Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-22-24 | Bill Burr w. Tommy Tiernan
Uploaded: 2024-08-22T18:06:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-22-24 | Bill Burr w. Tommy Tiernan' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-22-24 | Bill Burr w. Tommy Tiernan' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-22. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-22-24 | Bill Burr w. Tommy Tiernan

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for Thursday afternoon, just
before Friday,
Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you, seeing how your week's
going. Now,
obviously, I always say whenever I film, it means I have a special guest look
at me. I sort of
dressed up a little bit, looking like I'm getting my picture taken in grade
school, you know, one
of these with one of those. My guest today comes all the way from the Falkland
Islands.
No, no. Diego Tiernan. Yes, from Ireland, one of the greatest comedians Ireland's
ever
produced, one of the greatest comedians in the world. Tout le monde. Tout le
monde. Tout
le monde, monsieur. Please welcome to the podcast, Mr. Tommy Tiernan. How are
you?
Comme la zone est sur la branche. Good night. I'm amazed at your fluency. My
fluency of what?
Just ignorance. I don't know where you find the words, man. I don't know how
you do that.
Let me ask you, what is the, what is the Irish feeling, I'm going to guess, on
the French?
All right? I'm going to guess. You hate the English. The English hate the
French. So maybe
you like the French because they annoy the English. No, no, no. Fuck. Yeah, not
even close. Not even
close. You think everybody are cunts? No, we have a thing of, when we were
being oppressed by the
English, we flew, the rich people flew to France. It's called the flight of the
earls. When all the
great noble men and women of, I think the 1600s, the English were coming, so
they said, let's get the
fuck out of here. And they all went to France. And they stayed there. So there'd
be, there would be deep,
old bone connection between the French and the Irish. But it's not even, it's
not, it's not current.
No, I get it. So like the guys who were probably in bed with the English
probably got a warning that
they were coming. And then they went off to, with their mistress. Yeah, but
that's acceptable in
France. Yeah. No, no, no, not, not, not the guys who were in cahoots with
English. The, the poets who
would have been killed by the English, the kind of, they left. Yeah. Um, I
think you said, when you said
the earls, that sounded like the earls, the dukes, that sounded like. Yeah, but
they were
kind of, there was kind of, the, the aristocracy of talent. Left. Well, you
left out, you left
out the talent part. That was a misdirection. That was, I thought, I took that
as a taken.
You did, I, well, I never, in what world. Am I explaining everything? In what
world is,
is a poet, you know, in high society making a lot of money? Oh, come on. Oh,
that's Ireland,
the magical Emerald Isle. Back in the day. Oh, you love a limerick, right?
Back in the day, the poet was, was that, was part of the, the king's court.
Back in the
day, the, you know, though. Does that mean like his entourage? Uh, like his, um,
do you
know the way now that a president has. Cabinet. Yeah. One, one of them would
have been a poet
back in the day. Back in the 1600s. Well, no wonder they fucking came in and
took over
your country. No. Was he making rhymes about what they were doing to you guys?
No, no, no,
no, no. It's, it's, it's, this is a, uh, an old fashioned way of being in the
world.
Do you want to hear something embarrassing? No, no. I want to finish this. Oh,
sorry. So our
poets left. Our fine poets, our earls. And we call it the flight of the earls.
It's like
your rappers. It's beautiful. All the rappers have gone to Mexico. So they all,
they all took
off. But did that, did that surprise you? They're not fighters. It surprised me.
I mean,
there's no people. I don't know. We were so downtrodden. We were so, our only.
Did you lost your earls of poetry? Yeah. Our only refuge was the spoken word.
Really. And
music and drink. And to this day, some Irish people aren't great at
architecture or, you
know, uh, any of the obvious hallmarks of empire. We're good at talking and we
love
laughing and we love music and drinking and singing and crying and fighting. So
you guys basically get life. We're white Mexicans of Europe. No, but you, you
know
what it, what life is about. Wait a minute. Mexicans are great at construction.
Are
they? Fantastic. Anything you need built from a fucking car rebuilt. They'll
swap out
an engine. Yeah. I, I, I use a lot of old, old tropes that don't hold water,
but I think
that we, uh, it was because we had no choice. That's, that's why we, you know,
are like that.
It's not like we had a, we had to choose between, um, you know, being masters
of the world and
being, being singers. We had no choice. We had no money. So where does spirit
come out when
you have no money? When you got nothing, what do you do? And you're in a hut
and someone says,
I've made this kind of, over here, you get a gun and you start robbing people.
But back then you kind of,
look, I've, I've made this drink from rain and tears and, and old potatoes. Let's
fucking drink
and see what happens. And then somebody would make a fiddle out of an old cat.
And they'd start.
And that was our culture for 800 years. And meanwhile, England was building
warships. What
is their problem, by the way? It infects people, doesn't it? Empire infects.
Well, that's what we,
we're, we're like, you know, what's funny is I was doing, I do a bit about this
where like
people like over here who aren't white will ask like white people, what do you
do? Where's your
culture? And like, we don't really have an answer for that. And we don't
understand that
we're not white. We don't understand that we're like, generally speaking, I
mean, we know that
we're from Europe, but we don't really think about it. When you go over Europe,
there's all these different, you know, white cultures and all that. But we came
over here
and what England always does is they take all of that away. And it's like, act
like us. And then
you can move up the ladder. So now, after all these hundreds of years, now we
just wander around
like Best Buys and Applebee's. And we get excited about other races, holidays,
like Cinco de Mayo
and all of that, because, you know, you got racial, tribal jealousy. No, what
we have,
no, what was, was this big sort of lie that, hey, you're white too. So you can
ascend up and you can
also get a castle. And that's not what happened. You got a cubicle. Yeah, you
got a cubicle and your
grandparents didn't teach your parents the language or any of the cuisine or
any of that, because
being an immigrant, you got a ton of shit. Whoever's the latest people that
came over, Italians, Irish,
whatever, you know, they used to have the Nina laws, no Irish need apply. Yeah.
Yeah. WAP was without papers, all of that type of shit. So, you know, most of
them, Italians didn't to
their credit, but most of us got rid of all of that stuff. And, uh, or it wasn't
taught to you
because they wanted you to be American, which was to basically act like the
British. Then we kicked the
British out. And then we were sort of left with these robber barons that are
considered the founding
fathers and are looked upon. You know, I'm not saying they're 100% bad or good,
but like, they sort of
just got rid of the, they use, you know, the working class to, to fight the
English, get them out.
And then they, once they got them out, they just moved into their big houses
and now they run Amazon
and, and Netflix and shit. They seem distant though, don't they? Those guys,
the founding fathers,
they seem like they're like, it's hard to find a through line between you and a
founding father.
They're just, they're like, they're like. Well, it also depends like when your
bloodline came over here,
because people have just constantly been coming over here. So, I mean, most of
us,
when the founding fathers were here, we're not here. Yeah. You know, uh,
Or did the Burr's come Scottish or something or Irish or like English, but on,
on
somebody's side in my family, we do trace it back to the revolutionary war. We
do have somebody that
fought in the revolutionary war. We got some of the fought in the civil war. So
we do have a few,
uh, somebody did it in my family. I forget who, but like, but generally
speaking, I'm mostly German,
German, but then we have like Burr's I think is either English or Scottish. I
don't know what it is.
Oh wow.
I like English, Scottish,
Irish, French, Dutch, German. I got all of this. And I'm just like, you know, I'm
a mongrel.
I was talking to somebody about this the other day about old, old music, you
know, about, uh,
that we have tunes in Ireland that go back
hundreds and hundreds of years and songs that go back hundreds of years. So
when you're singing the song,
you're kind of reminded of an attitude that was in the country all that time
ago,
you can kind of inherit it. And I said to him, what's the American version of
that?
What's your...
Oh, uh, that would be...
But he was saying, he was saying to me, it was rock and roll.
Blue out of flip-flop.
Wasting away again in Margaritaville is the closest thing we...
No, he was, he was going, it was one for the money, two for the show.
That's, that's, that's American version.
Yeah, but that wasn't, that was like, that was...
But I mean, it is, but it's also like...
You ain't nothing but a...
That's American culture, isn't it?
No.
The white culture?
Well, I mean, it is, it's stuff that happened, but it's, it's like, it's really
like...
This, it's, this, this, it's impossible to sit here and try to explain to you
what this country is.
Because you have the propaganda of what it is,
and then you have the extreme views of what people think it is,
and then somewhere in there, you have what it is.
Which is indefinable and not one thing.
It isn't.
So like, there's a lot of people that look like all of that Elvis, Jerry Lee
Lewis shit,
and they'll be like, oh, you just took that from black people and the da da da
da da.
And it's like influenced by black people and then went in a completely
different direction.
Sure.
And it sounds nothing like them.
But the problem with white people is we don't give them credit.
Had we given them credit, then people could look at Elvis more in a way of like,
if you watch the Elvis story, like he is like the original,
like every single fucking mistake that musicians and performers try to avoid.
Yeah.
They learned initially from a guy like him.
He did every single one of them.
He was a teen idol.
He made the mistake of getting old, right?
He didn't.
And there was no roadmap on how to do that.
He had a crooked manager.
Yeah.
He got involved in these stupid fucking movies he didn't want to do.
He got involved in drugs.
He married an underage, whatever, a young chick.
He fucking did a residency in Vegas, which is just the death of your career.
You can only spend so much so long out there before people just forget you.
Yeah, they just forget you.
What else?
And then he got hooked on drugs.
He got a fucking entourage.
No one knew how to do an intervention.
And this fucking guy dies on a toilet at 42.
None of that needed to happen.
But nobody knew.
And then the next generation, you watch Jimmy and Jimi Hendrix and
who Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, John Bonham, Keith Moon.
And then that's when they're starting to realize like, hey, man,
like this stuff doesn't help your creativity.
Yeah.
You know, and also there was a whole bunch of starlets.
Like I watch a bunch of old movies and I got this morbid thing where I'll
watch and just see how much of the cast is still alive.
I don't know why I do that.
Like half me, I'm going to IMDB.
Oh, look at her, 96, still kicking.
But the amount of people that died for, especially women.
Yeah.
Female actresses that died.
Female actresses.
Female actors.
You're not supposed to say actress anymore because that's some big fucking
insult.
I just don't understand that.
I'm not offended.
Okay.
You're not good.
Actresses that died from like an accidental overdose because back then they
didn't understand
that, you know, they'd be like.
What kind of drugs were they taking?
They were downers.
So they were just going like, you know