Name: Stavvy's World #99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2024-10-21T10:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-21. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen | Full Episode

Welcome to Stavi's World, everyone. We have an incredible show for you. Wes Haney,
Daniel Simonson. They'll be on in a minute. We just want to let you know, and
we talk about it, but October 25th, let's start it called The Movie that I star
in. I wrote it with Wes and our friend Ben Kitnick.
It comes out in theaters. It's in all these cities. Eldis will put these in in
post-production, hopefully, or I'll kill him. And you can, by clicking the link
below, you can get tickets to see it. Please buy tickets to see it. Go outside.
Go to the movies. It's 90 minutes of very, very stupid comedy. If you like this
podcast, you will like the movie, I promise you.
And if you live in any of these cities, go see it. I'm begging. I'm on my knees
begging. Now, without further ado, let's start the show.
Opa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV. Call in. We'll solve
all your problems. We have a very special, important episode.
We have soon-to-be indie hit comedy. We have the cast of Let's Start a Cult
here. Wes Haney, Daniel Simonson. I also happen to be in the movie. Yes, it is
my movie. I've been telling you about this for a fucking month now.
Go. It comes out in this Friday, October 25th, in theaters. That's right. You're
looking at three motherfuckers that are in a real movie, you pieces of shit.
Show some respect. You too, Elders. This is the first time you've had three
serious actors on this podcast.
I'm humbled to the highest degree right now.
Yeah, we fucking made a movie. We hope you go out and see it. And look, it's in
at least two theaters, so we can say in theaters.
Yeah, that's all it takes.
It's all it takes. Two theaters, it's in theaters. We've already done a couple
premieres. It's been in, already, as we speak, it's been in three theaters.
Soon to be four.
I didn't even know about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, Daniel, we keep in the dark. Daniel's, look, we, so we,
we, me and Wes,
we wrote it with our buddy, Ben Kitnick, who directed it.
Dan, you know, we, we're, I'm sort of like the, kind of like the James Dean
movie star of it, you know, the sexy, young protagonist.
Wes is the haggard old, he's the haggard old villain who I have to defeat.
Daniel is a nice little foreign piece of ass we brought in, so people have
something to look at. Ain't that right, Daniel?
Oh, yeah. My ass was the most important part of the casting.
But, yeah, we want to make sure you go see the movie, and, yeah, it was fun.
It's kind of wild that we're, that something we made is in theaters, but we'll
take it, baby.
It's pretty sick, man. You ever been, have you ever been, have you ever seen
yourself projected on,
what's the biggest screen you've seen yourself projected on up until now, until
this movie?
I think it's my television.
Nice. Television's good, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A few times when I watched myself, but that's very rarely, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You kind of try to avoid it.
You don't like to look at yourself on TV?
Not too much, no. I think also the bigger it is, there's a lot to digest.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think, I guess my friend had a show, or maybe I did, like, the 48-hour
film festival,
and they put that shit on a movie theater.
So, like, I'm just talking about, you know, tricking your mind.
Me and Eldest, actually, Eldest, remember, we did the 48-hour film festival.
Yeah, Crod.
Crod Destroyer of Worlds.
Yeah.
Eldest was the, Eldest was Crod.
That was my breakout role.
I was kind of the star of that.
You actually were the star.
You were the young James Dean, and I was the evil villain.
Yeah.
Damn, we should find that and put it on the Stavi.
We've got to redevelop that.
We should put it on the Stavi's World YouTube channel.
Yeah.
That would go, that would go nuts, dude.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I'm excited, I'm excited to see myself big, you know?
Yeah, I haven't seen myself big.
No.
Never.
Ever.
Not even for some bullshit thing somebody rented out at the theater or
something?
No.
Not even that?
Not even that.
Damn, dude.
I made a little screening here and there, but nothing, like, no sort of big
screen.
Yeah, yeah.
Hell yeah, dude.
Maybe on a wall.
Maybe on a wall.
Yeah, no, you need the borders.
Ten feet max.
Yeah, ten.
Nah, not good enough.
Now we're about to be big.
And, by the way, go see this, and we will go, if you do the popcorn trick at
our
movie, where you put your dick through the popcorn and get jerked off, send us
the glory
hole popcorn bucket, no jizz, send it to us, send it to Eldesula, care of Eldesula,
we'll
put, we'll flash his address here on the screen right now, and you are entered
for, what's
the prize?
What do you think the prize is for doing the popcorn trick at our movie theater,
at our
movie?
What do you think they should get?
Maybe like $35?
A burned DVD copy of the film.
Yeah, a bootleg copy.
You get a bootleg copy that Eldes filmed at the premiere.
There's a bathroom break in it.
You get to hear Eldes' stream as he pisses.
You hear me on the camera, like, just breathing.
The mic on the camcorder.
I loved bootlegs, man.
Here comes the piss.
All right.
It happened again.
Damn, I used to love bootlegs.
That was a, we grew up in a nice era.
Did you ever have, you must have had some bootlegs.
In Greece, they loved bootlegs.
Yeah.
Did they have them, you grew up in Norway?
Yeah, Norway.
I don't think that was a thing there.
You guys love following rules, that's why.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That would be quite a break of the rules.
Yeah, Greek people hate rules, bro.
They don't pay taxes.
They don't do shit.
Yeah, dude, it would be like, you would just go and people would be like, you
want Tom
Cruz?
Tom Cruz?
And they would just have, like, Mission Impossible for you, like, burned.
Like, I never, and we would, like, go DVD shopping for bootlegs in Greece and
bring
back bootlegs to America to watch.
But when I was in South America, they had it a lot.
They would even have movies that were not out yet.
They'd be like, The Hobbit.
Yeah.
They're still making it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They show you dailies of The Hobbit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They show you with a green screen.
They would show you Captain America, it's all green, and the guy in front of it.
That's fucking hilarious.
Were you a big bootleg guy, Wes?
I wasn't, because I lived, like, I grew up out in the country, so we didn't,
they didn't
make it that far.
Damn, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Not even at gas stations or anything like that?
No.
Wow.
Yeah, Baltimore, both Baltimore and Greece, big bootleg places.
Mm-hmm, I'm sure.
We love the bootleg.
Elvis, I know your ass had bootlegs.
Honestly, no.
What?
I never did, like, a bootleg DVD, like, you know.
Really?
The shitty kind that they, like, yeah, film it in the theater.
You stole cable, though, didn't you?
No, you keep saying that.
I never did.
I feel like you stole cable.
We always paid for cable.
Yeah, right.
Don't listen to him, man.
He stole it.
How can you do that, by the way?
Steal it.
You just have a guy come in and fucking, I don't even exactly know.
He used to be big in the 90s.
Yeah.
He probably, like, split wires on the poles with, like, actual cables, where I'm,
like,
put it to your house or some shit.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
You pay a guy one fee.
One time, you pay one guy 400 bucks, you get cable for free, until someone's
wise to it.
But I still, I think you stole it.
How would you know what your parents, I guess you probably, you probably wouldn't
know because
they didn't speak English.
Yeah, I don't even know how, like, how they would do it.
An Albanian guy split the fucking wire.
That's how they did it.
What do you mean, how would they do it?
No, man.
Dale, do they have any Albanian stereotypes in Norway?
I haven't heard those, actually.
It's actually a country I never heard mentioned.
You're not?
Oh, really?
Oh, you hear that, Elders?
They don't even think about you, motherfuckers.
Damn, that's a shame.
We got to ask everybody.
What about in Indiana, Wes?
Or did you grow up in Illinois?
I grew up in Indiana.
You did it in Indiana, yeah, yeah.
There were definitely people who did it.
Yeah.
It didn't happen in my family.
We weren't smart enough.
That's for sure.
Too dumb, too afraid.
Too dumb, too afraid.
Oh, dumb and scared.
Lethal combo.
Yeah.
A dumb coward.
You don't want that.
You at least want a confident coward that might accidentally succeed.
Yeah.
An afraid coward has a 10% chance of anything good happening.
Yeah.
A coward that's like, you know, a coward that believes in himself, even though
he shouldn't.
Or I'm sorry.
No, no.
A dumb guy who believes in himself, even though he shouldn't.
That guy's got actually probably like, I would say 70%.
Yeah.
He's going to be successful in life.
He's got good odds for sure.
Yeah.
Damn.
What about Albanians?
Do you know any of them?
Wes?
No.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I didn't even know any Greeks.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Oh, how about Greeks in Norway?
You guys knew Greeks.
I actually lived, so I studied in Paris, and I lived in a Greek house.
Really?
So they would like, I think it was 80 Greek people.
I'm sorry, 80?
Yeah.
Daniel, what the fuck are you talking about?
You were in a Parisian Greek house with 80?
So it's like a, oh, you mean like an apartment building?
So it's like a student city.
I see, I see.
And every country had its own house.
Oh, wow.
So they had segregation, they had ethnic segregation in Britain and France.
Yeah, I like to keep it separate.
But they would send, like, from each house, different countries.
So I came from the Norwegian house to live at the Greek house.
Oh, so it was like an exchange within an exchange program.
Yeah.
Interesting.
So you were the Norwegian delegate to the Greek house in Paris?
Yeah.
Representing.
How did you find your experience with the Greek, with 80 Greeks?
I mean, they're so different to Norwegians.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I remember I would come home and they would have, like, a circle.
Uh-huh.
And they had a little guitar.
Yeah.
And they were completely sober, too.
Oh, wow.
And then they were singing songs.
Yeah, yeah.
While they looked each other in the eyes.
That's how they would have fun.
Dude, yeah.
I know exactly what you mean.
And there would be, like, one guy in the middle, like, doing his own solo dance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was really strange.
Whenever I saw that, I would just kind of tiptoe away.
Oh, dude, they would have tried to get you in the center to dance for sure.
That would have been a big – the sober thing does surprise me, though,
because everything
you're saying makes sense to me.
Yeah.
And they would love to shred on the – this is a – what you heard was a bouzouki.
Yeah.
That was the little guitar.
Okay.
And it is – there is something cool about that, because it's just, like, a
party will
break out literally wherever.
Yeah.
And it's, like, you just need – and they literally just clap.
The guy in the center – the guy in the center does, like, a – he just kind
of moves his
arms around, and sometimes he kicks his feet up.
It's fucking sick.
Yeah.
I'm trying to get there, dude.
I'm trying to, like – traditionally, you perform that dance at your wedding.
It's kind of like a peacocking.
It's kind of like a – it's like the manliest dance there is.
It's like fucking – you fucking dance that when you get married, and then
again, you
probably – when you get divorced.
You know what I mean?
That's – it's called the zebekiko.
That's so fucking funny that you were –
But it seemed the less alcohol, the better.
Like, that was almost, like, a great thing, if it was booze-free.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they didn't get rowdy.
Yeah.
But they seemed to enjoy it more if it's sober.
I don't know why.
It's strange.
Sounds like you had 80 nerds in your fucking –
This does not – everything you're saying except they're enjoying it more when
they're
sober doesn't make sense to me.
Was it a mixed home?
Was it, like, guys and girls?
Or was it, like –
Yeah, mixed, yeah.
So it was a party, a sober party.
Yeah.
These sober Greek people just doi