Name: Stavvy's World #85 - JP McDade and Dan Soder | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-07-15T10:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #85 - JP McDade and Dan Soder | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #85 - JP McDade and Dan Soder | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-15. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #85 - JP McDade and Dan Soder | Full Episode

Ba-ba! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOV.
Call in, we'll solve your problems.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful couch we have today.
Two of my favorite guys on the planet.
Comedy, no comedy. I love being with these two beefy boys.
Welcome to Rebound Central.
Let's go. The front court is here.
Scrapping. What is this, Purdue in 98?
Boston Celtics, 86.
Ah, sharp elbows, rebounds.
We'd be a nice NBA street team, dude.
I'm the small, stocky point guard.
Or we look like a sick, remember the original Nintendo ice hockey?
Where we're like the two tall skinnies and then you're just fucking whipping
slap shots.
Wayne Gretzky's 3D hockey.
I love that.
You're like one of the rappers who has like the coach of a team at the Rucker.
We're like the two white guys who are playing in the tournament.
Oh yeah, dude. I love it.
You went and scouted a fucking mid-major.
You got two big whites.
Oh yeah.
With your spinning chains.
Well, you delivered my milk one day and I was like, I'm sorry son, you ever
play ball?
I go, well, not since father lost the farm.
I just sit outside and just shoot my three-pointers.
How'd you like to get an education at University of Alabama?
He said it was a game for homos.
He said don't get close to black sweat.
You're our Nick Nolte.
You're like, hell, Ricky didn't even want it.
You're my damn tractor.
You're throwing away the greatest thing in your life.
You're going to stand basketball.
I would love to.
I would love to be a crooked NCAA coach.
You look like one.
Yeah.
I could right now for sure.
Yeah, you got it.
Oh yeah, dude.
I look like, I would be, yeah, let me bring back LA or Vegas.
Let me be the new Tarkizian or whatever the fuck is your name.
Yeah, you look like at an expensive seafood dinner.
You have a name like Dravan pop up on your phone.
And you go, I got to take this.
This is a kid out of South Central.
You're like a son to me.
You go, what's up, dog?
Listen, what?
Your mother's driving a broken down Accord?
How'd you like it to be a Lexus?
My daddy's not getting out for seven years.
Yeah, I fuck half the recruits' moms.
I have to move back to Greece.
There's too many ex-cons want to kill me.
A black lady with pink nails running her fingers in your chest hair.
Oh yeah, dude.
Nothing like getting jerked off with a hand that has a nail longer than your
hard dick.
Something about that palm tree on your middle finger is about to make me bust.
The phone rings.
You push her away out of the bed.
You pick up the phone.
It's like, what?
DeAndre's committing to UCLA.
I'll be on the next flight.
Don't sign anything!
No, no, no, Tavarius.
You listen to me.
Reba told me last week.
They told me last week you're going to get a shoe.
Don't sign last week.
I'll talk to the people at the condo.
We'll get the condo this week.
Baby, suck me.
I got to call my guys.
Suck me.
I need to calm down.
You're always working.
I worked for a guy like that for one weekend.
He was licensed by FIBA.
He was a sports agent.
It was the most pathetic experience of my entire life.
That's hilarious.
What was he doing?
Just on the phone greasing young men?
No, it was in person.
He ran this camp where he was trying to get jobs playing ball overseas.
And he was like, yeah, you know, you get your tape on my website.
I get 200,000 monthly visitors.
It's like, that's not accurate by four digits.
I'm going to get you signed to the Afghan Bandits.
I don't want to move to Afghanistan.
You smuggle opium.
Are you pretty good with an AK-47?
Well, son, welcome to the Persian Basketball League.
Listen, the situation's pretty fluid on the ground,
but you could be playing starting power forward next week.
I got boots on the ground down there,
and they are saying that things have cleared up.
You're playing for the Rafa All-Stars.
A deal's a deal, baby.
A deal's a deal.
Oh, fuck, dude.
Yeah, I would love a...
That's so many beautiful ways my life could have gone.
I would love that job.
I'm a people person.
I like making a pitch.
Driving around East Baltimore, just like...
And then you say something to a kid with a wicked jump shot.
You go, something about the squeaks of tennis shoes
makes my cock hard.
I love this game.
I do love hoops, that's true.
Well, look, the riffs are going to flow like wine
on this episode, but we should say
our beautiful boy...
Now, Soda's had a great special out
that's been out for a while on the road.
It's already amassed 1.8, I believe,
must watch, must watch.
It's so fucking funny.
Honestly, my favorite special that's come out this year.
It's what, 45 minutes, just straight heat.
38-0 killer, no filler, no preservative.
Yeah, dude.
Farm to table, baby.
Yeah.
I don't know how to talk myself up.
It's so good, yeah.
It's a cow.
I'm bad at self-promotion.
It's so funny.
Go watch it.
We're going to give you an experiment
with self-esteem throughout the...
Let's get it up to 2 mil.
Self-esteem camp?
Yeah.
What do you got, Dan?
Watch out.
Because I told some jokes.
I didn't say ask a question.
I said brag, Daniel.
It's pretty good.
I think the next one's going to be better.
No, shut up.
It's so funny.
He's literally being honest now.
It's so good.
Fuck you.
Great special.
Go watch it.
And our own beautiful boy here at Stavi Baby Enterprises,
J.P. McDade, is putting out a special this week.
July 17th.
J.P. McDade in Brooklyn.
Yes.
We were there.
The beautiful bell house.
It's our first production.
Eldest was on the...
Eldest was working cameras.
Yes.
We got a...
Swiss army knife over there.
It was awesome.
It was great to see Benny Budcheeks,
the consigliere of Stavi Baby Enterprises.
He was on the monitor from L.A. working out shots.
We had Joey Malinsky, very talented Baltimore videographer,
shot the whole thing.
He was hooked up like one of those...
Like when they have the camera on the pitcher
coming out of the bullpen,
that crazy-ass motion-smoothing rig.
It was a high-impact situation.
It was beautiful.
Plus the bell house rules.
That's a great place to talk about.
Yeah, I love the bell house.
Great special.
You guys are going to love it.
I did your show at the bell house and it flooded.
Oh, my God.
And they were...
It was insane.
And Stav put me on last.
And I was like,
cool, whatever.
And they let me in.
I'm like,
I'm five minutes into this set.
And I'm doing good.
Why are they lighting it?
You're winning.
And then I looked down
and water was coming through the door.
And it was the most comic thought
I've ever had in my life.
I went,
I can get one more in.
Yeah.
100%.
The bell house is known for its quirks, right?
Because you had the flood.
And then in the second show of my taping,
the lights malfunctioned like seven or eight times.
Dude, they just started...
It was insane.
He's cooking.
He's fucking crushing, right?
And I was like,
hell yeah.
I'm lighting a victory cigar.
I'm like,
we got it in the bag, baby.
And then the lights go down
and they go down
and they come back up.
And I'm like,
oh, that was weird.
Somebody must have hit a fucking button.
And then it happened like eight times
in the middle of his fucking set.
We didn't know what the fuck to do.
I was like,
free riffs, baby.
Let's cook.
But it was fucking wild.
That flood was hilarious, though, too.
That was fucking...
I mean, people were trapped.
Dude, that was wild.
Rosebud was on that show
and she's like,
my Uber says he's around the corner.
I was like,
can I ride with you?
And she was like,
yeah.
We got out there.
The water was up to our knees
and the Uber was there.
He's like,
and she just opened the door
and we jumped in
and the guy's like,
no, no, no, no, no.
There was water coming in
and we drove.
It was fucking wild.
Did you get out?
Last shopper out of Saigon, brother.
I mean, I was hanging
on the fucking end of that thing.
But there was...
We saw a guy on the BQE
that was going down
with water going into his windows.
Oh, my God.
It was fucking insane.
Dude, you need a rosebud
in that situation
and be like,
this is not a negotiation.
We're getting out of here.
You saw...
She was her grandfather's
granddaughter on that.
A black horse just shows up.
I don't take no for an answer.
I got people that'll send you back
to whatever goddamn flight
in the country you're from.
And the guy was like,
I'll drive you
as fast as I can get you.
Dude, you want me to call in
the coordinates of your village?
Yes or no?
I am at the 50s parallel
and I need you
to fucking pick me up.
Yeah, she just pulls up her phone.
It's got drone footage
of his grandparents
in fucking Afghanistan.
She's got a giant satellite phone.
She goes,
hey, why don't you rock those birds?
Yeah, yeah.
She's like, look at this.
And like a bullet whizzes
past his grandfather's ear
and it's like,
you wanted to go closer?
Hey, what were they celebrating?
I drive you.
I will drive you.
You're on the phone
with your grandfather?
Tell him to look at the sheep
that's in the field right now.
That was a Patriot missile.
Pink mist.
Drive the fucking car.
Is that the USS Rhode Island
is three miles
off the coast right now
with a pocket full
of firecrackers.
That's awesome.
Rosebud just threatens people.
Sorry, Rosebud.
We actually,
we don't have the chicken
for that salad
in the green room.
She goes,
oh, I'm sorry.
Do you drive the Toyota Corolla?
Oh, it looks like,
it looks like you have
four terabytes
of child pornography
on your computer right now.
That's so weird.
You got raided.
Why do you have a gun?
The guy goes,
I don't have,
oh my God.
She has fixers.
I got a picture
of you at Epstein's Island
right now.
Yeah, dude.
What did we get here?
Bell house.
The bell house to flood.
That was a fucking wild one
because my buddy,
he was like right before,
like in the middle
and I felt like an asshole
because I thought,
I was like,
I was putting you on
last as a sign of respect.
I was like,
no one's following Danny,
Danny fat nuts.
And then it almost got you,
you know,
stranded and go honest.
But it was flooding so much.
People in Manhattan,
got hotels.
Like I knew people
that had shows in Manhattan
that lived in Brooklyn
and Queens
and went in
on a hotel room together
because they could not
leave the island.
Yeah, that's crazy.
And that's a moment
where it's like,
we really are fucked
if there's a natural disaster.
Oh, yeah.
Just a rainstorm
that caught us by surprise
made you a refugee
for the night.
Yeah.
But can I say
you had a sick-ass
Allen Iverson shirt on.
Thank you.
Yeah, that was a great one.
Like from the Jadakiss commercial,
that one.
No, this was a,
there's a guy from England
who just makes these cool,
these fucking sick shirts.
That was a great one.
That was a great shirt.
Shout out to the answer.
Allen Iverson.
One of my favourites
as a child.
One of my favourites.
Top, top class in the UK.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not nothing more
than taking black people's culture.
I'm absolutely profiting off it.
I'm the one who taught
Drake how to do cornrows.
Just British dudes
super into black stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that shit's popping.
They've got a,
I mean, you know,
British rap is definitely
on the up and up.
It's the silliest sounding stuff
I've ever heard in my life.
I love it though, dude.
That Central Sea song
that we were listening to
ironically with Drake
was actually kind of sick
when we were on the road
that one time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kind of hard.
Sench.
We were listening to a lot
of our good buddy, Sench.
And Dave, of course.
Dave, yes.
There's a rapper.
There's a British rapper
and his name is just Dave.
It's awesome.
No, Dave's fine.
Yeah.
Don't you want to call yourself
like something else?
He goes, no, Dave.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was the song?
Sprinter?
Yeah, that's the big one.
It's like I got eight bitches
in the Sprinter van or whatever.
Yeah.
That's too many.
I don't remember how it goes.
What are you going to talk about?
There's a lot of headroom,
not a lot of seating.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, they're thin.
Sprinters.
Yeah.
You know?
They run on diesel over there.
It smells good.
Cultural differences.
Does diesel smell better?
I like it.
It'