Name: Stavvy's World #35 - Mark Normand | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2023-07-31T22:57:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #35 - Mark Normand | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #35 - Mark Normand | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-31. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #35 - Mark Normand | Full Episode

welcome everybody to stabby's world 904-800 staff call in we'll solve your
problems
we're back in the studio happy to have my boy mark norman in the mix mark
welcome back second
time on the program good to be back i appreciate it yeah and uh before we'll
get into we were just
on the fully loaded tour we were having philosophical discussions about certain
words that you can and
can't say on stage not the one you're thinking of uh there's a lot to cover but
before why don't you
tell the people we're trying to get this out as soon as possible special out
right now on you got
that right soup to nuts soup to nuts baby i don't know if we're supposed to say
the n-word because uh
the writer's strike i'm serious so just say special oh okay yeah oh you're
right technically
you're not supposed to promote something so i can say special because they're
they're the devil right
now oh i see oh true streaming special on a big streaming platform streaming
with an n with an
nice hard n yeah the worst n you could say right now
wow they came out of the blue oh yeah you know to be of the most offensive end
to writers
uh but yes tell that to kramer go
go find it figure out where the fuck it is god damn it i'll just this fucking
thing is
well i feel i hear that pleather really creaking over there i feel bad it's not
me motherfucker
it's the it's the it's the mic let me get in here you fucking prick baby come
on man we had the time
time off we couldn't we couldn't fix the mic arm this is nice everyone everyone
look at eldest's taint
yeah oh we're still on yeah oh we're all right we use every part of the buffalo
here i love it i love it
those thighs are wild eldest jesus honey your balls must be ruined yeah he's
getting smushed
the man chafes big time oh yeah for a sec uh-oh all right hold on hold on
eldest unplugged me in the
middle of the podcast just so you guys know yeah how about that jonah hill huh
i'm trying to fill
time oh you might have to hold oh wait he got it he got it nicely done we might
cut a little bit of
this we don't need every part of it uh all right i won't fuck with it too much
anyway so our friend
mark here pretty nice shape on eldest though right great boss he's got he's got
he's definitely we've
talked about no don't give yourself the applause yeah beautiful hair he does
have a great i will
unfortunately have to give him that thank you thank you but he is uh he does
have we've discussed it
it's a shame he can't like be a woman like or he can't he can't give birth he's
voluptuous he has
that but it's not you know i'm a round i'm a rotund man but i don't have a birthing
body yes his hips
are out of control so true oh this has an hour just sag like crazy oh really i
mean i got this muffin
top here it doesn't feel good but you know hey i'll never i'll never swim with
a shirt on or anything
like that no of course not you believe in yourself i want to see it no he said
on he'll swim with it
off oh good he shows yeah he'll show the titties off hell yeah we're body
positive around here me and
eldest are pretty me and elders are pretty inexplicably okay with ourselves and
have been
for the last 10 years as we've fluctuated through that's all that matters
different levels of fatness
it's all perception it's all about how you feel yeah you've never have you ever
dealt with a
chafed thigh before mark oh i was a fat kid right and remember i skateboarded
in the louisiana heat
so this was a swampy katrina wuhan wet market down here it was bad did you have
any uh did you have
any uh like remedies for it how did you fix it i found well i got a i was a i
hooked up with a
soccer player in college what was his name messy
that'd be awesome if just five three messies just giving it to you from the
back
he's got you he's got you bent over he's on some phone books
the greatest of all time is just smashing your hole in college
anyway so this girl's fuck is fucking you gave great header um sorry um so i'm
fucking this girl
and she was a really hot lady but she was a soccer player and she was like kind
of a hippie
and so there wasn't a ton of uh washing interesting going on and i she gave me
a yeast infection uh eldest knows all about it okay we call it jock itch
both of you are out of your minds you both had yeast infections total yeast
yeah i didn't know
this is pre-internet so i'd have to go i asked a doctor i knew and he was pre-internet
you didn't
go to college in fucking 1982 2003 what is this 2000 2000 it's about yeah 2000
2001 okay
so i guess the internet but it was i got you yeah you know that whole thing
yeah and uh so you
weren't really just web md and all sure sure sure so i asked the doctor he said
oh you got to put
uh cultures on it you need to kill the yeast so i went out and bought yogurt no
you dipped your
nuts in yogurt nuts in a big costco pink yogurt thing which didn't work at all
i tried whatever that's
you went to the bayou doctor oh you gotta take your nuts out put on me some yo
play boy
you gotta get gogut yeah squirt some gogut on your nuts boy fruit on the bottom
balls on top
but yeah i was shellacking that shit on nothing worked i was such an idiot you
know you're a dumb
20 year old of course and then i uh eventually found tough actin tenactin tenactin
and literally
you spray it on and it bubbles it's it's searing it off like a witch first to
you yes yes exactly
and that worked wow interesting yeah but it is bad down there you you know i
know it's pretty bad
tenactin isn't that for feet it's a fungus wow so it works because it's all
fungi athlete's foot
yeah it's your dickhead athletes this this you you fuck a hippie soccer player
who's got a pussy
so musty yeah gives your dick athlete's foot
exactly
that's fucking wild dude eldest you yeah you had it uh i've had it several
times throughout my 20s
interestingly i haven't really had it recently i wonder if my body's just like
used to it or knows
what to do or something but i had a one time evolving had a one time i went to
like the planned
parenthood around like soho or whatever and i was like really worried she was
like he saw you had
herpes yeah i was like what the fuck is on my dick and she was like relax it's
not an scd you're good
and then great greatest news on the planet by the way yeah but then but then
she just kind of like
breezed over the fungus and then she was like but listen your blood pressure is
pretty high
she said i'm overweight and high blood pressure not healthy also this chart
says you're a bit gay
that's awesome dude so fuck her did you get it from a musty lady eldest i don't
know if it's from a
lady i think it was just like i was wearing some tight fucking jeans for how
fat i was and it was hot
this fuck in the city i think that's really what it all comes down to and i'm
uncut so that doesn't
do yeah wait you got it on the penis or just around it when i've gotten it it's
been like little
dots and this is educational folks it'll spread okay oh god it'll spread up to
the shaft a little
bit because it's basically a rash i had it like under my foreskin little dots
on the cock head
like on the actual cock head it was fucked up that sucks dude it wasn't you do
have a you have a loose
sock too yeah you got he's got a lot my man's working with a lot of foreskin
wigwam he could he
could get that taken in no problem i always say i always say it's like a dirty
sock hanging off your
foot after a long day you should get a foreskin tuck yeah you should get a foreskin
foreskinoplasty i can't man
i'm too true no i know dude me neither you know me you know me man yeah we're
on the different
spectrums of uncircumcised my shit's too tight eldus is too loose but we'll but
we'll both we'll go to
our graves with a foreskin what the establishment fears most both sides of the
political spectrum
loose foreskin tied foreskin finally together you've got international secrets
in there
yeah yeah yeah eldest unfurls his foreskin it has a plan to assassinate the
president of the united
states they're like how are they getting coke in the white house they keep
getting it in
oh fuck yeah that's the next mission impossible part two tom cruise has to
fight a syndicate of
uncircumcised terrorists and he loses
how great would that be if like at the end of that franchise tom cruise just
takes a fat l he loses
oh yeah that would be all i always wanted like a big movie to end with like
they just completely
the hero gets his shit kicked in it's gotta happen where are we on like 12 of
those it's crazy this
one is what seven or eight and it's part one damn i can't wait to see it i mean
i love those movies
and i think tom cruise you know really reinvented himself in a cool way sure
and had and kept out of
superhero yeah while also getting to have his own big blockbuster action
franchise right it's just
crazy about those movies it's like the first one was directed by fucking um the
palma
brian the palma and that one's killer that one's great i love that i mean i
like i like all of them
even the ones people say two and three aren't as good yeah i like those too oh
yeah and then and then
they kind of just became these huge action movies but just a little more i mean
not believe they're
none of them believable but just i felt like a little more i kind of gravitate
i'll probably get
crucified for this take i gravitate to those more than the fast and the furious
movies same even though
i like those those are fun but they just there's a little more cringe on those
something about them
just never maybe i'm not a car guy maybe that's right because i do think there's
i i really take
for granted how many people love cars in america i like them i just can't i
mean they're cool but i
just i don't know what it is man i never like if if i have all the money in the
world i'd probably get
like a really nice like electric suv yeah you know what i mean like but that's
my the greeks never
went the car route there's no greek car is there not really yeah yeah i guess
and in greece every
all the roads are so fucking tiny like in greece people are literally driving
like you know four
cylinder yeah yeah like little ass fiat peugeots right all that kind of shit
that very is that is a
very american thing what is your what's your favorite what kind of car do you
really want i mean i
got a i got a 2002 beamer 1973 it's a just a cute little yeah i've seen that it's
cute it's fun it's
like my dream car and i finally bought one during the pandemic and uh
ironically i'm too scared to
drive it it's so pretty and it's in great shape and i just keep it in the
garage and new york is brutal
too brutal like i'm doing a gig on long island i'm borrowing salakuse's car
uh and i took i borrowed his car i have a car
what the fuck does salakuse drive oh you gotta see this hook of junk in the
driveway
he's like you can borrow but it needs an oil change i was like so i just i just
came to the
jiffy lube i found one right by your house i went to the jiffy lube watching
cops in the waiting room
drinking bad coffee you have a car and you borrowed your much less successful
friend's car
you didn't rent the car by the way that's beautiful that's another norman
special true true god forbid
you spend 150 dollars you're about to make probably 20 grand on long island
that's true yeah you got me there you got me i spent 60 on the jiffy lube
okay yeah no you it is it is you know what this one cancels out because you did
kind of do him a favor
too and i'm gonna fill it up on the way back yeah yeah yeah yeah in fact it
would have been cheaper
to rent a car i know you're probably right i'm probably going for 80 or
something it's like a three
hour drive yeah yeah anyway what are you gonna do you're right you live and
learn but you got a great
i saw the whole neighborhood i walked around yeah no it's a great neighborhood
i love it here man
that's why i was like you need anything that was code for like can i come early
oh my bad no no you
could you could have come early we eldest actually got here on time 