Name: Louis C.K - Offensive Words
Uploaded: 2023-05-26T20:51:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K - Offensive Words' from I'm Not Louis on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K - Offensive Words' from I'm Not Louis on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-26. Transcript available.

All right. Thank you. All right, faggot, how you doing?
Sorry. I called him a faggot.
I miss that word, you know? I grew up saying that word, and I mean, it never
meant gay.
When I was a kid, I didn't know what gay was. No, I hadn't been told that
people do that.
I had no fucking idea.
Faggot didn't mean gay. When I was a kid, you called somebody faggot because
they're being a faggot, you know?
And I was just being a faggot. Neat. Shut up, faggot.
Man's supposed to use those for that. Shut up, faggot.
Didn't mean, like, I would never call a gay guy a faggot, unless he's being a faggot.
But not because he's gay, you understand?
Like, if I saw two guys blowing each other, and I don't know why I'm watching
them do it, but if I just happened to...
I don't know.
I stumbled upon a couple of fellas
blowing one another on their
respective panesia.
That's a plural for penis that I invented today.
Panesia.
I would be respectful to them.
I would, you know, hello, gentlemen.
Whatever, you know?
But if one of them took the dick out of his mouth and started acting all faggy
and saying
annoying faggy things...
You know, people from Phoenix are Phoenicians or something like that.
I'd be like, hey, shut up, faggot.
Faggot!
Quit being a faggot and suck that dick.
That's what I would say to them.
I would never call somebody a mean name because they're sucking a dick.
Because if you can suck a dick, man, that's awesome.
I respect you.
Because I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I mean, I haven't tried and failed.
I just have put myself there in my mind and I couldn't do it because I'm afraid.
That's the only reason.
But that's why if you can suck a dick, I think that there's a strength in being
able to do
that.
I believe that.
I don't believe that blowing somebody comes easily to anybody.
Even if it's something that you generally do, every new dick must take
something out of
you.
There must be something you got to do to get yourself ready.
So, faggot.
A lot of words that are, not bad words.
No words are bad.
But some people start using them a lot to hurt other people and then they
become bad.
They become hard to use.
There's words that I love that I can't use because other people use them wrong
to hurt
other people.
Like the word cunt is a beautiful word.
To me, there's just beauty in that word.
And I don't, I mean aesthetically.
It has, it's like chocolatey and round on the ends.
I just like the, I just like the way it sounds.
And I don't use it as an insult.
I, I, I'm, I'm alone in the laundry.
I'm like, cunt, cunt.
I just like saying it.
I would never call a woman a cunt except for my mom because she likes us for
some weird
reason.
But it's a very misused word.
It's supposed to mean vagina, which I don't think works at all because vaginas
are so sweet.
They're little pretty things with little flower petally lips.
I hear a piccolo in my head.
Every time I see a vagina.
Even vaginas too harsh for, they should be called like a, there should be a
butterfly fluttering
around every vagina all the time.
Just all the time.
A little butterfly.
And you go to the doctor.
He's like, well, the butterfly looks good.
So we're in good shape.
Good color to the butterfly.
How do you look at something that pretty and say, that's a cunt.
That doesn't fit at all.
Maybe if it was a giant vagina and it was attacking a town and throwing buses
around and knocking
over telephone calls.
Then you could say, somebody shoot that cunt with a bazooka.
He's going to step on the candy store.
So faggot, cunt.
Everybody has different words that offend them.
Different things that they hear that they get offended by.
To me, the thing that offends me the most is every time that I hear the N word.
Not migger, by the way.
I mean the N word.
Literally.
Whenever a white lady on CNN with nice hair says the N word, that's just white
people
getting away with saying nigger.
That's all that is.
They found a way to say nigger.
N word.
It's bullshit because when you say the N word, you put the word nigger in the
listener's
head.
That's what saying a word is.
You say the N word and I go, oh, she means nigger.
You're making me say it in my head.
Why don't you fucking say it instead and take responsibility for the shitty
words you want
to say.
Just say it.
Don't hide behind the first letter like a faggot.
Just say nigger, you stupid cunt.
I don't know.
I don't care.
Somebody will kick my ass.
I mean all this shit goes on in my head.
I don't really use.
Like I thought the word nigger the other day.
I'm going to tell you this story.
And it wasn't racist.
It wasn't a race even connotation.
Let me tell you what happened.
I went to a coffee place and it was like a cool indie coffee.
I don't like Starbucks anymore because you go there and they don't care anymore.
They just press a button and some old lady's diarrhea comes out and they just
give it to
you.
So I go to like a young people cool coffee place with like my band's playing
notices on
the walls.
It's called like the howling doo whatever thing.
And the dude behind the counter's got a tight t-shirt and a ponytail and he's
like, hey,
what's up man?
And I was like, hey, can I get a cappuccino?
And he's like, yeah, right on.
Totally.
And he's like, he's amazed that he could help me like, oh yeah, I got all this
stuff right
here.
That's awesome.
And so he starts making my coffee just so he works so hard.
He ground the beans just for that one cup and put them in the thing and tamp
them with
this old thing and click, clack and click and then he took the milk and he frothed
it
like for like an hour and they banged it on the counter.
I don't know why it was awesome and he scooped it in and put a little cocoa on
it and he's
like, here you go, man.
And I was just blown away.
And for some reason as I left there, the thought in my head was that nigger
made the shit out
of my coffee.
I don't know why.
He wasn't black.
That's just what was in my heart for some reason was that nigger made the shit
out of
my coffee.
I don't know.
Thank you.