Name: Monday Morning Podcast 8-20-24 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2024-08-20T20:42:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 8-20-24 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 8-20-24 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-20. Transcript available.

Monday Morning Podcast 8-20-24 | Bill Burr

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the monday morning podcast
for monday
august 20th 2024 what's going on how are ya how's it going in your neck of the
woods man
podcast a little late today i was rode out when i did wake up and uh i i had a
long drive
coming back went old school went old school i went old school five five and a
half hour drive um
but i liked it you know i haven't done that in a while and i'll tell you you
know the other day
you know i did a gig up in fresno and uh i i drove with club soda kenny up to
99 and i got to see what
that part of california look like and now i went up the monterey area and uh
you know it's just one
of those it's just such a beautiful state california don't listen to what these
fucking people say
okay all of these idiots who aren't out here like if i took a picture of where
i was driving in
california you would think it was like nebraska iowa or kansas and um as far as
all the farmland
maybe what they were growing would tip you off that you weren't there uh um
gorgeous gorgeous
hills and all that type of stuff and uh going through towns and you see all the
people that
you know picked you have the food and all of that the ones that idiots want to
get out of this country
it's like you get them out of the fucking country uh you know you can't even
get an american to do a
regular job well they're not really paying anybody anymore i'm just saying your
diet immediately
becomes really limited with all of these people you want to kick out of the
country that are doing
fucking backbreaking work in uh uh brutal conditions so um i mean people that
defend the country and
people that fucking are in farming i mean that's probably the two most
important right jesus christ bill
we didn't come here for a lecture oh geez um so anyway uh i was up there this
weekend and uh
i just went up to i had no idea that it was the same weekend as the pebble
beach auto show
the hoity-toity auto show i heard english people walking around town people
speaking french german
fucking rich cunts from around the world the world the world all fly in to look
at those great gatsby
looking cars the mercedes gullwings and all of that shit not because they're
into cars
because it's a good investment no some of the people are into cars and then
other people uh
you know you just go in there like here's something that's bad for people that
are into cars a buddy of
mine sent this to me one of those super birds super bowl suit one of those
super birds went for 3.3
million dollars uh let me find the fucking article uh no internet of course of
course because i have to
shut it up do this thing basically some fucking guy bought the car um
in what two years ago for one point like six million dollars and it was a
unique color it was this green
and the guy got the and it's one of the most fully loaded super birds out there
he got the biggest
engine he got the factory ac he got the power windows the whole thing it's in
great condition
this guy bought it for 1.6 million dollars two years later sold it for 3.3
um you can't do that in the stock market unless you know unless you're a
senator you can do that
as a senator but if you're just a regular person there's no place else you can
do that so that's
not good for car collectors because that's gonna that's gonna start attracting
people who can't even
change the oil in their car um who got money to just start buying like that so
it's a shame that those
cars are um here's one when's the last time you saw a super bird driving down
the street i mean
the thing's worth three million bucks now i mean
somebody a nissan leaf rear angel sorry about that you know i mean
uh i don't know if you're gonna yeah you're gonna leave it alone but i will
tell you this um
don't i actually when i found out that the pebble beach thing was up there i
was just going i wonder
how much tickets are i mean i go man probably like five six seven hundred bucks
it's seven grand per
ticket to go into the golf course and look at all of these cars you know the
ones that have like the
fucking leather straps to hold the hood down those giant ahuga cars which i don't
understand i don't
get those cars at all i i don't have a an understanding or an appreciation of
them
they just look like you hollowed out a metal log and stuck four wheels on it um
maybe if i saw one in
person i mean they're i don't know i i'm not into cars until like the 1940s
right around 1940
um i like that ford pickup of course everybody does right and then
somewhere i don't know mid 40s late 40s you stop sitting inside the wheel wells
and they become wider
and then everything after that i love um every year there's like one car that i
love but what
was cool about up there is if you don't have the money to go to pebble beach or
you don't give a
shit about like deusenbergs and stuff like that not saying that's all there is
because there was like
a mecham car out auction up there so i'm sure there was some mopar power coming
up on the balcony right
um they had uh all of these other car shows and just people driving around town
like i'll tell you all
the fucking cars i saw this weekend one of the coolest things i saw i think it
was a 1965 el camino
that was sort of like this british racing green forest green sort of color and
i don't know what
they did to the car but it just was a beautiful sound and the guy accelerated a
little bit and you
could just see all the power that they had and it was just like um there was
another thing like up the
street i saw like this car show and i saw like a grand national um all of these
other cars there's
another like classic car up place up there dino's or something like that and
they had this porsche
that i always wanted when i was a kid i forget what one it was not the 911 or
the 912 which i recently
found out the 912 looks like the 911 but has a volkswagen engine in it um
that other one the one that was like it's always almost like the first boxster
i don't know what it was but i when i was a kid i thought it was the coolest
car because it was so
fucking low to the ground and small and then it said porsche on the side it had
writing on it and you
know i was like six years old the first time i saw one of those and it was the
70s so they were all
like bright yellow and green and orange and i i just fucking loved the car even
though i guess
historically it's kind of looked at as like an underpowered porsche um but and
it's almost like
the front end and the back end look the same whatever one that is there's some
porsche fanatic
screaming what kind of car that is but uh it was really cool and um i went up
there with my with
my daughter we had like a dad-daughter weekend and uh just a gorgeous seaside
town they had like
seals chilling out like right around the fisherman's wharf
you know just laying around these things some of the bigger ones it's like that
thing looks like weighs
like 2 000 pounds 1500 pounds and just to know that something that big is
swimming for its life
and gets swallowed in like two bites by like a killer whale is insane but um so
that was kind of cool so
i just like went around town with my kiddo and uh was just doing dad daughter
stuff as all of these cool
cars were coming by and my my daughter was like pointing out the ones that she
liked and she liked
like all the lamborghinis and the ferraris and corvettes was sort of her thing
it's like all right
you kind of like the supercars okay which makes sense as a kid you know um but
anyway uh that was
sort of my weekend so we drove up there i had no idea i just wanted her to see
the coast
and see some seals and stuff like that and uh but it was wild that weather up
there
like you'd be in like downtown monterey and it'd be like hot as hell like why
did i bring a sweatshirt
and then you'd go like four miles north of that and it would be completely fogged
in
like down to the ground like shut up shut down the airport level like the
middle of the day craziest
weather um i had been around you know like every place i go to like hey you don't
like the weather
stick around for a minute everybody thinks they have the craziest weather um i've
heard people say
that in every accent in every part of you don't like the weather hang around a
minute um
everybody yeah everybody thinks that they have the craziest weather i will say
that that
as far as like aviation goes like that was fucking terrifying unless you have
an instrument rating i
don't think i would fly in that area first of all when i was going up there the
wind was fucking nuts
and uh yeah and then like every day i was there it would be like totally clear
and then out of nowhere
this marine layer would come in and it would come in really fast and it would
be all the way down to the ground
um i don't know there has to be other airports further inland because i know it
was probably
like sunny as hell and 30 degrees warmer i don't know what but it seemed like
big boy to me
um anyway i am babbling here because i just got off just got back from the road
so
my brain's a little frazzled um
i'll tell you what was funny was last night i was considering i was considering
just driving back
um because i was thinking like well we kind of did everything now we're just
sort of hanging out and
i'm gonna go to sleep and then i'll have that whole drive in front of me why
don't i just drive back
now and then i was like this is literally this i i realized like this is all
part of because all the
fucked up shit that happened to me when i was a kid like i can't sit still and
then i was like no i'm
gonna fucking we're gonna hang out we're gonna watch the sunset
we're gonna you know play some board games we're gonna get eight hours sleep we're
gonna order
breakfast we're gonna casually walk to the car and then we're gonna leave and
whenever we get back
is when we get back and uh that's what we did ended up finding this insane
playground on the way up there
that has all like that ninja gym stuff and uh my daughter was like this is the
best playground i've ever
been to lost hills california we stopped at that playground on the way up and
on the way back um
it was friggin incredible um
yeah it was just it was a great time it was a great time sort of like the last
big blowout of the summer and i was really glad that i got to do that
um because i can't believe how fast this summer went by
i was doing that gig i did a gig for the patriots uh in june
and a few days later was like the last day of school for my kiddo and that
seems like
it seems like a month ago forget about uh over two months ago so um
i know this is the time of year i try to get in as much dad time as i can
because once they go to
school you know it is what it is uh although i don't know what's going on in in
the world of
parenting this year i've had more parents tell me like oh my god i can't wait
for him to go back to
school um i'm thinking the opposite i love when they when they don't have
school because then i don't
have to get up you know get them ready and do all of that we can all just kind
of you know they're
i feel like they're on stand-up comedian hours
works out good for me and speaking of sorry for yelling speaking of stand-up
comedian uh
hours uh i had some dates go on sale i'm gonna be in gay paris gay paris uh
va was it vander
vontoire got october uh october 22nd 23rd and 24th at the apollo theater uh it's
gonna be on sale
tomorrow tuesday august august august 20th tickets at billbird.com um this is
the first time i'm ever
doing shows in france uh the entire show is going to be in french just to let
you know okay i can't
speak french but i just think i'm going to go there three nights in a row and
just butcher their language
no i'm going to be doing it in english i'm going to around in french in between
um it's going to be a
great time and uh i am really looking forward to that and i've already taught
kenny how to say hello
and uh okay in french very easy you know bonjour d'accord now some french do
