Name: Leg Day, NBA Playoffs, Drumming | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-15-25 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-05-15T19:02:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Leg Day, NBA Playoffs, Drumming | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-15-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Leg Day, NBA Playoffs, Drumming | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-15-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-15. Transcript available.

Leg Day, NBA Playoffs, Drumming | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-15-25 | Bill Burr

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you oh how's it going how
are ya
um all right getting through another another week here all by myself i'm not
gonna lie to you i am
other than when i'm doing the play which i'm loving and uh you know all of that
stuff but now um i
finished the second draft of this script which is that was the dream i'll be
like okay so i don't
have to work during the day and then do the play at night i can actually have
my days free and now
i literally i don't know what to do with myself just fucking i'm just you know
i just keep thinking
of that jim croce song i've seen so many faces i've run so many races something
like and they
were the not the nice guy and it's been so long since i have felt fine that's
the reason that i
gotta get out of here you hear that song i'm so alone don't you know that i
gotta get out of here
because new york's not my home when people bubble do right
ah jesus christ um you could go to a movie you could go walk in the park
um you could jump off a bridge there's all kinds of things to do here
um anyway i went to the big gay gym bgg i went to the big gay gym today did
legs i'm gonna tell you
something about those gay guys in the gym they do not skip leg day that's a
straight guy thing
all of us walking around with their big fucking you know trying to get a walberg
test uh fucking
torso and then we walk around with the pretzel rod legs not these gay dudes
they get the squats in
so i went over there today and uh it was actually not a lot of people in there
but there's always just
somebody on like the new thing at the gym is just the person on their phone in
between sets
this fucking guy was on what a leg machine i wanted to use in between sets you
know what do you
call the front of your quads that machine right he's sitting there with his
fucking legs crossed
you know like he's on a park bench
you want to be like dude people need to use that machine can you can you
fucking
um he was driving me nuts because then when he was doing his reps he was going
does does does does instead of going one two and then going down for the
negative one two three four
we all know that right one two one two three four you don't try to put as much
weight as you can in
we're gay we're gay we're gay and your fucking ass is coming out of the seat
stupid not only are you fucking taking way more time than you need to be you're
not even getting
you're not even you're you're you're you're not even doing it right
that's right that's who i am i'm that old guy at the gym judging people's form
i actually have the nerve at almost 57 years of age someone who blew out both
his fucking shoulders
with poor form to now judge other people's form who when i was their age i had
bad form
and i'm deliberately deliberately blocking that out because as an older person
knowing things
is something that you need to to tell younger people so you don't have to think
about your mortality
anyways so i did legs and eggs today um i don't know the way i'm built no
matter how much i do legs
they they just don't i gotta take that shit wiley coyote took
in one of my favorite cartoons when he got the fucking
earl campbell legs and he was running around burning up the streets literally
leaving fire on the streets
i don't know why but i used to always root for him i never liked the roadrunner
you know
i don't know say what you want about the coyote like that dude that dude could
take
a bump always got up always got up always sold it you know played a great heel
he just sold it we knew we was gonna lose and we still showed up every time
rooting for him um
anyways the boston celtics jesus christ jason tatum blew out his achilles um
which is fucking brutal
so i thought the knicks were gonna wrap it up um up in boston
and uh i don't know why they didn't
um from what i heard i was working so i missed the whole fucking game but i
heard it was uh
the celtics kind of cruised that's what it said on the uh
uh the little sports ticker tape down there at the bottom ticker whatever you
call it
um but i feel like they gotta there's no they don't obviously don't want to go
back to boston so i
figured they they close it out down here um and then what's gonna happen and it's
already happened
when they went up three games to one all of these new york nick fans that i
have not heard from
i since latrell spreewell are all coming out of the fucking woodwork it's just
like
you know i and i know this isn't all new york fans and i know that there's boston's
fans like
that but like those those sports fans that go into hibernation you know when
their team loses or
whatever and then they they they only come out when the sun's out like you know
that groundhog day
shit like those sports fans i don't show any mercy with them but i respect the
rest like verzi
verzi's a great knicks fan like if the knicks win it i'm gonna be so happy for
him
and i actually like the knicks but those fucking whack-a-mole fans that pop up
um
like there was one i hadn't heard from this guy since game he's a big baseball
guy i had not heard
from the guy since game three of 2004 he just fucking disappeared and then i
remember in the early 20 teens
we blew a series we blew a lead or something like that i think we were in first
place
when we had bobby valentine that's right we we had this september collapse and
out of nowhere
i don't know where he called me up and trashed me
i mean i hadn't heard from this guy in like seven fucking years
um and then the next year we won it i didn't hear i haven't heard from him
since
um um those kinds of sports fans um like those are the ones that like i don't
know i got to keep
them at bay because then it makes me actually give a shit start rooting for the
knicks to lose and i
don't want him to lose because i love verzi i just have to focus on that and
not these fucking morons
that like call up plus you know i don't want to get into it with a knicks fan i
mean it's it it was i
started with this one guy who came out of nowhere it was it was too easy it was
just too easy
i'm like dude you got like 10 fucking teams you guys should be having a
championship parade for
somebody every two years but somehow you go oh for fucking 10 every year and i
still have to listen to
you what are you talking about i don't understand what it is um anyway i i don't
get it um
and he goes okay we might not win but we're the strongest it's like you're not
strong
woody allen made it in new york andy warhol made it in new york painting soup
cans
oh my god don't get me started with that guy if anybody can ever explain to me
what that guy like i swear to god if the emperor's new clothes wasn't already
written i would be like
it has to be about this guy it's a soup can i'm commenting on capitalism
whatever the he was doing
i mean the people that hung out with him did you ever see a bigger group of
people that you would
have no interest in hanging out with it was just a bunch of hipster they were
like the original hipsters
all just hanging out you know being aloof pretending they were interesting when
they weren't
their oversized itchy sweaters hanging off their shoulder i guess they
predicted flash dance maybe maybe
that was their contribution to art um yeah yeah that guy yeah that's my opinion
that dude stinks
he just stinks you make up you make a movie about a drug addict and then you
kick her out of your
circle and then she dies is that is that i mean i don't know i maybe i should
read up on the guy you
know what this is probably me i probably don't know enough about the art world
to understand his
contribution by painting a soup can in the future everyone will be famous for
15 minutes and he was
right he wasn't everyone isn't famous it never happened everyone is not famous
for 15 minutes
i don't walk down the street going oh my god oh my gosh that guy it's a bunch
of people i don't know
Andy Warhol once said
anyway i don't get it i don't get Andy Warhol any more than i understand the
bacon egg and cheese
sandwich i get it it it fills you up or whatever but like i don't know i i it's
every city has like
a mediocre sandwich that everyone freaks out about because they have child
sense memory and and that's
that includes boston i'm not saying it like the level the level that people in
boston hold dunkin donuts
coffee like oh my donkeys donkeys has the bet they don't
okay if you want to say for a fast food chain okay that planted their flag that
we make donuts and
they barely make donuts anymore and they just completely abandoned that and
forgot who they were and got into
like sandwiches and they don't have the best coffee um oh billy hot takes today
huh oh look at you
did you wake up and feel edgy um
anyway yeah i had a good time with my buddy though
he goes new yorkers are the strongest i go i never found this city difficult
as far as to get ahead in i i just didn't maybe you do maybe that's why you
feel the need to wear
timberlands 12 months out of the year
never heard back from him um anyway having said that
i actually i love the knicks and i also love the rangers i don't know why i
love both of those
teams i love an original 16 that isn't the montreal canadians
i love the leafs the uh rangers the blackhawks obviously the bruins
and uh the red wings i like
i loved them in the 90s
uh but somehow once once they they left that old arena something made that was
just sad to me i love
that you had to lean back no i still love the red wings they've had a lot of
great players that i
loved shanahan iserman um all those russian players that i can't remember any
of their names sergey fedorov
um
yeah there's a lot of teams yeah i love the teams are the fans on the other
hand you know
you know what it really should be it's just fans like this
fans like that the uh the whack-a-mole fans
you know that all pop up that happens with success right all of a sudden
the place gets filled up and then you can't get a ticket
you know it's like during the brady runs like where the were all you guys back
when it was schaefer stadium
huh where were you sullivan stadium where were you where were you during those
two and 14
fucking seasons were you sitting in fucking section 318 hammered from a fucking
tailgate
sitting there going why did i buy seasons tickets
i remember i had seasons one year we went five and eleven and i was trying to
get some of my money
back i forget who we were playing but i bet against the patriots because i was
so pissed i'm like
this if i'm going to watch them lose every week i'm going to at least win some
money and then they
showed up and won i might have been against the bills
it was before the it was right before the bills became the bills with jim kelly
and they had
thurman thompson they had all the pieces to dominate the afc um
that now there's there's a fucking
group of new york teams that i have empathy for like i always look at that scott
norwood
he had plenty of fucking leg it was a 47 48 yarder and the story of that game
is not
is not that he missed that field goal it's that bill belichick the giants
defensive coordinator
shut down the run and gun where was all that offense the run and gun offense it
comes down to
a field goal against a team with no fucking quarterback that's not supposed to
happen but
you know what he was a convenient he's a convenient excuse um the real story of
that game is the genius
of bill part uh bill belichick i think anyway that's that's my take and then
also um 1999 the buffalo
sabers that guy was in the crease they called that all year and the most
important
most important goal of the year they them i don't know what it is
i think they low-key don't like buffalo because they don't consider it like one
of the bigger cities
you know what i mean like i would say for a a city of that size
to have two professional sports teams is pretty amazing i mean even the nba
left
the nba left rochester and they