Name: Patriots, Old Photos, Space | Monday Morning Podcast 10-6-25 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-10-07T00:52:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Patriots, Old Photos, Space | Monday Morning Podcast 10-6-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Patriots, Old Photos, Space | Monday Morning Podcast 10-6-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-07. Transcript available.

Patriots, Old Photos, Space | Monday Morning Podcast 10-6-25 | Bill Burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast.
For Monday, August 6, 2025, what's going on? How are ya?
Oh, Jesus, how's it going in your neck of the woods there?
It's not going so good in my neck of the woods.
I'll tell you that, the sanctimonious is sanctimonian.
Key word on the monian.
Oh, Jesus.
All right, here's the deal.
You guys are asking me, obviously, a ton of questions
about the absolute controversy, all right?
Here's the deal.
I would love, I have no problem answering any of them.
The problem I have is after I answer them, it all gets clipped.
And then once it gets clipped, then the lies start getting told
or they start shaping it and making it this and making it that.
So, all I'm doing is just throwing another log on the fire and then they can
make more money.
No, I'm sorry.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Because they care so much.
That's right.
Sorry.
Not because they're just making money.
You know, but I do have to tell you, this is fascinating because I've never
been in the middle of one of these fucking things.
And my whole life when I watch the news, you know, not every fucking news
stories,
but there's been a lot of shit where you watch it going like,
yeah, I don't know, kind of seems like that kind of fucking dick.
So, to finally be in the middle of it and the level of like straight up lies is
just, it's wild.
And I'll be honest with you, I've been off the internet for like a fucking
month,
but just the shit people have been sent.
It's funny, you get off the internet and people still send you shit.
So, like these stories of like there was no women there, he just performed to
the royals.
By the time they're done with this shit, they're going to say I went over there
and did a one-on-one show
in a fucking tent staring at my toes and then I left for the head fucking guy,
whoever the hell it is over there, right?
Once again, I performed in an arena over there in the round.
There was 8,000 people at the show, okay?
It was citizens.
And then they had diplomats sitting down front in a nerve-wracking way for the
performer
to make sure that, you know, you didn't talk about the two or three things that
they said
that they negotiated down to not talk about.
Once again, as I said before, whoever put together the comedy festival and
everything,
what it did for freedom of speech over there, because like before it started,
you couldn't talk about all of this stuff and then they whittled it down to
just that.
And that is how, you know, if you truly care about stuff like that, you
gradually move towards
something more positive, all right?
I mean, and I have to tell you, all right, all of this sanctimonious shit out
there, I'm
going to tell you something right now.
I saw, in 33 years of stand-up, I've never seen anybody with bigger balls.
And I'm not going to say the name of the comedian, even though you're going to
figure it out,
but I'm just trying not to get anybody else this fucking shit coming at him,
went on over
there, openly gay.
And in the middle of the set, two of the diplomats got up to go to the bathroom
and this person
said, hey, where are you going?
Are you going to go on Grindr?
I mean, I've seen them all.
I've never seen anybody.
It's like, I don't have the balls to say that.
And the fact that her own people came at her and all of that, it's just, it's
disgusting.
It really is.
That's what they're going to clip.
That's what they're going to clip.
Bill says fucking the reaction to that is disgusting.
And I'll tell you what else is amazing and really confusing to me is what we
did over there
wasn't even on TV.
However, what everybody's complaining about was on TV the week before.
On a different event and nobody said anything.
So, you know, and that's the difference between being a billion dollar conglomerate
and being
an independent contractor.
It's kind of like, you know, if you go back to like, I don't want to talk
anymore about it,
but like I said, like I would love to answer all of this stuff.
I'm not afraid of any of these questions.
I would love to answer them.
You know, it's just that the way that it is being used and my favorite thing,
you know,
I did a couple of sets last night and I didn't run into any of the special ones
when I was
down there.
But I'm really looking forward to that when I do, because I know exactly this
is how this
shit goes down.
You know, yada, yada, yada is said over here.
And then when you run into the person face to face, this is what's always said.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
How's it going, man?
Just checking in on your man.
Are you doing okay, man?
That fucking bullshit.
That phony ass bullshit.
But I'm not going to lie to you.
You know, how do I put this?
Do you know when you just sort of, no matter what the behavior is, but you just
know a person,
so you just expect it so it doesn't bug you.
That's kind of the way it is.
So I sort of expect that and, oh, my God.
Do you know what I did yesterday to fucking calm me down for the amount of
bullshit out
there?
The fucking roast jokes that I wrote yesterday.
It was as an exercise.
I had a real good time doing that.
Okay, but I will toe the line that the reason that, you know, yeah, yeah, I'm
going to shut
up now.
There you go.
There's for your fucking news cycle.
Now, go twist all of that around.
But just remember, there was women at the show, four hotties down front, faces
were not covered,
smoke shows down front, 8,000 citizens is what I performed in front of.
And then I had the teachers looking at me while I did it.
And I also connected in a country that had just been hit by two fucking
missiles, three
missiles, whatever the fuck it was.
So, you know, I'm going to go with the fact that people really, you know, the
reason you
didn't go, not because you were scared shitless.
Because we all were.
So they, and I get it if you were, if you were.
So anyway, so that's why I'm not answering your shit.
Just hang in there for a minute.
And when the bots get everybody mad at something else, I'll answer any and all
fucking questions
that you want to answer.
And as long as you're able to take an honest look at your own backyard.
Yeah, you'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
Anyway.
All right.
Plowing ahead.
All right.
How about the New England Patriots, everybody?
Holy shit.
We actually got a fucking squad.
Mike Vrabel.
I don't want to pat myself on the back, especially during this difficult time.
Oh, the jokes.
The jokes I could do right now.
Anyway, I was saying in September, not to pat myself on the back, that I felt
by the end
of October, Mike Vrabel was going to have this team, the direction that was
going in, he's
going to have a really competitive team, a 500 team that nobody really wanted
to play, that
was going to give you a motherfucking game.
Well, guess what?
He got him there by October 5th.
And Stefan Diggs, Jesus Christ, if he can bring that energy every game, if he
can just pretend
he's going back to play the Buffalo Bills in Buffalo.
I mean, that guy was a man possessed.
We still had our fumbling issues.
So, and I know that that's not going to be a problem for long.
What did we have?
I lost count.
I think we had like three fumbles or whatever.
But, and we hung in there with the Buffalo Bills and I got to give a shout out
to the
Bills, dude.
Fucking Josh Allen, man.
I love that guy.
That guy, he's like, he's an old school, like big fucking guy can take a hit,
but he's
got the new school thing where he can like, you know, run and all of that.
I guess it's not new school.
John Elway was doing it way back in the day.
And so was Steve Young and that type of shit.
But like, I don't know.
I, I, I, I kind of think the AFC with, with Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson,
even though
he's hurt.
Um, I don't know.
Do we have the better, better overall quarterbacks?
I don't know.
I have no idea, but like, um, I don't know.
It was a really, really, really fun game to watch.
And, um, Josh Allen just made a couple of fucking sick throws.
And then Drake may also that one where he was getting dragged down and Collinsworth
was
going nuts about it, how strong he was.
And he was able to get it off to Stefan Diggs.
Once again, Stefan Diggs had, I forget, he had like 149, 150 yards, 10 catches
or something
like that.
Um, it was, and then the last second field goal, not like, I mean, 20 seconds
left or whatever,
uh, in that fucking hostile environment was, uh, that was easily the biggest
win the Patriots
have had since 2018, um, 2019 was the brutal year when Tom Brady's last year
and we didn't
have any buddy for him to throw to or whatever.
And then he went to Tampa Bay and the rest is history.
But, uh, it's been a long time since I sat down and expected to see like some
competitive
football from the Patriots.
So it's pretty, uh, it's pretty fucking cool, man.
Um, anyway, I didn't get to see too much of the, uh, too much of football.
Uh, I don't know what, what the fuck happened in the Eagles Broncos game.
Like I had, uh, I had the Eagles and then out of a sudden, I don't know where
the fucking
Broncos come racing back.
And I swear to God, it's just like, you guys have to understand when I was a
kid, this shit
didn't happen.
It had, okay.
It happened like maybe like twice a month.
There'd be some big frantic, at least it felt that way.
But now it's just like, it's like the fucking NBA, you know, your team's up by
20 and you
just know in three minutes, it's going to be a four point game.
They're somehow going to go on a 16-0 run two timeouts later.
You know, you're only up by four or you're down by, you know, I don't even know
what.
So it's kind of become that.
And I feel like that's what they want.
Although I did think that, but there's still more like old, like I kind of felt
like, uh,
the Bills Patriots, you know, that didn't have that weirdness thing where it
was kind of,
nobody really pulled away from anybody at any point.
And, uh, I never really thought that we were going to win the game, uh, until
after the,
the ball went through the fucking uprights, um, I was just thrilled that we
were hanging
with them because the Bills are, uh, the beasts of the East for the last few
years.
So, um, anyway, I didn't get those Bills uniforms either.
It was a little too much like that Raiders uniform that I liked the best, but
sorry, I'm drinking a fucking coffee here.
But anyway, so in other news, I cleaned out my, uh, my, um, what you call it
there?
The, uh, room over my garage.
I had all of like this fucking memorabilia and all of this crap that I've just
kept
for fucking ever.
And I'm, I've just been going through it.
I literally still have the, the empty bank loan stub for the first vehicle I
ever bought
an 83 Ford Ranger that I got from Danvers Savings Bank, one Conan street, Danvers,
mass,
whatever the hell it is.
Um, who, by the way, I didn't realize Mark, Mark Navarro is from there.
Who knew?
Not me.
Um, anyway, um, I just been going through all of that stuff and all of this
shit
that I kept throughout a 33 year career.
Um, all of these, like those backstage laminates, all of this stuff, all of
these things that
people have given me.
And, uh, so I got one bag of shit.
I'm going to option auction off.
Then I have all of these fucking, oh my God, the photos that I had.
Holy shit.
I'm not going to name the comics right now because I don't know why.
I just feel like you don't want to be associated with me.
Oh, fucking whatever, you know, but, uh, maybe I can name the dead ones.
Um, just like pictures from like the fucking 1990s.
Um, I had one, a couple of random selfies with Greg Giraldo.
I guess I could say his name.
Um, rest in peace, Greg, uh, from this fucking, this tour we did was a just for
laughs tour.
Um, and just for laughs, you know, had a great run.
I can't believe it's over, but they had a great run up in Canada.
And when you were on the Canadian just for laughs tour, I mean, it was just
theaters back
when theaters were like arenas that comedians would play in th