Name: Stavvy's World #67 - Dan St. Germain | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-03-11T12:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #67 - Dan St. Germain | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #67 - Dan St. Germain | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-11. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #67 - Dan St. Germain | Full Episode

Opa! Welcome everyone to Stavi's Rope. We have a great episode for you with the
very funny Dan St. Germain.
But before we start, we wanted to thank our presenting sponsors here.
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And I love that little cha-ching sound almost as much as I love this little
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We slurp it off all the time here.
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Eldest, hit the music again.
Let's start the show.
Oppa!
Welcome everybody to Stavi's World.
9-0-4-800-STAV.
Call in.
We'll solve your problems.
We got Dan St. Germain on the couch all the way from a different part of Queens
to Astoria.
We won't dox him.
We won't dox him.
I waved at an invisible studio audience.
No, they're there, dude.
They're in the back.
You're going through all these signs of dementia.
Yeah, people don't understand this.
Eldest has, there's 800 people behind Eldest.
That's why the energy of the show is so good.
We got Dan in here.
He's got a new special out right now.
Dan's Fatty Dance.
Go watch it on the tube.
On the tube, man.
On the tube, on YouTube right now.
Click out of, watch a couple more minutes so the view counts.
Watch for three more minutes and then go to Dan's special, watch the whole
thing, come back.
Then we get two views out of the whole.
Keep going back and forth so me and Dan get multiple views.
If you want to put mine on silent while you're watching pornography, I'm fine.
That's tough, though, to get even a glimpse of you while they're beating off.
Depends on what you're into.
Yeah, I mean, certainly.
I don't know why I defended myself on that.
Certainly.
There is definitely a demographic.
I think if me and you, if life went different, me and you could make a lot of
money on a different part of OnlyFans.
Oh, yeah.
You know, just sucking tennis balls out of each other's ass.
You must have gotten a lot of, a lot.
I just feel like you're a specific type for, because the beard, the hair, you
know.
I assume you're a hirsute man.
Well, before I was married, there was a guy that every four months would just
message me like,
Hey, man, you want me to suck you off?
No, I'm good.
But once you got married, he stopped?
Yeah, he was Catholic.
That's awesome.
Some gay guy in your DMs like, well, he's taken now.
He's taken now.
Every four months, same guy?
Same guy, yeah.
No, okay, interesting.
Never, yeah, I'm trying to think.
You probably get, you've gotten hit on by some bears.
Oh, bear appreciators.
Although I will say, one hurt my feelings recently, where there was a guy who
would harass,
like, just talked about wanting to, you know.
And I hadn't really heard from him for years.
And, you know, I don't really pay attention.
I don't check my DMs the way I used to.
I'm trying to get away from my phone, all this shit.
So in my head, I'm like, well, you know.
And I kind of forgot about the guy, to be honest with you.
And then I posted, I think, the newest, some naked picture.
Back in the days where I was posting, basically just nude.
Like, I actually had people not even know I was a comedian.
I think there were people, like, in 2014, 2013, who thought I was truly just a
nude gay model.
Like a softcore nude gay model.
And back in those days, I heard from this, from just some fat, and he's fat as
shit too, by the way.
Some fat guy from Texas, wouldn't fuck him.
Not because he's fat, just wasn't my, not a cute enough guy either, okay?
Right, right, right.
Let me put that, let me just say right now, not hot enough, even if I was homosex,
to have, for me to fuck him, right?
Right, right.
No Matt Reif, this guy.
No, no, no.
That's not my type either, to be honest with you.
I don't know.
Who would I fuck if I, all right, let's.
Anyway, let me finish this story.
Then we can talk about our gay fantasies, our thinly veiled way to just talk
about the stuff we actually want, under the guise of comedy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As com just blows down our pant leg.
We're so hard, you just see a fucking, a little, I'm just describing a man's
ass, and my dick gets hard.
Anyway, I put the newest, whatever, some naked picture from the calendar, and a
guy, I forgot about this guy, and he just comments publicly, not even a DM.
He's like, I miss the, I miss before, this fatty era, and he's this gay guy who
wanted to fuck me, because I was a fat, I'm too fat.
I fatted out of being fetishized by guys who want to fuck fat guys.
I have to go, I thought it was like, like heavyweight.
Once you cross over, I'll just have the air conditioner running.
It's got too hot.
Yeah, there's three, yeah.
The room is like, the room is getting turned on.
Three fat, closeted bears are talking about fucking other bears.
Oh man, this whole room could make some money on that sector act.
Who am I talking about, dude?
Just fucking, just all of us wind up like a snake eating its own tail.
God, that's so disgusting.
And I guess to answer the, yeah, so anyway, that guy pissed me off, because he's
also very fat and not hot.
Okay, now he does, he's a very groomed gay man.
Yeah.
He's got like the, you know how Puerto Ricans have their lines very, that's the
thing that kind of crosses over between straight Puerto Ricans and gay, I guess.
Puerto Ricans do their beards like a sixth grader thinks a beard should look.
Yeah.
You know, like they're like, I gotta have a Nike swoosh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is true.
That is, yeah, yeah, they have a little, but this guy had kind of like the,
such a, a very gay, like the lines were, they borrowed from the Puerto Rican
style.
But it's kind of like, you've seen that, like who's that guy who's friends with
young Miami, that gay guy?
Anyway, there's some gay, there's some, there's some black gay guy.
There's some gay, there's some gay, black guy who has, who has facial hair, but
is very femme.
Anyway, whatever.
Fuck that guy for saying I'm too fat for him to fuck.
You never could have sucked my cock, pal.
Okay?
Oh, shit.
You never, even when I wasn't this fat.
Throwing it down.
And I mean that.
And I suppose if I had to get sucked off by a guy, he would have to remind me
of a woman.
Now that I'm real, now that I'm all worked up and thinking about it, you would
have to be a slight man.
Yeah, it's gotta have like.
Like, a little blush.
Yeah, just soft lips.
Soft lips.
That's the grossest description.
Just quivering, soft lips.
A supple mouth.
A supple mouth.
A mouth hungry.
A delicate mouth.
With a thirst for my sweat.
A dry tongue that can only be lubricated by my saliva, sweat, and nut.
Just that kind of stuff, you know.
Somebody's cooking up a brisket.
Anyway, that's a cool introduction for our friend Dan here.
Yeah.
And before we even started recording, you were saying, this is very interesting.
You looked at Eldis.
You guys haven't met.
Yeah.
You and Eldis don't know each other.
You looked at Eldis and there was like a look.
Actually, when you walked to the door, there was a weird look in your eye.
I'm like, what's going on with him and Eldis?
Did they kiss?
Yeah.
It was like that kind of look.
And there was something where I was like, do they know each other?
There's a look of like when you like someone or when you have beef.
And we had a look of like, I remember you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
From oceans of time ago.
From hundreds of years.
And Eldis had a weird look too.
And then he was like, wow.
Later, Eldis said he just kind of, he was like, oh, that guy looks kind of like
me.
But you said that Eldis reminded you so much of your father.
Oh, yeah.
You were having like flashbacks.
Let me tell you, the look was similar.
When I was a movie usher, when I was like 22 in IFC, I was like bored.
And I was singing that Five for Fighting Superman song.
Yes, of course.
I go, I'm just here to find.
And another bearded fat guy walks out of the bathroom and goes, the better part
of me.
And we like sang it together.
And then just didn't say anything else.
Oh, wow.
That's so intimate.
But that was kind of like the look.
Yeah, he looks like my father.
That's so interesting.
Yeah.
I feel like we're both looking at each other and see your father somehow.
I don't even know what he looks like.
You don't look like Eldis' father, but I also feel like, yeah, he has a similar,
he sees you as a father figure.
Like we have a look of like a men meeting across the plains and then hugging as
the sunlight cascades in back of us.
Was your dad good or bad?
He was a good dad.
Great dad.
He was a good dad.
Oh, okay.
So he's not a piece of shit.
You're filled with adoration for Eldis.
Nice.
Yes, it was good.
It wasn't like you piece of fucking shit.
I mean, like there's, you know, like we have our issues here and there, but he's
good.
You know, he's a playwright.
He's a very theatrical kind of dad.
Oh, wow.
Interesting.
Dad.
Huh.
That is a way your life could have gone for real.
Where'd you grow up?
North Jersey in Rutherford.
Okay, okay, yeah.
Eldis could have a little, Eldis could 100% be some weird suburban, like
Midwestern, whatever, like drama teacher.
You 100% could go that route.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where he just talks about, oh, yes, I used to live in Brooklyn.
You know, he's the coolest guy in the town just by virtue of having been in New
York for a decade.
That's interesting.
Playwright, huh?
Yeah.
So the art, you were, there was always art and shit in your house.
There was like plays everywhere.
Wow.
Like I read a ton of plays growing up.
Huh.
And yeah, I can't fight.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the other, spoiler alert.
Like my dad was like, this is how emotional, like my dad never hit me.
Right.
But like one time my dad, like while he was fighting with me, he like grazed my
hand and I go like, you hit me.
You know, he's like, oh, shitty little kid.
Yeah, yeah.
Like you hit me.
And he goes, that's not hitting.
And he slaps himself across the face and his like glasses go across the room.
And he's like, that's hitting.
And I'm like, I want to call CPS just for embarrassing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like you have to get, can you get a real dad who knows how to throw a punch in
here?
A theatrical self slap is so funny.
But I would be like, we would go to his play premieres and there would be these
old gay guys.
It was like, I didn't know they were gay and they would have like ties and they
would be like Greco Roman, naked guys wrestling literally on each other.
And be like, be like, oh, you're so handsome.
And me, because I wasn't getting hit on my girls.
I was like, thank you so much.
I didn't pick up.
I just, I just didn't pick up on it at all.
I was just so pumped.
That's so funny.
Do you have any siblings?
Yeah, I have a sister.
She's going to school to become a social worker.
Okay.
No art for her, huh?
Just you.
No art for her.
You're the only good artist in the family.
What?
I guess.
The lowest art.
The dark art.
Of course.
It's barely an art form.
It's barely a, yeah, it's, it's definitely, it's up there with like, I don't
know, like snake charming, I guess.
It's barely anything, yes.
It's barely anything.
Yeah, I fully have said over and over again, I'm against the elevation of stand-up
comics of like.
For sure.
As, I mean, the norm thing of like, we're not modern day philosophers,
philosophe