Name: Stavvy's World #120 - Roy Wood Jr. | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2025-03-17T10:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #120 - Roy Wood Jr. | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #120 - Roy Wood Jr. | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-17. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #120 - Roy Wood Jr. | Full Episode

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV. Call in, we'll solve
your problems.
I'm pumped to have on the couch Roy Wood Jr. today. One of my favorites, one of
the best comics.
Truly, like, you have a great career and you're still underrated in my opinion.
And the special right now on Hulu, Lonely Flowers, go watch it. It's awesome.
You have the CNN show, Have I Got News For You as well.
A lot of places to see our boy Roy, but go check out the special. We're comedians.
Stream that shit, man.
Yeah, stream it. We don't know about the news.
Yeah, get Roblox off that shit.
I stream that shit on my son's laptop. I don't give a shit.
Give me your laptop, boy.
Stream it in Minecraft somehow.
Who's blocked?
That's because you're stupid and don't know how to circumvent parental settings.
I know what I'm doing, boy.
That's a good point.
You should put parental controls on your kid shit just so they learn how to
cheat through parental controls.
If you have a kid who can't figure that out, it's tough.
Mine is getting there.
It's not looking good.
Mine is getting there.
He already learned how to Google me.
And then, of course, the next thing he did was Google himself.
He wants some feedback.
Yeah.
He said, "I Googled Roy Wood Jr. Kid."
And I go, "Did you like what you're finding?"
Yeah, it was some nice pictures.
Yeah.
But I was a little younger then.
And I go, "Good.
Good.
Keeping you off of the internet."
That's so funny.
Yeah.
I mean, it just really feels like we're cooked in terms of kids and the
internet.
Your son's going to have, like, a robot girlfriend.
Like, they're going to be, like, they're going to make things where you could
just, like, I mean, her and, like, the Blade Runner.
And, by the way, if you get a girlfriend that looks like Ana Darmus, I would
sign up.
You know what I mean?
Like, even though it's...
I would want them to have, like, one of those ex machina.
I'm sorry, bro.
It's coming.
I know you don't want it.
I would be so embarrassed if my son dated a robot.
Eric, man, let me show you some of these white girls.
That's the march of progress.
I tell you about the good old days.
Yeah.
A black man would bring home a respectable white woman.
Not one of these goddamn robots.
When I was your age, you brought home a black woman, and then as you get tired
of that, you bring home a white woman and disappoint your mother.
Your mother's crying.
She's in there.
She's in there.
She found motor oil all over your pants.
She knows how that guy...
You don't have a car.
She knows how that WD-40 got there.
You know what television sitcom does not stand up?
What's that?
I caught a glimpse of it down a Reddit rabbit hole.
Uh-huh.
Small Wonder.
Small Wonder doesn't hold up.
Small Wonder was a sitcom about a robot, about a teenage robot.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The zany adventures of a suburban family, their next door neighbors, and an
innovative robot.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Yeah.
It was like a 10-year-old that's a robot, and then the dad.
It's like, but I watch it now, and I'm just like, knowing what we know about
just creep motherfuckers.
Yeah.
What's gonna happen the instant a robot exists?
Like, it's like...
You can't make it a kid.
It's the...
It's the one...
It's the one sitcom that is for sure reboot-proof.
Yeah.
Because today's technology on robots, combined with the loneliness of men...
Yeah.
...and the creepiness of pedophilia...
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
...that sitcom would take a left turn.
A hundred percent.
Very fast.
It would be like, "Hey, Dad, why is this your life's work?"
And you know what?
You would hear an argument from the pedophile scientist who's like, "Look, you
want me
to fuck kids, or you want me to fuck kid robots?"
Exactly.
You know?
I gotta get it out of my system somehow.
You know what, though?
That's maybe how we'll have robot breakthroughs.
If we charge...
We're like, "Look, you guys get to make kid robots, but they got...
But y'all's gotta make the adult versions that we can...
That are good for the rest of us?"
We will have that technology.
Those shitty, like, Tesla robots that don't do shit, those are gone in a month.
Yeah.
If we tell pedophiles they can figure out...
They can fuck children robots.
If this show was done today, it would be a dialogue and discourse about the age
of consent.
Yeah!
It would easily become...
With all the hilarious hijinks from the internet.
Right, right, right, right.
And at the same time, they'd be slipping on stuff.
And yeah, I don't remember...
I know "Small Wonder" purely as a punchline about weird, shitty old sitcoms.
I'd never watched it.
I missed...
I watched it for a quick minute.
Yeah.
Maybe a season.
I was of that Punky Brewster era.
Sure.
So, you know, rebellious, you know, Macaulay Culkin...
Mm-hmm.
Like, any rebellious white kid...
Right.
'Cause that was like every black kid's dream was to talk shit...
Of course.
Right, right, right.
...to authority.
Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.
Like, fucking different strokes?
These motherfuckers are slick-mouth?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To Mr. Drummond?
Like...
Yeah.
Different strokes are like, "Let's make the subtext the text."
And it's like, just black kids get to live...
Get to directly mouth off to the rich white people instead of just pretend they're
richy-rich.
The funniest shit...
The funniest shit about different strokes...
I miss sitcom openings.
Yeah.
Where the opening of the sitcom...
I love theme songs to sitcoms, but I used to love how sitcom openings, like the
video they would show,
would essentially tell the premise of the show.
Yes, yes.
So no matter where you join the show...
You're fully caught up.
Yeah, you're caught up.
And the different strokes opening sequence...
The song is great, but the opening sequence...
It's Mr. Drummond riding around in a limo.
And he just keeps looking out the window, looking at the window.
Yeah.
And then he just looks, and he just sees two black kids playing basketball in
the hood.
And he fucking waves.
And fucking Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman go scurrying into the limo.
And he drives off.
Like, what the fuck is this show about?
It's just a white dude pulling up on broke niggas.
Come on, niggas.
Come on.
No chance of getting sex trafficked, that's for sure.
Bro, they didn't ask no...
Because in the song, it doesn't establish...
That it's an adoption, that it's a whole thing.
Well, and the lyrics establishes it, but when you're watching it, that was...
Right.
I was microdosing.
And then...
Yeah.
Then he's a man out there, he's a man, but alone came too...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They acknowledge the legal adoption process within the lyrics.
Yes.
Right, right, right, right, right.
But visually...
But visually, it just looks like a fucking rich white man picking up young
black boys.
I mean, small...
Yeah, we're working on some...
It was really...
It was really like...
It's like, of course all of Hollywood is pedophile.
Look at...
The proof was in front of us the whole time.
All the shows just did it outright.
Punky Brewster was an older man.
Hold on, Punky.
Punky, tell that black friend of yours to start for her to go home.
Yeah, I caught a little bit of Punky Brewster.
You were a big sitcom kid?
Yeah, oh yeah, I was huge, bro.
I watched all the things.
Only thing I didn't really rock with was Saved by the Bell.
Not that I hated it, it just didn't...
I don't know, I always found school boring.
Well, it might be a generational thing, too, because you're a little...
Yeah, I'm 46.
Yeah, yeah, you're like 10 years older than me, and so I remember...
So your fantasy of like mouthing off, I was watching...
Because yeah, school sucks when you're actually in high school,
but when you're a little-ass kid, when you're a little fat kid,
and you're like, "Damn, Zach gets all the bitches, everybody loves him."
When I go to fucking high school, I'm going to be like, "Zach."
I'm getting bitches.
That was the fantasy they're selling.
It's for like young...
It's for like, you know, eight-year-olds to be like,
"That's what school's going to be like, and I'm going to be fucking awesome."
Did Slater, did Dustin Diamond's character ever get laid?
Like, did he get some ass at any point?
I don't believe Screech...
I think Lisa like threw him a bone and kissed him on one episode.
Yeah, yeah, true, true.
Because he was obsessed with Lisa.
Yeah.
But even that was like pathetic.
Yeah, yeah.
I know Urkel, you know, Urkel had to transform into Urkel.
At the end though...
But at the end, it was, she did like him for him, right?
Wasn't that the...
I don't know.
Because this is the age I am, I watched, I was invested in the end of Family
Matters as it was going off the air.
Like, I remember late period Family Matters post Urkel, you know, post Stefan
Urkel.
When Urkel was like, when it was clearly like, you know, you know, who's the
actor that plays him?
I'm forgetting.
I'm blanking on him.
Jaleel White.
When he was like, you know, you got to show that I'm not a fucking loser.
I can also fucking like, you know, dance and shit.
Yeah, he forced him.
So I'm reading his memoir right now.
You really are a learned man.
Like, that was my fucking character.
Yeah, yeah.
And I got a lot of respect for Jaleel just as an actor and as a human being.
But like, he really breaks down in that book how it was his mom that was like
defending him
and making sure that like he didn't get fucked over.
Like, I'm paraphrasing how he said it.
But he basically said, nobody ever tried to fuck me.
That's not how he said it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But basically his mother, his mom did a great job of protecting him from the
demons and the evils of Hollywood
and whatever comes with being a child celebrity.
And like for all of the stuff that was in that book, the thing that I found
most interesting so far is that he breaks down
what really happened with Judy Winslow.
Oh, really?
Because you know, everybody jokes like, oh dude, Judy Winslow went upstairs and
started doing porn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was the tutoring according, in his book, according to him.
Like, if you're, I didn't know this.
You have to go to school, right?
You have to go to school, right?
Yeah, you have to go to school as a kid actor.
You have to spend three hours a day on set learning shit.
If you start flunking, they have to fire you from the show.
Wow.
Nigga just wasn't doing her homework.
Yeah.
I got a sneaking suspicion if Urkel was flunking, they'd figure something out.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's like, look, you're a, you're a, you're on the line character.
You gotta learn algebra, bitch.
You can't, you're not important enough to fucking, to, to like, for us to look
the other way.
You're not the starting wide receiver, you're the reserve left tackle, all
right?
Yeah.
You'll get cut before we cheat for you.
We need you in the film room watching tape.
Yeah.
I don't wanna watch tape.
All right, go up them stairs real quick.
And action.
And that was it, man.
But it's, it's really, I mean, it's Jamie Foxworth's story to tell, but it's a
very interesting dichotomy
of just how having two different types of parents on set dictated their trajectories
in two
totally different directions.
Totally.
And like, I don't know, that part of like, watching old sitcoms now that have
children,
knowing what you know, what the business does to most children, it's hard to
watch some
of them because it's just like, fuck that kid probably just, like when you
watch Home Improvement,
I don't remember which one is the one that's always beating on women.
Right.
But, but one of the kids, one of the tool time kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really likes to punch women.
Yeah.
And so when I go back, I can't watch the sitcom.
It's tough.
No, most, it's like, it's like watching like a movie from the seventies, which
like, that
had like a, you know, it's like watching like, not even from the seventies, any
movie with
like animals in it.
Like I bet you, like Homeward Bound, it's like, oh yeah, they killed 12 golden
retriever