Name: Stavvy's World #54 - Dan Soder | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2023-12-11T18:14:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #54 - Dan Soder | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #54 - Dan Soder | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-11. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #54 - Dan Soder | Full Episode

Welcome everyone to Stavi's World. We have a sick show. Soder, the king is here.
This is one of the best episodes we've done all year. Great to have Danny Sodes
back in the mix. And I want to thank everyone who's already watched the special.
It's out on Netflix right now, Fat Rascal. Watch it again. Put it on repeat.
Let it run over and over again on low volume, okay? We're trying to rack those
numbers up, baby.
Please keep watching it. We work very hard on it. Thank you everybody who
already has. Dream come true to have a special out on Netflix. It's so sick.
Please do that. And then look, if you're looking for some freaking Christmas
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Now, let's start the show. Let's get Danny in here. What do you say?
Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World, 904-800-STAV.
Call in, we'll solve all your problems.
Can you believe it's been a year, Eldis?
We just had our anniversary. Sam was our first guest.
We did, that was the year anniversary.
This is our first official into the new year, and we're coming through with Big
Danny Sodes.
Season two of Stavi's World.
Season two of Stavi's World, brother.
When people started calling seasons on podcasts, that's when I knew I was lost.
I didn't know that everyone did seasons.
No, dude, we needed, yeah, we fucked up, Eldis.
Sweep, sweep. We got 'em.
Yeah, we should have come in with, like, blonde hair.
Oh, totally different.
I should have been an Ono Zempic.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about getting zemped up, you know, just coming back.
Yeah, do, like, Mack from Always Sunny.
Yes.
Just come back.
Fat Mack and then abs.
Absolutely shredded.
Yeah.
No, there's going to be a hilarious, uh, we really should do that.
If everyone's getting zemped.
I want to wait to have the Ono Zempic conversation with our good pal, Henry H.
Foley.
Because you know Foley's zemped up these days.
Is he?
Oh, yeah.
Is it dropping?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's dropping weight?
He is.
That's great.
I think that's public knowledge.
I don't think I said any trade secrets.
No, but there should be an Ono Zempic fund where skinny, successful comics give
money
for their friends that are coming up that are bigger.
Yeah.
Well, I want the Ono Zempic, like, the leaderboard.
Oh, yeah.
Where it's like, you have to say who's on it, first of all, and then how much
weight you lost.
I think we're going to start getting into a thing where skinny comics are
betting on bigger
guys than this point.
It's a healthy bet.
Put me on the bet, dude.
Put me on the pool.
It's the opposite of a death pool.
A death pool, of a life pool.
Uh, yeah, dude.
I want to get, I want to get zemped up.
And then what I want to do is I want, you know how they make all the loose skin
afterwards?
Yeah.
I want to make a football out of my loose skin.
Oh, just touching it?
The pig skin.
Oh, my God.
That's great.
Tossing around the pig skin.
And have your hair as the laces?
That's a Halloween shit.
Why don't we do more fun stuff with all the loose fat skin?
That's my question.
Go Ed Gein.
Make a lampshade out of it.
And, or make a little, how about we make a little, like, mini, a dead mini me?
Like a stuffed mini Stavros?
You know what you should do is reach out to a taxidermist.
Yes.
Yes.
And see what they can put together.
Because if you can make a little Jiminy Stavros.
Yeah, because he's in a suit, most of it.
And he reminds you not to eat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't do it.
You got to put him like, yeah.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Or you save him, the holidays are coming up, he's your elf on the shelf.
Just a terrifying, like, yeah.
It's made out of your skin?
A peeled bag.
It'd be so shiny and weird.
Go get pig eyes or something.
Put it in so it's just creepy.
What's the animal with the cutest eyes?
I've seen some dogs with cute eyes.
Yeah, but you don't want to go get dog eyes.
You don't want dog eyes.
You're right.
That would be...
And you can't go human eyes.
No.
That's not where...
You could do fake human eyes.
Oh, like glass eyes.
Glass eyes.
Take a glass eye.
Get a glass eye.
Get a glass eye.
Oh my God.
Yep, yep.
Or make a wallet.
A wallet out of his skin?
There's so much stuff you can do so you can skin.
Dude, I'm telling you.
Now, what's...
While it's good because you could probably dye it and people wouldn't know.
Oh, you just put out a hunk of flesh.
But it would have to be like blue or something.
That is...
41 dollars.
What's something that would not...
That you would...
Because, okay, if we did a football, we would have to dye the skin
and dimple it.
And only after you've been playing catch for like 20 minutes, you'd tell people...
By the way...
That would be an instant throw up for a couple of times.
By the way, that's my...
Those are my ass cheeks.
Yeah, you go, you know, it's funny.
You know what you're touching right now?
Side of my hip.
See where the laces are?
See where the hair lace...
That's actually my hair.
Oh my God.
The hair is the toughest part.
We have to get rid of it.
Because I don't know about you.
One of my least favorite things in the world is when you get a piece of chicken
from the grocery store
and you get the little feathers on it.
Oh.
That...
I'm like, I don't want to be reminded.
I know I'm killing an animal.
Yeah.
But I...
I like it packaged.
I like somebody else doing it for me.
I don't want to see a feather.
So I wouldn't want to see a hair on my...
On my pig skin of my own...
On my football of my own skin.
You find like a picture of the chicken's kid.
Don't want that.
That it kept on it.
Yeah, yeah.
A little chicken school photo.
Well, they just got to laser backgrounds.
In the chicken world, they just...
Life Touch just started using laser backgrounds.
It really fucks me up.
I think you should...
I think you should put it in a cake.
Just have it.
Okay.
You don't even have to mold it or anything.
Like fondant?
Yeah.
Like use my skin as like the...
But not over an actual cake.
Not over an actual cake.
Just keep it in one of those.
So you could show it to people.
And be like...
Oh, keep it in a cake.
Like the glass thing.
Glass container.
The glass...
The cake container.
Yeah, so you can go...
Oh, look at that.
Would you like to touch my tummy?
And it's just a shape.
It's just a piece of skin.
You could slap it.
Every time you don't have a snack.
Oh, you know what you could do?
Make a condom out of your own skin.
Genius though.
Feels like skin.
I mean, it is skin on skin.
Why are we using fat people's skin for condoms?
We make lambskin condoms.
Yeah, she's like...
Why does some bitch from like five...
My 500 pound life or 600 pound life...
Give me her neck.
Let me nut into her neck while I'm getting pussy.
It does feel like the real thing.
It feels like...
Let me take my...
Let me take my skin sock off you.
Do you mind if we use a skin condom?
Smells like pork rinds.
You take it out.
I'm gonna dry it in the bathroom.
I'm gonna wash it and dry it.
So it gets a little clammy keeping it in my pocket.
We're coming up with some great applications for fat people's skin.
Can you book Shark Tank right now?
Yeah.
Hey, sharks.
Mm-hmm.
What if it was a condom made of your own skin?
Yeah.
What else can you make with your own skin?
This is great.
You could make...
Now, I guess...
Yeah, skin condoms good.
Look, that's even something for lesbians.
We...
Like a dental dam.
Well, what I'm saying is you put a...
A dental dam...
Ooh, a dental dam of fat person's skin that's...
Now, what...
The interesting thing we have to discuss is...
I don't know, dude.
Here's what we have to discuss.
What's the curing process like?
It's gross.
Because it can't be fresh.
You're right.
Like, we don't need rotting human skin.
I'm just sitting over here a fan of industry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My question is...
Yes.
What if we take...
Mm-hmm.
What if we reform murderers and serial killers...
Yes.
...and they do the curing because they're used to dealing with...
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
I'm just saying, let's make it a...
Let's get...
Yes.
We don't...
They don't need to be stamping license plate for 25 cents an hour.
We got machines...
We pay them a living wage.
We pay them a living wage.
Sorry, I let one rip.
You might catch it in a second.
Buddy, you can shit your pants and I'll never know.
You know I can't smell, right?
At all?
No, dude.
I thought you had like a little...
A whisper of it.
Gone.
Gone?
It's my gate on.
What?
That thing?
Yeah.
That's a beautiful nose.
Oh, thanks, man.
A nose like that not to smell?
That's a travesty, dude.
It's pointed down.
If I point it up...
Nothing.
What happened?
Smoked cigarettes my whole life.
That's it?
And then I think COVID put it out for good and I just...
It's like a process to get back like...
Interesting.
10%.
That sharp little nose, dude?
Nothing, dude.
Damn.
You might...
So you could rip around me.
That's great to know.
You see me?
You see me out in these streets?
Fall.
That's great to know because I had a tough one last night.
I was...
I just...
And I didn't even do anything crazy.
I just had a couple tacos, right?
But I think the meat must have not been so good.
I think I had mildly tainted meat.
I had...
Because it was like...
It felt like food poisoning, but I never had to throw up.
You know when you just wake up and you're just...
You're taking a shit.
You're in pain.
Yes.
And you're so hot.
Yes.
You're like so hot.
A sweaty, nudie poop.
Dude, nude.
At a certain point, I'm just...
I get on all fours.
You start making noises that are more moans.
Not of sensual pleasure.
Begging for release from God.
Dude, I had one.
I worked...
I was laying on the...
Like putting...
You're so hot.
You put your fat stomach, in my case, on the cold porcelain floor.
for you don't have to be you don't have to be fat to know how enjoyable that
sounds i hope it made
this noise i had a um about a year ago i was in spokane washington and got
there a day early
yep and i was like oh well i'm in i like brought my switch yeah yeah yeah cool
dude i'll get high
play video games get stuff done tomorrow and i ordered like a french dip
sandwich and a caesar
salad okay dude i ate that and i woke up like that and i was like oh and i went
i usually
most of the time you'll have that situation go back to bed you'll wake up and
you'll be fine fine yeah
i went to bed i woke up had that took a dump was like this feels weird yeah
went back to sleep woke
up violently threw up violently shit for 24 hours
oh did you have a thursday show or that 