Name: Stavvy's World #150 - Rosebud Baker | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2025-10-13T10:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #150 - Rosebud Baker | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #150 - Rosebud Baker | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-13. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #150 - Rosebud Baker | Full Episode

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World, 904-800-STAV.
Call in, we'll solve your problems.
Coming at you early, Rosebud's struggling.
Yeah, I really am.
Not drinking anymore, just up late.
Just up late, I was dancing.
Wow, dancing.
I was just dancing with pals.
And friend of the show, Marie Faustin, who...
I don't recall either one of us getting invites to this party, Elvis.
Friends for a decade, at least I am, I don't know about you.
Was that her birthday?
Was it, what was it?
It was her birthday.
Wow.
Can you believe this?
But I think everybody was invited.
Was any straight man there?
I can't recall.
That might be the one...
I can't recall.
If it's all women and gay guys, then maybe I'll let it slide.
I think Che showed up late.
Maybe Devin was there.
And Devin was there.
Yeah, yeah.
It was pretty...
And they both sat on the side.
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
Would that have been so much to ask?
To sit on the side and eat the snacks.
Hands in his pockets.
None of the gay guys were eating.
I would have loved to do that.
It was great.
There was edibles on every table.
There was the Plan B pill was on every table.
I love that.
Which was great because it was just women and gay men.
Gay guys taking it?
Yeah, take it for your pocket.
Yeah, put it in your pocket.
In your back pocket.
I wonder if there is a guy so gay he's mistakenly taken Plan B...
As prep.
...after unprotected sex.
He's like, I can't be a mother after he's just getting spit-roasted at a gay
club.
Yeah.
That would be nice.
I'm sure someone has done that.
So high on ecstasy.
I always think prep is like Plan B for the gays.
Right.
I don't think it works.
I don't think it's like per load.
No, no.
That would be a lot of pills.
They'd be fucking...
They'd have maracas.
They'd be walking around.
Is it per sperm?
It's per sperm.
Oh, man.
The Plan B days.
Yeah.
I have really nervously purchased some Plan B and not asked to see someone go,
ah, but
really looked at them and been like, why don't we go get coffee immediately?
Let me check under the tongue.
Like a rehab.
Hey, do you want a smoothie?
Drink it all right now.
You turn into like James Bond trying to suss up the criminal guy.
Oh, dude.
Oh, good Lord.
I mean, I have told this story before, but there was a moment where I was like,
I watched
the Jenny Slate movie, Obvious Child, where the girl had been like, kind of,
you know,
I'd been like dating casually for a while.
Not a mention of condoms.
This is, you know, I'm in my early 20s.
Not a mention of condoms.
In my head, I'm like, well, this is a responsible woman.
She's not letting me raw dog.
Right.
And then she goes, phew, I could never...
And it's like Jenny Slate gets an abortion.
She's like, oh, I could never do that.
I was like, yeah, but you know, you're on the pill.
And she's like, I'm not on the pill.
And I was like, oh.
This is my life flash before my eyes.
You never checked.
I'm like fucking CVS open now.
It was late.
We went first thing in the morning.
Damn.
Yeah.
Tough stuff.
I think I just took...
I'll take it.
Like, I'll just pick it up.
If it was there, like last night, I just picked it up.
Sure.
Because I was like...
Old habits die hard.
I'm like, I'm not going to leave it there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
It's good to have.
Yeah.
Also, I'm not having a second fucking kid.
You're done.
I'm done.
I'm done-zo.
Yeah.
And that's the toll on your body or the idea of like having another child
running around?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The toll on your life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah, because I get that because...
I'm not saying like it's not worth it, but I'm just saying it's crazy different
than it.
But the devil's advocate, it's like if you had one fat, like if you adopted one
right
now, right?
You kind of get all the bullshit out at once and then you just kind of let them
cohabitate.
That's what people think.
That's what people think.
They go, oh, I'm just going to get it all out of the way.
And then like they have a second kid and the next time you see them, they just
look like
they're fleeing a war-torn country.
Like they're fucked up.
Yeah, absolutely.
It does.
It takes over your life.
Well, I feel, I mean, my parents had the exact same thing happen where it was
like they
wanted two kids and they had me first and then they had twins after me.
And if they had the twins first, there's no other kid.
Right.
And so they just got, and they were poor as fuck.
Like there was not like a, there was no, yo, okay, well, fuck it.
I'll hit the road a little more.
Yeah.
There's no, there's no, I'll do clubs I hate doing or whatever.
There was like, oh, we're, I mean, they figured it out, whatever.
I still just look, I would love to see footage of the way we were raised.
Like I would love to see the gruel we were.
I mean, we were, we were a big cream of wheat family.
Yeah.
Eldest, God knows what fucking kind of refugee milk sacks.
What UN powdered milk you were fucking raised on from ages four to fucking six.
Hey, we were getting good bargains at Sam's Club.
Buy in bulk.
But the Albania, Greece, Eldest was literally, he spent a year in a Greek
monastery.
Damn.
Like his parents were, they were legitimate refugees on their way to.
They just left you there and took off.
They got our papers in order there.
Yeah.
He was at a way station.
We visited it when we were in Greece last year.
Damn.
Or two years ago.
It was kind of wild.
You walk in, the memories come flooding back.
Honestly, yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, I said this, it felt like I found something I never knew I lost.
It was crazy.
You said that.
Damn.
That's beautiful.
That's poetic.
I can hear those words echoing through the monastery.
Eldest, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, my first memories from life are there.
It was cool.
That is crazy.
It was crazy.
We like found the nun that like was teaching me and my sister how to like speak
Greek.
Whoa.
She was like not religious at all, right?
Right.
Sometimes you meet a religious person.
Yeah, yeah.
She was fucking huge.
No.
There was like a energy vibrating off this woman.
Really?
Where I was like, I don't think like exactly whatever exact Bible shit she
thinks is real
is real, but she is tapped into something that, because I do think there's like
a layer
of shit we don't understand, like a consciousness, an energy, whatever, like
that people have
sort of, sort of like religion.
And I think sometimes people tap into that and they think it's like the Bible
that was written 4,000 years ago or whatever scripture they believe in.
No, I think there's like a spirituality thing that if you get into it, like you
can feel it from people.
And then I think people use the religions they understand as a conduit to get
closer to it.
Yeah.
Or like at least some people who have these, who are connected in that way.
Right.
Like, I don't even think they're that different from like a motherfucker that
like is a fortune teller or something.
Like I think they're kind of, all those people have like some kind of, I think
there are people who are sort of just more mystically kind of inclined in a
weird way.
This woman was like that, dude.
She had like a, like I, for like three hours driving away, was like, is God
real?
Yeah.
I was like, it's just like being around this lady.
Right.
And just like her, her folk, her like zeroed, it was like.
The way that like, I feel like it's the way people make eye contact.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like if you meet somebody who's like super spiritual, they can make eye
contact and they will not break.
Totally.
And they're not even a little bit afraid.
They're not hiding anything.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're fully, like they've given their life to something.
They're just present.
They're so, they're present in a way that's like unnerving.
That's like, fuck, that's like, you're like, well, I'm glad they're not evil.
Right.
It's like if they, if someone was like this in the, like so in control and evil,
it would be crazy.
And staring into my soul like this and evil.
And you feel like they know so much about you and they're just like, they can
just size you up.
When I first got sober and I like went into like the program and shit and I
would meet people who'd been sober for a long time.
I remember being so freaked out by the way that they would like stare into my
soul.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I was like, oh, they know everything I've fucking done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So bad.
Well, yeah, somebody like that who's been, who's now on the other side of it,
but was you at a certain point.
Yeah.
That, that is like an understanding.
They told, it's like you looking at a little kid.
Yeah.
It's like you looking at like a, like when you're a kid is like a teenager and
she's like hiding drugs or booze or whatever.
And you're like, aw.
You're like, oh, I know what you're doing.
That's cute.
I'm so far ahead of you.
Like, this is crazy.
Like, they were, you were like unnerved, but they were, they probably looked at
you like a little kid.
Yeah, there was like nothing but compassion in their eyes.
And I was like, she fucking hates me.
You know, it's just self-hating.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
That's cool though.
But no, that was, that was, that was definitely wild.
But anyway, yeah, that was, that was the bomb that was dropped on my parents
was like an extra kid.
But I can't believe you were able to tie it back to that.
I had no idea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had no idea how we got here.
Hosting, baby.
Look at you.
This is what happens when you, by accident, spend a decade of your life podcasting.
Yeah.
Like, hours a day.
Yeah.
You're able to fucking make those connections.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would just, I would have sat here two minutes of silence.
We would have gone on sobriety for a while.
Two minutes of silence.
I would have been like, what was it?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, just, and my other thing, and this is total, like, I don't have kids
privilege.
This is like when somebody tells you, somebody tells you how, it's like, it's
classic, like,
how the scientific shit Republicans, the panels for women's health are all,
like, the oldest
men you've ever seen in your life.
Yeah.
They're just totally, like, I don't have kids.
I don't know if I'll ever have kids.
But I'm always like, you can't have an only child.
Like, I have that, only children are weird.
You can't be bringing more into the world.
Yeah.
That's my, like, I tell you how you should live your life.
I know.
Strong belief.
Yeah.
And I always feel like an asshole doing it.
But is there a worry that you will have an only child that's kind of weird?
Um, not really.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, like, if it's not a worry.
Sure.
I'll put it that way.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Could she end up weird?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Yeah.
Is that going to be my problem?
Well, she'd probably end up weird because she's half you and Andy.
Yeah.
To begin with.
She's going to be a weirdo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's absolutely going to be a weirdo, but, like, I don't really worry about it
because
I feel like in New York, there's nothing for kids to do in their homes, so
every kid
has, like, they're all, like, in, like, an activity every fucking day, and so
the people
that they spend their time with are, like, their peers.
Sure.
So the way that I kind of rationalize it to myself, which is probably what I'm
doing,
is just go, like, ah, she's going to be, like, out of the house most of the
time.
The way, like, what you say when you get a shitty apartment.
Yeah.
You're like, ah, I mean, I don't need a fucking...
What, am I going to lay my head here?
Yeah, I'm going to be out and about all the time.
I don't need a window.
I'm not going to see this place.
She doesn't need to be socialized in her home.
She'll get socialized in the fucking subway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think she's also, like, I just watch her, and I'm like, oh, she's good.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, she is so fucking social, and so...
She has, like, five best friends.
That's so cute.
That she'll, like, come home, and she's like, this is my best friend.
This is my best frien