Name: Stavvy's World #80 - Sam Morril and Gary Vider | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-06-10T10:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #80 - Sam Morril and Gary Vider | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #80 - Sam Morril and Gary Vider | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-10. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #80 - Sam Morril and Gary Vider | Full Episode

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World, 904-800-STAV.
Call in. We'll solve all your problems.
We have a beautiful panel, a returning champion,
and two just sexy little animals coming along with him,
both Winnie and Gary.
And a bird and a hairless cat.
I feel honored.
Fully hairless? What's your body hair situation look like?
I'm very hairy.
I'm hairy outside of the top of my head.
You're not that hairy. I've seen you.
I don't know. I'm pretty hairy.
He's got an Audi belly button, too.
Interesting, interesting.
I tried writing that from Sam, and then he saw it,
and now he brings it up wherever we go.
It's unfortunate. I thought, "Please stop."
And that's just because the doctor didn't snip enough?
Why does an Audi get made?
I don't know. It was the '80s.
I don't know. They knew what to do.
The '80s? What does that mean?
I don't know.
Every baby in the '80s was born with an Audi.
I think maybe it was his first one that he was doing,
and then he just messed up.
Yeah, yeah.
It's unfortunate.
Did your parents go to a discount doctor?
What do you mean it was his first one?
I don't know.
I think he did my sister's buttons, too,
and then mine just got fucked up.
Is she an Audi?
I'm the only one.
Oh, wow.
No, it's a tough thing to have.
It really is.
And that doesn't even go--
His dick isn't any, though.
My hair is.
Yeah.
I got issues.
But yeah.
It started at birth, the whole body thing.
Dude, I think this is an unleash a one-man show here.
That's awesome.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's go, Gary.
Fucking go.
So I got more body hair than I would like,
and I haven't had any body hair.
You have an Audi?
My dick is little.
That's a tough trio, bro.
We'll get into my childhood.
What do you think your--
What is your favorite attribute about yourself?
Let's get positive here.
He's kind of ripped, if you see.
Okay.
He's pretty--
Guy wants to fuck me.
Let Gary answer, Sam.
We didn't ask you what's the most--
What's the thing you want to fuck Gary the most about?
We asked Gary what he thinks.
I think I have nice eyes.
Nice eyes.
Thank you.
See, I was going to say nice eyes.
He never looked at them.
He looked at my body.
Looking at those cum gutters.
Dreaming and just throwing a load on those washboard abs in the tour bus.
We did a gig once in Columbus, and we got into a fight with a woman at the
airport,
because she was screaming at TSA.
She was so fucking rude.
Yeah.
And we just started zinging her.
We're like, fuck this lady.
So we just start going at her, and we're getting her--
So you're roasting her pro bono?
We're roasting her pro bono, and the TSA lady loved us for it.
And then the lady turns to Gary, and she goes--
Go ahead, sorry.
She goes, oh, yeah, well, you're short.
And Gary's response is, you should see me with my shirt off.
Yeah.
I was like, we had her.
I know.
We had her in the room.
What the hell?
It was 6:00 in the morning.
You let her get you, dude?
I was getting ahead of myself, and then--
You should see me with your shirt off.
She was a horrible person.
Yeah.
And she had kids with her, too.
Terrible, terrible person.
Oh, that's--
And I was like, you know, and then I thought that was a good response.
It was definitely not the best response.
No, no, no.
I tried.
You had a bunch of other stuff.
But here's the thing.
So we see her at, like, 6:00 in the morning for this--
We're at TSA, and you see that she's just treating this person horribly.
As soon as you see something like that--
By the way, I'm sorry to interrupt.
How much of a piece of shit do you have to be to be on the side of TSA?
I know.
That's crazy.
That's insane.
No, we felt bad.
The lady's like, you guys want to bring in some explosives?
I really--
Thanks for what you did up there.
You want to just bring through a big gulp?
I don't give a fuck.
But we can't, like--
We're not going to fight somebody physically, but verbally, we could take
somebody on.
It's kind of like when a UFC fighter just happens to be at a bodega that gets
robbed.
Right.
They save the day.
You're equally as heroic.
Exactly.
Calling an overworked mother with an anger problem a fat bitch at 6:00 a.m.
It's the same as saving a Muslim family from getting their only piece of
property, protecting
their own piece of property.
They were doing this al-Shabaab walk through security because they were
distracted.
It's all right.
We did our part.
Yeah, really.
No, she was a terrorist.
I mean, you're right.
You have to be a bag of shit first to side with TSA.
To be on TSA side.
And she was so out of line.
Yeah.
Just clearly had anger problems and was just berating an overworked miserable
person.
No, no, no.
That's horrible.
Yeah.
And then just on the, just in the airport in general.
It was, it gave us such a high though.
I didn't need a coffee after.
Wow.
It was like a confrontation like that.
I was already high.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
It was nice.
That is nice, man.
And you guys travel all the time together.
You're, you know, you got, you basically open for Sam a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
You boys just take a lot of-
And you have to fight with him over, you know, with Nate Bargazzi over who gets
him.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah.
How does that, what do you, what do you, do you have any loyalty?
Cause I'm, Nate's in arena.
I know.
So the checks must be, the checks must be nicer.
I have great times with both of these guys.
Oh, here we go.
All right.
Here we go.
Let's put you on the hot seat, Gary.
Yeah.
And it's good.
Everything's fine.
I have a gun.
It's pointed at Nate or it's pointed at Sam.
You choose.
Get rid of him.
I love you.
What about Sal?
We can do it.
We can sell him.
No, no.
Oh, he'll be here soon.
He'll be here tomorrow, actually.
Come back, Gary.
We'll make you answer that question again.
Quality shows, it's great.
I love it.
You get the curse on my shows.
I do, I get the curse.
Oh, you gotta work clean for Nate.
Yeah, you gotta be completely clean for Nate.
Wow, interesting.
Yeah.
And you can, no problem.
If not, Nate just, he's a monster behind stages.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He curses at you, too.
He'll beat you.
He actually, he's actually branded you with a cattle iron.
Yeah, exactly.
You have to be a yellow zone, but it's just a C.
You're clean.
That's awesome, dude.
Respect.
Damn, what is, that's so insane to think about.
Comedy in an arena is crazy to begin with.
Yeah.
Clean comedy in an arena.
You're literally just a guy up there.
Not that cursing makes it any better, necessarily.
No.
But it's just, for two hours, people just, little humorous.
It's not even like a lot of anger.
There's not a lot of like emotion.
There's not a lot, it's just like humorous observations for two hours in the
same place
that like, you know, the Celtics play.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's insane.
I did that, I did that arena.
You did that arena?
Yeah, with Nate.
But no, it's an insane experience.
Yeah.
But yeah, I'm hoping that I'm not, I mean, I'm not completely clean.
Sure.
But you know, when I'm up there, I'm like, I'm just hoping that nothing slips
out.
Right, right, right.
And it's like, you don't think about it until you're like, in front of that
many people
where you're like, oh, you could just screw up.
There is no way.
Your dick slips out.
That's the dirtiest set of my life.
The one time, the one time my dick looks big, it falls out of my jeans in an
arena.
In front of a bunch of 12 year old Southern children.
There must be families though, right?
Because it's clean.
Oh, yeah.
That's awesome.
That's the thing.
I mean, being a clean comic, he's, you know, he's selling to the whole family.
Yeah.
They don't have to get a babysitter now.
Yeah.
He's selling four tickets instead of two.
Genius.
Not us.
I'm literally, I sent Stav a cut of my special last night.
The other is about a baby sucking my penis.
Yeah.
And the streaming program.
And I'm like, keep it.
Don't you fucking cave to the man.
Open with the baby sucking your cock joke, man.
We're artists.
We're the last truth tellers.
We stand at the forefront between us and cancel culture.
I'm like, I'm a truth teller.
And they're like, wait, did that actually happen to you?
Is that you?
We are at the, we're at the edge of the wall.
It's fucking game of thrones.
And we're stepping back the white walkers, AKA a lib cancel culture.
If we don't open our million dollar specials with pedophile jokes, then all of
Western civilization
will crumble.
That's what the people want.
The people want.
It's a great joke too.
Yeah, it works.
And we should, yeah, let's get some plugs.
The special will be coming out in about a month, right?
It's coming out in July.
July 9th on a major streamer.
July 9th on a major streamer.
We'll just, maybe we'll put it in if it's all said and done by the time it
comes out.
And Big Gary over there, you got a couple projects coming up, buddy.
Yeah.
May 28th, got the YouTube special coming out.
Love it.
That's my comedy special.
Sam EP on that.
Sam produced it.
Yeah.
I just hung in the back and, you know, some notes in the show.
No, you gave me lines.
I gave a lot of it.
I did pick up.
Sam shouted out.
He's like, you fucked this up.
I made him retell the joke about having a small dick.
Yeah, yeah.
And on stage he goes, you're making me do this to shame me.
I said, maybe, maybe not.
Maybe I'm a master EP.
I don't know.
I kept that in the end credits too.
Love it.
Yeah, it's funny.
Then, and then June 10th, I got a podcast coming out about my dad, who's a con
man.
Love it.
Love that.
That's awesome.
I've listened to the first episode.
It's incredible.
We've talked about it before.
We've been friends for years, obviously.
And we're basically going to do a better version of a Pod Don't Lie episode
right now.
Yeah.
Because remember, we had you on.
We were just talking about it.
And it's insane.
Like, your father's like, it's crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, it started back in the 90s where he and I, we went to probably over
like 50 games
where I would go, I would impersonate a Sports Illustrated for kids reporter.
He would impersonate a Sports Illustrated for kids photographer.
Oh.
And we just get into the garden completely for free.
Wow.
And without, so we wouldn't have tickets.
Then I go into locker room after the games and interview players.
And I met Jordan.
Insane.
I met Mario Lemieux.
I was at Ranger games.
That's your favorite hockey player ever, too.
Yeah, Mario Lemieux is my favorite hockey player.
I was at, you know, the Stanley Cup for three of the games.
Jesus.
Sat glass for game seven.
And Gracie Mansion for the Stanley Cup.
Yeah.
He went to the fucking party.
What?
My dad didn't, so my dad, after, after getting into all this stuff, he never
stopped.
It was like, he would always just push it to the limits where.
Of course.
After, you know, going to the game and having access, but we went to the after
party after
the Rangers won the cup.
And then they celebrated at Gracie Mansion and he got past the mayor's security
detail.
No problem.
Insane.
So he would just constantly, he just loved it.
He loved the rush.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And my dad's just a guy who never cared about consequences.
Right, right, right.
Usually that stops at like, you know, you start when you're like maybe going
into like college
or after college, you're like, all right, I'm going to settle down.
I got to get it together.
I'm going to be a normal person.
Yeah.
My dad was like, this is how I'm going to live my life.
And everything that he did was, he would try, you know, try and con people.
That's why.
And so this is, so you grew up here in Jersey or in New York?
Long Island.
On Long Island.
Yeah, yeah.
Like we're talking what, like the early 90s?
Early 90s, yeah.
Early 90s.
So yeah, it is like right, it does feel like the last time you could talk your
way through
that.
Like you could still probably case by case con your way through, but the early
to mid 90s,
like that seems like the last time.
I mean, 9/11 probably is the true bam ever since then.
Right, right.
My dad was part of that too.
He was part of that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He tried.
He talked his way off t