or the
talents to sustain all this shit.
Or the wherewithal.
Wherewithal, Jamie.
I think eventually we'll just say, we're not paying you back, and then if you
argue with
it, we will just drop huge bombs on you.
That's fine, but we don't have anything to give each other anymore.
We don't have anything, at some point you tap out.
Come up with a widget.
It's just widgets.
They're just fake things.
We're just trading widgets for paper, for imaginary things that are worth
little fucking, little
things on an abacus.
I remember I was in Arizona once, and I stopped at a gas station that's also a
Nathan's Hot
Dogs subway.
Wow, in Arizona.
Subway, Dunkin' Donuts, Baskin' Robbins, 7-Eleven store.
And this pasty, skinny, malformed, white American kid with chunks out of his
hair.
He just cut his own hair like he was brushing it in the morning, just to keep
the length down.
You know, I just picture him looking in the mirror, half asleep, like literally
just using
scissors like they're a comb.
Yeah.
And then he's, so he's selling a fucking Subway sandwich to a dude that's him.
Just, there's no difference between the two guys.
He made it for them.
They're just both sleepy.
He goes, yeah, can you put onions on it?
And he goes, yeah, these onions?
Yeah, okay.
And then at some, I looked at them, I'm like, why don't you just eat it?
Who cares which one he eats it?
Who cares which one he eats it?
Nothing real.
You'd be an exchange there.
Oh, that's great.
I guess we're just these people looking at each other glassy-eyed, making
consumer choices
to each other.
Yeah.
One guy's getting paid and one guy's eating the thing, but what the fucking
difference?
That what amazes me, the world is drastically changing and Bush, this was all
happening.
How did Bush skate?
I know.
This was all ready to happen and he was just skating to the end of his
presidency.
Did they see it though?
Because the whole world economy, London, they had to have seen the sign.
They did because all the seeds for this were planted a long time ago and people
just kept
pushing off the idea of doing anything about it.
He just didn't want it on his watch.
He just wanted to get to the end of it.
There's a great story in NPR that tells the entire story, like from fucking
front to finish.
It was this long, long thing they played.
Of course, it's NPR.
Fascinating how far back it went.
I'm not blaming Bush, by the way.
This was obviously all just developing while he was in office.
Well, Clinton didn't help either.
Sure.
Fucking Reagan, man.
But finally, but I guess what I'm trying to say is it was coming to a breaking
point and
he was like, huh, not on my watch, man.
No.
Get Obama in there and let him deal with this shit.
Where's my helicopter?
I'm out.
Yep.
Is it a bad time?
Investments now, it's like, what do you buy into?
Like, I invested, there's a company and what they do is they go to people's
homes.
Sorry, Jimmy.
And they do oil paintings of you and your family and the paintings are about $8,000
and
this company is like $300 a share.
And I think that in an economic crisis, people want oil paintings of themselves
for their families.
What a wise investment.
In these tough times.
To come and paint oil paintings of them.
You know what?
There is a story about this painter I saw on some, I think it was on 60 Minutes,
this
guy who's an American painter and he paints just shitty landscapes like you see
like in
a hotel lobby.
Yeah.
But he became hot as a painter.
Like, people just really dig them.
This is to me like a great example of what is wrong with the whole fucking
world country,
really.
And he paints these shitty landscapes and they're so hot that he just makes
prints of them.
Like they're just, but then he adds a couple of dabs of paint to the print to
make it original
and then signs his name and crazy Americans buy these for like $30,000 and then
they trade
them like they're a big, hot, it's like a hobby to buy his paintings.
But people like mortgage their homes to buy his paintings.
They get obsessed.
So they showed him, he flies into Houston in a private jet and goes to this big
hall and
it looks like a Est meeting or something.
It's thousands of people like he's God and he's got a headset, you know, like
Garth Brooks.
Like he's, he, he's kind of like a Garth Brooks, he cowboy ish kind of guy.
I'm a painter, man.
Watch this shit.
And they have all his paintings up on stage and he's signing them like super
fast.
And the, some, an assistant is just taking one away and he signs, it takes
another way
and he signs it and he says, everyone I sign is worth another $10,000 and he
signs and
people are standing and applauding that he's, that he's just, that he's just
printing money.
People are so excited that he's rich and that they're giving him money.
He must be like, is he from a planet, another planet?
Does he have hypnotic like powers?
He's just got that drive.
He's got that thing that people like more than anything that somebody is
successful and rich.
They're so excited that somebody is rich.
I, I'd love to be like one of those people that can just go in front of a
stadium and just
talk about how great you are and have people just be like, yes.
Yes.
And they throw, they're so excited.
They're throwing money.
And it's usually some religious thing.
You know, I got to get a cult.
It's a lot.
There's, there is a comedian in the world who succeeded that way.
The thing that the number one thing people love about that comedian is how
successful he
is.
Like if you, if you look at writing about him, the first thing they say is look
how many
of these he's sold and look how good.
And they don't, the germ of like what he actually does.
That's arbitrary.
He's a success story.
Yeah.
Look how many friends he has on this thing.
And look how much.
Look at Tony Robbins.
For years he was like fucking the lurch of, uh, the lurch of, of, of being, uh,
amazing.
Yeah.
And he'd get out there and just tell people how to, how to make it.
And they were, they were fucking like falling down, crying, watching this guy.
How the, how do you pull that off?
And a small percentage of those people will ever make it.
Oh, please.
Even though they find right into his concept.
No, it's amazing.
None of them.
What?
Thomas Kincaid, the painter.
That's, I think that's his name.
No, it's Reuben, Reuben Kincaid.
Reuben.
Reuben's his agent is his brother.
Oh, is it?
Yes.
Thomas is, uh, is the painter.
Once he got rid of that, that pain in the ass redheaded boy.
Yes.
He was able to concentrate on his brother's career.
Fucking pedophile.
I don't know.

Louis C.K on Investing and Money

When you look at some of the lowest Dow figures we've had since 97, and then
other companies that are posting all-time lows, you know, big companies, not
just...
But you know, the Dow Jones goes up when unemployment goes up.
Like, the country hurting are indicators to buy and stuff, so it's like, it's
not really an accurate measure of how most people's lives are going.
It's like, if the Dow goes down, that just means, who fucking can buy stock?
I mean, out of, like, real people in the real world, who can really fucking
invest in stock?
Well, I think what you're supposed to do, like, what you're told you're
supposed to do when you get a job is tuck some money away and save it.
That's like phase one.
You get a job, save money.
Well, that's the thing is that Americans are saving more money now.
Like, American savings accounts are higher than ever.
So petrified to put it in anything else.
But that's good.
That's good.
It's like, things have been so fucked up for so long.
Just exploding credit.
Yeah.
People having shit they can't even come close to actually, like, affording to
have.
And not putting any money in the bank.
And just living for the retarded moment.
Check to check.
Just fucking from your ATM card, you get the money out and stick it right in
your asshole and just shoot jizz all over your fucking stomach.
Like, just constant flow.
Yeah.
And now people are going, well, maybe I save.
Maybe I buy things I need.
And that makes the Dow go down.
Because people aren't just being stupid.
So that's good.
It was too high.
The Dow was too fucking high.
12,000 was crazy.
Too fucking high.
Fucking high.
I was talking to my financial guy.
And he actually said, and I didn't want to hear this.
He goes, well, you know, you got that safe in your apartment.
I would suggest you put money in it.
I'm like, oh, that's good.
That's what your buddy says at the bar, not your financial advisor.
He's like, I would suggest you put a few dollars in that safe.
Yeah.
How they get you in.
I know you're hearing stuff you've never heard before that person.
Right, right, right.
That talking head with the number scrolling under it that you always turn the
sound off on.
Yeah.
Turn it up and it's just a woman saying, and then melt the gold and make a calf
unto your
God and carry the calf around and kill a virgin.
This is the new recommendation from, you know, Merrill Lynch.
Yeah, I've never turned up the volume and say, bury your money in the backyard.
Diamonds are an excellently portable way to escape the country.
Swallow the diamonds inside of a condom.
It really has gotten to the point where, yeah, you just, should you buy gold
and just bury it like a pirate?
But then, see, I'm afraid of doing that because gold is so psychological.
You're a gold guy.
I have some gold coins.
Money is more psychological than gold coins.
Actually, those gold coins that I bought, they were like 700 bucks each and it's
up to 990 an ounce right now.
There you go.
But I would never put everything in gold because gold is this idea that it's
worth something.
And tomorrow, everyone can say gold is worth nothing.
But gold has more realism to it than cash does.
Yes, it does.
It's true.
It's hard to believe and really grasp, but...
Louie makes a good point, though.
If the whole world gets together and goes, you know what?
The same worth shit.
The gold should not be worth shit.
No.
And that'll solve all our problems.
And the diamonds are...
If that happens, we're in trouble because our money is all based on Fort Knox.
Right.
So if the whole world goes, we're in deep trouble.
It used to be.
It's not anymore like Goldfinger was made.
It's not anymore.
Yeah, they took us off the gold standard years ago.
Long time ago.
Oh, Jimmy.
The gold in Fort Knox is just...
No.
What if we find a gold in Fort Knox?
Okay, 1960s, Jim.
What if we find a big pit of diamonds?
And then the next thing you know, like...
Yeah, but don't you know, there's too many diamonds.
Don't you know about the diamonds?
What?
The beers, they actually don't have an office in America because they're
illegal because they're such criminals.
Right, right.
Literally, you can't.
They're not allowed here.
It's just awful.
It's not because of that.
It's not because of...
Their practices, like, economically, they have...
There are way more diamonds than there are, like, fucking rocks in your
backyard, in your gravel driveway.
For real?
There are way...
But the De Beers Company hoards them.
Like, they use these, like, fucking cartels and armies and stuff and warlords.
Really?
They hoard diamonds.
They have a massive load of diamonds.
And they control the price by meeting it out how much they want to.
And then every time a competitor starts making diamonds...
They kill them?
They flood the market with diamonds and lower the value of it.
Wow.
But aren't they so beautiful and sparkly?
Yeah, but they're common.
They're not a...
They're fucking...
Common?
They are.
They're not that...
And if the De Beers Company tomorrow could say diamonds are worth fucking starburst
fruit
shoes...
Well, so don't buy those.
Yeah.
What are they based out of?
Uh, my mother's cunt.
Oh, Jesus.
I don't know.
It must be a huge company.
Whatever it is, man.
With fucking...
It's crazy.
With good ventilation.
No, it's about 15 big vessels, big...
So, the main guy...
No, every time you hit a gap in my knowledge, I just go to my mother's cunt.
So, the main guy that...
The main guy for De Beers on his way out could just say, you know what?
I'm going to fuck everybody.
I'm leaving this planet.
Who gives a shit?
Diamonds aren't worth anything tomorrow.
That's actually right.
I just did some research that says that there's more of a man-made shortage
about diamonds
than there is a natural one.
Uh, the distribution of, uh, the number of diamonds put on the market each year
is very
regulated, and, uh, there are enough diamonds to give each man, woman, and
child in the
U.S. a whole cup full.
Yes.
A whole cup full?
A whole cup full of diamonds in the morning.
Wow, two countries, one cup.
Three of those rips, you.
What the fuck?
I didn't know that.
I thought that was a rare...
I saw it on 16 minutes.
It's kind of like, uh, OPEC, so, you know, they take the oil and say,
well, we're just not going to pump as much out.
Except for oil is a resource that's used by the, by the...
Yeah, yeah.
Supply and demand, my friend.
Supply and demand.
Diamonds.
If you are...
They're a girl's best friend, I hear.
Well...
Yeah, because girls are cunts, and they don't care who dies for their fucking
sparkles.
Yes.
That's actually...
That's actually too long for the slogan, but I like it.
I like that.
That's a little slug line.
That's nice.
No, that's...
De Beers.
Yeah, Tiffany.
Tiffany should use that one.
Tiffany.
Wow, Danny.
I learned something today.
I had no idea.
Yeah, it's a horse shit thing.
Can you check where they're based out of, Danny?
I would love to know.
I'll mention the guy who runs it.
Who runs that company?
I don't know.
It's a family.
How fucking powerful is that?
The Beers are a family.
It's amazing.
It's Ted De Beers.
De Beers.
De Beers.
He puts out just one diamond, I think, though.
Yeah, one diamond a year, and you've got to fight all of them.
A cup of diamonds for every man, woman, and child.
Oh, a cup made of diamonds.
A cup of diamonds.
Diamond hats.
It's a funny visual.
Diamond tires.
That doesn't make me feel good.
Headquarters are in South Africa.
I knew that.
I'm starting to think I should put my money in diamonds.
You know.
There's nothing safe.
There's nothing.
Money isn't a thing.
Right.
Grow a garden.
That's all you can really do.
Well, my financial advisor shouldn't say put it in your safe, though.
Yeah.
I was hoping that he could figure something a little better than that.
No, I was watching one of those financial shows, and they're all talking this
round table.
Yeah.
And they're going, well, this isn't.
And they're just knocking down everything.
Oh, how about GE?
Not so good.
And I can just keep knocking them all down.
Could take a while.
And finally, the guy goes to the big expert, what's the thing, then?
And the guy goes, stick some cash in your mattress.
And everybody laughed and then went, huh, really?
He was serious.
And he goes, no, stick cash in your mattress.
Like, they weren't kidding, and they all looked kind of pale as they went to
the credits.
Like, oh, my God, we actually just said that.
We're at this point.
And it was real advice.
The financial advisor would always tell you, don't put money in the bank when
there's low
interest, because you'll have the money in the bank, but the interest rate will
not outweigh
the cost of living increase over the years.
So you're actually losing money having it in that bank.
And I would always sit there and go, well, no, you know what it is, though?
If you have a lot of money in a bank account, they have, like, where you don't
pay a fee.
Right, right.
So I'm sitting there, and I couldn't grasp it.
I'm going, you know, I understand what you're saying.
Like, if I'm making 1% on my money because the interest rate is so low.
But if I have X amount of dollars in the bank, in a month from now, I'm going
to have X amount
plus 1%, not down $18,000 because the fucking stock dropped.
I don't care if it doesn't outweigh the cost of living.
I'll deal with that.
I just want to know that I'm going to have what I don't need that much.
Just tell me I'm going to have what I started with.
Here's what I don't get, though, like, when money, sorry, like with inflation,
like that
idea that you take a truckload, like, there was a time in our country where you
needed
a wheelbarrow of money to buy a loaf of bread.
Yeah, yeah.
But if those people, those dollar bills that they had in that wheelbarrow, if
they held
on to them, and when things got good, isn't that now worth it?
Just wait a while.
Now it's worth the money.
That million dollars you spent on a loaf of bread.
Yeah.
Just wait.
Don't buy the bread with it.
Yeah, hold off.
Steal the bread like a man.
I remember our father, but then you'll have a million dollars.
Yes.
Wow.
And I'm like, that was his pitch, though, because it got so weird out there.
It's like, no, you still want your money in these investments, and you want it
with me
because I'm certainly losing less than the other guys.
I'm using mine to put equity in my home.
And as a consumer, I'm like, what?
That doesn't make me feel good.
No.
I don't know.
My accountant called me after the biggest crash day, and he said, you're the
only person
I got good news for because you don't have any fucking money.
He said, you're the only client I have who lost nothing today.
I called you to make himself feel better.
Yeah, exactly.
Because I had no...
He had such a rough day.
He's like, who on this list is...
Exactly.
I could call to...
You don't...
You just...
You really don't know what to do with your cash.
No.
I just put it in, like I said, I put it in my home equity.
I just paid mortgage.
Fuck, what else can you do?
It's like, I'm sick of paying the bank interest.
And then I go, yeah, because that's the other thing people say, the one thing
that's, you
know, that land is perfect because there's always more people, there's never
more land.
Yeah.
Blah, blah, blah.
But then I think, no, but then there's going to be the revolution, and the
brown people are
going to say, you're going to steal my land.
I don't care what your lease says.
I don't care what your title says.
That's why you need to buy guns.
One of the, one of the, one of the, one of the, one of the, one of the
solutions to
the, the woes out there, the economic woes, is a situation.
Is what?
A situation.
Less people play or something.
Some kind of situation will, you know, make things a lot better.
We're reaching some kind of limits here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's just not, there's just not, you know, the thing is, it's another reason,
again,
why it's good that this shit's happening, because you can't keep getting more,
thi