Name: Banana Ball, Sabbath, Corporate World | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-07-07T18:51:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Banana Ball, Sabbath, Corporate World | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Banana Ball, Sabbath, Corporate World | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-07. Transcript available.

Banana Ball, Sabbath, Corporate World | Bill Burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Bird. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast
for Monday, July 7th, 2025.
What's going on? How are you? How's it going?
Ah, geez. Oh, Billy Broadway turned back into a pumpkin.
He's out here in L.A. and he's ready to go to London.
I got to do a benefit out there that I'm on my way to Abu Dhabi.
And then I got a show in Milan, Italy.
And then, then, then, then I have days off.
Then I am done.
So this is the last. Look at the size of that fucking door.
I'm sitting out here in my neighborhood.
I never noticed how big my fucking neighbor's door is.
Jesus Christ, Shaquille O'Neal could walk through that door and not even duck.
That is, why would you have such a big fucking door?
That's just weird.
Um, anyway, plowing ahead here.
Mr. Crowley winning it.
Did you guys see that Jack Black, um, video with those kiddos?
He did, he redid the whole, what was it, in Texas?
That little public access show that, uh, that, uh, Ozzy did with, uh, Randy
Rhodes, Rudy Sazo, and, uh, Tommy Aldridge, I believe, was the band back in the
day.
He did a, like, uh, they, they basically recreated the whole set, the whole
costumes and everything.
Um, anyway, plowing ahead.
I'm glad I got to see Sabbath.
Uh, I saw him in 2000 when they, they had a reunion with all the original guys.
And, um, um, I don't know, that looked amazing.
And it was also, like, sad.
You know?
Um, just fucking, everybody's just old now.
Um, you know?
And then, like, these fucking nerds have taken over the, people who can't even
play instruments through with computers, they're inventing bands that don't
exist, writing songs.
And then they have bots listen to them, so then they get, like, 500,000 views,
and then people think, oh, this is, like, a real band.
And it isn't.
Like, what fucking world are we, are we living in here?
It's unbelievable.
These fucking people, like, they cannot make enough money.
It wasn't enough to be screwing musicians the way that they have, unapologetically,
just fucking them over the entire existence of, of the music business.
They've done nothing but just absolutely bend over and fuck musicians.
And that still isn't enough.
It still isn't enough.
Now they're just kind of fucking, now they're the band, they're writing music.
Or whatever they're doing.
Like, how do you write music on a, you're like, this is like fucking Fleetwood
Mac meets Funkadelic with just a dash of Bryan Adams.
And then they just put it in the thing and it spits it out and then they kind
of, like, you know, bite their bottom lip, make that face as they listen to it
and they put it out there.
And then fucking people, you know, the same people that are walking around 200
pounds overweight wearing Crocs and workout clothes.
They're just, they're just going to buy it.
They're going to download it.
They're going to listen to it.
And they're going to be like, what?
You know, there's an art in, in this also.
I don't know, which maybe there is.
I have no fucking idea.
I don't know.
It's just a strange, it's a strange world.
But what does this all come back to?
It comes back to illegal immigrants.
This whole idea that Americans have, the working man, that when they get all
the illegal immigrants out of this fucking country, that these fucking cunts
that you work for are actually going to start paying you a fair wage.
I don't know what, what fucking world you've been watching, what world you've
been working for.
These fucking cunts at the top have never wanted to pay anybody ever in any, at
any point since the industrial revolution.
They have not wanted to pay anybody anything.
If they could have you come to work fucking, you know, I don't know what,
wearing nothing but fucking tidy whiteys.
And just fucking look like a fucking homeless person.
And they would be totally comfortable with you being filth.
They don't give a shit.
Not pay you anything, teeth falling out of your fucking head.
They could go to bed at night and be like, what?
That's how business is done.
If I didn't do it, somebody else would do it.
They're complete fucking pieces of shit.
And you know what I love about it is, you know, they've always been looking at
like, you know, all these aggressive aggro guys, as they call them, type A,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you know what I love is the world is being ruined by beta nerds who couldn't
fight their way out of a fucking wet paper bag.
The harmless nerd, you know, never picked in gym class and all of that.
And they just were misunderstood and all.
And like, you know, just because, you know, they didn't get to be the prom king
and date the fucking cheerleader and all that.
Hollywood built this whole fucking backstory about nerds that everybody
believed that they were these nice people.
And it turns out they're just like fucking athletes.
Some of them are nice.
Some of them are not.
Some of them are fucking heartless monsters.
Just straight across the board.
And who made these people?
God.
And don't forget, God loves you.
God, he makes the ocean so blue and the fucking prairies and the butterflies.
And you know what else he makes?
Heartless fucking nerds.
He makes them all.
He didn't make that heartless.
Nerd the nerd.
He chose the devil.
Oh, is that what happened?
Anyway, yeah, I'm getting ready to go out on the road here.
I got all caught up with my MotoGP watching their scary crash.
Alex Marquez.
He was just side by side with Pedro Acosta and they just got into it.
You know, rubbing his rice and they got into it and somehow like leaning into
Pedro Acosta.
He fucking squeezed the dude's front brake with his fucking left kidney or some
shit.
It wasn't even on purpose.
And Mark's front tire was up off the ground.
So he slowed the front wheel down.
It was going slow.
It's going slower than the back wheel.
I don't know.
I don't get the physics of that.
But the tire came down and blue smoke came up like he just landed an airplane.
And he immediately just slammed down on the ground.
I'm surprised he didn't get knocked out.
A lot of times they wipe out in a turn.
So they're kind of leaning already.
They're slowing down.
They're not on more of like a straightaway.
Like he was coming into a turn.
So he had a lot of speed and he just right there, Fred.
He just went right the fuck down.
I guess he broke his hand, I think.
Kind of a scary crash.
But here's something I don't understand.
If anybody could explain this to me, is why Peco Bignalle cannot keep up with
Mark Marquez.
They're on the same team.
They're riding the same fucking bike.
He can't even keep up with Alex, who's not riding a factory Ducati.
And this guy has won the championship multiple fucking times.
What is that?
I don't understand what's going on.
Because he always seems to start the race off super aggressive.
Like I'm not fucking around.
Here we go.
And then that's it.
Then he just, I don't know.
After like fucking seven, eight turns.
Somebody passes him.
Then he's in second.
Then he's in third.
And then he's like fighting for fourth and fifth.
I don't understand it.
Do they only make one good bike a week?
I'll tell you the person like sort of like that I've been really enjoying the
way he's been racing this year is Fabio DiGiantonio.
Oh, with the fucking longest name ever.
DG.
Whatever the hell they call him.
Also riding a Ducati.
And I don't know.
Wherever he starts, he always seems to like get up to at least like third place
or something.
I think he's riding great.
And I don't know.
I still don't understand why they're all riding Ducatis.
But the factory one is the best one.
All right.
Well, maybe because you don't understand the sport.
Well, you know, maybe that's what it is.
Speaking of not understanding a sport, let's talk about fucking banana ball.
I watched that for about two seconds.
My daughter's totally into like Pokemon now.
And we're going to card stores and we're going to events.
Speaking of nerds, good nerds.
I went to an event yesterday and one of the people running it was teaching me
how to play the Pokemon game,
which if someone told me that's just as difficult as learning how to play
bridge, I would not argue with them.
I mean, it was just like, I like, all right, this is going to be a good dad
thing.
I'm going to learn how to play this game and then I can play with my daughter
and, you know, be something else that we can do together.
And he got about five minutes into this stuff and I was like, I'm not going to
remember.
I'm not going to remember any of this.
Like, you know, you fucking make like six piles of 10 cards and then you
shuffle them up and then you fucking set them aside.
You deal out some other ones and then you flip it out and you're in the upper
right hand corner.
If it says basic, you can play that, but you can't attack on the first time.
It's like you got to look at the card and read what the fuck the card does.
And I didn't bring my glasses and yeah, it was a shit show.
I was just like, that was back in the day where there was like classes that I
knew from day one that I wasn't going to pass.
And, um, that was it.
I was just like, I'm not putting effort in on this call.
This is like so foreign to me.
There's just no fucking way I'm passing this class.
And then I would just screw around and have a good time and just take the, I
would just take the fucking F.
The E, they used to give us E's.
A, B, C, D, and then E.
They wouldn't go to F for some reason.
Um, it's very linear at my school.
So I just ended up going to summer school.
Just felt like math though.
Other things that I flunked, like for some reason colleges didn't give a shit,
but they were really big on math.
Um, anyway, so we went to these, uh, these Pokemon events and at one of them,
they had that banana ball playing in the background.
Um, and it was packed.
It was at Fenway Park.
I don't know if they did it during the seventh inning stretch.
If it's an actual game, there was like a clock counting it down.
I have no idea what was going on, but it was like people like catching the ball
behind their back.
Uh, a lot of pelvic pumping, a lot of fucking of the baseball field itself.
Simulated fucking.
There was some sort of thing in the end where it was like they were in the
thriller video and they all did like a synchronized dance.
Um, and, uh, it's like, I get this shit.
This is baseball for people who don't like baseball.
All the years I've been watching baseball, I never thought, you know what would
be great?
It's as if fucking George Brett just started fucking the third base bag, just
got on, you know, almost did like a yoga sort of cobra position and then just
started fucking jumping up and down fucking the bag.
I mean, that, that to me would really add to the game because it's like, I like
the game, but there's not enough pelvic pumping in it.
Um, I don't know.
We'll see what, anything that gets people to watch baseball, I guess, if that's
the version of it.
Banana ball.
Um, so a guy hit a routine fly ball to left field and the guy tried to catch it
behind his back and then he dropped it and he didn't get taken out of the game.
And I went like, oh, I see what this is.
I get what this is.
You know, this is for like, there's always people that like you're in a sports
bar and they're watching the game and then they just come up with something
like, dude, you should just be able to fucking, why don't they just blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
And it's always the stupidest fucking idea.
I don't know.
I have my ideas about how to improve games, but, um, banana ball, it's like the
Harlem Globetrotters, the ABA or whatever.
This is the thing though.
What's funny is, is if banana ball gets popular enough, like I said, it looked
like they were playing at Fenway and it looked like it was sold out to me.
Now, if that gets popular enough, then what happens is the MLB first dismisses
the league, then they make fun of it and then they eventually absorb it.
And then that's going to be, that's going to be the new baseball.
They would never do that.
Base