Name: Stavvy's World #69 - Ian Fidance and Mike Recine | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-03-25T10:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #69 - Ian Fidance and Mike Recine | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #69 - Ian Fidance and Mike Recine | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #69 - Ian Fidance and Mike Recine | Full Episode

Oppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavis World, 904-800-STAV.
Call in, we'll solve all your problems.
This is a joyous day. It's Greek Independence Day today, fellas.
Oppa!
Yep.
Psegnorizapodichu!
Quiet.
Service.
Put your hat back on. You don't get to pay respects to the great Greek nation.
Doesn't look like you're paying much respects either!
The first Ian bomb of the day, folks.
We're on the board!
Greek Independence Day.
So I had to bring the two people that the Italians, the Romans, stole
everything from us,
and a man who lives his life as homosexual as the ancient Greeks.
Mike Racine.
Two people that both continue the Greek legacy in their own ways.
Ian and Mike, two favorites, two Stavis World, two Stavis World, absolute faves.
Both have, Mike's special just came out. What's it called?
It's called I'm Normal.
I'm Normal.
You can watch it on.
Get it right now on YouTube. Pause this right now. Go watch that.
Give it a click.
Give it a click, you animals.
The guy's got a link in the bio.
Link in the bio.
I do, and I would love it if you could just watch it.
Yeah.
You know?
Literally, please watch it. Mike's one of the funniest guys.
Yeah, well, let's just say, of the people on this couch, definitely watch Mike's
special.
One of the funniest guys.
One of the funniest guys.
Implied the two funniest guys.
And we've got another guy who I really love.
Ian's so desperate for affection, he didn't realize I was shitting on his
comedy by being like,
one guy's funny, and I love this other guy.
Do you have, when's your special coming out, Ian?
You said you're, do you know yet or no?
It is out.
This is coming out.
It is out.
This is coming out when?
Greek Independence Day, March 25th, as we all know.
Oh, yeah.
Then it's coming out on Ian Independence Day, April 4th.
Oh, so we're right in the middle.
Mike's just came out.
Ian's is coming out next week.
Yes.
Two great specials from two great friends of mine.
Ian Finance, Wild, Happy, and Free.
YouTube.com slash being Ian.
I'm sorry, it's called Wild, Happy, and Free?
Yeah.
Are you a 42-year-old woman that just got divorced?
Yeah.
Ian got her groove back.
Yeah.
You gotta be good.
You gotta be bold.
And if you really love the specials, guys, go to HomeGoods.
You'll find a wooden sign with those words written on it as well.
That's good merch.
That's good merch.
Ian's gonna go get the clearance rack at Marshalls and resell Wild, Happy, and
Free.
I swear to God, I was thinking about calling it Live, Laugh.
That's good merch.
Don't you sell people enough bullshit all the time?
Yeah.
What's your merch?
What's the Ian merch store?
My merch?
Yeah, plug that, man.
Fucking sick merch.
Ian's like the peddler from Oklahoma.
Yeah.
I got fucking Marlboro shirts that say Finance, and on the back, it's the Marlboro
insignia,
and it says IF, Sig, Ska, Cats.
And then I got shirts that look like Suicidal Tendencies.
It says Ian Finance.
I got a trucker hat on.
It says Wild, Happy, and Free.
That's awesome, dude.
That's great.
I got some other sick stuff.
Go to coldcutsmerch.com slash Ian Finance.
Coldcutsmerch.
Who's that?
Johnny Coldcuts.
Johnny Coldcuts.
Nice.
The friend of yours, Mike?
Yeah.
Sounds like a fucking fat wop.
Oh, Joe DeRosa is doing your...
Joey Coldcuts.
He's doing your merch, too.
God, I can't wait.
I would love to see the usurious rates Ian is paying from JohnnyColdcuts.com.
What?
He's probably taking 70% of your merch.
Dude, if I pay 40 bucks per shirt, I net.
Fuck.
I'm just guessing.
No, no, no.
That's just my guess.
No, it's good.
That's good.
All right.
Point rescinded.
Yeah.
Ian, I got a great idea.
We'll sell beer koozies with your name on them.
I'll take 75.
What's your merch?
My merch?
I had t-shirts for a little bit that I was selling just through email.
You know, I was doing it kind of old-fashioned.
You're still selling pasta sauce?
No, not really.
That was awesome, though.
That was useful.
Yeah, thanks.
My heart's not really in it anymore.
Of course.
It's kind of a pain.
You're out of the pasta sauce game?
I'm out of this pasta sauce game.
You can't ship pasta sauce.
It's hard to ship, yeah.
Ah, that's tough.
Well.
What happened, man?
What was the end of the pasta sauce for you?
I think I just got tired of carrying the jars around.
It was a lot.
I do remember you selling them at Funny Moms.
You just double-parked your car, come on, everybody.
Yeah.
Popped the trunk in these fucking, like, these, like, you know, Comptown fans
were like, thank
you, Mr. Racine.
Thank you for your basil sauce.
Those were good times, man.
Good sauce.
I had a jar myself.
Very good sauce.
Very good sauce.
Yeah, got it from you at the creek years ago.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Yep.
That's beautiful, man.
Memories.
How did, why, let me ask you this, Ian.
Why did you feel the need to, you were cut, when did you leave your house?
Here we go.
Well, it's just.
Here we go.
Let's get into it.
Let's get into it.
It's one thing.
Go ahead.
The moment you walked into my home, you started shitting.
You needed to shit, which feels like, have you been out all day?
I have.
Where were you before this?
Podcasting.
And who, whose, whose facilities were you at before this?
My podcast.
Your person, so you were at your house.
I was at my house.
We, okay, I'm on.
You couldn't shit in your own house?
I'm on.
In the defense, the bathroom at Gas Digital is disgusting.
Oh, yeah, you live there.
That's right.
You know where I live, DK.
You're on the podcast.
Some say too often.
Anyway, I, I, dude, I got an hour and a half of sleep.
I could not sleep last night.
I woke, I fell asleep at 8.30.
I woke up at 10.
I woke back up again.
You come from your house and you shit in my house immediately.
Yeah, because we left.
I had, I met him.
Don't give me this.
Are you, no, I will give it to you.
The first thing I had to eat today.
Stop, he took a shit in my car, too.
Well, Benny had his phone.
He used my toddler potty.
I had, I had yogurt and I had string cheese and too much coffee and I felt like
I was going
to get sick in his car.
He had to turn the window down and just pull it down.
And what about you?
But why, what stopped you from shitting in your home is all I'm asking.
Because I didn't have to shit at my house.
It hit me when I got here.
Because I had some cigarettes flowing, some coffee.
And also, let me reverse Uno you.
How come you don't have any toilet paper?
Because I'm running a fucking podcast here, not a port-a-potty business.
For yourself.
I got my-
A man of your stature should have toilet paper.
You think I'm giving you my personal supply?
You don't even have a personal supply.
I went through the closets.
There's no personal.
You don't know that?
You don't know where my toilet paper is?
I'm trying to dissuade you.
I'm trying to stop you from shitting in my home.
No, no, no, no.
This was not just because Ian's coming over, hide the wares.
This was an unkempt-
First of all, you don't need to know whether I have toilet paper or not.
I know you don't.
You've been here two minutes and you're shitting in my fucking house.
And also, it looks like you've been plucking chicken feathers on your couch.
Nice, man.
That's a good joke that everyone will be able to get.
What does that mean, Ian?
There's feathers all over your couch.
Oh, I have goose down.
All right, a couple feathers came out.
You don't shit in a man's home five minutes into getting there.
Unless you come right off the road.
You came from your-
Well, maybe he didn't want to interrupt the pod-
Maybe he didn't want to interrupt the podcast.
Yeah.
He just couldn't shit in his house.
I immediately quit podcasting in my place and went to meet Mike and then came
here.
It is an innocuous thing that you're picking out to rip me on.
It's 1.30.
Yes.
1.30.
I didn't take a shit when I woke up.
I woke up immediately with people at my house to do the fucking podcast because
I couldn't sleep, Mr. Empathy.
Hey, I'm not Mr. Empathy.
I've never claimed to be Mr. Empathy.
It's a sarcastic nickname.
Hey, just a little tip.
If you need toilet paper, don't get the toilet paper from Trader Joe's.
Oh.
It's cheap, but I've never had more duty all over my hands.
Yeah.
Ew.
Yeah.
That's tough.
It doesn't work.
How did you get rips?
I hate the sandpapery.
That's one thing I do.
You got to splurge.
The finest toilet paper in the world.
Also, I'm a bidet guy these days.
Are you?
Yeah.
Because you don't have one here.
Yeah.
That's the Ian bathroom.
Yeah.
First of all, you had the shit.
There's no good one for you.
I was here.
I showered in that bed.
Yeah, exactly.
It's inside my shit.
And you know what?
Yeah, fuck you, Ian.
You overuse my facilities every time you're here.
And by the way, the last time you were like, I'm going to go on a date, and
then you didn't
go.
You just showered for no reason in my house.
She canceled.
So, he just took a shower in my house, and then went to your house afterwards.
So, the last few times you've been here.
And he drew up me showering and getting to my phone.
I then found out that she canceled the date.
Oh, fuck you, dude.
Don't say her name.
Now, do you think this is God trying to tell you you're having too much
homosexual sex?
The funniest thing is I have not been having homosexual sex.
For a while, homosexual sex.
Sex with a woman with a penis is not homosexual.
It's cool.
Okay, okay.
That's fine.
We'll give you that.
We'll give you that.
Is that the vibe you're on these days?
A little while ago.
A little while ago.
Yeah, whatever.
Nice, dude.
Oh, when's this come out?
Yeah, yeah.
But in time this is out, Ian will have completely relapsed on male cum.
There's no relapse.
You're right.
I'm not off it.
Okay, that's fair.
That's fair.
Yeah.
Anyway, yeah.
So, you shit.
Look, hey, I'm sorry for assuming we were friends and I could go to the
bathroom in your house.
To immediately shit is kind of like, you know.
Is, is, on it, no kayfabe.
To come from your-
No kayfabe.
Don't say that.
No jokes.
No, like, for the pot.
Is that a rude thing to do?
There's no bit.
I'm really mad at you for being shitting in my house.
You really are?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
You came right from your house and then shit in my house, didn't say hello.
You come in.
I did.
I heard you complimenting you on your smooth skin.
You come in.
He answers the door shirtless.
Like, you think I don't think it's okay to shit in your house with the way you
answered
the door?
You're shirtless in your underwear.
You come in.
I was wearing pants.
From a hibernation.
I was wearing shorts.
Barely.
You're either wearing shorts or you're not.
What, were they hanging off my cock?
Yeah.
Anyway, to immediately come in from your house and shit within moments and then
come
out, where's your toilet paper?
Bad move, man.
I honestly, I didn't think it was that bad of a move because A, we're friends.
B, when you got to go, you got to go.
You would understand.
We're all guys.
Why would I understand?
Because you're a person.
You're a human.
You understand that if you go to the bathroom, you got to go to the bathroom.
Whatever, man.
We can table this discussion.
See, this is why I wear diapers.
Mike's been sitting himself this whole time.
Can we get a ruling from Mike and then Eldis?
I'm going to shit my dipey mid-pot.
How do you feel?
And also, I lit what toilet paper was left on fire to get rid of the smell
because I'm
fucking kind.
Nice, man.
And I didn't want anything to stink.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I have stomach issues.
Can we get a ruling from Eldis and Racine?
Yes.
I'm going to play devil's advocate for Ian here.
Thank you.
There's many a time when I've had to come here really early to do work, and the
first thing
I do is go straight to the shitter.
I think it's just more time.
You put in eight hours here, though.
Ian's here for two hours.
15 minutes of that, he's been shitting.
He said the first thing he did was walk in and take a shit.
Because this is his job.
This is his fucking job.
He comes in, he shits.
I just came from a job to another job.
We masquerade as fun truth tel