Name: Louis C.K - 20 Year Olds
Uploaded: 2023-05-27T19:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K - 20 Year Olds' from I'm Not Louis on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K - 20 Year Olds' from I'm Not Louis on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-27. Transcript available.

But anyway, I'm glad I'm here because of you and I want to do a good show for
you. That's my job.
That's the simplest thing in the world to me, is that you should do your job.
You should do it well. And not because of how well you get paid, but because
that's your job. I never understand people when I go to a place to get a thing
and they do their job shitty out of spite for how shitty their job
is. That makes no sense to me. Why would you do it?
Why wouldn't you want it? Why do you have to make my coffee sarcastically
hear your majesty, enjoy your coffee?
You know, why?
Why wouldn't you want it to? You know why? Because you're 20, you piece of shit.
That's why. Because you're a 20-year-old piece of shit.
I'm sorry, but I am prejudice against everyone who's 20 years old
that works at a place.
Because, they just think that if you just stand there and hate it, somebody
will go,
oh, well, then let's make you a director. That's how that works.
Just if you, clearly you're better than this.
20-year-olds are the worst people because that is a person who has been taking
and just sucking up
and absorbing fucking education and love and products and just giving nothing
back.
They're just, they're ripe like a big fat ripe orange on a tree and the tree's
like,
get the fuck out of here. Jesus. This is crazy. Fuck you. I don't want to go.
If you're 20, I guarantee you, you never did anything for anybody.
Yes, you went to Guatemala on a school trip and they told you you helped, but
you didn't help at all.
You were a way bigger pain in the ass than you were any help to those...
They're like, I got a mudslide in my house and I got to babysit a fucking
college student.
Just take a picture of her with a shovel so she can put it on Facebook and
leave us alone.
I had, that's an amazing experience.
Really? Did you take from them too, you motherfucker?
20-year-olds are not interesting people. They have nothing to say.
Nothing has happened to you. My parents moved and I go to school.
Who gives a shit? Unless you beat cancer as a child, you have nothing to say.
I'm more interesting because I'm 43.
That mathematically just makes me more interesting.
Just because shit has happened to me.
I've collected stories.
When I was 35, a woman blew me and two years later, she killed herself.
That's, she hung herself to death.
That's an interesting story.
That's worth listening to and pondering.
Because it means it takes two years after blowing me for the shame to be too
much that you gotta,
you gotta do yourself in.
It's, that's the gestation period.
What if every woman that ever blew me died exactly two years later and some
detective picked up on it?
And when he realizes why, he's like, well, I can't do anything.
It's not illegal to have a disgusting penis.
It's just a shame.
Anyway.
I don't like when a 20-year-old is working.
Because you never get attitude from the 65-year-old guy.
You ever go to Best Buy and the guy selling you a DVD player is like, 65?
That guy is trying to get a Nobel Prize for selling DVD players.
He's amazing.
You never get the 65-year-old guy like, does it have Blu-ray?
Well, let me read the box that you could have read.
No, he's like, well, let's find out.
You need to know that.
He's so excited to help you.
And he has reasons to be bitter, this 65-year-old guy.
He's 65.
He works at Best Buy.
He had to come out of retirement because his kid is gay and does crystal meth,
and he ruined his life.
And it's partly his fault because he didn't accept his son being gay.
That's why he's on drugs.
The point is, he's had a hard day, and he's still showing up at fucking Best
Buy wearing a bow tie.
They don't make you wear those.
That's how much he gives a shit.
I don't know, man.
Younger people, okay.
Fine.
You know?
I'll wait and see.
Maybe you'll be interesting.