Name: Windows, Evolution, the Boroughs | Monday Morning Podcast 10-13-25 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-10-13T17:31:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Windows, Evolution, the Boroughs | Monday Morning Podcast 10-13-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Windows, Evolution, the Boroughs | Monday Morning Podcast 10-13-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-13. Transcript available.

Windows, Evolution, the Boroughs | Monday Morning Podcast 10-13-25 | Bill Burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday, October 13th, 2025.
What's going on? How are you? Oh, geez.
I'm doing my podcast here. I guess I could close these windows on my buddy's
front porch.
The fucking traffic going by. It was quiet as hell two seconds ago.
I'm getting to be that age. I'm getting to be that age where I talk about the
traffic.
I got to close the goddamn windows. There's too much goddamn traffic out. There
we go. That's a little better.
Anyway, start of a new week. There we go. That didn't fucking do anything.
Isn't that how life is? There's a problem. You get up. You try and solve it.
For half a second, you go there. It's better. And then you're like, wait a
minute. No, it isn't.
No, it isn't. And that's called going to the gym.
I got to get my ass back in the gym. I've not been in the gym in like fucking
two weeks.
I fell out of it. I fell out of favor with the gym.
Just haven't been going. I got to go. I've been stretching like the old fucking
man I am.
Kvetching.
But I just I don't know. I stopped going. And then I got into other shit. And
then the back of my head's like, Bill, you're at an age you have to go to the
gym.
It's not you have to go to the gym or you have to eat like a bird or you're
going to be a fat fuck.
And I chose to ignore that voice. I didn't argue with it. I was like, I know. I
know. You're right. You're right.
You're right. So it starts today. Billy's back.
Billy's back and he's going to be in trouble. Hey, yeah. Hey, yeah.
BB's fat. Yeah, I'm going to get back into that. But I don't know.
Took the last couple of fucking weeks off. Finally got a chance to watch some
football.
Sucked watching the Wolverines lose to the Trojans.
But running back went down early.
Fucked us.
So congratulations to them.
Still, I got to tell you, I hope they never make USC a new football stadium.
You got to keep that's like one of the most iconic stadiums where that thing's
filled up.
And the fact that it actually wasn't completely full.
Like you could get some tickets. I mean, it's a fucking huge place.
But it always reminds me of the first two NFL, AFL championship games that were
later renamed the Super Bowl.
And that's pretty sick. The first two Super Bowls were played in that stadium.
I haven't been there in a minute, but I think last time I went there, I saw a
Rams game.
So it's been a while.
But I'd always think that every time I went in there, like Vince Lombardi, Hank
Stram.
I think with the coaches, Hank lost that one.
And then he came back and won Super Bowl four.
Oh, Jesus. Here comes the Super Bowl rain, man.
Bart Starr.
That was my trivia question with Mahomes, Patrick Mahomes.
Last quarterback to win the Super Bowl, to win number 15 before Patrick Mahomes.
And to even name a quarterback that wore 15.
I had to go back to like Neil Lomax, but it was Bart Starr, Super Bowl one and
two.
There you go. See, now you can get on with your week.
Now you're on your way.
Dude, this, my buddy's got a nice fucking house.
This is like a borderline breezeway.
No, it's not a breezeway.
It's a porch.
Porch is on the front of the house.
So breezeway was either at the end of a house, you know.
The classic was it was just on the end of the house.
Like you pulled your giant 70s gas guzzler into the garage.
You got out of the garage.
You opened the door.
You were in the kitchen.
Dining room, living room there.
Then there was bathrooms either upstairs or downstairs, depending on the layout.
And then if you continued on down the hall, there'd be just like an open like
breezeway.
And you had like screens on it in the summertime.
And in the wintertime, you replaced it with the storm windows is what they were
called.
And all of that shit would be in the fucking garage.
And your wife would be like, you got to get those windows out.
There's a storm coming.
All right.
All right, Mary.
I'm going to fucking do it.
I told, what did I talk to you about the swearing in the house?
Or we had a breezeway in a house I was growing up in when I was really young.
And it went garage breezeway.
And then you were into the dining room, living room to the right, kitchen
straight ahead.
Some of the entries, that was a split entry house.
Split entry for squirrely people.
What do I want to do?
Do I want to go upstairs and deal with my marriage?
Or do I just want to go downstairs to the family room?
Whoever built this split entry realized that a relationship is a fucking wild
animal.
That's what I fucking...
I don't know, dude.
That's what I always tell my friends.
That I get married or whatever.
It's like, it's fucking...
It is not stagnant.
It is fucking forever moving.
You got to keep an eye on it.
You got to keep an eye on it.
It'll fucking come over and bite you in the ass.
Anyway, yeah.
My whole neighborhood when I was growing up, that's what it was.
It was mid-century moderns.
But we basically still were in mid-century.
It was 1970.
So no one was saying mid-century at that point.
And the fucking houses were only 10, 15 years old.
We used to call them Brady Bunch houses.
And mid-century moderns.
And then there was split entries.
Which were the fucking worst.
Split entries.
Like your bedroom window downstairs was at like ground level.
So if you had any sort of water issues, it would come in on the wall-to-wall
carpet.
And also I remember getting like, you know, the big punishment was go to bed.
You had to go to bed early.
So my friends would be outside playing.
And they would be looking in my window, like knocking on the window, laughing
at me.
Or putting their faces up, trying to see in.
And I'd be all embarrassed under the covers.
Look at Billy.
He's got his pajamas on.
He's already in bed.
A little fucking baby.
The level that kids curse to.
Sweared.
Swore.
That's what it was.
It was called swearing when I was a kid.
He sweared at me.
Yeah, that.
Kids with foul mouths and parents, their level of drinking.
I do remember that.
And all of those parents, when I look back, so many of them.
They were like, they had a, by the time they were my age, they had a fucking
foot in the grave.
Like people used to drop all the time.
Late 50s, early 60s.
Like that was it.
They just, I don't know, shit happened to them as a kid.
Then they started drinking and smoking and they just didn't stop until their
heart did.
And that was the 70s, ladies and gentlemen.
And that's when I first started watching my New England Patriots.
All right.
When they had Jim Plunkett, Sam Cunningham, Randy Vataha, Mike Patrick, John
Smith.
John Hanna, Tony McGee, Julius Adams.
These are the classic names.
Daryl Stingley, Russ Francis.
Who the hell was our coach?
Chuck Fairbanks.
Dude, Chuck Fairbanks is arguably the best coach in the fucking AFC a year
later.
Dude, fuck that cocksucker.
Right up until this weekend, watching my New England Patriots, I was worried
that there was going to be a hangover game playing the Saints.
Who I, I don't know, I kind of love that team because I love that city and that's
one of my favorite stadiums.
I think it's kind of the best stadium, low key, the best stadium in the league.
The Superdome.
That's where they used to have all the Super Bowls when I was growing up and
they redid it perfectly.
They updated it, but they still kept it.
It's the fucking sickest looking thing ever.
I'm a big fan of the architecture when there was that whole idea where we were
sort of ignoring that there was no breathable atmosphere in outer space.
And there was really this belief that we were going to go into space.
We were going to be traveling around.
We were going to be meeting other people.
We were going to be living out there.
And just the whole idea of it spawned this, this flying saucer looking fucking
architecture.
Like, uh, like you go to LAX where the original tower was.
Now it's a restaurant or some shit.
I don't know what it is, but that's like right out of the Jetsons, the Superdome,
just shit like that.
A lot of stuff in Seattle.
A lot of the architecture in Seattle has that whole, no, man, we're going to do
it.
All of that.
They told all of us that in the 70s, we were going to live, there will be
people living on the moon by the year 2000.
And there was going to be underwater cities like it.
I can't say Atlantis.
Atlantis was not an underwater city.
That was a city that got swallowed up by the ocean.
Correct.
Am I correct in assuming that?
Um, anyway, I'm getting off track here.
So I was worried that the Patriots were going to have like the hangover game.
And I got to tell you, man, Mike Vrabel has this team where optimistically me
and my friends were going like,
Hey man, you know, that we keep going this direction.
The end of October, we're going to be that 500 team.
No one wants to play.
We just got to reel in the turnovers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know, we can win whatever.
Six, seven, eight games this year.
He's got them there already.
Like that game against the Saints yesterday was a game.
We, two weeks ago, we would have lost it.
Cause we would have had like two, three turnovers and like a hundred yards and
penalties.
You know, we still had some penalties on a couple of big plays, but, um,
I don't know.
I always look at that.
Like, you know, they had a penalty.
They, they, they called back a fucking touchdown.
It's like, well, did you ever think that maybe if we weren't fucking cheating
on that play,
we wouldn't have scored, especially if it's a run.
If there's a guy like holding and the, the guy goes right by the dude, holding
the dude.
And they're like, ah, I called back a fucking touchdown.
It's like, well, he got the touchdown.
Cause the guy was holding onto him.
I don't know.
I, I'm, I'm, I don't pretend to understand most of the, uh, the decisions.
Once again, people, two point conversion, just cause it's two points doesn't
mean you don't
have to score another touchdown.
Okay.
You understand that?
It just took your four downs.
You went for it on fourth down and you score, you scored a touchdown.
Took you four attempts to fucking do that.
And now it's the two point conversion.
And because it's only two points, you're thinking like it's, it's something
easy.
No, you have to score another touchdown to only get two points.
And then you don't get it.
And then you come down.
Now you got to go again.
Cause you could have kicked the extra point.
Two extra points is two points.
So now you got to go.
Now you start chasing it.
I don't know.
Um, but whatever that, uh, that Keishon booty, booty, however you say it was a,
uh, was definitely
a force.
Um, and a bunch of catches and all that.
Sorry.
Oh, fuck the kids, man.
The kids, they'll wear you out.
So I watched the game while every few seconds, my son was going, dad, will you
play with me?
And I always have to say yes.
I say yes every fucking time.
And most of what it does is it involves me watching him play or being a little
person that
that he has like one of his dinosaurs eat because he's obsessed with, uh,
Jurassic Park and Jurassic
World because we go to sit down and go, Hey, you're going to want to watch
Jurassic Park.
He's like, it's Jurassic World.
And, um, um, it's kind of interesting.
My daughter doesn't like to watch violent shit, but my son loves it.
Like he's been watching Kojak with me forever.
And then he'll be watching like Jurassic World.
And he's all like, look, look, daddy, the dinosaur is going to eat him.
The dinosaur is going to eat him.
He loves it.
Um, so I, I think, you know, the world makes a lot more sense when you have a
girl and a boy.
It's like, yeah, we're kind of drawn to, uh, like he builds cities and then he
just like
rips them down.
I go, what do you like better?
I go, do you like building the city or destroying it?
And he goes, uh, destroying it.
I don't know what it is.
I think, uh, I think everything that's happening is supposed to be happening.
Um, is that what it is?
Is, does God get bored with what he creates?
So he just sort of has like, you