Name: Stavvy's World #153 - Caleb Hearon | Full Episode
Uploaded: 2025-11-03T11:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #153 - Caleb Hearon | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavvy's World #153 - Caleb Hearon | Full Episode' from Stavvy's World on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-03. Transcript available.

Stavvy's World #153 - Caleb Hearon | Full Episode

hello folks we have an incredible episode with my pal caleb coming up in just a
second you're
gonna love it but first i want to let you know the dream boat tour is back for
2026 if we didn't
come to your city last year we're coming this year a lot over 30 new cities
plus we're doing
a little november run so this week coming up memphis on the 6th huntsville on
the 7th and then we also
have a couple tickets left for boston in december but in 2026 we're coming to
tampa hollywood florida
red bank new jersey philly burlington vermont buffalo we're coming to lexington
ohio des moines
springfield missouri st louis all over the place minnesota rockford illinois
biloxi oh baby
new york new york radio city music hall i'm pumped about that orlando jacksonville
i mean it goes on
and on atlanta morgantown fort wayne bloomington detroit grand rapids milwaukee
providence rochester
good googly moogly we're coming to a lot of towns get your tickets now we will
see you then and right
now enjoy the podcast with caleb
welcome everybody to stop his world 904-800-STOP call in we'll solve your
problems
returning to the show our good friend caleb here and how you doing buddy
give him the cheers hey dude how's it going good man you know or you know this
it's not early
but it's the first thing i'm doing today yeah so it feels like it's 7 a.m in my
head
i'm i want to tell the listeners it almost couldn't be later in the day it's 11
20
it could be quite later i'm worried about you yeah go ahead i just want to
start there because
let's get into it because you've changed okay yep yeah the last time i did the
podcast i showed up to
you a cracked in yes there was no front the front door didn't lock i showed up
and there were three
rats in leather jackets twirling chains and shaking dice told me that i look
lost that's right that's
right i come here today you have a door person and he's and he's like oh man
let's relax he's excited
yeah he's excited to be the doorman he's the man he's he's like he like i came
in and you know how
a lot of door people in new york they sit they sit at the desk and they go
whatever yeah he jumped up
and he goes how can i help you sir he's the man you've changed look dude what
can i say i'm subletting
an insane rich man's apartment for six months i'm cosplaying being like a
wealthy captain of industry
we weren't supposed to be in these spaces not at all don't you feel but i told
you this you
you're six years younger than me i know where you are i was 30 and about to get
rich yeah and being
like it'll never happen to me no i'm a man i'm a i'm salt of the earth and you're
clinging hard to
it it's very hard it's important for you it's particularly your image to cling
hard to it you
know what i mean and don't get me wrong me too on some level from baltimore i
talk about inequality
is a big problem yeah listen i bought a new car i bought a rav4 yeah now was
that now was it a
55 000 it was the absolute highest rav4 possible fully loaded rav4 i want i
needed the cameras up
top so that i could uh you know parallel park with ease i've been a pedestrian
in new york for too long
i've lost i've lost my ability to just fucking i've lost friends i've lost it
all but and did did i
test drive every luxury suv and was too fat for the seats yes but no no i'm a
man of the people
but is what it is it allowed me to pivot back to being a man of the people i
was getting ready to
make that move you know we were we're about to reach out to the the trump
administration's press
secretary and say i know he's not running but could the big man squeeze us it
because good
the big man squeeze in stavi's world can stavi can stavi have him on the show
can stavi throw him
some softball questions that make it look like he has no point of view humanize
a piece of shit
yeah could i pretend a pedophile is not a pedophile so you don't think
immigrants are people what tell
me about that yeah and as an immigrant i agree yeah whatever it takes yeah no i
don't i hate what
what i'm seeing from you i saw you i'm going to be really really honest yeah go
ahead as your friend
when i saw you in the tuxedo on the carpet at can right i felt i felt sick okay
because i
bookmark this eldest when the uh devil wears prada 2 premiere comes out let's
just clip this exact
moment when he's got when he sees my emma stone and alicia silverstone and
raises me merrill
when he does that let's just go ahead and mark this moment down i'll just
please so unlikable
just just admit you know we both we hit the uh each generation there is a fat
straight and a fat gay
yeah they get to win this lottery and it happens to be us white division by the
way
each generation and it gets to be us and i need you to stop acting like that's
not what's happening to
you you know i i have nothing i have no defenses i have no defenses before we
started the episode
uh you took a bathroom break and i was texting a contractor for my house yeah
that's right being
like what do you mean you can't come over today yeah yeah yeah it's bad you
should be yeah i mean
we both i should be about to inherit my family's greek restaurant i should be a
36 year old man who
still takes orders from his elderly mother yeah you should be running you
should be running a michael's
in kansas city if even yeah it was looking like joanne's fabrics you should be
you should be giving
everybody a pep talk at joanne's fabrics hey guys let's care a little huh it's
spooky season
why does i don't look like shit
and we've escaped that man and we're both property owners in our hometowns and
property
renters in the better cities we fled to yeah i just don't like the way it looks
on you i
i think i'm doing it in a more humble approachable and then i show up to your
you've got the help
you've got the help guiding me through the building that's eldest crazy you're
talking about eldest
and he can't help that either no he's all this is the albanian lottery this is
being the help for
a greek but who happens to be in podcasting instead of in two generations ago
he would have
been tilling the fields he would have been at the olive groves personally
shaking down olive trees
i'm like chris sucker and friday i'd be like i'd be playing mind games with debo
he told me to
shut the up i do it but then he leaves i just start talking again i'll do i'll
shut the up
that's right that is right uh but no you know it's nice having it is it does
feel weird to have
nice things living in a building like this i do legitimately feel like every
day you feel like
you snuck in you know what i mean where it's like what i'm here yeah there are
certain people
when when i there are spaces i'm in that i legitimately legitimately am like no
one in
here should have to see me right i can't i can't believe these people and they
have to
like be they have to be kind of nice to me yeah yeah he's like very fancy
people you know right
right right they kind of have to be nice to me because i'm like paying the bill
of course that's
crazy it is it is crazy yeah i know i know i just and you see but then you get
into the thing i will
say when you get into like a rich zone yeah where it's like you're like oh
these people are stupid
yeah like nobody here deserves to be here you know what i mean like nobody ever
somebody's dad bought
the you know somebody's in fine there's a 20 there's any young persons in this
building 100 their
families rich you know what i mean and then the old people it's like they're
you either get very young
nepo style stuff or you have like old people that are so old that it's like
whatever you did to make
your money 70 years ago no chance it was chill some evil was done yeah evil
absolutely yeah we are the
the halls any rich space is a space of evil yeah i found a dnc um in the trash
here i found a dnc
uh uh like it was like an autographed like memorabilia from when they were
practicing
their speeches i have nancy pelosi's autograph in my kitchen right now yeah and
that's the kind
of building it is you're going through the trash my it's a trash room you go
down there you put
cardboard and stuff in and you see nancy pelosi's autograph gleaming at you it
honestly made me feel
better for a second to know that at least you're going through the trash here
dude there's good
trash in these buildings there is incredible trash in these buildings i when i
walked in to this building
i did i got to witness one of my favorite things which is a wealthy white woman
trying to be cool
right and she she was doing that thing that rich white ladies do to to um like
the doorman where
she was like she was like uh she was like oh my god how are we you know and and
he has to paint
on that like yes ma'am smile yeah yeah and i was just i was looking at him i
was like brother i'm so
sorry yeah and she was like okay i'm here to grab that thank you yeah you know
and it was like god
girl you could just be like hey how's it going totally totally but it's that
like high off hyping
yourself up for it yeah she's walking in like don't embarrass yourself in front
of a dominican
that's what she's saying to herself she's like be one of the good ones be one
of the good ones
it's humiliating and it's like condescending in a new way of course yeah of
course well don't get
me wrong the first two weeks i was here i got a lot of like like sideways looks
like what because i'm
tank topped up yeah i come here in the summer all right who's getting work done
on their unit right
yeah right right right right who's contract it's casual friday for this
contractor
the guy who's gonna unclog the grease traps in my fucking for my viking range i
guess he's going to
pilates afterward i guess we caught him in between somewhere in the buildings
having cement laid i don't
know why this guy is here but this is not looking good yeah absolutely but that
is nice i do like
lowering just kind of reminding people like you're not a fucking spell the trappings
of wealth are all
it's all fake i got in here any one of us could accidentally be like you
absolutely yeah i had
the first time i ever experienced this was i had a real insecurity that when i
was in college i went
to missouri state and i got this internship in new york that was like mostly ivy
league kids yeah and
they hired like five or ten state school and college community college kids
like as i think they like
had to sure as a joke as a joke as a dinner for schmucks scenario truly truly
dinner for schmucks
dinner for state school kids yeah yeah yeah and i was so nervous coming in
because i was like oh my god all
these kids look he's wearing his nice american eagle cardigan that's what he
thinks is dressing up
the way i had a nice american eagle cardigan he's wearing a he's wearing a uh a
shirt that
with the tie they came in a plastic box together they match it up for you so
you don't have to guess
he shops for his shirts at the end of the aisle at macy's he's wearing a turquoise
button down
with a black and turquoise checkered tie and a pocket square
all the same material all just cut out of different parts of the same material
of course
yes yes yes but i when i was so i was like oh my god all these kids go to ivy
leagues like they're
gonna be so smart i'm not kidding day one i talked to like five of them and i
had a different kind of
panic attack because i was like yeah oh everything i thought about the world is
wrong these people are
not smarter than me 100 they're not special they just wound up at this better
place yeah
and now i'm like scrapping scraping trying to get something that they get so
easily of course yeah
just because they got into this expensive school it's an afterthought for them
even yeah they're like
oh i guess i'll do the internship the thing you were trying so every desperate
you pulled every
every favor everything you could possibly do and they're just like should i go
to like tennis academy
in barcelona or should i or should i have this internship that some kid from kansas
city would
kill his family to get i would