Name: Stavvy's World #130 - PFT | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2025-05-26T10:00:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #130 - PFT | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #130 - PFT | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-26. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #130 - PFT | Full Episode

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all
your problems.
We are here in our Chicago, our little Chicago stint. We're at the Barstool
headquarters.
We got our boy PFT, Eric Suck-Dicken-Burger, is that correct?
Suck-Dicken-Burger. It was Suck-Dicken-Berg, but then I tried to change it if I
wanted to be mainstream.
I love it, dude. Our boy PFT, thanks for coming, dude. Thanks for being on the
show.
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's interesting because you really did get, you got famous and you were
as a, starting as a character.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? Because even after we were friends, it took me maybe a
year to learn your actual name.
Yeah, I like it like that, yeah.
And even your last, like, even your last, and it feels strange to call you Eric,
even.
And that must be, you're like, definitely people feel, you know, there's a
separation between who you are on mic and who you are off for everyone.
But for you, it must be, like, extra kind of schizophrenic, because you're such
a defined character.
And then you're just like, this guy that, like, I feel like I've hung out with
Eric, like, for four hours of my whole life.
Uh-huh.
You know what I mean?
You spent more time with PFT, yeah.
Yeah, I spent more time with PFT, and I've been thinking about PFT, because,
like, before I knew you, I actually did, I would read KSK.
Yeah.
And so I knew, I knew that character, and I was like, I was confused as to what
the fuck was going on when you first popped up.
And then, like, when you, and then when it was you and you were just like a
young guy, like, you know what I mean?
Like, I didn't really know what was, and for those who aren't big, like, you
know, football blog readers from 2011, like I was,
PFT was a, you were a character making fun of old guys on a website called Pro
Football Talk.
Yeah, yeah, the comment section.
Exactly.
So you were, you were basically, like, in, like, sports Reddit guys, basically.
Yeah.
You were making fun of a, of the comment section of a, of a sort of, like, the,
a pro football talk is a little more old.
Does it skew older, would you say, or what do you think?
I think it skews a little bit older.
Yeah.
And it definitely did at the time, and it was, uh, it was, like, the stupidest
football fans.
Yes, yes.
But also kind of the most entertaining.
Of course.
With, like, the craziest takes.
Yes.
So, yeah, I mean, I would have to, I would sit down at my computer and write
blogs for, like, five hours.
Like, five hours at a time.
And then I would have to do something that made me feel like I wasn't a
complete fucking moron afterwards.
Right.
Right.
Otherwise, I would just start to think like this guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I would, like, log off and then go pick up a book and just look at the book
for a little bit.
Right.
So I felt like I wasn't turning into this guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, now it's more, I would say now what you get in terms of what I do, a
part of my take is, like, 60% PFT, 40% Eric.
Sure.
Because.
You're weaning them in.
You're letting them slowly learn you as a human being.
Yeah.
Instead of a troll character.
And for those people that weren't online chronically from, like, 2012 to 2015.
Right.
Like absorbing the culture that I was, that the character was born in.
Of course.
You lose a lot of that context.
Yes.
And so I still, like, me and Big Cat still do a lot of the trolly stuff.
Of course.
We still, like, fuck around.
But, yeah, you're starting to see more and more of the real Eric.
Yeah.
Of you as a human being.
Yeah.
And not just, like, an ethereal idea.
Yeah.
You know, like, even like, like, I feel like I didn't see your eyes until.
Yeah.
Like, I just had no idea what your eyes looked like.
You were a sunglasses guy.
I didn't want people to know what I looked like.
I was like, surely I'll be able to work at Barstool Sports and stay off camera.
Yeah.
That was honestly my idea.
That's awesome.
Like, I didn't want people to know what I looked like for a long time.
That would have been fun, though, actually.
I think, like, or you're just a shadowy figure in glasses and, like, you're lit
kind of poorly.
Yeah.
They should have done that.
Well, we tried to do stuff like that at first.
And then, like, everybody, we would hire just interns for the summer.
And their job would be to walk around with a camera.
Right.
And videotape everything that's going on.
Right, right, right.
And sometimes I would be in the background.
Yeah.
And then they'd have to, like, look at their phone and be like, oh, shit, I
have to delete
this because PFT was in the background.
I'm like, now I'm making this, like, 19-year-old's job harder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, fuck it.
I'll just be on camera a little bit more.
But, yeah.
I got really into the character for a little bit.
Like, I planned a lot of stuff out because I didn't want people to know my real
name.
It was funny if they could just, like, pretend that this was an actual guy,
suspend disbelief.
So, I sat down one day and I was like, I got to think of a name for this guy.
Like, what would his name be?
And the name I settled on was Wayne Tables.
Wayne Tables isn't bad.
Because, like, Wayne is a great shithead name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then his family, if you go back throughout the years, like, they had a job.
They worked with their hands.
But they're not, like, you can't say carpenter.
They weren't good enough at everything.
Sure, sure.
They just built tables.
They could make tables.
Yeah, they built tables.
So, it's like, Wayne Tables was the name I was going to go with.
Wayne Tables.
Yeah, that's so fascinating.
And then Dickie V called me Patrick the other day.
Because before we did our interview with him.
This was PFT.
Yeah.
There's a T and a P in there.
Well, at the start of it, he was like, my grandkids told me, you got to go on
with
Big Cat and PDF.
And I was like, I hope he doesn't call me PDF.
Yeah.
Like, you can arrange those any other way that you want.
And then halfway through the interview, he went from calling me PTF, and he
just switched
up.
And he started calling me Patrick.
That's awesome, dude.
And I was like, fuck it.
If Dickie V calls me Patrick, I'm Patrick.
I'm Patrick now.
Yeah.
I'll be your bitch, Dickie V.
I love it, dude.
Shout out to Dickie V. Old as hell.
Yeah.
He's kicking, man.
Old as hell, still kicking.
Goddamn.
That is very funny, dude.
And then what is the, yeah, it's funny to just think of you as like an ethereal,
but probably
when it really comes down to it, you're just a guy.
He's literally a guy, some guy from, were you from Virginia or where were you
from?
Yeah, Fairfax County originally.
Oh, Fairfax.
Okay.
I did some open mics in Fairfax.
Oh, yeah?
So you're, yeah, you're a fellow sort of DMV boy.
I am.
I was an O's fan.
I don't want to say like fan.
I guess I liked the Orioles when I was growing up because it was like, if you
go to a Major
League Baseball game, it's going to be the Orioles.
We had a lot of that.
We had a lot of like, we, like Angelos was mad when the Nationals came around
because he
was just like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
I don't have to try and these people are my fans.
Yeah.
No, Baltimore, yeah.
I mean, the Orioles were great, but it's just, the ballpark was great when we
were kids
too.
It was just like a fun, fun place to be.
My first game was at Memorial Stadium.
Oh, shit.
So I went to like the old one.
That was my first baseball game.
That's fucking crazy.
I would go to an Orioles game, like maybe once or twice a year.
But then the second we got the Nats, I was like, fuck that.
Yeah.
Like that's, that's my team now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I could never like root for any DC.
It just feels so wrong to refer anything from DC as a Baltimore.
Yeah.
We're just such different, we're such different towns.
Why DC was your father, like an evil weapons contractor?
Yeah.
My dad was no.
Are you in the CIA, are you in the, are you a CIA plant?
My grandfather did work for the state department for a little bit.
Whoa.
But he got hired.
He was the guy that would like decide, he would help people when they were
doing the foreign
service exam.
Cause like back in the, I want to say thirties, if you're going to be a diplomat
somewhere,
they didn't even make you learn the language to go over there.
That's how dumb we were.
And, and he was a missionary to China for like 30 years back.
Oh wow.
Your grandfather?
I just found out he was, he was at the rape of Nanking.
What?
What was he up to?
Which, which side of those?
He put on a fucking samurai outfit and it was like, all right, switching sides.
No, he was like, he was working.
Jesus Christ.
He was there.
He was, he was like delivering food to the Chinese and like.
Oh my God.
Helping the Chinese farmers and peasants like escape what was going on.
So he was working with like the communists and the nationalists at the same
time.
Cause at the time it was like.
It was just one big.
Yeah.
China was kind of all over the place.
We'll settle our differences after Japan gets the fuck out of here.
Yeah.
So he was over there for a little bit.
And then he came back to the U.S. and he said, I want to keep working, doing
the same job that I'm doing, but I don't want to work with the church anymore.
Can the government, can, I think it would be beneficial to the U.S. if we
helped the poor people in China survive after World War II.
Right.
And so.
Some hearts and minds type stuff.
Hearts and minds.
Yeah.
What is it?
Belts and whatever it is that China's doing.
Yeah.
But then he came back to D.C. and he started working for the State Department
and the Foreign Service Institute.
Helping people, like putting in rules like you have to be able to speak the
language if you're going to work there.
And so he worked there for a little bit and moved out to McLean, like a tiny
house.
And then like giant mansions just popped.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So his neighbors were all like lobbyists and lawyers by the end of his life out
there.
Brutal.
Yeah.
So he didn't really like his neighbors too much.
Yeah.
He was like, I don't want to work for the corrupt church anymore.
What I need to do is work for the State Department of the United States.
Exactly.
Maybe the only, I don't know what's more corrupt, the Catholic Church or the
intelligence community.
Yeah.
But either way, it ain't good.
Either way, you're not surrounded by the best people.
That's fucking crazy.
I mean, did you, so was that like, were you like surrounded by that?
So you started your life there.
Did you grow up there the whole time?
Were you in Fairfax the whole time?
I was in Herndon growing up.
Oh, Herndon.
Okay.
My street in Herndon was like run by MS-13.
Oh, hell yeah.
Which is crazy because if you look at like the evolution of MS-13 as a gang.
Yeah.
I think it started in LA.
Okay.
And then it sprouted out to like Herndon, Virginia.
Interesting.
In Fairfax County.
Which one guy moved there.
It might have been something like that.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, it was like a very El Salvadorian neighborhood.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
That I grew up in.
But it was, yeah, it was a pretty, pretty chill.
Yeah.
Like they didn't fuck with me too much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were just like, okay, he's gonna walk to school.
Let him walk to school.
Right, right.
These are definitely supermarcados that I was not supposed to go in.
Sure, sure, sure.
At certain hours.
I'll say this though.
People don't talk about El Salvadorian food.
Yeah, yeah.
Papousas are delicious.
Really good stuff.
Really good.
I mean, it's the same ingredients.
It's like flour, cheese.
Yeah, but they do it in a better, it's like kind of mashed up in a nice way.
It's like a cheesy, it's like a better, it's like the best version of stuffed
crust
pizza possible.
Yeah.
If you took the idea of a stuffed crust, separate it from the pizza and just
make it something
cheesy, a little cheesy pocket.
Yeah.
Great stuff.
It is good.
The Papousas are great.
What's the crew look like?
Who are you fleeing MS-13 with as a suburban Virgini