Name: Stavvy's World #24 - Mike Vecchione | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2023-05-15T13:00:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #24 - Mike Vecchione | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #24 - Mike Vecchione | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-15. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #24 - Mike Vecchione | Full Episode

welcome everybody to stavi's world 904-800-STOV
call in we'll solve all your problems i'm thrilled to have a son of italy
here on the podcast a former resident of this fine neighborhood mike was
tearing up just walking
the streets of astoria oh my god he abandoned us for midtown he thinks he's mr
fucking manhattan
now yeah damn it i think i'm mr gramercy kipps bay oh mr gramercy over here
yeah you did but you got
a gramercy vibe about you it it like my chest tightened up as i was walking
down these beautiful
streets smelling all the cologne and body odor past the either european arab or
whatever you know
whatever ethnicity guys oh my god it's so much diversity here it is it's and
that's in yeah now
i know it's old-fashioned diversity too it's like it's like it's like they are
you see it's the
beauty of this neighborhood is you see how we really are all the same people
yeah because it's like
whether it is eastern europeans whether it is like you know indian people
southeast asians uh or uh you
know arabs or whatever it's like we're all all of them are loud all of them are
wearing fake jewelry
to show off the body odor is out of control you know what i mean it's like it's
like they're trying
they're trying to cover it with either cologne or axe body spray you know what
i mean it's like
we're all warm dude all of them are chain smoking everyone's the children are
chain smoking everyone
has a beard when you get to this country you work and chain smoke that's the
thing that it's beautiful
because it's like yeah that you really see people in this neighborhood you see
people that
are like they have adapted to america so beautifully and in their own way that
if they were in their home country they would be having like skirmishes like
border wars with people
that are like one degree darker or like one sect of christianity different it's
like like how it's
like hugoslavia was killing each other here it's like you know those guys are
married to like caribbean
women it's like it's like it's a beautiful thing dude it doesn't make sense it's
awesome racism yeah
yeah it's like they are and the best part is they they are still racist yeah
but in the most non like
non-trivial ways like that's the beauty of this like working class these
working class like this this is
like the kind of place that um like in reality this is the place that like you
know educated uh you know
college like kind of middle of the road liberals are like right we want
diversity it's like meanwhile
those people they've met all of their friends are white and rich right and they
have like one black
friend that they make uncomfortable who they like show off basically but they'll
bring like three
chinese people to black like they have a list of right oh my dinner party has
to have a ratio
whereas here yeah they will probably say the n-word you know what i mean like
for a joke yeah but they
are like they love people of all different it's like i love that i love queens
i love fucking just
this is the most diverse area i think in the country yeah per capita that's
what i think that's what i've said
i've heard that repeated a lot and i say it because it makes me sound cool
because i live here i've lived
here the whole time yeah the banner of diversity but i gotta say when me and uh
dan soder lived together
under a train for 10 years i don't know how you can sleep without a train like
rocking you to sleep
when i when i when i first moved and there was no train rocking because i was
like i can't
sleep without the n the r or the q yeah dude i know that apartment was fucking
awesome it was a great
one and then how about i for the fans i gotta say like you would come over and
then we would go
eat yeah we would go to that restaurant yeah yeah that greek restaurant bc
grill bc grill and you
would talk to them and we would just get treated like kings i don't know what
you said to them in greek
but they just kept bringing food it was unbelievable man well you know what's
the best part that so it's
an albanian which eldis is an albanian and it's out no stop i have to get i
have to get control of
the sound taking over our social clubs the albanians are moving into our
organized crime
you're not gonna like this but a lot of the pizza places in the city are albanian
shut the fuck eldis silence your own mic we're putting you in albanian time out
uh this is like
saying which is croatia isn't it it's a croatian man's cellar you have to sit
there with no food or
water hope it rains so you can wet your fucking dog tongue a little bit um so
that's the it was a rub
because it's like it is it's albanian owned so when we got the greek waiter
yeah i realized this
after the fact okay there was a greek waiter who when i spoke to him in greek
were treated like king
yeah and then there was an albanian waiter who when i spoke to him in greek and
he didn't know greek
yeah he he would fuck our orders up he would forget and i was like how is it
that we get and look at
all this smiling contentedly fucking piece of shit but i was like why is this
why does this go
why does the customer service vary so wildly from time to time and that was it
dude because of
ethnicity it was ethnicity i think we should everybody should meet the albanians
and the greeks
at the neptune diner yeah there's no other place to talk about it yeah yeah
yeah it's the dmc for
albania you ever talk to an old waiter at the neptune diner i talked to him one
day he was like dude we
used to have there's a nightclub down the street we used to have fistfights in
here between greeks and
albanians russians would come in we'd have all these different ethnic fights
this was like a
it's a diner but it was a jail yeah yeah yeah basically no a story used to be
popping bro like
yeah like club like there were people would come from balt like greek people
would come from all
over the eastern seaboard it was like mecca it was like greek trash mecca you
would come because they
would have like traditional greek nightclubs where they're playing like bouzouki
and they're playing like
the real like from greece music and they would just like like i've had i ran
into people who i grew up
with right and it's a little less now than it used to be in like the 90s and
the 2000s but i remember
like our greek school we would take field trips to astoria not new york city
they we would take a bus
drive through manhattan and come to astoria to go to titan the the the greek
supermarket used to live
across yeah we would hit that one there was like a greek record store where you
would buy greek music
i remember that yeah that was across the street for years yeah and there was
like a greek tchotchke
shop where it's like you know uh like the worry beats combo you know just like
icons like all this
shit and like some people would go like you know some people go to a broadway
show or like they they're
like we go to music or when we did go to manhattan the only sanctioned activity
was to look go to the met
only in the greek section literally we would be in the met finish looking at
the greek statues
then they'd be like all right let's pack it up like we wouldn't even bother
looking at any other
it was that was like what i knew of as new york was queens and any greek statue
that was in manhattan
it was so great yeah and like we would have we had like when satellite greek
satellite tv came
uh when they got that in like i don't know like the early 2000s tv yeah yeah
yeah yeah feta tv dude um
when they had that uh they would we would the commercials new york would buy
astoria restaurants
would buy commercials and so every greek person in america who was watching
like who was watching feta tv
who was watching like greek soccer matches and greek news and like greek sitcoms
they replaced the local
greek like you know the greek supermarket commercials it would be for literally
taverna kiklades they would
be like come to you know come to or the supermarket and it was like this mystique
was built up about
like astoria as like the metropolis of greece yeah it was and sometimes and it
would be a big thing like
even one time a baltimore restaurant bought like one commercial on the channel
on the satellite and it
was like a big thing we're like oh oh my god the restaurant my mom works at has
a commercial on on
dish networks greek net greek channel wow dude it was literally it was
literally like that like that was
fame to us as you know we lived across from that greek supermarket which we
never really went to and
then there was a greek music store yep across the street for years and years i
remember me and soda would
leave the apartment sometimes and we go okay i'm going out does anybody need
anything from the greek music
store does anybody need does anybody need an olive tambourine they were selling
shit like that dude dude
it was so great exactly like if there was a funeral home on the corner that is
that turned into a
starbucks right and soda was like i'm never going to that starbucks wow it was
a haunted it was a haunted
starbucks but that's my idea for like instead of college you know you just
assign a young person
to a building whatever that building becomes is what that person does okay
wouldn't that make your
life more rich it's like i was a funeral director now i'm in charge of a starbucks
yeah yeah it's like
if it becomes a music store or whatever it becomes a diner it's like you just
do all i have to adjust
yeah i love that it's a great there's your baby you just you literally just
invented feudalism
where it's like you take a poor person and you and a building that a rich
person owns and the rich
person decides it's no more a funeral home learn how to make coffee you're like
yes sir i will do it
for my rations you just that is feudalism yeah i guess you sometimes you
stumble into feudalism
whatever plot of land you're born on you have to do whatever i say on that plot
of land until you die
but if they sell it to somebody else and that person decides right it's true
you're you're
governed by the rich class yeah you're going by the land i never thought about
it like you purely
invented feudalism it's like exactly how medieval peasants live that's that's
the other thing i was
walking uh i was in la i did i went to go somebody was doing cone their mark or
joe list was doing
cone i just happened to be there so i went to the taping yeah hung out with
them and uh the uber was
like when we got done it was like six or seven o'clock ubers were like 70 bucks
to go like 1.5 miles
yeah so i was like i'm just not paying that on principle so i decided to walk
back and i'm walking
well it wasn't mark because he definitely wasn't you know we can say well it
might have been mark because
he definitely wouldn't pay for your uber so we know that much so we can
eliminate mark right like
it was it might or no that might have been mark if it was like sam or joe yeah
they might have been
caught up in the moment be like let me get you a car buddy but mark was like oh
can i borrow for 20
you know as he's making 40 000 to do one night in la right before conan he
books a gig the same day as
conan so he doesn't lose money doing tv
mark mark does conan and then has three spots yeah afterwards it's like how is
it how is it gonna run
can i go before kelly cuoco
hey kelly you want to switch with me
i gotta i gotta hit the store i gotta follow bobby lee in a half hour so i'm
just walking back and
it's not it's a nice day and uh and i'm looking at the houses and uh you know jp
who booked it uh-huh
he would happen to be driving oh i know he picks me up he goes i'll give you a
ride back gives me a
ride back and i was saying to him i'm like i think the way to go about you know
instead of college and
deciding what you're gonna do it's like you see a house you like you walk up
you knock on the door
and the person opens it and you go what do you do for a living yeah and then
whatever they say you
just do that because that's the kind of house absolutely no because every j