Name: Stavvy's World #151 - Are You Garbage? | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2025-10-20T10:00:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #151 - Are You Garbage? | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #151 - Are You Garbage? | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-20. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #151 - Are You Garbage? | Full Episode

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in. We'll solve all
your problems.
What a beautiful day. We have our boys, Are You Garbage? Back on the fucking
couch.
Shout out to it, dude. I like how the intro music's now on a boombox.
You're in our temporary Manhattan studios here in the NYU Tisch School.
Nice joint. A real nice joint. This is wild.
Eldest is now an adjunct professor of podcast production.
This is on campus. This is so crazy, dude.
We're right next to the dean's office.
Dude, we walked in the building. The guy was like, what the fuck are you doing?
It looks like we're here to fix the air conditioning.
I wonder what they think when I come in. I come in like every single day.
And I'm like, hey, going to Stavs.
Probably thinking GI Bill. They see you coming through the door.
0.4 GPA. Hanging in there.
How dare you? Eldest was a strong 3.4 English major.
No, I was better than that. I think I was a 3.6 at least, not to brag.
You finished college?
3.6 is great.
I did finish college. I had a real bad year. Sophomore year. I was like super
depressed.
I failed a Shakespeare class. I didn't feel good.
And that made you depressed?
No, that was kind of because of the depression.
Stupid Twelfth Night.
Yeah, reading Shakespeare didn't help the depression.
Sure.
But, you know, yeah, I was good in school. I was out there.
Yeah, you're talking to a couple of good students here, fellas.
Yeah.
You too?
I was, yeah, yeah.
Were you?
No, you're quite, you're quite intellectual.
I was very intellectual.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you guys are so fucking stupid.
Hey, I had a 2.5 at Temple University.
2.4.9, I round up.
I resent that comment.
Put my glasses on.
Yeah, the number one idiot thing.
Thinking putting glasses on makes you smart.
Put them on upside down.
Dude, go for a bit.
When I first, when you started, first came to the city, I didn't, obviously,
you know,
you're brand new and you were hanging out with Bobby a lot.
And you'd be on YKWD and I'd be like, this guy is a fucking genius.
I was like, dude, he knows about everything.
I know.
He was missing a tooth.
I know.
That came later. The missing tooth came later.
But then you really fell apart at the seams.
And I was like, all right, maybe this guy doesn't have it all together as much
as I thought.
I was running on fumes.
There was like, the way I say it, once I started comedy for real, I was like,
all right, this
is where my brain is going.
Yeah, and everything else just, it has to break down to zero.
It's a hundred.
I've cannibalized all my knowledge.
Sure.
To just be a little better at comedy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, it's pathetic to be able to do podcasts.
And so right when I moved was the tail end of like my inherited knowledge from
when
when I was in college.
Sure.
And then it was just, you know, 25 to 26.
And then 26 to 27, I was a fucking idiot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was Flowers for Algernon, basically, where I just became a fucking idiot all
over again.
Read Memores of a Geisha or something like that.
I have a lot of ideas.
Sorry, it's a literary reference.
It does work, guys.
I read Atlas Shrugged.
I felt stupid.
I mean, that's hysterical.
You guys read that?
Atlas Shrugged.
Yeah.
That's the one book you've read?
No, he didn't read it.
I got to call him out.
He didn't read it.
You might have read the cover.
I read most of it.
How did you feel about Atlas Shrugged?
I thought it was cool.
Those wizards were weird.
I have about five minutes on pretty much like any arena.
I got about five minutes where I can sound smart.
I went to a woman.
Dude, I mean, you know, you make me, you come, you make statements like that.
I do, I do.
And you make me, this is why people think I'm an asshole, because I can't just
let you lie.
Give me five minutes on any topic.
What?
Atlas Shrugged, the book you said you read.
It's about a guy named Henry Reardon.
It's really an intellectual piece.
Uh-huh.
Oh, he's it?
All right, he's vamping already.
Second line in.
Oh, it's an intellectual piece, huh?
Folks, we'll be right back.
With Oasis.
I went to a wedding one time, and somehow I got sat next to, I swear to God, a
NASA scientist,
this older guy.
And I don't know, I had literally just the right amount, I had like two and a
half beers
in me.
That's a good amount.
I had a couple of bacon wrapped scallops, and I had a five-minute conversation
with this
guy, and he went to my parents afterwards.
He's like, you know, your son is very intelligent.
I was like, I saw that shit on Ancient Aliens last night.
Your hair's all fucked up.
Oh, that's fucking awesome.
Did we go to the moon?
Yeah.
Or maybe not, like some ancient astronaut theorist project.
Your son's very intelligent, this fucking dumbass.
I got nothing in the tank to talk to anybody about.
I'll just ask questions to sound and get, and I feel like if I get a couple
good questions,
you know what I mean?
How does that happen?
Ask a clarifying question.
They tell you something.
You're like, hmm, so that's actually, so what is that?
How does that implicate the other thing?
You just have to kind of like, oh, yeah, yeah.
Within the conversation.
Within the five words you got, you got to bridge two of them together.
Absolutely.
Are you happy in your work?
Oh, that's always smart.
Oh, Santa Fe chicken wraps.
Hang on.
One second.
And do you find that fulfilling?
That's good, because you make them be introspective.
Yes.
Now it's not about facts.
Now it's about emotions.
Yeah.
Now we've entered the artist's arena.
Sure.
And I know you at that wedding felt that way.
You were a thespian, I'm sure.
For sure.
I can hit a...
I think it was pocad was the term.
I can do a...
I got like one or two half Shakespeare monologues in me.
I got two or three.
I got like an E.E. Cummings quote.
Okay.
I can hit you something from the beginning of The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
by T.S.
Elliot from Dante's Inferno.
After that, it's all Phillies.
The end of Home Alone.
You want it?
That's my granddaughter up there.
Oh, that reminds me of the end of Aladdin when he sets the genie free.
Jafar was really a tortured individual.
Do you have a favorite production you were in, Foley?
Any kind?
Because now we're talking Shakespeare.
Did you ever talk about you like acting?
Back then?
Sure.
Currently?
Not currently.
At any point in your acting career, before we got you to...
I had a little bit of mustard on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
By the way, we never talked about this.
Do you remember the conversation, me, you, and who the fuck else was sitting
there?
When Thomas Hayden Church was sitting in the office at Tires?
Yeah.
We were having the fattest conversation.
We really were.
It was me and you, and Thomas Hayden Church were just trapped between us.
And we're talking about how we like to order bacon cheeseburgers.
We're having a how do you get your money's worth at checkers level conversation
with just a great actor.
That's what you do.
And he was like, hmm, and he's like trying to be polite.
Yeah.
You can tell in his heart what he wants to say is, shut the fuck up, you fat cocksuckers.
I think I said something like, you feel like you're right back in Hollywood,
huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't remember, but it really was a wildly fat conversation.
Oh, dude, it was out of control.
Like, we should have been ashamed to be having it alone.
I know.
Let alone on set in front of the world-renowned actors.
Yeah, yeah.
He was gorgeous, by the way.
He's a good-looking guy.
Good-looking dude.
Great actor, too.
All his scenes came out great in Tires.
Yeah, he was awesome, man.
He was awesome.
He was fun to work with.
But yeah, I did feel bad for him.
I only did one actual production of Shakespeare.
I did Twelfth Night at the Hedgerow Theater.
Okay.
And I played one of the cops.
Okay.
And I remember that, like, none of us knew what the fuck.
Like, you said you studied Shakespeare.
That's, first of all, that's one of those things that there's maybe, I don't
know, 2,000 people in the world
that should be allowed to perform that in front of other people.
Theoretically.
Shakespeare, you're saying.
Yes, for sure.
And, I mean, I'm real stupid, but you can't even understand what the fuck that
guy's saying
unless somebody breaks it down.
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
That's your mother, you sick fuck, dude.
Unless you have someone that can break it down.
So, they hired some guy.
They hired a Philly trash translator.
Yeah, this isn't Delco, by the way.
This isn't like Center City.
This isn't Rose Valley, Pennsylvania.
It's an accredited institution.
This isn't at the Miller Theater.
This is, like, fucking YMCA-level Delco shit.
No, no, no.
He gets so mad.
I literally, all I have to say is YMCA, he gets so mad.
Very good theater, very smart people.
I just happened to be an idiot, and they had to, like, bring somebody in to,
like, explain.
Like, I don't understand the language.
It's an old English, you know what I mean?
Right, right, right.
And that's a good one.
You're starting to know what new English do, by the way.
Yeah, I like Twelfth Night, you know?
It doesn't have to be Shakespeare.
Just any production.
I did Biloxi Blues.
That was great.
Okay.
Yeah, that was fun.
What was your role in Biloxi Blues?
Wieckowski, or whatever his name was.
The, like, the mean, racist Polish guy.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that was cool.
I'm not familiar.
That sounds good.
Did Winnie the Pooh.
A little more your speed.
I'm more of an Eeyore man.
This is fun.
I was Eeyore.
I did my Eeyore.
Yeah, no shit, dude.
No shit.
And this was children's theater.
We had to do children's theater every Saturday, and they packed this place out.
Yeah, that was probably the best.
Dude, it was awesome.
Yeah.
And me and my roommate, smoking a lot of weed at the time, a couple other
things.
We were doing-
She'd be hanging around the children on Saturdays.
We were fucking all coming off a bender, dressed as a fucking-
Harry, shut up!
Why?
Oh, Elders just decided to check the frame.
There we go.
We've been recording 10 minutes.
It dawned on him.
He should maybe see-
It's Alvon Garner.
You're a goddamn movie star.
You get away with that.
That's right.
Tom Soderbergh's directing this thing.
That's right.
That's right.
Shoot the whole thing from the floor.
Uh-oh.
He's doing a little adjustment.
That's not a good sign.
No, big man's walking the boards up here.
He's scooching closer and closer to me.
We did what we were doing, um, uh, Winnie the Pooh.
I think I've told you this, Kevin.
And me and my roommate are, like, doing a scene back and forth.
And I come out and I'm like, what happened to Piglet's house?
And I'm talking 150 kids and their parents packed in.
They're hanging on every fucking word.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the line's supposed to be, Piglet's house blew down.
And my roommate goes, I'll go, what happened to Piglet?
And he's like, his house burned down.
And she goes, ah!
Burned down?
And 200 kids are like, ah!
Fucking brutal.
He's, smell that?
He's fucking baking.
Cooking him low and slow, baby.
They wrapped him in a fucking crescent roll.
He's a pig in the blank.
He's a Piglet in the blanket now.
Did you study any acting before you did?
I pictured that scene from, uh, Blades' Glory or whatever,
when Will Ferrell's doing, like, the, uh, Disney on ice and he's in the helmet.
That's how I picked it all fucked up.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's just a fucking puking in there.
Yeah, what was the costume setup?
It wasn't great.
It was, like, gray sweatpants.
You got a boner, you're flopping around.
Gray sweatpants.
And face paint, I guess?
Or did you have a mask?
Yeah, a little bit of face paint and then, like, you know.
A set of ears or something.
Yeah, a set of ears.
Sure.
It's all fluffy.
It's bad.
And that was children's theater on top of a regular production?
Yeah, we did that every Saturday.
During the week, you would do, you know, Biloxi Blues.
If we were in, if we were in whatever, so the way it worked is we, we lived at
the, uh, the farmhouse that they had.
We studied every d