Name: Stavvy's World #16 - Phil Hanley | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2023-03-20T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #16 - Phil Hanley | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #16 - Phil Hanley | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-20. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #16 - Phil Hanley | Full Episode

Welcome everybody back to Stavi's World. We're here. What a beautiful day. We
got my boy Phil
Hanley. What's up Stavos? I'm stoked. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. You're
basically in
fucking you're in Greece right now. You're you're basically reminds me of Corfu.
Yeah. Yeah. You're
in Corfu, dude. You're in here. You're in Santorini. 904-800-STAVE. Everybody,
you know the drill
by now. Call in if you want to leave a voicemail. We've got Super Producer Eldis
looking fucking
gorgeous today. Thank you. Thank you. Fresh cut. How many haircuts do you get
in a month
now? Well, I just got the one in Costa Rica and then I got this one like over
the weekend.
That's a beautiful head of hair. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
Everybody on
this podcast has pretty good hair. Now, so that's two. That's a haircut. What's
so fun. Don't
forget. Don't you use my own fucking soundboard against me, you fucking prick.
Don't forget who
you work for. That's good, though. I want you to be a haircuts every fucking
you know what I mean?
I know. It's been so big and like crazy like the last few years. I just want to
kind of want to keep
it tight for a little while. Yeah. Eldest. Yes. There you go. That was a tough
one for our pal
dyslexic. I have dyslexia and certain names. Yeah. I feel are cruel. I feel
like your parents are being
mean-spirited to me. But Eldest, it's a very traditional Albanian name. It's
not traditional.
It's actually, this is what's awesome. It's literally two women's names mashed
together.
Really? It's his mom and his grandma's name. Okay. My mom and my grandma's name.
Ellen Dis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Elmira and Yaldiz. Yaldiz. Yaldiz. Yaldiz
nuts.
There you go. Take that, grandma. Fucking bitch.
Rest in peace, grandma. She's in heaven sucking on my nuts. Damn. Hold on. The
garage door
guy's calling. This will be good for the pod. I can really run with this. Hello?
Hello? Hey, how are you doing? Hey, how are you doing, my friend? I'm doing
good. I'm doing
good. Buddy, I cannot make it today. Can we do first thing tomorrow morning?
Yeah, we can
do tomorrow morning. What time are you thinking? Around nine o'clock? Yeah, we
can do nine.
Perfect. Okay, great. I'll see you tomorrow. All right. See you then. Thanks.
Oh, fucking
piece of shit. I've had a fucking, my, you're really letting the fucking, you're
really letting
the fly, motherfucker. You fucking prick. Albanian independent day. When is
Albanian independence
day? It's the, it's like, um, the Saturday right after Thanksgiving. Oh, I don't
know why
it's that one. What happened? What did you guys do? We don't do shit for it.
But what,
what's the, the lore? Yeah. Who did you get independent from? I really don't
know. You're
a fucking piece of shit. You don't know shit. Fuck you. I know exactly what
happened on Greek
independence day. We told those Ottoman cocksuckers, suck our fucking dicks. We're
taking this country
back under the banner of God and not, uh, Muhammad. Maybe this is not the best
way to start a YouTube
video. We keep getting, we keep getting demonetized on YouTube and maybe saying,
uh, Greek, the Greek
God is better than what the Muslim one is not correct. It refers to the Albanian
declaration
of independence on the 28th of November and the raising of the Albanian flag in
Vlora by Ismail
Kwe Mali. Yeah. Coinciding with the day in which Skanderbeg raised the same
flag in Kruje on November
28th, 1443. Get the fuck out of here. 1400s. Those fucking medieval Albanian,
like medieval fucking
Slavs. You don't know who the fuck Skanderbeg was, dude. He's probably Greek,
honestly.
Sounds Greek. If you think about it. So you guys met in kindergarten. How, were
you fresh from Albania?
He was. Elvis? I was pretty fresh, yeah. Really? Wow. That must be wild just to
arrive in another
country. Uh, it was great. I was, I mean, I was like three years old, um, but
we were like sponsored
by a church in Greece and a church in Baltimore. We were like selected in a
lottery from Albania.
Really? Wow. Of like sponsored immigrants to like come here. It was really
meant to be for him to
become a producer on this podcast. Yeah. Do you want to plug the sponsor? Yeah.
Damn, what was that
church called? I don't even remember. The odds are hilarious of you getting
right here. Your family
had to win that, be in our, we were in the same preschool class. We had to hit
it off. Yeah. Did you
guys hit it off out of the gates? No. No, no, no. His little bitch ass hated me.
First of all,
everyone hated you. No. You were foreign as shit. You were coming through, he
was coming through in these
thin little Power Rangers pajamas. You could see his cock. No one wearing Power.
We were getting like
pajama shorts and I would like just wear those to school. It's like some fresh
off the boat. Is
that part of the part of the sponsorship? Yeah. They'd give you like, is that
when you, did you arrive
and they're like, this is how Americans dress? No, it was just like shopping at
Ames and they were
like, this is cute. Yeah. You should wear this to school. And we were all
whispering like,
fucking piece of shit. Yeah. He's wearing pajamas. I was so aloof. I don't
think I even
realized like, no, you had no idea. You had no idea. I mean, I barely knew
English. Yeah.
That was another thing. This was pure xenophobia. Yeah. Also in a, in a school
full of poor foreign
kids, eldest was the poorest and most foreign. Oh, so it was like, we all kind
of shit on him,
but you know what? He learned some English. He put on some fucking jeans and
then we respected him in
kindergarten. I feel bad. Like when, uh, I feel like that we, yeah, like, cause
when someone moves
to a brand new, like, it's crazy to go to a new school. Yeah. I would have to
go to new schools
cause I was in special ed sometimes. So like they, and that sucked, but I can't
imagine a whole new
country, you know, one where people don't wear pajamas to school. It wasn't
that crazy for me.
Cause I was so young, but I think about like, you know, your sister, it's crazy.
My sister, my sister, a little bit my parents, like they came here when they
were like 40 and
couldn't speak English at all. And that, that seems a lot more fucked up. That's
true. That's
three years old and coming here. Yeah. But you're an adult though. You know
what I mean?
Yeah. But it's still crazy. Yeah. When all you know is like communist Albania.
Oh, I didn't know
Albania and Albania was communist. Yeah. They get used to not eating dirt
burgers.
Were they so happy? The Albanian. Were your parents very, are your parents
super patriotic now?
Uh, no. Okay. No. Recent immigrants do not like America. Is that true?
If you came in the eighties or later, it's like, it's like fuck America. We're
here cause our country
also sucks, but fuck America. That's kind of the feeling. Okay. At least my
family's like,
my dad, he came here in the eighties. He's like, if you came in like the forties
and shit like that.
Yeah. Cause tons of people were coming at that point, right? And they all like
learned English
and assimilated and just like, especially like a white ethnic group. They were
so happy to just
become white Americans. Whereas if you came later, there was almost like a
choice to coming here or
you were, you were brought here by family or it was like, it wasn't as dire,
right? You weren't
escaping like a war or something. Yeah. You were just moving here. Cause like
your cousin, you know,
had a restaurant and you were like, fuck it. I'll come. And then you got sucked
in. Is that what
your dad, is that what inspired your dad? My parents came here in theory to
leave. Their plan was,
we're going to live in America for a year and save money and then go back to
Greece and go back to
Greece. Wow. And they've just been here for at this point over 40 years. Okay.
Really?
They haven't been doing too good on that saving money part either. My dad was
like very liberal
in Albania and he was like anti-communist and shit. Yeah. And I feel like, you
know, in America,
like it's just so hard and, you know, capitalism is like so hard. Yeah. He got,
he got, he just,
and I don't think like he fully like realized just like what it means. Like, I
don't know,
like, you know, everything is a little more clear. You see the positive parts,
like in retrospect in Albania. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, well,
communism is pretty bad because they might just like kill you or your family
member.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a big con. Yeah. If you're caught kissing another man,
you might get, you might get an AK to the back of the head, but you are going
to have some bread.
It does piss me off how cool the Albanian flag looks, um, but you know, good
branding,
shit product.
That is a bad-ass flag, man. Yeah. It's fucking good.
The two headed Phoenix, I call it. Yeah.
Oh yeah.
What do you call it?
It's the eagle.
The double eagle.
The eagle, yeah.
The two headed eagle. Okay.
So you've never, you've never come into contact with any other Albanians in
your life?
Uh, well, I like I-
Vancouver. You grew up in Vancouver.
I grew up, uh, actually grew up in Ontario, just outside of Toronto.
Oh, okay. Oh, I just pictured you as a Vancouver guy.
I started comedy in Vancouver. My family is in Vancouver now.
So when I go home now, it's Vancouver, but, uh.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah. But I started from, uh.
So they also moved after you?
I moved, yes. They, my parents retired quite young and they, I moved to, I
lived in,
I moved to, uh, Europe. They moved to Vancouver. And then when I came home,
they were there.
Oh, so you said, fuck it.
Yeah.
West coast.
Yeah. So, and then, so, and then I started comedy there.
Okay. So Toronto though, ton, you must have seen tons of Greeks at least.
So, yep. My, yes. My sister growing up, her best friend was Greek.
There we go.
Yeah.
Nice.
Yes. And, uh, yeah. So I knew that family.
Yeah. Diner culture extends there.
Yeah.
Restaurant culture.
Yeah.
I don't.
Greeks have restaurants.
They were in, uh, they like the dad, the mom was like a stay at home, uh, mom.
And the dad was in like, uh, uh, he was like a, uh, like trucker. Is that a
Greek thing?
Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so, but yeah, that's pretty cool. But it is a Greek
thing that even
though you're a trucker, you're like, my wife will not work. You know, it's
like, God forbid,
she gets a job probably back then. Yeah.
Did your mom work?
Yeah. She did when it got, at first it was like, oh, I'm kind of bored. Let me
pick up a couple
things here and there. And then very quickly, my father could not run a
business. And then it was like,
she was a waitress. She didn't work while we were little kids. And then once we
got to be
like, you know, in middle school, she was like, fuck it. And she started
working two jobs. It was
kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Waitress and she would repair oriental rugs.
No way.
She's nice with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
If you have a fucked up rug that you need repaired, talk to my mom.
Okay. Let's, uh, I'll get, I'll get her deets after this.
Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you her number.
Uh, so no Albanians though, in Toronto or in Ontario.
I don't think, no, my, my big thing with Albania was there was an episode of
Cheers where they sang
Yeah.
The song about Albania.
Yeah.
And eldest fucking.
You tried to bond with him pre-show.
I did. I was like, oh, Albania. I was like, I'm in.
Here we go.
The Cheers Albania song.
Yeah.
Coach sings. Oh, coach, wasn't he in only one season?
Uh, he did, he did pass.
No, I can't.
Wait, huge shout out to Albania.
You can learn about anything in this world if you'll just follow my little
trick.
Got it?
All right.
Albania.
Here, Albania.
Or should we say Albania?
Why'd you say it like that?
We learn our facts by associating countries with music.
Wow.
Why?
Do you want to study alone?
No.
No.
Can you pause it for a second?
And I'll tell you how effective this method is.
Yeah.
It goes Albania, Albania border, uh, the Baltic ocean.
Is that correct?
And then he goes, you'r