Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-29-24 | Bill Burr w. Nate Craig
Uploaded: 2024-08-30T17:08:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-29-24 | Bill Burr w. Nate Craig' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-29-24 | Bill Burr w. Nate Craig' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-30. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-29-24 | Bill Burr w. Nate Craig

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before
friday monday monday morning podcast just before friday monday morning podcast
i screwed it up and
i'm just checking in on you just checking in on you i'm checking in on you i
don't know where i'm
going here um and you know if i video that means i have a very special guest
and this is this is
one of the biggest guests i've had ladies and gentlemen the lead singer of the
red hot chili
peppers we have anthony ketis here bam bam right there he's got a new uh white
funk album coming
out you know were you talking about banging the chicks there haircut mustache
yeah with the scar
tissue it's nate craig everybody what's up nate craig um nate craig how do you
do this with the
tape delay on the monitor this is you know what you learn like you learn to
block it out you can do
that i don't look i sort of like glance at the big the big light up there this
i gotta find okay
that's a good it'll be all right i'll look at the light i'll look into the
light so nate not only are
you one of the best joke writers in the business you're a hell of a hockey
player good looking son
of a bitch you have astronaut haircut all right i cut it myself cut it yourself
yeah what do you use
just uh clippers two guard one guard and then no guard i try to i that's why i
got it started during
the pandemic yes yeah yeah had to get you you you got laughing and you don't
have to describe that's
like kennedy hair well you think they would have gone bald had they lived
longer if they had they
lived to 200 well it's always weird when a guy with a like really fucking thick
hair then all of a
sudden it always goes back here and then you're like what happened well that's
what happened to
scott walker the old governor of wisconsin and then he's his and then you know
when he started he
tried to run for president he said he he went balding back because he hit his
head on a door
that's what he said he said he hit his head on the on a ceiling or like a door
frame and people were
like i guess that's i guess that's what happened no that's you know what that
was somebody in his camp
got in his head and was saying there's never been a bald president you got to
have a reason for that
you got to go back to eisenhower yeah eisenhower was the last president who who
oh ford but ford
kind of like the guy nixon got impeached hold up biden and trump are both bald
let's be clear about
this they are not bald trump is bald as a fucking refrigerator repairman he was
he got a system now
he's got the system and biden he's a billionaire why would he still stick with
the comb over he had
the comb over he's it was the greatest it was the greatest comb over ever he's
not a billionaire
that's why he's running for president again so that the taxpayers got to pay
for his makeup and hair
how much think he got he got paid to go get fired he got a little money there
he gets points he gets
he definitely he's had casinos he definitely deposits his checks his residual
checks
all right well whatever i'm saying you know this like they were both bald there's
been bald presidents
but you got it biden's but can i be honest with you i don't think i've watched
biden the whole four
years he's been in there you got it just got hair plugs and the the the backup
quarterback who's now
running for president i i don't know if you told me that they were doing a cosby
show reunion and she
was one of the little girls that all grew up i would have been all right i have
no idea what the i don't
remember uh trump's vice president pence pence let's do this oh this david we
got some trivia
because you're kind of a politics guy let's let's go oh don't quiz oh then biden
biden was obama
biden was obama cheney was bush that's right slow down slow down and al gore al
gore dan quail
my turn al gore remember that hw bush my turn all right my my turn was when he
said that george bush
when he came walking over and george bush had the greatest fucking reaction to
it he did like double
take like what the fuck and then the whole crowd laughed and then al didn't
know what to do so then
he just went ho ho ho dude it was like it was like pinocchio it was like he was
made out of wood
that guy was like yeah and then there was the kiss with his wife at the dnc
that was that was a kind
of a you know what the word my favorite al gore moment was was after he kind of
knew he was losing
the election when he was just a sweaty mess on the dance floor like he just was
finally like i can just
fucking be who when was that this was uh the night of the yeah i remember i
remember him dancing he was
sweating through his shirt like he had done molly or something and he was just
like i think just the
fucking pressure of first of all he was under clinton all those years and clinton
just had his
dick out eight years and he was with uh that his wife there tipper right tipper
who did she didn't
even like heavy metal albums forget about free willie running down the halls of
office so he had to sit
there like probably every day talking her down like you should walk out we're
we're the gores we're above
these clintons right and then he did not help just hang in there one of the
biggest mistakes he ever
made was he did he didn't use clinton to help to help him he should have
brought clinton clinton is the
teflon dawn you can't get him yeah they they got scared off by that blowjob
scandal dude the amount of
women that still love that guy is on is unbelievable he's great he nailed it he
did you hear him at the
dnc when you listen to trump talk don't don't count the what is he he said don't
count the eyes
don't count the lies count the eyes he's talking about how trump only talks
about himself it was
perfect no it wasn't it was perfect no it wasn't it absolutely was dude bill i'm
telling you bill
shouldn't even be speaking i'm telling you host me to liberals you fucking guy
you said you tossed it
to me with women still love that guy i said why i gave you an example of a line
i liked and now
you're fucking flipping the card table no no because you're liking him i do
like listening to him talk
yeah i think he i think he nails it guy the guy he's just unbelievable oh yeah
you should run
dead bodies dick out like he like every fucking thing that that like all all
like all the left was
like against abusive power all that this guy just right down the fucking box i'm
not gonna have you
he's he's in the hall he got in the on pete rose if you're coming to me to get
mad about a guy getting
a blowjob in the oval office you're coming to the wrong guy listen don't don't
confuse passion with
anger i'm a very passionate man i came on i wore a lavender sweater you know
with a t-shirt
underneath on a very hot day i think because i wanted to look respectable
because i think that's
your brand because you passion as anger passion fruit is what i am is because
you come from the
heartland where you guys put on your dairy pants one leg at a time this guy
knows where to get the
best fucking malt right there's a lot of options a lot of options one of my
favorite things about
doing the road we haven't even talked about what a great comedian you are i
mean it's ridiculous
likewise bill i've been telling people about how good you are at stand-up
comedy
people need to know you when i when i let you close for me on my shows you bang
it out i know and
my show at the hollywood bowl yeah i was i didn't know if you had what these
people wanted oh the
first guy to perform at the acropolis in greece that is true put it on my tombstone
he opened
and who was there a few days earlier the great the great woody allen woody
allen woody allen
you're open you open with uh what about r kelly when does r kelly play this
place who do you guys
booking here next yeah you got r kelly coming in friday how hey it's a
democracy oh my god that place
was incredible wasn't i completely fro after all over the heads of those people
there's 4 000 people
and the most beautiful i mean the best sounding theater i've ever stepped foot
in made in 151 ad
this is the odeon of herodes atticus if you ever go there the locals call it
the herodion
and over the top they just sold the name though it's it's the bill shakespeare.com
it's the it's
the wells fargo the wells fargo wells fargo at the william shakespeare fucking
something acropolis
the washington mutual herodion yeah so he's been all brought to you by he sweated
out three days in
dubai before we did uh uh what the prog no not prog what we didn't do dubai we
did the other city oh
yeah abu dhabi abu dhabi abu dhabi abu dhabi abu dhabi and the whole time we
were sitting there
freaking out reading stories about people just holding hands over there and
going to jail for a
year like why the fuck are we here but it ended up being the greatest right the
royals came out
it was fun the crowd was fun we met his highness yeah we met royalty out there
doing our shit jokes
yeah they really keep you on pins and needles though no but then they ended up
being cool it was
basically you can say whatever you want as long as you don't shit on us they
were cool what would they
say russell peters had to write an apology letter yeah to the royal family i
mean i'm a little lighter
than russell peters i thought i was going to get in trouble are you though i
mean i i wouldn't have
not my heart if anybody had to write an apology letter i would say it would be
bill burr
i would love to read your apology letter to the royal family of abu dhabi let
me tell you something
right now if if they wanted a fucking apology and that got me back to america i
would fucking whatever
they i'd write it in pink crayon i wouldn't give a shit get me out of here
i ended up having a great time i would definitely go back they they said to
come back for uh that f1
race we got to do it just not in august that's what i told him i said not no i'm
gonna buy one
of those uh it was brutal i don't imagine it gets much better though it was you
don't think so what
was it like 110 in the shade no we do we were there in august it was hot like
inside of you it's kind
of heat you feel in your throat oh you know what it was it was like one of
those you know those
the those new saunas that fucking the ocean wasn't even they they hope you they
heat you from the
inside out like a like a uh set it and forget it what's that i did some sort of
what's that some
sort of twenty thousand dollar sauna you're thinking about having put in your
garage no it's the one i
went to look at you resenting my shit joke i just i just didn't i just didn't
know i get it i got i
you're right i was defensive i was defensive because i didn't know about the
the thing that
you were talking this is why i don't take them on the road all the time i haven't
even heard of that
thing that you just said so they used to have like a dry sauna which was
fantastic so then the
corporate guys are like hmm is there a way that we can make this more cost
efficient that might be
not detrimental to the people's health but we don't care because we have enough
money to beat them in
court what if we did this infrared thing and what it does is it heats you from
the inside like a
microwave yeah i've heard of that so i showed up oh billy flip-flops ready to
go and then like yeah
it's like oh you don't have a regular no it's like infrared i go is that safe
and as i god some
fucking you know instagram idiot and i went in there i just did not i never did
it again i did not feel
right i'm only guy i ever met take a bath and a laser gun i'm the only guy i
ever met got heated
from the inside and fucking sound i live to tell about um so you have a special
live at the green mill
that you shot in chicago chicago at the green mill yeah right yeah and it was
such a hot set
other people started recording there they had to record there as well they said
i gotta have it they
were like the mojo's there the juice is there where can they uh it's on the atc
youtube channel
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