Name: Getting Recognized, Hecklers, Tall People | Monday Morning Podcast 4-28-25 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-04-28T18:54:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Getting Recognized, Hecklers, Tall People | Monday Morning Podcast 4-28-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Getting Recognized, Hecklers, Tall People | Monday Morning Podcast 4-28-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-28. Transcript available.

Getting Recognized, Hecklers, Tall People | Monday Morning Podcast 4-28-25 | Bill Burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday, April 28th, 2025.
What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? Oh, Billy in the bubble.
I have no idea what's going on in the fucking world. All I've been doing is
work, work, working.
I know the NBA and NHL playoffs are off and running. I know that the Boston Bruins,
the Pittsburgh Penguins, and the New York Rangers missed the playoffs for the
first time in the history of the NHL.
I watched a little bit of a Montreal Canadiens game last night against the Capitals.
Capitals tied it up late, 2-2.
Then I fell asleep. I watched a little bit of the Celtics. They had a nice back
and forth going on with whoever the fuck they were playing.
I already forget. Red Sox won big. I'm trying. Like, I have not seen sports
since, like, February when I started this thing, so I got to get back.
I mean, sports. I mean, come on. That's my identity. Like, if I can't talk
intelligently about sports, then who am I as a person?
What am I going to talk about? I honestly have not been able to name 99% of the
league since my kids were born.
It just, it was, like, it was a combination of the kids and the, um, the names
in all of sports got so fucking complicated.
And I'm talking, like, everything from, uh, like, that Key and Peele sketch all
the way to, uh, these hockey players from Finland.
I can't, I, you know, you, four fucking consonants in a row, I'm done.
You know? Or you just leave off the E and you just have an R. It's not E-R, it's
just R.
Then I'm like, okay, it's just, like, sound spelling. I don't give a fuck. I
still enjoy the games.
The TVs, my goodness, they're clearer than they've ever been.
Um, so I've just been, uh, I've just been doing that.
I have, the only thing I've been keeping up on, up on is MotoGP.
I missed the race yesterday. I am going to watch it.
I did, through Instagram, see that Alex Marquez won it.
Um, which is good, because it couldn't just be Mark Marquez, the whole fucking
thing.
So that's his second victory.
He won in, um, Spain this weekend, and then he also won Circuit of the Americas
in Austin, Texas.
Um, so I would think that that puts him well within striking distance,
because other than that, he was second place every race except for one.
One he finished, like, seventh or eighth.
But, uh, it's all about the Marquez brothers, man.
Um, I don't know if Mark crashed or whatever. I have no idea.
But, uh, it's, you know, it's cool seeing the younger brother get the better of
the older brother.
Um, brother. Can I say brother one more time?
Um, so anyway, my family's still in town, which is awesome.
Um, which is why this is going to be an abbreviated podcast.
I usually do an hour on Monday and a half hour on Thursday.
I'm inverting that this week.
I'm just going to talk some shit here for another 27 minutes,
and then I'm going to go out and be with my family.
Um, and then Thursday I'll be fucking Lonely Billy staring at a goddamn wall
again
by the time that comes around.
Um, so, uh, it'll be the usual.
It'll be the ush.
Um, anyway, I've been listening to some,
I've been listening to some really good fucking music lately.
Uh, what have you downloaded lately, Bill?
Let's see.
Uh, Digital Planets, Blowout Comb.
Um, and then I, I, this guy, Teddy Swims.
I've tried everything.
I downloaded that album.
I really liked that.
I was listening to this guy, Mike Brandt.
It was this big singer in France, but he was from Israel,
and he would sing a song in French,
and I was reading the French comments,
and there's still people going like,
he didn't even know what he was singing.
He couldn't even speak French.
He didn't even know what he was singing.
It's like, yeah, but he still brought this incredible emotion to it.
It's not like they didn't translate it before he did.
Just give it up.
Give it up.
He was a good-looking Israeli guy,
and he was banging your broads in fucking Paris.
And then he, he killed himself, for whatever reason.
Um, Depression, I'm guessing.
Uh, and then Swings the Thing,
Illinois Jack, Jacket, Jacket, J-A-C-Q-U-E-T,
and then Pieces of a Man, Gil Scott Heron.
Um, each one of those albums for different reasons.
And, you know, and I was also, um,
I was at the Comedy Village doing some stand-up the other night,
on Saturday night,
and they were playing some Ja Rule,
which I had not heard in a while.
And whenever, whenever that era of hip-hop,
um, Ja Rule, uh, Fabulous,
all of those New York guys,
that era, where my stand-up career was,
I was doing these rooms.
I used to call them the uptown rooms.
That's what the industry called them,
the uptown rooms.
It was the black clubs.
I was doing a lot of stand-up in there,
and I was always hearing that music.
And it was a really, like,
exciting time in my career,
because, um,
I learned so much doing those rooms.
I learned how to, like,
still be myself.
Can I, can I be
white as hell
from Canton, Massachusetts?
And I actually found,
because, you know,
it's kind of like the first time you go anywhere.
Like, oh my God,
I'm going to Canada.
Do I need to do jokes about hockey?
You know what I mean?
And you get outside yourself,
and then you're not doing well,
and then you kind of figure out
after a while, like,
no, I said,
just do what the fuck I do,
and I'll be fine.
So the first time I learned that
was in those rooms.
So whenever I hear those,
all of that shit,
Cisco, the thong song,
it was that era.
All of that music
always makes me smile.
Nelly, any of that shit,
when it comes,
because it was also, you know,
a lot of it was, uh,
was, you know,
sort of lighter, happier music,
even though, you know,
it's weird.
It was like some of the lyrics,
you know,
Ja Rule,
every other word,
he was talking about murder, right?
But, like,
the stuff he was rapping over
was really,
like, a pop sound.
I don't know.
Um,
I just remember
everybody wanted to have
the fucking
Lincoln Navigator
and the Escalade.
When that came out,
you had to have
this giant fucking SUV.
Um,
that was the shit.
And all the pretty girls
liked you.
And that's the way it was,
late 90s,
early 2000s.
So,
anyway,
uh,
this is a fucking
weird story.
Um,
this fucking lady
creeped me out.
Um,
I got in the elevator
and, uh,
it was me
and I think
two other people
and her.
So,
I'm in the back
of the elevator
staring straight forward.
She's
to my right
with her back
to the wall.
you know,
she's not
in the front
of the elevator.
She's on the side wall.
And I was standing there
and I heard like
this bing sound
and then she says
to me,
she goes,
is that you?
This fucking
creepy smile.
And I thought
she was talking
about the binging sound.
So,
I was like,
no,
no,
no,
I don't,
my cell phone,
you know,
doesn't make that noise
or whatever.
And then she just
sort of smiled
and rolled her eyes.
And then I realized
she recognized me
and was asking
if,
if,
I don't know.
I don't even know
if she knows my name.
Why didn't she just be like,
are you Bill Burr?
Who says,
is that you?
With a creepy smile
on the,
you say,
is that you
when you're fucking
home alone
and you hear somebody
coming to your house?
It's like,
is that you?
You know,
do I need to defend myself?
Who the fuck
says that in an elevator?
I am so happy
it wasn't just me
and her.
I would have been like,
ah,
like,
what the fuck?
Who are you?
Get away from me.
Excuse me.
Are you that comedian guy?
My favorite one I ever got.
What do the guys say?
He goes,
hey,
you're that guy from TV.
Yes,
I am.
I think,
there's a lot of us
and I just kept going.
Those ones are funny.
You that comedian guy?
Hey,
I know you.
Yeah,
all of those.
Fine.
Is that you?
You know what it reminded me of?
Do you remember
Beavis and Butthead?
When,
when he goes,
I see you have braces.
I have braces too.
It was like that vibe
in an elevator
with like three other
fucking people
anyway.
Anyway.
Um,
uh,
so,
yeah,
so I did some standup.
Um,
at,
at,
oh,
at,
uh,
at,
at the comedy village
and I was doing that bit
about joining,
uh,
my big gay gym.
so I was making fun of it
and there was these
two gay guys in the crowd
and they're like,
you joined a gay gym.
and I was like,
no,
I didn't.
I joined a gym.
It didn't say gay gym.
It just said a gym.
And what does that mean
it's a gay gym?
That means you can just
start fucking hooking up
in there?
What if there was
a gay Macy's?
Would you be having
a sword fight
over by the fucking
polo shirts?
What do we,
this is a place
of business.
so I had,
I had a good time
bringing them around
to what I was saying.
Um,
and then I ended
with this,
uh,
this story
about my kids.
So it ended up
coming around,
but it was a really
fun show
where,
uh,
you know,
people were
interactive,
yelling out
and doing all
of that stuff
and,
um,
you know,
I didn't realize
how much I missed that.
I mean,
um,
just,
you know,
I don't know.
I just got busy
and I hadn't done stand-up
in like a week
or something like that.
It's just a completely
different energy
than,
uh,
a crowd that came
to see a play.
Now,
the crowd that comes
to see the play,
I love that energy too,
but like,
it's a,
uh,
it's a different thing.
Um,
we did,
we do this thing
at the end of the show.
Um,
it ended on Saturday
for two weeks.
Um,
we do this thing,
Broadway Cares,
and they have us like
raise money
and they have like
props from the play
that you auction
off to the crowd.
It's really fun
and every night
a different cast member
was getting to do it
and, uh,
Bob Odenkirk
was doing the last one
and he was fucking
murdering.
It was like he was doing
a stand-up special.
He was killing.
And, um,
I saw this guy
come walk down
the aisle
and he was walking
super slow
and he was staring
right at Bob
and then sort of
got to his front row seat
and then just started
talking to Bob
as if the two of them
were just standing
on a street corner
and I immediately
immediately had like
this fucking
like visceral reaction
to this guy.
You know,
I'm like,
there he is.
There he is.
Every fucking show.
Every fucking,
watch this,
watch this.
This is gonna be
all about him
and then he's gonna
come downstairs
and we're gonna have
to meet this fucking guy
and he's gonna like
say all this weirdo shit,
right?
The narcissist,
right?
So he ends up like,
like, I don't know,
he started talking
so I finally just said,
I just go,
buddy,
I go,
this isn't about you.
There's an auction going on
and everybody immediately laughed
because they saw
the guy's behavior
and I said to the crowd,
I go,
this is one of my favorite
games in the world.
It's called
Find the Narcissist
and it fucking killed
and then two other people
outbid the guy
and I can't even tell you
like how relieved I was
having dealt with
narcissists
when I was growing up
because they always
fucking win.
The only way to win
is you have to walk
away from them
but this is like
a bidding thing
so he can control
but he ended up
tapping on,
they always,
it's like gum
on your fucking shoe.
You can't get rid of them.
You cannot get rid of them.
They want to be
the center of attention
and if they're not
the center of attention
then they're gonna create
some sort of fucking thing
where they then become
the center of attention
and everybody around
them who doesn't have
experience dealing with them
just feeds into it
and then they end up
being the center of attention
and it's been my whole
fucking life.
It drives me up
the fucking wall.
I want to be the center
of attention.
No, this isn't your moment
and then they pout
and they huff and puff
and do all of this fucking shit
and then somebody
invariably goes,
is everything okay?
and then the attention's
back on them again.
Drives me fucking insane
and so to watch this guy lose
because I already,
I just felt that
I was just going like,
this fucking asshole's
going to win
and he's going to come downstairs
and I don't know,
I don't know what's going to,
I just tell by his fucking jacket,
I don't want to hear it.
I just don't want
to fucking hear it.
Anyway, so unfortunately
two really nice people
came downstairs,
different groups