Name: Fiancée Wants To Invite Ex To Wedding | the Monday Morning Podcast
Uploaded: 2024-09-24T20:04:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fiancée Wants To Invite Ex To Wedding | the Monday Morning Podcast' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fiancée Wants To Invite Ex To Wedding | the Monday Morning Podcast' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-24. Transcript available.

Oh, it's wedding season, everybody.
Jesus.
Hey there, Billy Red Tits.
Huge fan, really enjoyed your consistency
of being one of the funniest people on this planet.
Well, thank you so much.
My fiance wants to invite an ex-boyfriend
to our small intimate wedding.
No, no.
They dated for almost a year,
and from what I know, they had a great time together.
Small fact, he's a virgin and is waiting until marriage.
All right, so he's a fucking school shooter.
Get this, no, fuck this guy.
The guy is almost 40, so I don't believe
that she's lying to cover up them sleeping together.
I just have a strange feeling about him.
Guess what?
So do I.
I have a strange feeling about him being there,
seeing how this will be close family and a few friends.
Is that weird, or am I overthinking it?
Would love to get your advice.
Continue being the badass, bald ginger cunt you are.
Loyal fan, thank you.
Yeah, no, fuck that guy.
Just say, listen, I don't want your weirdo,
40-year-old virgin school shooter friend.
It doesn't make sense.
This is just close friends and fucking whatever.
Family.
This guy's obviously gay.
Just tell him to go down to P-Town
and go lose his fucking virginity already.
No fucking guys wait until he's 40.
No guys with a hormone for a year and he doesn't bang her.
He's gay.
He's fucking gay.
He's gay.
And there's nothing we can do about it, all right?
It was just some greaseball shit.
Some real greaseball shit.
That's my favorite line in Guns N' Roses.
In fucking Goodfellas.
When Tommy gets whacked and then Henry goes,
yeah, it was some real greaseball shit.
Yeah.
Just say, listen, I don't want your gay ex-boyfriend.
And just stick with that.
Just say, listen, I want to have a happy life with you
and we have to be able to communicate
and I have to feel like I'm being heard.
And I am telling you right now,
I don't want your gay ex-40-year-old virgin boyfriend.
Okay?
Go get him a fucking gym membership
in a metropolitan area
and nature will follow its course, right?
It'll all fucking happen in the steam room.
You know?
Everybody knows that.
No, fuck that.
I wouldn't have him there.
Boyfriend turning into a...
That's such a douchey fucking thing to do.
I got to tell you something right now.
Inviting an ex-boyfriend or a girlfriend
to a wedding is a fucking...
at very least petty fucking thing to do.
Like, your wife is going like,
ha-ha, fuck you.
This guy married me.
There's something going on there.
There's some sort of unresolved shit
and it's not fair.
Like, what kind of a guy could have
a fucking ex-girlfriend
that he used to fucking bend over
the goddamn couch at his fucking wedding?
Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
Women are so out of line
with the fucking ex-boyfriends.
It's a fucking double standard.
No ex-gay 40-year-old virgin
fucking guy at your wedding.
Fuck that.
That's one of the easiest fucking questions
I've ever had.
All right?
And good luck to that ex-gay 40-year-old.
I hope he fucking finds the boyfriend
he's been waiting for.
Uh...
And that's it.
Go fuck yourselves.
And yeah,
no ex-boyfriends,
girlfriends at weddings.
Um...
If you're thinking about getting married,
that's something that should be said early on.
No ex-boyfriends,
no ex-girlfriends at this wedding.
You say it early on
before it's a fucking issue.