Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-17-24 | Bill Burr w. Keith Urban
Uploaded: 2024-10-18T01:15:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-17-24 | Bill Burr w. Keith Urban' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-17-24 | Bill Burr w. Keith Urban' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-18. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-17-24 | Bill Burr w. Keith Urban

all right hey what's going on everybody it's bill bird it's time for the thursday
afternoon
just before friday what a camera we look at monday monday morning podcast and i'm
just checking in
on you and as always if we film it that means we have a special guest and that
yes we do we have a
very special guest here i even brought notes wow look at me like fucking tom
brokaw or uh who's
that guy who's that guy barbara walters brian gumbel no one knows what he's
writing nope um this guy as
far as i counted has been nominated for 19 grammys won six which is an
incredible average four but i'll
take it four yeah i'll take six i like six well look at all you know it's way
better look at all
your awards all of that one that looks like the canadians in the 50s um he's
got a new album out
called hi um i'm not gonna say who his wife is i don't know why that's on here
and he's married
to so and so please welcome keith urban everybody thank you bill how are you
gosh you're looking in
good shape oh thank you we were just talking about how both of us slouch and no
matter what shape no
matter what shape i get into i look like i'm 40 pounds overweight and then
everybody calls me billy
tits billy fucking this billy that it's never complimentary you know and i i
can take are
you good with your posture in general it's hard right i've gotten better right
i've gotten better
so what i'm full of it i had like uh no you know it's got it because what
everything's like internal
rotation driving being at the computer you know you that's true yeah so what
happens is your shoulders
and then everybody you know the ego stuff your bench your curl all the shit you
can see you don't
work on your back so what happens is your back it's stronger than the front
this is what i learned
through having rotator cuff issues um your shoulders end up coming in like that
so what i've what i you
know what i i've taken you ever see old asian guys when they walk they walk and
they have their hands
behind their back like that like they're pondering something right and i'm
thinking like no they they're
like this brings your shoulder see look at that there's there's the pecs wow i
fucking sit like
this you went from bitch tits yeah you went from bitch tits to pecs that's
right i did it just took
posture if i would just sit like this i don't let money at the gym and just
stood better i know if i
if i did this on my podcast people would accuse me of being on testosterone
which would is is my goal
or being an old asian man one of the two probably don't get that very much well
i this is what
fascinates me about what you do is like comedians like oh you're doing a tour
like i go out and i come
back like three four days later when you go out you're like out nope no no
because it says it says
until august according to my sheet here yeah which was not supposed to be any
lies august 28th is how
long this tour is going yeah but i mean i do a few shows and then go home do a
few shows go home so i'm
probably going three days in a row oh okay yeah what about back in the day back
in yeah i'd be going for
weeks and months australia highway to hell right well yeah the whole middle of
the country yeah you're
going forever there's nothing in between what's the longest tour you ever been
australia yeah i was
going to bring that up we'll bring it last time i've been there a number of
times um i am terrified
of the ocean but the beaches are so gorgeous it's the only time in my life i
felt drawn and i even went
there in the winter time yeah and i was just winter time for you guys anyway
and i was like i was like
i have to go in that water and it was all like it was it was so rough it was
like foamy um but i was still
thinking i need to do it so when i went out to perth i actually just to go in
the indian ocean but
i've been there like four or five times i haven't been there since i had kids
it's been real tough to
try to get back there but the last time i went there was australia day oh wow
and um you know
usually where you when you travel as an american you go to a country and you're
like oh man we're such
meatheads why don't we do this this way that way australia day was the only
time i ever went to a
country being like all right we're not that bad we're not the only ones because
the level
of drunk meathead and also the amount of el caminos that you guys still have
out there it was like the
70s again everybody looked like a weed dealer yep and uh yeah it was 14 hours
to get to sydney and
then it was another brutal six to get all the way out to perth yeah and it was
it was still going on
oh it was gorgeous yeah it's because it's in the middle of nowhere that's why
yeah i kind of felt
like that was like the galway of uh yes of australia yeah and little when i was
still drinking the
little creatures beer uh-huh was my favorite and they had the brewery was there
and so was bon scott's
grave and i've seen perth yeah i didn't know that yep they have a statue of
them and i took a picture
of that and i went to his grave and uh it was kind of weird people had all like
left booze bottles
there and that's like what killed them which i thought was weird enough and
then someone had
put a miller genuine draft which is one of the worst fucking beers ever but i'm
thinking all right
it's australia it's an import maybe they think it's fancy but this is this is
swill like bon
wouldn't drink this man they had all those hit albums i'm sure he was he was
drinking something
better than that it's odd that they leave all the booze around there isn't it
it's a twisted
yeah it's a twisted honor it's yeah it's like well you know you're sort of like
he's like it was a
cartoon character they didn't realize that was somebody's son that was somebody's
best friend or
something like that like you would never do that one of the greats yeah i mean
really was if somebody
you know was just like a plumber if he fucking you know death by misadventure
as they say you
wouldn't whatever his misadventure was you would not leave that at his grave no
bunch of ladders
lying around yeah people today you wouldn't put oxy a little thing like a
prescription pill
things yeah bless his heart so um yeah no bond bond is uh that's what i was
surprised to hear about
you being a country artist is uh that that you actually were into metal and all
of that type i
guess that makes sense right in the position you listen to everything yeah
especially coming up in
the clubs in australia oh okay i mean that's the only places to play so they're
rough places well
what was that like playing uh how does country music do over in australia well
i mean i grew up
playing country music because my dad's record collection was all american
country music so i
they were they were all the records i grew up listening to okay all american
country artists like
merle haggard or merle haggard johnny cash waylon jennings you know willie um
charlie pride all of them
uh and so i just learned those songs when i was picking up guitar because i was
gonna ask you that
that's amazing to me that someone that far away i guess we will that's it
shouldn't be because people
play all the great so many great rock bands came out of australia um so i guess
it's like whatever
appeals to you but i do find it funny that you play country music and you're an
immigrant yeah you know
so how does the fan get confused like do your show but then get the fuck out of
my country
no wait a minute he's singing about gravel roads this guy's all right or
whatever
um it took a minute to get accepted i'll tell you that much so how what did you
have you had to
did you have to kiss the ring so to speak did you have to go to the grand opry
you definitely need to
let the tribe know that you're the real deal and that you're there for the long
haul okay you know
how did all those tattoos during do do during when they were i didn't have most
of these when i was
trying to get in the door oh okay i didn't have any of them actually because it
was like a big family
values thing i always felt bad for country singers where like rock stars were
expected
to just be totally debaucherous and then there was this whole period i feel
like in the 90s and that
type of stuff where you had to be like squeaky clean yeah like the osmond
family yeah you guys were
you know it's so weird because the the genre doesn't have it's got a history of
george jones
and johnny cash and wylin jennings and complete screw-ups absolutely absolutely
so how did you guys
how did you guys handle that did you just like sneak around doing whatever you
were doing handle what
being what well like you want to like fucking party and bang groupies and be a
you're you're a rock
star you're just singing country music but then you had to also be like i go to
bed at a fucking
eight o'clock and you know i drink milk in the morning in america here's the
flag like how did
you guys wait you know without divulging too much how did you have your fun i
earned i definitely
benefited from the fact that i was pre uh pre iphones pre uh pre old app pre
social media
yeah all my all my craziness was pretty much pre social media so i was really
lucky i was like
a total like loner like stay away from me kind of guy so right um where do you
get that from
uh oh traumatic childhood yeah just abuse that's all it was so then you just
sort of learned
after a while that hey if i'm alone you know this shit kind of stops yeah so
then you kind of feel
uh safe being alone and then you just stay that way yeah until about 38 and
then you kind of go like
everybody else is like married with like a 12 year old and uh i'm still fucking
sitting here on a futon
like what is what is going on well i wasn't 30 i was a little bit younger than
that when i i uh
met my wife how the hell old was i can't remember like 36 or something like
that but it was like late
in the game right and um when i would go back to my hometown and you know if i
would run into
somebody and see their lady you know they had a house they had like a fucking
minivan and like
three kids and yeah they're organized well they had they had moved past adolescence
and that's kind
of like like i ran into this guy the other day that i started out with and he
never got married or
anything like that and he's like dude i still feel young i mean i feel like i'm
like
you never got married never had kids he's like i feel like i'm in this extended
adolescence and it's
like well you are yeah you are i mean i'm not good or bad i'm not judging it
but it's just like because
i i did that long enough where i was just like i got bored with it i'm like
right i you know i would
like to get up and have some sort of responsibility yeah other than trying to
figure out you know what
where am i gonna i don't know go have a beer today i mean i was literally you
know waking up at
like 10 in the morning and waiting till 8 o'clock at night to do stand-up yeah
it was bad i was just
yeah and then i got into like writer's block and all of that that type of stuff
where i was i'm
going to ask you about that as a songwriter when you get into writer's block if
you have you've been
doing it long enough do you have any tricks to sort of pull yourself out of the
mud when you're just
like oh god i keep writing about the same stuff or i don't feel i'm not i don't
got nothing new you
know um i i you play drums so playing helps let's be i'm a i'm a guitar center
dad drummer anyway i sit
down and i play when the levee breaks you can and then some people can't play
that sounds good man
you got a lot of bottom in you
i'm just being honest i'm not going to sit here with a professional but anyway
i'm good for a dad
that tells jokes with two kids you've got an outlet separate right comedy right
yes so you can go and
release a bit of your eyes out there and see if that gets a little flow going
right so for me it's
it's not too dissimilar i'll just do some other thing to get some flow going i
think for me just
like what what's your thing i migh