Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-23-24 w. Fahim Anwar | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2024-05-23T16:57:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-23-24 w. Fahim Anwar | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-23-24 w. Fahim Anwar | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-23-24 w. Fahim Anwar | Bill Burr

hey what's going on it's bill burr it's time for the thursday afternoon just
before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you yes i am look at me i
wore my my little
my little black t-shirt for you you know i've just decided to become a
minimalist you guys
and i'm just in a life coach is my next thing that i'm this the next layer of
the onion that
i'm peeling back no i have a special guest that's why this is being filmed he
has a new special
coming out called house money his name is fahib anwar guy's one of the funniest
fucks out there
right now um he's making a lot of older fellas like me nervous he doesn't know
it yet but there's
there's a conservative effort to stop his meteoric rise to the top of the uh
the stand up no seriously
one of the one of the best you're one of the best out there i like like 22
years meteoric rise you've
been doing it 22 years yeah you still got hair like that you son of a bitch i
started when i was 18
but like yeah just the fact that you like will text me stuff we have a real
weird relationship like
the fact that you like me you kind of give love like a middle eastern dad like
you don't
like i'll hear rumblings of it but i don't believe it you know well all right
well i'll work
harder on that no no no no just like christ you know you fucking had some kid
on here
no no but like i'm 40 dude yeah i just turned 40 that's fucking that's an
impressive yeah you got
the mediterranean skid there or is it the middle eastern whatever you got the
sun is easy on you
yeah afghan afghan is the is the skin you're afghanistan-y afghan afghan yeah
afghan is that
what you say yeah that's you know let's say that's a blanket it is it's also a
dog
all right well is that from your your country i don't know i'm not i don't know
that i should
know more afghan stuff so who are you rooting for after 9 11 um anyway tell me
about this special
it's called house money and people were assuming what yeah that this is because
you you put your
own money oh that's the most famous saying was it run through saudi arabia yeah
yeah a lot of
saudi israel is that what happened saudi back money and why we shot it in nashville
the whole ying and yang oh where did you shoot in nashville zany's oh you did
yeah yeah yeah i kind
of messed up i was talking to ari spier about it right yeah yeah yeah so like
when i toured i did
all my great cities all my great markets and i'm like oh i got to shoot this
thing but i didn't want
i didn't want to hit the same city twice so i was like where should i shoot and
then my people were
like oh nashville's a pretty good market but i had never done it before so i
was kind of scared like
to play a market for the first time and then shoot it too because you don't
know
but i feel like i feel like it the special is better if you're you perform it
to people that
aren't you like if it's too much like you don't want to be like you know like a
complete 180 and
they hate you before you get to the stage but there should be a little you know
pushback against
everything you're saying or else it just becomes like this fucking applause i
hate those specials
like a pep assembly or something no it's just like i mean what's going on in
the country man right
everybody's just like just you know like uh one of one of those shows that
women
watch around 4 p.m you know those shows like uh you know there's like an
audience and everybody's
just fucking being positive like the view or yeah talking about food and this
new dish that you can
make like i feel like um like stand up there has to be a little bit of a uh
that doesn't have to be i
like you can be totally silly whatever but you love that push and pull i like
that yeah like just sort
of uh no but you don't do it in in like literally going like this you just what
i always do i just act
like an idiot like so if i went to nashville i would just talk to all of them
like they were farmers
just play into the trail i put it in your sense so you know you're out there
you know see we you know
you're out here trying to get your pigs back in the in the barn and they just
start you know and
they're fucking dressed like you i know they're working on an app or something
yeah but i just sit
there and i act like uh you know that's what i do i mean you guys i mean i know
it's hard you guys
wait where i'm from like all the streets are paved right even the side streets
and i know you guys out
here yeah he's got electricity how's that going yeah a lot of you guys don't
even have shoes and
then they they through doing that you're kind of showing that you do know
something about them by
being that fucking stupid or whatever and also you're kind of like making fun
of um i i feel like
you know some of these idiots on these award shows out here like the way that
they talk down to these
these states and half of them it's just like where are you from you're from a
flyover state
and then you're going to come out here and act like you're not from there
anymore oh i know yeah
how do you choose where to shoot a special like how do you do it um it's a
combination of the venue
and then like the crowd so my next one i think i'm gonna be doing in seattle oh
i'm from there wow
all right so i'm doing it to more theater so you know you guys got like
disgustingly liberal people
there and then you have like meathead lumberjacks right outside the city so
then they come in and
they balance each other out and then i just say shit to piss both of them off
and just wait for
their reactions and then it becomes you just light a fuse pretty much and then
let them fight when you
leave no the you go colombo you act like you don't realize you're doing it and
then somebody like
eventually takes the bait or it's just a great crowd and they're laughing
because they know that
you're doing it and then it's sort of a way to like okay these people are cool
they can laugh at like
you know i don't know my whole thing is like i don't have any answers i have a
few but like i
don't know what the fuck i'm talking about so if i can meet other people that
can be like all right
i lean to the right i lean to the left but i don't know what the fuck i'm
talking about i'm just making
a guess like those people are are uh you know i i like being around that type
of thing as opposed to like
you know some of the twats no i'm kidding no some of the like the people on
both sides that are just like
i don't know they get they get so patriotic they they i don't i don't know what
it is they get so
patriotic they join like a racist group or they get so patriotic that they they're
on the left and they're
like literally um like uh like backing censorship like i always thought it was
funny like how we
went from like hey maybe we should get rapists out of this business to like i
don't like what you're
talking about in your stand-up act it was just like what the fuck wait how did
how did we get here
crazy like my special that i put out it got hit with limited ads like it was
totally fine i did all
the things you're supposed to do there was a guy at youtube who's like he's
like a liaison between
stand-ups who were putting out youtube specials i was doing all the things you're
supposed to
ari shaffir was helping me out because he did it on his own too and did youtube
now how did ari get
around that because those fucking guys you know how that works at youtube is
basically you know
they'll sell advertisement on it but if it gets flagged yes so i mean if it
gets flagged this thing
and i said okay so if it gets flagged so the the advertisement doesn't run and
they go no it still
runs i go who gets the money youtube keeps it so what's to stop them from just
going around flagging a
bunch of fucking content and taking the money yeah every single one of your
podcasts gets is is limited
limited monetization yeah mine got hit with limited ads and the limited is just
me it's not them so
they basically steal from me every fucking week all of these guys this whole
fucking when i love this
world too where they they're talking about these guys these tech bros like they're
these frat guys
with their hats turned around backwards these are fucking nerds and they're
lying thieving pieces of
shit that's what the fuck they are and nobody's going after them because they
got all of this
fucking all these idiots out there who like you know if we get a bunch of
republicans and we get a
bunch of democrats and it's like you're not you're not look at the senate look
and look at the congress
how fucking corrupt those people are how much money they make a year versus
what their portfolios
are are are worth and if you're literally going to keep going thank you joe biden
or you can blame
trump for that i mean you're a fucking moron the president is basically
standing at the kiosk
telling you that your flight is canceled and then you're like you motherfucker
fuck you know
the flight would have gone if you had a different colored tie it's like it's a
little deeper than that
so uh sorry so that's where i am so i like my thing right now is i am trying to
like uh i'm trying to
get people like to be like if we keep going at each other all right like if i
came at you and said
you afghani so-and-so i don't trust you right even though you're dressed like jay
leno right
yeah come on come on bill see what kind of car you drive anything no i gotta
look at people like
you know wherever they sit i look at them like they they are dealing with what
i'm dealing with
right now which is a select few group of people up on the corporate structure
that are shrinking
everything and they're keeping all the money and that's why people are living
under bridges
yeah but it's easy just to i figured it all out he figured it out without
reading anything
right yeah all i want is my special to not be hit with limited ads but i'm
screwed that's not gonna
help once they hit you with the stink you can't get it off and so your reach is
suppressed and stuff
why what no what what i said a word i said a word what did you say i don't want
that word to
influence this but it rhymes with baguette it rhymes with baguette what would
that be it's not
it starts with a f oh yeah but here's the context of it so i was told it would
be okay because it's
in the context of the stand special it's the contest god hates the queers yeah
and i say you know i got
that's my famous joke that god hates the queers joke no and then ari i was like
can i say that in
this i'm worried about it he's like oh no no you can say that like uh i say it
in my special like i
scream ari is always a good person to go to i know in hindsight i'm like i'm
taking advice from
this guy oh you know absolutely but he's a sweetheart people don't know that he's
a real
sweet no he's he's he's a lovely man yeah so he was kind of holding my hand
through the whole
youtube self-release process and i thought i did all the things and ari shafir
is a man of the people
he is a man of the people he is he is a man of the people and you upload the
special 10 days prior
you premiere it goes through all its checks youtube it said it was all good no
limited ads and then a
few hours after it then it gets dinged and you're like oh because i did rogan
and you can see the
hockey stick on the growth because i that's how i do it i i time to put the i
time you used to flag
all his stuff too right oh really oh yeah taking all and taking all his money
uh they announced that
he was gonna leave they were like well we gotta make some money and then just
started they just
started cooking yeah he was saying that when joe said fuck this i'm leaving
youtube then they
unflagged all of his stuff to get more oh wow yeah no it's just that they're
selective huh they are
straight up fucking criminals but it's it's white collar crime and you don't
you forget about you
don't go to jail you just they don't even investigate it like through off since
about started a little
more than 40 years ago these corporate people they whatever watch drop group