Name: NFL, War of the Worlds, Grateful Dead Bootlegs | Monday Morning Podcast 9-22-25 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-09-22T18:27:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'NFL, War of the Worlds, Grateful Dead Bootlegs | Monday Morning Podcast 9-22-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'NFL, War of the Worlds, Grateful Dead Bootlegs | Monday Morning Podcast 9-22-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-22. Transcript available.

NFL, War of the Worlds, Grateful Dead Bootlegs | Monday Morning Podcast 9-22-25 | Bill Burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday,
September 21st, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? Oh, Jesus
there. How was your
football Sunday? How was it? Was it a good one? Was it a bad one? I watched my
New England Patriots
in their throwback Pat Patriot uniforms, which I love. I still wish they would
come back with the
black cleats. That uniform with the black cleats, going back to like, you know,
I was going to say
Irving Fryer. He was the white cleats by then. Jim Plunkett. When I first
started, Mac Herron way,
way, way, way back, over 50 years ago. I've been watching the Patriots for over
50, probably about
73 or 74, about five or six years old. The first time I remember watching them
with my dad.
But anyway, I saw a lot of great things. I saw a lot of bad things. I already
think, I already
feel like Vrabel is the guy. I feel like he's turning this team around. Yes, we
had six turnovers.
Yes, it got ugly there. Yes, all of that stuff. However, you know, there's a
lot to be
happy with. I mean, we were competitive right to the end of the game and we
were nowhere last year.
We were nowhere. So everybody, you know, everybody's got to fucking relax and
give, you know, give them
more than three games to turn this around. So if you just look at today,
obviously they're going to
work on protecting the football. All right. I mean, that, that pickoff in the
end zone, the ball got
tipped. What are you going to do? Right. But the fumbles and that type of stuff,
just protect the ball
batter. Just imagine, imagine if we didn't turn the ball over, we would have,
that's the kind of game
we're going to win. And I kind of got the vibe today that we could win like six
or seven games this
year, you know, and build momentum towards next year. Very conservative number,
six or seven games.
Some would say maybe, uh, I'm getting a little crazy that I think they could
win that many,
but I think they can win like six or seven games. I think by the end of October,
they're going to be a
very competitive team. I think they're going to be in a lot of games. I think
they're a little bit
young, so they're not going to know how to win. Like today, they should have
won. They should have
beat the Steelers today. They just, they just don't know how to do it yet. Um,
you know, it's like,
you know, watching your kid learn how to walk. What are you going to yell at
him? Cause he can't run
yet. You encourage him. Hey, and he falls on his ass. Good job, buddy. Good job.
Um, yeah. The football
version of that, which is you got to get your fucking heads in the game. I mean,
that's how it
works, but that's the same thing. It translates. It definitely translates. Um,
how about the fucking
jets? What a great game that was heartbreaker that they lost it in the end. But,
um, you know,
if I'm a jet fan, I'm, I'm liking the direction they're going in. That kid
fucking blocked the field
goal right there at the end, picked it up and ran it in. I mean, they're in my
division and I was going
crazy when I saw that. That was fucking amazing. And, uh, you know, I'm not a,
you know, I root for my
teams, but I'm not a cunt. All right. Anybody that wishes more misery on jets
fans. I mean,
you really got to like, uh, you know, if you're work, if you're wishing more
misery on jets fans,
then I also think that you align with people that work for ice. You know what I
mean? Let's go down
to home Depot. He's illegal immigrants. They're, they're down here. They were
trying to work and,
and, you know, they're scared shitless and, you know, to pay off my college
tuition, I'm going to
help throw them in a van. Um, yeah, that's the kind of people that, that see
what I did there. I kind
of tied it all in there. It made sense in my head. Um, here's one for you is,
is by the way, um,
I got to be honest with you, Aaron Rogers looks good as a Steeler, you know,
that uniform. I wish
he didn't shave the beard though. Wish he had a little bit of that Kenny Stabler,
silver hair in
the beard, you know, silver whiskers, the grizzled vet taking over one of the
oldest teams in the NFL.
I don't know. I kind of like it. Um, I had money on the Niners versus the Cardinals.
That game's
still going on. It's currently six to three. Is there anything worse than
having fucking money on
a dog shit game like that? Oh, here comes Billy conspiracy. Here comes Billy
conspiracy. I've been
thinking, Oh, Bill, why would you do that? Whatever you do, whatever you do,
Bill, don't start thinking.
Um, I've been thinking lately, uh, a couple of things. One, the genius of
making sports gambling legal aside
from all the extra money that the state makes and the league makes, it's
basically, you know, you're paying
taxes through football games because they, everybody's, you know, wet in their
beak.
Um, it's a more exciting way to pay for paying the roads in your state, I guess
at the end of the day.
But, um, now that so many more people I believe are gambling on football, so
many more people are
going to hang around and watch a dog shit game to the end because as much as it's
not entertaining,
it matters. It matters to your wallet. Um, and then my other thing, the whole,
is it a, is it a catch?
Is it not a catch? The whole ambiguity of that, which I can, I, you know, gun
to my head. I would
just flip a coin. I have no idea which way they're going to go. They literally
catch the ball and start
running with it. And then there's that whole fucking up to interpretation. You
can't argue with it.
Did the person make the move or not? And that right there is how you fix a
football game right there.
I'm not, that is the NFL's version of the baseline. I remember when that guy
was at Donahue that was
fixing games. He said, one of your best friends, when you're fixing a game is
the baseline or something
like calling shit out or whatever, when it's in and vice versa and all of that
type of shit.
Colin files the football version to, uh, fuck a game. One, I'm not saying they
do this every game,
but if there's, if there needs to be some fuckery, that's a great place to go
is the, but did he,
because the guys in the booth never know. What do you think's gonna, I don't
know. Like they can sit
there and say, that's a fumble. That isn't a fumble, except with the stupid
tuck rule. But like,
they know, did, did his knee touch the ground before? After that shit, you can't
fuck with.
But that whole, um, did he, or did he not make a football move? And that is
just all they get on a
fucking phone. And they call some guy in New York. I mean, Jesus Christ. What,
what, what, what else do
you need? What, what do you, what, what else do you need? I mean, that, that's
like a fucking Bronx tale.
You know, who are they calling Chas Palminteri? Who are they calling in New
York?
Some Italian guy hanging out in front of a social club. What is going on there?
I have no idea.
Actually, I don't think there's any Italians involved in it anymore, which
really sucks.
Because when the Italians did it, you know what I mean? It was a lot more fun.
It looked better.
The food was great. There was a spread, you know what I mean? Not just on the
game. They had the food
laid out, all of that shit. And this was opposed to these fucking corporate cunts,
heartless cunts.
So that's my new, that's my new, uh, conspiracy theory that one of the ways, um,
obviously you can
call holding on any, any play, but, uh, I was watching that Auburn game
when that guy caught the ball, he gets tackled, his, his ass hits the, you know,
the defenders
underneath him. So he's never on the ground. The ball flies out of his hands.
The guy from Auburn
catches it and runs it back. And they're literally going, did he make a
football move?
Did he make a football move? He ran like two steps. He caught the fucking ball,
turned and ran a step and a half. At what point?
Two things I'm never going to figure out. Is it, or is it not a Bach? I don't
know what the
fuck a Bach is. And I don't know what a football move is. And, um, you know, I
just look at it like
geometry. Didn't make sense then. Doesn't make sense now. And it's not going to
make sense to me in the future.
I understand what it's for. And I understand that whatever part of your brain
you go to,
to understand it, I do not have access to.
You know, it's like when you click on, on a, on an ad on the internet and it's
to some newspaper
and you start to read it. And then that thing comes up. They need to subscribe.
And you're like,
I'm not fucking doing this. I'm never going to see that article. I'm not in the
circle.
I don't have the passcode. Um, all right. Anyway. And with that, with that,
that, that fucking
chatter, um, Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened to the saints?
I want you to turn that game on. Cause the 49ers Cardinals game was so bad.
And that was the game we had out here on the West coast and Seattle was up 21
to nothing. They really
are that bad, huh? Um, who's the coach for Seattle? Is it, I saw, is it the
Michael McDonald?
He came from somewhere back in the long ago, called a flea flicker. Um,
anyway, plowing ahead here. Uh, I had a fantastic week. Um, been working my ass
off, not really been
on the road, but I'm working on some scripts and stuff like that. Some projects
with some, uh,
people I'm excited to work with that. I can't talk about yet, but hopefully in
the future, these,
these, uh, projects will come to fruition. I did a road gig last night in
Riverside,
hadn't been there in a minute, played the Fox theater out there. I want to
thank each
and every person that came out last night. I had such a great time.
And, uh, I worked with Dean Del Rey, who I'm telling you has written his best
material of his
career is fucking murdering. And I've been using another new comic that I, I
just, uh,
well, Dean's not a new comic, but I, I, I work in a new person into the
rotation,
you know, cause I don't bring cupcakes on the road and they all, all, all of
them end up going out,
headlining, you know, Paul Verzi going around the country, fucking destroying
Joe Bartnick going
around the country, fucking destroying. So the Dean Del Rey is going to be
going soon, right?
So I always got to have somebody new. So I've been working with this comedian,
uh,
Ambria Allen, who is, uh, fucking amazing. Absolutely murdered last night.
Made me laugh out loud twice, which I never do. And, um, you know, I get like
really psyched
when the people in front of me are going out doing their thing. And, uh, you
know,
it just makes for such a great show because the people came out to see the last
comic.
And I think there's this idea that the, the, the ones that they're going to see
before that
aren't going to be up to, you know, snuff. And then they come out and they
fucking murder.
Like, I don't know. That's just one of those things why I come out there and I
just feel like
they already, you know, feel like they're getting their money's worth. All I
got to do is just finish
this off. So I went out there, tried out some new, a couple of new ones. Some
of them went,
some of them didn't, but, uh, you know, I'm going to try to jump on stage, uh,
again tonight,
recording this Sunday, uh, cause I got some road gigs, road gigs. I'm going to
Saudi Arabia and Bahrain
this week. Uh, really excited to head out there for that. There's some big
festival out there to go
out there and go meet the, uh, the Bill Burr, you know, a fucking Saudi Arabian
Bahrain.
You know, it's kind of a great thing to travel the world like that, you know,
and, uh,
I don't know. I'm not going to be there long. Of course, it's going to be
hottest. It's going to be
like, you know, over a hundred degrees, I think. Jeez Louise. Um, but I'm going
to try to see whatever
I can see. And, uh, it's kind of cool, man. When you do standup comedy, it's
amazing. Like when you do
your act, you can learn so much about people in whatever country you're in or
whatever city you're
in by what they laugh