Name: Stavvy's World #123 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2025-04-07T10:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #123 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #123 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-07. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #123 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin | Full Episode

Welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904-800 Stav.
Sydney and Maria are here.
I'm regretting it already.
This is not going to be the best episode of all of the time.
You begged us.
You literally begged us.
Oh, I begged you.
I begged you.
Please, black queens, come on.
Relax.
You hit me on text, email.
Stop.
This is a complete fabrication.
Nice try.
Who are you going to do this or that?
I see my friends have a new podcast.
I have to pre-record a bunch of episodes before tour.
I think of them to come out.
And this is how I'm treated.
How are you being treated?
Poorly.
Poorly.
Well, you didn't shave for us, so I'm already, I don't even know why I'm here.
You need me clean shaved?
Yes.
Come on.
It's been a while.
That is true.
She wants to see all your chin.
Bye.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
This level of disrespect.
Don't watch their fucking podcast.
Don't listen to it.
Lord.
Ooh, my bad.
Yes.
How's it going, gang?
What's going on?
I mean.
Feeling good?
I don't know when this is going to drop, but Black History Month.
Oh, well, we're well past that.
Why do you think we here, Marie?
Come on now.
No, no, no.
I just feel the D-E-I quote.
No, no.
That's over.
I don't know if you're paying attention to the news.
No.
That's done.
You know that I am not in trouble.
I'm not associated with that man.
Bring on the sisters.
Us.
Us.
Us.
Yeah, that is true.
That is, yeah.
That's over with.
You're here just because of our friendship.
Yes.
I've stopped.
Yeah, before I was getting Biden.
Biden was sending me checks every time you guys were coming on.
You know what's crazy is the people who are like, I have more money during the
pandemic.
It's like, yeah, you were in the house.
Yeah, you didn't have shit to do.
You didn't have nothing to do.
And everyone was getting unemployment.
Like, so many of my friends got rich because for the first time, they were just
getting
what a human being should make from, like, the bare minimum, what the
government decides
you should get.
And everybody's like, whoa.
Honestly, it wasn't enough.
Better than my bartending job.
Yeah, everybody wasn't enough.
It was like, $600?
I was like, oh, y'all really are poor.
Y'all think $600 a week is good?
This is terror.
This is not even enough for my hair.
I can't.
Of course.
Well, not everybody had a past life where they were, you know, extorting men in
Miami
for thousands of dollars.
Some people need to make do with $600.
Cardi B.
You know, $600 could stretch a nice, long way when you're in the house doing
nothing
but watching TV.
But, you know, your happy birthday.
Thank you.
How are you feeling?
Are you having an existential crisis?
What is that?
It's cheering.
Oh.
There, girl, you're hearing going?
It sounded vegan.
It was like, it was very stuffed, cycled.
Yeah, it wasn't a real, you know.
You know what?
It's fine.
You look great.
I was fucking with you earlier.
You did.
You really did.
You called me washed.
Well, you said.
That was insane.
You said, I feel washed.
Can you zoom the camera in?
And I said, you've been washed.
While he called me washed.
Zoom in the camera.
You know how society works.
We don't laugh.
Don't laugh at this.
Well, when we're laughing, it's because of pain.
Because I, too, know how society works.
Yes.
It affects us all.
Just the girls.
Just the girls.
First of all, I said, there's like a freedom in being washed.
That's what the truth is.
I definitely haven't been washed since I was 20.
I went bald at like 19.
I know what being washed is.
I'm like, bang.
You said you went bald?
You're right.
I have luscious hair now.
I see your confusion.
You're like, well, what do you mean?
You're a man with beautiful hair.
Tresme locs.
Yes, Tresme locs right now.
Honestly, I see a herbal essence.
I would love that.
They are looking for you right now.
That would be sick.
Yeah, that's what I occupy.
I'm like, it's great.
Can we talk about going bald at 19?
Sure.
Now, are you swooping it from the back forward?
What was happening was I had the most vicious type of bald you can have,
which is from the front, doesn't look that bad,
but you just have an ever-growing kind of bald spot that's betraying you.
In the back.
So in the front, I'm like, you know, I'm in the mirror,
like kind of swooping it Ricky Martin style just right
to cover any like, you know, anything going on.
And from one angle in the mirror directly, I'm like, I have hair.
And then I was just like having lunch at fucking at the like, you know,
commons or whatever, like in the main building of the school.
And people were like, yeah.
Somebody was like talking about his friend who was going bald.
He's like, yeah, you're handling it great, Stav.
And I was like, what?
What are you talking?
But I'm a man with beautiful hair.
And that was brutal.
That was, and this was like an autistic engineering guy.
So he wasn't like, it's like, he just says this plain truth
that other people know not to say out loud.
So I was like, oh, if this guy's saying it, it is just fact.
No, let's look at it.
Is it autism or it's just keeping it 100?
No, this was not.
I know what you mean.
There are people that keep it 100.
This was not.
This is a guy who like, it was like, he couldn't really,
he didn't like talking that much.
He was finally kind of out of his shell.
We were like, it was almost like we want to befriend this guy.
I opened him up for him to just destroy me.
Yeah, right.
Because like I hadn't even considered, my whole life I was like,
well, I've just got thin hair.
You know, like that's what I said to myself when I started going
because I had fine, you know, fine hair.
And yeah, I opened him up.
I befriended him just for him to destroy me.
Just for him to be like, nice patch right there.
Yeah, dude, it's tough.
But it led me to buzz my head at that age.
And you buy yourself some time with a buzz
at the early signs of baldness.
And especially at 19, it looks like a choice.
Yeah.
At 30, it doesn't.
I don't know, buzzing your hair at 19 is like,
are you going to the army?
Like, why is all your hair gone?
Like, what's going on?
But that's what I'm saying.
You're asking questions.
Oh, okay.
Oh, sorry.
You know, I'm a man of mystery.
Yeah, did this guy just come back from Iraq?
Maybe.
Right, maybe they saluting you.
They clashing when you walk in.
But not the autistic guy.
No, no.
He's like, he's bald.
Yeah.
He knew what was going on.
But yes, no, he was not a guy who keeps it kept at 100.
No.
I mean, he did, but not in the same way you're describing.
He's not a person of extreme honesty.
But yeah, that was tough.
And so, yeah, for a long time,
I was kind of doing a very specific combing.
And then I just fucking buzzed that shit.
And now, I'm taking the power back.
Now I've decided...
As y'all do.
Was the power ever gone?
Like, the fuck?
That's a good question.
The fuck?
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
This is one of the only types of...
This is a very disrespected hairstyle.
I'm trying to figure out a way...
It's disrespectful.
Right.
It's amazing.
It's what it is.
We've...
You invited us on the pod.
We both got on hot.
Yeah.
Can you loose?
The fact that you didn't put your lace front on for us is upsetting.
Honestly, can we get some baby hair?
I fucking...
I curl them up just right.
I get a little toothbrush.
For Black History Month?
You should have came correct.
Next year, we'll have our annual Black History Month podcast.
And next year, I'm getting a lace front.
And then we have to decide, is that racist or not?
That's a segment.
Is that racist or not?
Is that racist or not?
You people would love it.
They would actually love it.
They would.
I think it would engender some nice debate in the comments.
I have thought about becoming a wig guy.
That's the next move.
You know, I'm going to get Bald Pony, right?
I had to cut it for something, unfortunately, so it slowed down the full bald
ponytail.
You had to cut it.
When you go get a haircut, do you do it here?
Is it DIY?
Or you go to a place and the people...
I had to play someone with short hair in a project.
Wait, no.
Say that again.
You had to play somebody with short hair.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I had, you know, in the...
I had a beautiful long...
Let's not forget how long my hair used to be.
I know.
You almost donated some to me.
You're right.
The back left corner.
That's all me.
Stop.
Lots of love.
I hug ya.
That's how I give back.
Oh, my God.
You know, that's when I see Thor.
Thank you, Marie.
That's what I'm going for.
I don't quit.
I don't want to see Thor's hammer.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've long thought it would be a funny move to actually steal a move from
the black
woman playbook.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
And just be wig guy.
The Kylie Jenner's, Miley Cyrus, them bitches be wearing that stuff too.
That's true.
You're right.
Sabrina Carpenter's hair is not that big.
That was not their move at first.
It eventually is trickling down is all I'm saying.
Okay.
I'm trying to give you credit here.
I'm not trying to, you know, usurp it.
Yeah, but you know, stop.
I feel like there's been a rise in men going, you know, to Turkey and going to
get their hair
plugs and stuff here if they have money.
Sure.
Like, why not get you a little more?
Why not get plugged up?
Yeah.
You already did a buzz.
Okay, but I've been looking at the plugs, Marie, and...
You think you can tell?
Yeah, you don't know.
It's a hit or miss.
Sure, definitely.
Some of them, it's like, oh, you got to go back to Turkey.
You got to live in Turkey.
Yeah.
You have to open a Turkish restaurant.
Turn your passport in.
You can't be walking around, you know, Bed-Stuy with that.
Well, you can't get Groupon hair.
You got to get...
If you want it to look good, you got to spend good money.
Yeah, but even still, it's like...
I would splurge.
You would splurge.
I mean, you got it.
I would splurge if I had to.
But philosophically, I don't want to.
But what do you mean if you have to?
What would...
Why would you have to do it yet?
Why you don't think you got to right now?
Stop.
Remember when you didn't have a tooth?
I was like, when did you have to get a tooth?
That's what I want to know.
Let's get there.
I think a couple years into being toothless, I was like, this has gone on long
enough.
You know?
I think I have longer on the haircut, though.
It was definitely your brand.
It was a choice.
And I mean, I think, Sydney, you got to think about it like this.
Oh, yeah.
Girls are still giving him some.
Absolutely.
Regularly.
I do what the market dictates.
What was wrong with y'all?
Don't worry.
We're going to get into them in a minute.
So, you're about to see what's wrong with them.
Let's take our time.
Maybe having you on at the same time was a mistake.
Because separately, I can figure this out.
But you've got me two on one right now.
Well, you've been on the pod, and you talked about having two girls at the same
damn time.
On the first incarnation of the pod.
What's it now?
What's it called now?
Mess.
Mess.
Beautiful.
Which, I mean, we're laying it on thick here.
I'm coming.
I will definitely do the pod.
But yes, that is, I definitely was the way that bit was born, this threesome
bit that
I ended my first special with, was just telling it to you guys on your podcast.
It had happened freshly.
And I was like, this is crazy.
Did we get a credit or anything?
I should have given you a special thanks.
When we're in a thank you?
I should have given you a special thanks.
Not in a special thanks.
That's crazy.
I'm sorry.
You didn't get a special thanks on a YouTube video.
I'll get you on the next one.
This is the one where you were in that, like, there was like a buffalo behind
you or something?
Yeah, the Lodge, live at the Lodge Room.
The Lodge.
In L.A.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It used to be a Masonic temple.
It really paired well with everything that you had going on.
Thank you, thank you.
I do like that, but I love doing that special.
And you got on Netflix, so, you know, that's also kind of us.
Well, there was nothing for it.
We didn't riff any threesome stories out on that one.
Wel