Name: Stavvy's World #86 - Hasan Piker | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-07-22T10:00:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #86 - Hasan Piker | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #86 - Hasan Piker | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-22. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #86 - Hasan Piker | Full Episode

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV. Call in, we'll solve
your problems.
We have lured a Turk into our den. And he's defenseless now.
Bro, I feel so... I feel like I'm in hostile territory.
You are, bro.
Bro, there's like flags everywhere.
This is like if a vampire was around a garlic farm.
Hassan's so weak. He has no powers here.
Although you did try and... you tried to take my Albanian producer off kilter
by giving him a zin.
This motherfucker's been hiccuping for 10 minutes.
He's like, oh, sixer, I can handle it.
That six milligram bullet got me, dude.
Yeah, I gotta do what I gotta do.
It's like World War III in here.
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Speaking of your fucking producer, bro, you have undermined my man.
What do you mean?
The picture that I had of him in my mind is dramatically different than what he
actually looks like.
Stop trying to make a Turk Albanian.
This is what the establishment takes most.
Stop trying to unite Turks and Albanians against me.
I'll keep you both afoot.
I don't give a fuck.
All I'm saying is he's got gray hairline, he's handsome.
He's a handsome kid.
I thought he was going to be very fat.
Well, I mean, he's lost some weight, yes.
But yeah, he's like 6'5".
6'6".
Yeah, he's taller than me.
He's taller than me.
Eldest, I gave you 6'5 like a gentleman.
I don't need the inch.
6'5".
Okay, you're 6'5".
How much do you weigh?
I think I'm like 290.
Let's say...
Bro, that is a fucking hulking man right there.
That's a unit right there, for sure.
I didn't even know they made Albanians that size.
Oh, are you kidding me?
Who's going to plow our fields?
That's true.
That's what the Ottoman Empire did say.
Who's going to put a fucking yoke around Eldest's neck?
You are literally describing what my ancestors did.
They were like, that's a big boy.
Don't fall for this Ottoman flattery.
He's trying to turn you against us.
I'm about to fucking Janissary his ass, dude.
Yeah, this is an Albanian brag, but all my villager fucking relatives,
they still talk about Ali Pasha nonstop every time I'm there.
I'm like, God damn.
Move on, motherfucker.
Oh, this is a mistake, dude.
I thought I had to sign on the ropes.
He's going to take my help with him.
You're going to be fucking cleaning out his pool,
his fucking million dollar pool.
1453, baby.
I'm ready to go.
That's looking like conquerable territory right now.
Your bitch ass can't have it.
Looks pretty nice.
Sorry, I should make an official introduction.
We have anti-Semite of the week Hassan Piker on.
That's right.
Girl, I cannot believe, I can't believe that you literally,
like, you did the Netflix, like, comedy weekend or whatever the fuck,
and then you had anti-Semite of the week?
Yeah, that's, we got range here.
You know, you're literally, you're cooked.
You're cooked out of this.
No, we got both, dude.
Netflix's about to see that and be like,
all right, next special is done, actually.
No, don't worry.
Don't worry.
They don't know what the fuck you do.
All right.
No, they're not a 14-year-old kid with a raccoon tail up his ass.
Netflix executives are fine if I'm doing it.
They're like, what does he do?
He plays video games?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's what I do.
I play video games and say anti-Semitic stuff.
Like, Palestinians are human beings.
Hey, come on, watch it.
Relax, Hassan.
Stop getting radical on my show.
We're here to have a good time.
Yeah, you should not, you shouldn't kill kids.
Whoa, dude.
What the fuck are you doing to me?
Trying to take elders, trying to get all my deals canceled?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'll hold that.
I'll keep that stuff to myself.
Just keep the radical stuff to yourself like that.
It's actually, yeah, no, I'm turning it around completely.
I'm pro-Israel now.
I'm going to be running around defending it.
That's good, man.
Listen, that's a lot of growth.
We're happy to see that from the former anti-Semite of the week.
Yeah.
But also, you know, streamer of the year probably.
You lost that to Mr. Beast, I think, right?
No, no, Mr. Beast is always winning the content creator across the board.
Content creator.
But, no, you always lose to Kaysenat.
Ah, yeah, he's great.
Because, you know, when he does like a PS5 heel away, there's a riot.
Yeah.
When I show up, it's like Free Palestine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is...
No one's that, yeah, no one's that pumped.
But, yeah, he will absolutely, Kaysenat will like, say he's hanging out and
someone will,
like, they'll burn a Best Buy to the ground trying to catch a glimpse of him.
Yeah, it is pretty wild.
It is wild because, like, he had, like, he did a Louis Vuitton, like, Tyler the
Creator
collab recently.
And he has those, like, same fucking awards that I have.
He has, like, the Streamys Awards and the fucking...
All these awards that he's, like, posted up with.
And I'm just like, we are in such different worlds.
Like, he's literally hanging out with, like, Pharrell's hitting him up to be
like, hey,
let's do a photo shoot for Louis Vuitton.
And I'm over here fucking hanging out with you.
You're on Stoffy's world, bro.
Yeah.
Such different worlds that we exist in.
What do you think...
All right, let's rank you, Mr. Beast, Kaysenat.
Who do you think has the biggest penis, first to last?
Oh.
You think Mr. Beast is secretly packing?
Didn't he, he, like, post the photo?
He did post a weird photo.
With, like, holding his dick and shit, which was crazy.
But he looked good.
But his audience is, like, six.
I feel like you shouldn't do that.
Yeah, you hear this guy's getting nervous, Eldest.
I can't say anything bad about Jimmy.
If Mr. Beast starts getting sexy, you're cooks, too, dude.
He has.
He has gotten sexy.
Yeah.
But he's, like, he's too white, I feel like.
He's got a little, there's a little bit to his, and, you know, not that, don't
come
after me, Mr. Beast stands.
No, I, well, no, they're all six.
They're all little kids, yeah, yeah.
They're too busy playing Roblox or whatever.
He's got an interesting face.
He's got, like, kind of a rabbit face a little bit.
I can't speak, I can't talk shit on my boy Jimmy that much.
I like Jimmy.
I'm a Jimmy fan.
Shout out to Jimmy.
Yeah, yeah.
He gave us some chocolates.
The new Mr. Beast bars are actually sick.
Dude, I fucking hate that shit.
Because, like.
He got me with a relapse, honestly.
I was eating clean.
And then I got a box of chocolates, so I fucking fucked them up, dude.
Dude, I, I, like, every time he blesses me with, like, eight fucking coolers
worth of chocolates,
I'm walking around, like, that Drake video where he's, like, giving money to
everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I had to give away a lot.
Yeah.
Because I would have eaten.
I was inhaling Mr. Beast bars.
I, yeah, the peanut butter one's the best one.
Peanut butter one's out of control.
We are giving him free promos.
I know.
This motherfucker's richer than God.
What are we doing here?
Yeah, put me in a fucking video.
Let me live in a fucking grocery store for a trillion dollars or whatever the
fuck.
True, dude.
I know.
It's fucked up because, like, I know him.
Yeah.
And we're managed, like, his management company is, like, I was one of the
first people that,
that they, they signed beyond, like, who they were originally working with.
And now the company's, like, growing rapidly, obviously.
So, like, we're pretty, we're pretty connected.
And I'm not in any of the fucking videos.
And he always hits up Ludwig for, like, sick-ass fucking challenges.
That's what you, that's what your bitch-ass gets from being, having opinions.
Yeah, I know.
You gotta just be a nice haircut, a nice, sexy guy with a nice haircut.
Bro, you defend Hamas one time, okay?
You fund, you give him.
Yeah, listen, as soon as you fucking denounce Hamas, then you can fucking give
away a private jet.
I only raised 1.3 million dollars directly for Al-Qasam.
It's fine.
Like, what?
I'm trying to level the fucking playing field, you know what I mean?
No, you're too controversial for those little-ass kids, dude.
Sorry.
Sorry.
That's what you get for being Turk-raised.
Well, to be fair, now with TikTok, they're all fucking-
They're all Fideen.
That's true.
They're ride or die.
They're like the Islamic Republic of Iran who'll rise one day.
Remember when there was, like, a weird, like, white girls, like, were joining
Al-Qaeda 10 years ago?
We're gonna have that on steroids, Jim.
Dude, people are, like, doing live reads of the Quran.
I'm like, bro, what are you doing?
Like, there's, like, white girls in North Carolina and shit.
Like, this is becoming- that's why they had to ban TikTok.
They were like, no, we can't have that.
They were spreading Islam.
But you're- so you're asked- this is what I always found funny is that you were
born in New Jersey, but then they shipped you right to Turkey.
Yeah.
Because they didn't want you to get an American upbringing.
Well, the thing is, like, it was the other way around.
My parents were very sneaky with it.
They were like, if we-
Anchor baby.
Yeah, if we give birth to him.
You know the immigrant mentality?
If you give birth to him here, then he will be American.
Then you'll- yep.
Which, you know, sucks to suck, racist, like, that's just how it works still.
It's a loophole.
Yeah.
It's a great loophole.
So then- but then they were like, but we don't want him to be too American.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, I grew up-
I was- I grew up in Turkey for 18 years, but of course-
Did they make fun of your ass?
Were you the American boy in Turkey, or were you just like-
No.
So you were just Turkish, Turkish.
Yeah, I mean, I was Turkish, Turkish, but, like, I- I was still, of course,
like, very fascinated, like everyone else is, with American culture and shit.
So, like, I think it gave me, like, a leg up.
The fact that I never really had, like, a thick accent.
Like, I had an American accent from the Joe, because I would just, like, always
watch American TV.
I only consumed, like, I read English books-
How much did they speak- they spoke Turkish?
It was Turkish, yeah.
It was Turkish, yeah.
All Turkish, okay.
And still, like, my-
Still, that's true, that's true.
My dad, I don't know, have you met my dad when you were-
I see- he's passed by.
Yeah, he- he refuses to speak English.
Yeah.
And he got a fucking doctorate from the London School of Economics, so I know
his ass knows how to read and write and defend his, like, dissertation in front
of fucking, you know, deans and shit in English.
He doesn't speak London- a Turk went to the London School of Economics, so he,
like, figured out how to make the most money selling kebabs.
Is that what it is?
No, he's, he's like a, he's like a major neoliberal, like, he, he was, he was a
corporate man his whole life.
Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah.
He's not-
Suck it on the corporate teat.
He's not, it's weird, he's not too fond of my, my political worldview, I would
say, but also, like, still, there's a, and this is the same with, like, not
just my dad, but all Turks, there's this sense of pride, right?
Right, if you do anything.
Yeah, they're like, but he's in America and he's dominating as a Turk, like, he's
putting us on the map.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But also, like, I don't agree with anything.
I don't agree with what you're saying, but if, if there's got to be one gay
streamer, buy gum, it's got to be the Turk that's the number one gay streamer.
That is the funniest thing.
They're always, they always think, like, like, when I paint my nails, it's the
gayest thing you can do for a Turkish man.
The