Name: Stavvy's World #51 - Joe List and Robert Kelly | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2023-11-21T00:08:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #51 - Joe List and Robert Kelly | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #51 - Joe List and Robert Kelly | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-21. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #51 - Joe List and Robert Kelly | Full Episode

Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World.
This, honestly, I'm not even going to front maybe my favorite episode we've
done the whole time.
Our Thanksgiving special, we have Joe List, we have Bobby Kelly coming on here
in just a second.
Two of my closest comedy family. It felt like Thanksgiving.
This is my comedy father, and Joe feels like my comedy bro.
Took me in when I came in. It's going to be a great, great episode. You're
going to love it.
But first, I just want to hit very important points, December 5th.
I've said it before, if you weren't listening, my special, my second hour
special is coming out on Netflix, December 5th, Fat Rascal.
Put it on your calendars. We need you to watch it. Let's go to the top, baby.
Stavi's World's never ending, but let's get a little, let's get a little
mainstream success as well.
Let's get off the internet. Let's get Elders some health insurance.
So please watch the special, and then if you're in the New York area, December
1st, right before that, December 1st, I'm ending the Fat Rascal tour at the Beacon
Theater.
The last time I'm doing that material live in this beautiful space.
And not only that, if that's not enough good news for you, I have even better
good news for you, okay?
Even better than a huge accomplish, two huge accomplishments in my career.
Freeze Pipe is turning Black Friday into Green Friday, folks.
Their biggest sale of the year.
Visit TheFreezePipe.com today to enjoy their biggest sale of the year.
That's right.
From now until the end of November, you can save up to 30% off a huge selection
of pipes, bubblers, bongs, joint chillers, and more at TheFreezePipe.com.
That's right.
Plus, if you see something you like that's not on sale, use code STAVI, S-T-A-V-V-Y,
for 10% off your entire order.
Now, Elders, start the music.
Let's start this episode off for real, for real this time.
And welcome, Joe, and later on, Bobby.
Welcome, everybody, to STAVI's World, 904-800-STAVI.
Call in and solve all your problems.
We have a very special holiday Thanksgiving edition here with my bro, Joe List,
who's got the holiday socks on.
Tell him why.
Tell him why I have holiday socks on.
Yes, I guess, holiday socks on.
Because I like to be fresh for my guests.
I like to shower right before a podcast.
We were supposed to meet at noon.
Joe's here on time.
I'm still showering.
I'm still washing my little nuts.
And, unfortunately, there was a puddle of water.
You like to drip dry.
Yeah, I like to drip dry.
Three inches of water.
Fresh, I had my fresh, tight, you know that fresh shower, tight-fitting sock.
And just, just a puddle of stave water.
Awful.
Nothing worse than a wet sock.
I'd rather a fist in my asshole than a wet sock.
Look, it's brutal.
And I apologize deeply.
I fucked up big time.
I should not have done it.
And as a result, I'm giving you some holiday socks that you're using.
And you're putting in fat David's mouth.
But these are nice.
You gave me some nice s***.
You replaced my b***h with b***h.
Let's bleep out the no free advertising.
Oh.
Sorry.
I said they're named after your sets.
Hello, folks.
Now people can figure it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I hate b***h.
Whatever.
No, no, no, no.
There's nothing to do.
Oh, you're like anti-capitalist, whatever.
No, no, no.
Listen.
I'm a little anti-capitalist, of course.
But if we're...
Sure.
I can tell by your three-bedroom apartment.
It's my f***ing workspace also.
What do you want from me?
I do live a capitalist nightmare.
My best friend is also my best employee.
Our lives are completely intertwined.
Most of my apartment is taken over by storage and studio space.
These nice socks.
They're good.
Yeah.
They are good, unfortunately.
But we don't...
Eldest has bleeped out all the brand.
Because I'm not against...
Look, if we're going to play inside of the system,
I'm going to get paid if you f***ing say my...
You know what I mean?
Like, the company has to pay me.
They don't get free shit.
Spoken like a true socialist.
Fucking hilarious.
Oh, boy.
This is a perfect...
It all comes apart somewhere.
This is a perfect...
This really is the perfect Thanksgiving episode.
Because it's family arguing about politics.
Right to start.
And our father is late.
Bobby was supposed to be here.
Our father forgot about us.
That's hilarious.
It was Friday.
It was this Friday, and you knew it.
Yes, yes.
So, Bobby Kelly might pop in here, folks.
We don't know.
Let's see if we can play his voicemail.
That was just...
Of course, he yelled.
He called mad at me, because he forgot the podcast.
He's the king of the call me text.
Yes.
Half the texts he's ever sent me say call me.
Yeah, which is infuriating.
I'm like...
Nerve-wracking.
Yeah, just say, hey, nothing, nothing big.
And then I call, and he's like, what's up, dude?
Just checking in.
I'm like, well, just write that.
What the fuck?
Yeah, dude.
I'm having a panic attack over here.
All right.
Let's see if it plays.
Eight words.
Stavros!
That's it.
That's the first one.
That's all he said?
Just Stavros.
And then the second one.
Again.
Yo!
Just two separate voicemails.
Stavros and Yo.
So he claims he left over 20 minutes ago.
Maybe he'll be here in about over, under, Eldest.
Let's set it at 55 minutes and see if Bobby gets here.
Well, these guys always want to say they live 12 minutes away.
Right.
And I'm going to be one of them.
I'm moving to Jersey at some point.
Everybody goes, oh, it takes me 11 minutes with no traffic.
One time, Bobby and I, we were at the cellar, and I was saying I wanted to move
to Jersey Shore.
He's saying you should move to Westchester.
Jersey Shore?
That's right.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I want to be in a nice red county, baby.
You want to be in the Jersey Shore in December?
Yeah, why not?
The ocean's beautiful in the winter.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
You want to be in Astoria in December?
I like it, yeah.
I like it, too.
I like whatever you like.
But we were talking, and I was like, he's like, Red Bank's too far.
And I'm like, I looked it up.
I'm like, it's an hour and one minute.
Put in your address.
And you could see him looking at his phone for a second.
He's like, dude, it's 45 minutes.
And I was like, wait, hold on, pick up your phone.
What the fuck?
And it was like 56 minutes.
I'm like, you got me beat by five minutes, and I'm next to the ocean.
Right.
That's a good point.
Beach Bum Joe, is that the second act?
I think.
I'd like my son to be a nice, oceany, spiritual guy.
Yeah, hell yeah.
A surfer, maybe.
I'm going to get an orange Subaru Crosstrek with a surfboard up there.
Big old Trump sticker on the back.
A Trump surfer.
You want him to be like a on-the-beach kind of conservative.
Yeah, exactly.
That's fun.
That's a type of guy, for sure.
That's San Diego.
That's all San Diego.
Well.
It's like Republican surfers.
I might go Pacific Northwest also.
My best friends out there, you know, get some trees, the mountains, the hiking.
It is nice.
I will say that's the nicest summer I've ever experienced, is the Pacific
Northwest.
Now, the rest of the year, though.
The rest of the year is tough.
It's pitch black at four o'clock and rain all day, every day.
It's got a slow, you want to talk about wet socks.
I know.
That's the wet sock capital of a fucking America, dude.
And Stavi's not going to be next door to give me some nice.
Look at that.
Stop saying the brand.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
I forget.
He could have just said socks.
Yeah.
Now, this is a nice advertisement.
This is an advertisement for our advertisers.
Look what an opportunity you missed, folks.
Joe said a brand name.
Oh, don't flick your clip.
What?
I'm trying to sell some merch here.
I'm trying to move some product.
Oh, damn.
So, and we should congratulate Joe.
The birth of his child.
How about a nice round of applause?
Thank you.
I'm a dad.
That's awesome, dude.
It's weird.
You came and saw the baby.
I saw the baby.
He's so cute.
Which, by the way, we went to the doctor like three days later, and we're like,
we're thinking
about heading up to Thanksgiving.
Is that going to be a problem?
She's like, oh, nobody should be seeing him.
He's not immunized.
And I was like, oh.
She's like, you don't have visitors, do you?
And I'm like, no.
We've had like 48 people over there.
Louie came over.
You were over.
The good news is the people who are seeing him aren't people that travel for a
living
and come into contact with thousands of people per weekend.
Just handing him right over to everybody.
I mean, Louie hasn't washed his hands since 1985.
I'm like, Monus has got to be clean, I think.
He seems like a clean boy.
But yeah, you are filthy.
I'm a filthy.
I'm a filthy little hog.
And then bring him in the mud.
When he was born, I actively had COVID.
I remember because I had just had it.
Me and Eldest.
That's right.
I just had it.
Yep.
Yep.
And then you got it.
So maybe he's stronger now.
I think he'll be okay.
It's funny because people are very anti-vaxxed, but I'm like, well, can you
just hit him now?
Yeah.
Just fucking get him.
Get his bloodstream going.
He's two weeks old.
He'll die.
And I'm like, well, you're telling me you can't be near Stavros.
I'm going to risk this.
Are you not going to take him to real Thanksgiving?
I think we're going to take him and just go, you know, everyone, you know, wash
your hands, whatever.
People do it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think you're fine.
As long as you don't have like 40 people in his face or something.
But I don't trust anybody, particularly my family, but anybody.
If you're like, hey, my baby has no immunity whatsoever, and if he gets a cold,
we have to go to the ER and he could die.
Even in that circumstance, people are still like, I got a cold, but it's not.
Yeah.
Nobody's like actively going to give up a party.
Of course.
Because they have the sniffles.
Oh, dude.
Thanksgiving.
Exactly.
Full of pie.
Yeah.
Imagine if you were still drinking.
Imagine you're in a, take you out of the situation.
You're in an armchair.
You're still drunk Uncle Joe, right?
Full of pie, full of turkey, just fucking watching football.
And somebody says, quick, we have to go to the hospital.
You'd be like, ah, it'll be all right.
Give him some Robitussin.
He's good.
He's okay.
He's good.
Put some talent.
I'll pee him in his bottle.
He'll sleep it off.
Fucking nerd.
But yeah, he's there.
He's a baby.
You held him.
I held him.
He's a good guy.
I was there for his first smelly shit.
Yeah, he's been having some nice big shits.
Karen Fian came over and his umbilical cord thing fell off right when she got
there.
I feel like he was like, oh, I got to clean up.
I know this.
This is a babe.
I thought you were going to tell me his little dick got hard for the first time.
No.
He could just smell her endorphins.
No, my little dick got hard.
His belly button fell off.
And by the way, she is out gifting everybody.
I mean, you brought a nice, beautiful, two-piece tracksuit.
You love it.
But she brought, like, I mean, stuffed animals, a nice outfit.
I mean, she really went all out.
Man, she's really trying to trick her body into thinking she doesn't want kids,
huh?
She's really trying to gift it out of her system and not have to take stock of
her life.
No, she was the best.
She was like, oh, he's still right asleep.
I mean, she's the mom.
Let's get Karen.
Oh, yeah.
She's adopted her now.
You've left Sarah for Karen?
No, I left the baby for Sarah.
Karen and the baby are out.
Oh, okay.
They're like Barbie and Ken.
Sarah and I haven't seen the baby in four days.
That's awesome.
He's at the Fian house.
Oh, that's beautiful.
He's holding the ring light.
Bossy fingers herself.
Yeah, give him some production experience.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely do see that, though.
I mean, I get where, shit, I got to out-gift Karen now.
All right, all right.
Yeah, I mean, it's been laid down.
I mean, it was a nice, it was called, like, Paris something, some kind of nice.
She does have good taste.
Very nice.
She gets really nice stuff.
Fuck.
It's the Thanksgiving outfit.
Like, we're putting them in it.
