Name: Vancouver, Eddie Murphy, Being Clean | Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-25 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-11-18T02:50:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Vancouver, Eddie Murphy, Being Clean | Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Vancouver, Eddie Murphy, Being Clean | Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-25 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-18. Transcript available.

Vancouver, Eddie Murphy, Being Clean | Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-25 | Bill Burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday, November 16th, 2025. What's going on? Oh, yeah. How's it
going? Oh, geez. Oh, Billy's back in L.A. Go fuck yourselves.
I did my last acting gig of the year. Fucking psyched, dude. I was up in
fucking Vancouver. I was in Vancouver for a couple of weeks up there. Oh, geez.
Very expensive city. You know, it's like if you took Seattle and you gave it
like a sense of purpose. That's what Vancouver is.
No, I'm kidding. Vancouver was Seattle. But like, it definitely looks like a
little bit like a Godzilla movie. You know what I mean? There's a big Asian
population there. And I think that it influenced the architecture in a good way.
But I've been watching a lot of Godzilla movies lately because my son got a
Godzilla action figure thing and he didn't know what it was. He thought it was
like a dinosaur. I'm like, dude, it's not a dinosaur.
Godzilla is Godzilla. Like Lenny Bruce is like, I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny
Bruce. Like Godzilla is like, I'm not a dinosaur. I'm Godzilla. Like, that's
what I'm saying. Right out of the gate. A fucking minute into this podcast.
What? I said it. I'll say it again. You know, people think they're disrupting
everything.
That's right. That's right. Fucking Godzilla is not a dinosaur. Come at me, bro.
And all this other dumb shit that people say on the Internet.
I can't come at you. I don't know who you are. I don't know where you are.
Maybe that's the joke, right? Is that what the joke is? People are acting like
they're being tough, even though they're hiding. Bill, maybe you could just
read the comment and laugh and not be so fucking literal.
Aren't you a comedian? You fucking freckled cunt. So we've been watching. Yeah.
So, you know, he goes to look at Godzilla and it's the modern shit.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not doing this modern Godzilla
shit. Fucking CGI. It's not even there. A bunch of actors staring at tennis
balls going, oh, oh, Godzilla. No, fuck that.
Fuck that. I want original Godzilla. A five foot six Japanese guy in a fucking
Barney the dinosaur suit stomping on a little
city. That's what the fuck we're starting with. And we did. It was the one
where there was robot Godzilla.
We watched it last night. Robot Godzilla versus this this robot Godzilla that
only worked if they killed this woman and turned her into a robot.
And then somehow she's also still a person because she can cry in the end,
which she did. I got to give it up to her.
She got there. You know, it was a great acting performance. I did not expect
that level of acting in a Godzilla.
It was a killer movie. There's also a dude in there that's sort of a nod to
Albert Einstein, I felt.
And then there's one guy. He's wearing this gray three piece suit with this
killer black and white tie.
And I just kept saying to Nia, we had movie night last night. I kept going,
look at that fucking suit.
He had the Jack Lord Hawaii 5-0 haircut. All the guys in the thing had that.
So anyway, we watched that Godzilla.
And then there was also another sort of dinosaur looking thing.
The thing was weird. It would like talk all this shit.
And then when Godzilla would come to it, it would turn its back on Godzilla and
like add this extra thing with its tail.
Like a sail and it would start like fucking basically twerking sideways, which
would create such like a, it was like the butterfly flapping its wings, except
it was a dinosaur.
And Godzilla would like roll away.
It was fucking fantastic.
And I used to watch all of those movies, Godzilla vs. Gamera, Godzilla vs. The
Smog Monster.
They used to have this thing on WLVI TV 56 in Boston, Massachusetts, Greater
Boston too.
And it was called Creature Feature on Saturdays.
Saturdays and I saw all, you know, the 50 foot, Attack of the 50 Foot Man or
whatever.
Creature from the Black Lagoon, all of that shit.
Frankenstein, Dracula movies, werewolf movies.
And then they were really popular.
And then Creature Feature became Creature Double Feature.
Creature Double Feature on a Saturday.
So I would watch cartoons all morning.
And then in the afternoon, I would watch one of those Creature Feature movies.
And they would always have like a host.
Do they have a host?
I can't remember.
I got to look.
That's like some shit, you know.
When you're feeling like nostalgic, you just look it up.
And somebody somehow taped it and fucking posted it.
And you just think like, who taped that?
And there's no way the person who actually, well, I watched it, but I didn't
have the ability to tape.
Whoever taped it had to at least be 20 years old, 50 years ago.
They're probably dead.
And some kid went through their VHS tapes and just posted all of it.
It's amazing.
Anyway, so I was up there.
Anyway, so I was up there.
I got to give a shout out to some places where I went and I got coffee.
All right.
These were the three best places and they all treated me great.
And all of their coffee was fucking delicious over there.
Let me get them.
Okay.
There was nepotism.
There was revolver.
was fantastic.
I went to, uh, Timberland.
Oh, hang on a second.
And then the last one, the last one was OIDE, which interestingly enough is
high in Japanese.
And they just were not fucking around.
They had like two things on the menu and espresso.
And then like espresso with coffee, like, and just like, it was just no
bullshit.
They built their own furniture.
Um, there was a couple of quest songs, but other than that, they just did
coffee.
And that was amazing.
And, um, I have to tell you on Hastings.
And the greater area of Hastings, all of those fucking junkies, everybody doing
what they
call it, the, the, the, the, the Fetty fold, the fentanyl fold.
Um, that was fucking heartbreaking to see all of that stuff.
I just kept thinking like, that's somebody's daughter.
That's somebody's son or brother, father, mother, or whatever.
Um, it's a fucking epidemic, man.
A lot of people, a lot of people in pain doing that.
Shit to their body.
Fuck.
And it was like raining the whole week.
And these fucking people are outside.
Dude, there was a guy nodding off in the middle of the street.
Like he, he, like we have red light and he was trying to make his way across
the street
and he didn't get there.
And then people started driving.
I had to put the window down.
I said, Hey buddy, you're in the street.
Get on the sidewalk.
Shit was fucking bananas.
But I will tell you this though.
When we got outside of that, I saw a little bit of the, uh, the little Italy
area.
I went down, um, I guess the peninsula south of the main downtown area.
I went over there when I went to that, uh, coffee shop, that OIDE, um, coffee
shop.
And, um, and then the first day when I did the fitting and all of that to see,
you know,
what clothes you're going to wear, what costume you're going to have for your
shoot.
I was in the north, north, north of the city.
That one went over the bridge and everything.
But, uh, what a beautiful goddamn city and great people.
And, uh, I hope all those people get off drugs or I hope they do something to
help these people
get off drugs because dude, it was fucking bananas.
Like it had me looking up, like, how the fuck can you stay in that position?
Like, how come your legs don't give out too?
And it wasn't like a heroin, the heroin lean, you know, heroin lean was always
sort of like
bend at the knees and start to go down and then you would always go come back
up again.
This is just folded over at the fucking waist.
Um, like the beginning of yoga class.
I mean, I, I don't know.
I've never seen anything, uh, like that.
And that includes downtown LA.
I mean, this shit was like miles and miles and miles of this shit.
Um, but having said that, it's also a really expensive city to live in.
And, um, the food was fucking fantastic.
The coffee was great and the people were great.
I went to a diner that I liked up there too called, um, Templeman.
I remember that cause that was the same name of the producer on the Van Halen
records early
on, Ted Templeman.
Templeman diner, which was hilarious.
Um, I went there a couple of times and, um, the second time I went there, I was
across
the street cause I wasn't quite sure where it was.
I got the hiccups again.
I eat too fast.
Um, anyway.
And I looked and I didn't realize that it's right next to an adult video store.
And it has this sign in the window, you know, like since 1975, 50 years, the
number one adult
video shop in Vancouver.
It was, uh, it was pretty amazing.
I was kind of like, well, you guys must, so that you've gone through like from
peep shows
to VHS tapes to contemplating laser disc.
Like, is it gonna, is, is this the way we go?
Then the DVD.
And then the, like, digital to like, I don't know what they, I don't know what
they're renting
now.
To sort of all of that stuff.
For like the, uh, the hipster incel.
Who likes to consume their porn.
I have to be honest with you.
The fucking incel thing.
I mean, just call yourselves what you are.
Just call yourselves quitters.
You know, Jesus fucking Christ.
You're just gonna tap out.
You're gonna tap out and blame pussy.
How are you gonna blame pussy when you don't even have it in your fucking life?
What the?
I actually think some of the shit that they say, as misogynistic as some of the
shit that
I've said on stage, like it's like the incels, like how they view women.
Like if, if there was a comedian version of that before I went on stage, I
would be in
the back of the club pacing going, I can't follow this.
I mean, I make fun of women, but I, at the end of the day, I fucking love them.
So I like to think that that's underneath the bullshit that I'm saying, or you
understand
that the issue has nothing to do with them.
It's really me just projecting my bullshit onto them.
But their shit, my God.
I would even say the people of Saudi Arabia would be like, hey man, fucking
take it easy
a little.
That's what I've learned.
I will never forget that lesson that I learned in 2025.
Sell them missiles.
Do not tell them jokes.
You will be just fine.
You will have no problem with the people that care.
Anyway, I'm finally past my phantom limb here with the, with the no baseball.
Take me out to the ball game.
Take me out to the crowd.
Bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth.
Game seven of the fucking World Series.
How did you not score?
He couldn't get out of his fucking glove.
And then he threw it home.
A little off the plate, but the guy got his spike on the fucking plate before
you scored.
I just pictured Joe Carter watching that game going, why don't you just hit a
fucking home
run and end this thing?
If somebody just hit a fucking home run, then no one would be whining about the
fucking,
the third base coach or the guy on third.
Why was his fucking lead social?
Cause it's fucking game seven.
And you don't want to get picked off a third base.
You want to get caught in a rundown.
You don't want to make the final fucking out.
You don't want to do that shit.
Cause the third base coach and all those other cunts could hit a fucking home
run.
And they didn't, they didn't do it.
You know what I would have done?
You know what I would have done after that ninth inning?
If I was a blue Jay in the bottom of the 10th, I just would have hit a fucking
home run.
Um, we were shooting at one point in this, um, that's what they say in the
business.
When we were on set, uh, we were walking by, uh, we were shooting on a college
campus and
there was this music room.
These kids were jamming down there, you know, kid on drums, guitar, and you
know, every other
instrument you could think of.
And then like the last day I was there, they had this juggling class.
Um, I would fucking do that in a second.
First of all, learn how to juggle bowling pins, but then to do it with like
somebody else to
learn how to do that shit.
That's good for your brain.
Like if I was like running some halfway house for fucking recovered, recovered,
like Fenty
fold old