Name: Stavvy's World #59 - Andy Haynes and Mike Recine | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-01-15T12:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #59 - Andy Haynes and Mike Recine | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #59 - Andy Haynes and Mike Recine | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-15. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #59 - Andy Haynes and Mike Recine | Full Episode

Oppa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. We have a great episode. Two of my
favorites,
Mike Racine and Andy Haynes. You're going to love them if you don't know them
already.
Before we get going, I just want to let you know, it's still January. We're
almost sold out of the
2024 calendar. I want you to get them before they're gone. This is beautiful.
Nowhere else,
no one else is offering a calendar where there's a nude obese man on every
single page, okay?
Act Fast, Stavi.biz for a deal of a lifetime, the calendar. And, you know, like
we said,
the Ravens are going all the way. If you want to celebrate that, purchase a
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That's what people
from my hometown are like. Buy the t-shirt right now, also available on Stavi.biz.
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supporter of the brand,
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available on Netflix right now. Tell your friends. Whatever you're going to do,
you don't want to
do anything, just hit us with a like. Just support us. Whatever you want to do,
thank you for watching
and enjoy this episode with our pals Andy and Mike Eldis. Hit the music one
more time.
Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in and solve your
problems.
What a beautiful year 2024 has been so far.
Huh, boys? I got two of our favorites in the studio.
Two of the most hard, I won't, you know, we're trying not to curse in the first
two minutes.
Hard thingied guys.
Are you uncut?
I wish.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
You're uncut, right?
Of course.
Yeah, dude.
Of course.
I've seen Andy's dick, actually.
How is it?
It's nice.
It's flaccid, but it's nice.
I'm like a good, uh, I do a good, uh, show you my dick, like, surprise thing.
Like, if the boys are hanging out, I'll do, like, a, I'll walk through the room
naked.
Like a rare bird.
Yeah.
A rare bird.
It looks like a bird of paradise flower, but that's because I have some
circulation issues.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It gets a little, it gets a little blue.
It's blue into the testicles.
My kid is uncut, though, proudly.
Respect.
Good.
I believe you had that conversation beforehand.
Oh, okay.
No, no, when you were thinking about it, because I'm a pro, pro.
Yeah, I think I put you on speakerphone with my family.
I did, yeah.
And I said, tell them.
And I, I argued my case.
I remember, I remember your wife yelling and arguing against me.
Oh, yeah.
And me being like, no.
Yeah.
It's gotta be.
Well, she's like, hardcore anti-circumcision.
Oh, really?
Then maybe somebody else was.
Maybe.
Maybe somebody else in the background.
I think it's gone.
I think it's on the way out.
Yeah.
Like, I just don't think people are doing it.
Well, I don't know.
It's because Israel's killing all those children.
All right.
So, everybody's like, no, no, no.
Everyone's distancing themselves.
I think so.
Well, Muslims are uncircumcised.
Are they?
Did you know that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I didn't know that.
That broke my heart when I found that out.
Yeah.
I thought we would, I thought that was like, we're gonna bring us together.
Yeah, yeah.
Greeks and Arabs riding against circumcision.
Right.
But no.
So, who's even uncut then?
Just Greek?
Just Europeans?
Just everyone.
Everyone but.
What about the Chinese?
Yeah.
What about the Ruskies, too?
Ruskies uncut.
Yeah.
Ruskies uncut for sure.
South America's probably uncut?
South America's uncut.
Okay.
Wait, are Catholics uncut?
Because that's like a, that's a huge indicator.
Oh, I don't know if it's.
Catholics are circumcised.
It's like, no, because, yeah.
Do Chinese circumcise their children?
Oh, okay.
Only 2.6 of men are circumcised in China.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
So, maybe we lost Muslims, but we're back.
We're riding with the Chinese.
All right.
My Asian brothers.
We're gonna get there.
Yeah.
That's a nice force.
Yeah.
I think.
I'll be riding with the Mongol hordes at my back.
Against, against the circumcised.
Waving the flag of foreskin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Foreskin does look like a yurt, you know?
So, it's like very appropriate that they would keep it.
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
I shot a little short film at a temple a couple weeks ago, and I told my wife,
I go, yeah,
and downstairs there was a brisk going on.
And she goes, oh, you mean like mutilating a baby's genitals against their will?
Oh, wow.
Good for her.
Yeah, yeah.
That's awesome, man.
Yeah.
She's come around.
What do you think made her, what do you think just.
A documentary on Amazon.
Really?
Yeah.
She's on the fence about it.
You're telling me.
Dude, that's so funny to think about somebody.
Somebody trying to like unwind after a hard day's work and be like, what should
I, should
I watch Seinfeld reruns?
No.
Should I check out the game?
No, I'll check out.
I'll just fucking put on this.
It's called like Clift or something.
What's this?
Stolen.
Stolen.
She's eating like a sweet green salad during that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a tough thing to be super passionate about because at the end of the day,
no one really
wants to think about a little boy's penis too long.
Right, right, right.
You know, it's like the meter for when that gets uncomfortable, it's quick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's what our enemies want, folks.
Yeah, that's what they want.
They're using that against us.
They don't want us to spend 30 minutes on this podcast talking about baby
little dicks.
Little baby dicks.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
They'll bury us in the algorithm because of it.
But we will charge on.
Yeah.
We will continue to talk about it.
We will keep on talking about baby dicks.
Every time Racine's on the show, the view count is down.
I don't know why.
Why did we lose monetization?
I hate when Racine gets political.
Andy, for sure, if you'd had a boy, you would have kept him unclipped.
Yeah, for sure.
Did that ever, or did you guys know before you even had the conversation that
you were
going to have a girl?
Did you guys ever discuss it?
Yeah, I mean, that fucking, like, every single one of them.
We have six embryos from doing IVF.
That's not how we got pregnant, but we did IVF.
They were all girls.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
The only one.
You got girl jizz.
Yeah.
You got girl jizz.
No, I think we just, Rosebud's so domineering that she just was like, her DNA
was in the
womb being like, we're going to have a girl.
But we had one.
Both can be true.
You can have girl jizz and your wife can be a domineering woman.
Let's just call it because she's mean.
Why don't we say that?
I'm really manly.
I'm going to say both.
I'm going to have my cake and eat it too.
I'm going to have a European modern version of masculinity.
And my wife's a bitch.
The most I can give you is, like, assigned male at birth transitions.
That's the highest I can go with your jizz, Andy.
I'm sorry.
That's the most masculine I can give you, pal.
It sure might take some hormones to fully make it a girl, but it's a girl.
I can't believe I'm getting roasted in the one place I felt safe.
Sorry, man.
It calls him like I sees him.
Yeah.
Well, I'm trying to have another kid.
I'm getting yelled at for my sperm not being good enough.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What's wrong with your sperm?
Slow?
I don't know.
Count too low?
I'm like, what about your eggs, bitch?
What about those stale eggs?
Yeah.
Old men can have babies pretty easy.
Right.
I'm like, I bet if I had sex with my 19-year-old cousin, you know, if he'd get
pregnant.
Look up factors that give you, like, good sperms.
Let's see what the scene's up against here.
Well, there's a fertility doctor on Instagram that studies, like, sperm samples,
so you'll
see, like, the cells, like, moving around.
Oh, so you can mail a lady your jizz, and she'll look at it?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
It's funny.
What is she saying?
I did not sign up for that.
She kept on getting envelopes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just, like, dripping out of the bottom of a manila envelope.
Don't even open that one.
Please put it in a baggie.
So, you know, we supply vials.
Putting it in an envelope.
What happened about her?
And she just...
Well, so she looks at these, like, sperm samples, and it's crazy how much they're,
like, some
of them are moving around, some of them not so much, but they're alive.
Yeah, it makes you feel like a connection.
To the jizz?
You're like, maybe it should be illegal to jack off, because you are murdering.
Hell no, dude.
You are kind of killing babies.
I'll stomp those jizzes.
Yeah.
No problem.
I guess it's different for me, because I'm a parent.
That's true.
I don't know what happened.
I had a child, you know, three months ago, but I started taking, like, hair
shit, like,
a pill, like, maybe four months ago, and I can't shoot ropes anymore.
Really?
I think it's the pill.
You gotta go bold and have the ropes, dude.
But it's, like, whenever I, like, whenever I cum out.
What's coming out?
It's cum is coming out, but it's coming out, like, like, like sap on the side
of a tree,
you know?
Like saps.
Like, it's just, like, open up, like, an old oil well or something.
What if you wait a while?
What if you save up your nut?
Yeah, give it, like, a month and a half.
Jesus Christ.
Give us five days no nuts.
There's so many holes in the walls of my apartment.
It is cool when you don't jack off for, like, a week, and then you finally do,
and there's
a lot of nice.
Fire one out, nice.
You do, yeah.
You feel great.
You feel awesome.
It is true.
And that is, you know, it's interesting.
What does that say about us wanting big, fat lows?
Why is a big load better than a small one, you know?
I think you feel like you did something, you know?
I think you just feel more of, like, that's more...
Virile.
Yeah, you feel...
It's more of you.
There's more chance that that load could have led to a baby.
Yeah.
Even though I don't want to, you know, don't want a baby, it's nice knowing I
have the
capabilities.
Would you get a vasectomy?
Would I?
Yeah.
Just in theory?
Yeah.
If I, let's say I had kids and I was done.
But you want kids someday.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm going to keep it open, but if I was, if I had a kid and I was like, all
right, enough
of this, definitely I would get snipped up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For sure.
It's weird how it's just, like, very easily reversible, though.
Is it?
Of a vasectomy.
Apparently.
That's what I've heard, yeah.
If it is, then maybe I should do it.
Like, to, like, to get rid of your, like, to do a hysterectomy as a woman, you
have
to, like, basically, like, give up, you know, just, like, a decade of feeling
normal.
That's awesome.
But for guys, we do, like, a snip, and then we're like, actually, I do kind of
want
my balls back.
Yeah, yeah.
No one asked you to look that up, Eldis.
Don't go rogue.
Don't go rogue producing.
We're coming back to the other question.
Just curious.
Yeah, this is not Eldis' Google time.
This is Stavi's World podcast.
We all know where you come when you have a second.
These guys have looked into it.
Yeah.
So let's go into why my jizz might be subpar.
Okay, lifestyle choices can lower sperm numbers.
You've been smoking?
Smoking, drinking alcohol, and taking certain medications can lower sperm.
Oh, okay.
Other causes include long-term sickness, such as kidney failure, childhood
infections.
Did you ever have mumps?
And chromosome or hormone problems, such as low T.
Well, I'm not low T, so let's...
Yeah, let's see what else.
The gap between sexual activity, infection of the prostate, usage of pills to
boost sexual
performance...
So if you don't fuck that much, it's less chances?
I don't know.
I do think it's bad for you not to come.
I know that.
You can get this thing called epididymitis.
Yeah, you gotta let...
Oh, didn't you hear that, sweetie?
You guessed?
Eldis had epididymitis.
I had it this year.
Yeah?
I got a UTI.
Were you doing nofap?
No.
I got a UTI, and it shot back to my nuts, and it made my left ball huge.
Did you get to see it?
I didn't see his fat ball.
He did