Name: ep 337- The Invisible Man
Uploaded: 2021-03-03T22:27:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'ep 337- The Invisible Man' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'ep 337- The Invisible Man' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-03. Transcript available.

ep 337- The Invisible Man

wild wild west we are live wow here wow lamair's back dude at the big kids
table dude thank you
left the little kids thank you he's a saboteur i think lamair trashed the setup
before he left
he definitely yes he came in and helped fix our setup after we fired him for
production
yeah we needed some help someone else is getting fired i don't know i might
fire myself i might
quit i i might kill myself this shit's hard i might matt you do a great job on
those intro videos man
thank you bro yeah is what it is please come on those are good that's been
making oh man the
intro video is so good that's not me dude yeah yeah it is not me bro yeah lamair
is that a white power
ranger that's the yellow is that the yellow ranger no it's the black power ranger
with the dragon shield
armor did you need did you feel necessary to wear dragon shield before you came
here yeah i was at
the gym and this is how i like to work out like a power ranger yeah yeah i was
at the y i was yeah
yeah with old ladies i was hanging out with no it's good hell yeah my cousin
used to do that he used to
wear sweatsuits like depending on what range you wanted to be yeah pretty tight
he was the red ranger
a lot of red ranger was a hunk i was more of a green ranger guy tommy come on
man yeah he came in like
yeah tommy was the bad boy right i mean yeah yeah yeah trust me some may call
us that but yeah i was
more of a fan of the guy talking the head did you like i love that guy so i
just love the way he handled
his business true just like go get it done i'll tell you guys what to do yeah
yeah he was the fact
that he was just a head holding it down like that she didn't take no back talk
yeah what were the
villains after in power rangers what were they trying to were they trying to
end the world yeah
they were just trying to take over the world yeah and they won in the first
season they won yeah
really they beat the power i remember that and then the power rangers got new
powers that
yeah she's a rita repulsa rita repulsa that
fucking bitch what a what was her problem just wanted to take over the
world no she was trapped in a jar for 10 000 years they let her out
gordon was trapped in a plasma tube he's not being a wait was he out or
gordon was in a tube dude zordon zordon gordon he's a big canadian guy but wait
what was his did he
ever was he ever out of that tube or was he just to be out of the tube but then
like war happened and
the only way he could stay alive was to go into the tube because remember so
you know the the the
cannon dude i love the cannon dude i love the power ranger cannon so he was out
of the tube
pre-rangers or did he train the rangers then go back to the tube he never
actually trains anybody
he's just he's just like they're all-knowing guy he's like they're uh he's like
yoda kind of got
you we're like he just knows what's up and they're like oh i guess we got to do
what he says
wasn't he kind of like a fat-faced white guy yeah it was steve from jerry
spring it really it looked
like buzz from a fucking home alone yeah i wonder if it was the same actors i
think it was a it was
just like uh some big white guy did jordan ever fuck with rita like did they
have a past i think there
was some inner there was some intermingling but i don't think they had like a
relationship
but maybe gotcha maybe though was she the bad the super villain the whole time
i think zordon
smashed and rita was just like yeah i think zordon grabbed her face at a party
yes her bra size
i think zordon yeah might have grabbed face why else i can't believe dude did
you see q mo cuomo
whatever his name is brothers fucking sold him out no his brother sold him out
oh he was just kind
of like it's a conflict of interest basically he tried to be like hey man i got
nothing to do with
this it's like damn dude damn his brother was getting in trouble for like
touching the small of
women's backs that's what cuomo's in trouble for yeah bro he was at a well he
well there's a picture
though i think he like put hand he put a hand on the back of the lady was
wearing it's so nice putting
your hand on the small of a woman's back first of all that is i will say that
is sexual harass bareback
and she was wearing one of those dresses that like her whole back was shown oh
so it's like
a dress he couldn't keep his hands off that how could you if you felt like you
had the green light
to do that you would do it well here's the problem he also he again he was
going he thought he was
all above board he was going to young women and telling them he would go just
so you know i'm fully
open to having relationships with women in their 20s which i didn't know you
had to say out loud
because i thought that was assumed every fucking powerful man was doing that
but yeah he was going
around like touching the small of women's backs and being like i fuck you guys
in case you're
wondering that if you're young and hot i will fuck you and then he at one point
seems like that's
he grabbed a lady's he like the lady was like yo man get off my back and he was
like i thought you
were being kind of aggressive i'm being honest and then he grabbed her face
according to oh he face
grab gave a double face grab and i think was like kiss me and she's like no oh
no dude
the face grab is insane picture of the face crab but then people are saying
someone someone was there
with a camera i think might have been a setup bro someone's like yo grab that
chick's face she wants
to fuck you it's also this is the problem too i i was just i was just talking
to my boy about this
which again i was so happy i went to his house because he filled i didn't know
any of this was going on
he filled me in on the he's been in his house following it watching fox dude he
actually i
didn't know trump came back and gave a speech i did he's like he's like bro he's
like i'm not
gonna lie i had to put on all my trump gear i was fired up he got pumped up on
it he said trump came
was like did you miss me that was his first word yeah i watched it so he was
telling me about that
and he was like bro i'm sick over what they're doing at cuomo he's like because
then we have big
pictures of joe biden like doing the same thing to kids constantly grabbing
their faces and
shit no one was saying anything about that so you know whatever but yeah dude
his brother went like
that's complicated for me not being like i would have been like free my brother
dude right my brother
was getting too much and he grabbed face that's the other thing too you grabbed
face dude he dude you're
the governor of new york this is so crazy it's smaller back i understand but
every single man knows
what you're doing yes oh that's why everyone was like yo if you saw someone
with your bay and their
hand on the smaller back you'd have to karate chop their arm just to save face
otherwise yes you've been
disrespected that's that you are being disrespected but this guy dude that was
a uh that was one of
those old safety like i can talk yeah like can we yeah because that's people
will do that like here
you go i mean i think the safe zone if you find a woman crossing the street if
a woman's in an
intersection you can touch her anywhere you want because you can be like i'm
just trying to get
you to safety man yeah i'll get your butt you while you watch the small of that
yeah i guess i guess
kind of the rule bear back too don't do anything you wouldn't do to your mother
smaller back in a
sweater oh it never small the back my mom yeah but i'll i'll kiss upon greeting
my mom so i think
yeah but you can do the cheek thing you can be like i'm actually into i'm i'm
real sophisticated
true yeah i guess but i guess you have to like you have to like be like outwardly
refined enough to
like kiss upon green yeah you can't be wearing a sweatsuit yeah you can't be
wearing like a
fucking carhartt overalls and just be like how you doing you should do that
like next time you if
you go to a construction site do that unless you're italian if you're italian
you can wear
a wife beater and a chain and just kiss your mom however you want true yeah
they i yeah no mouth
kiss no mouth kiss if you're italian you kiss your mom on the mouth they're
coming in throwing shots
at gardini shots at the wop
how's it feel you feel like you've been freed from your your prison sentence no
i that hell that
was producing this show it wasn't hell i felt i felt bad at first because i up
and i was like ah
but then when uh you guys like you got sean i was like oh he's such a that's a
better pick like he's
gonna do such a good job and then he made that video the the r.i.p video and i
was like oh he's
already a hundred times better yeah yeah yeah i don't know you came in today
just emergency tech you know
yeah it's good it's good to know you live very close by it's nice to be here in
five minutes
yeah yeah yeah yeah this was the most on time for a show you've ever been i
will say people were
fucking crying people were like people were grieving you they're like it's
fucked up first of all
you know a bit of a case of crybabyism when you give one thing oh i don't like
that take it away
what do you put it back yeah yeah it's like shut up but the um they had to feel
good having the the
outreach the support it felt nice yes i felt careful yeah thank you do you do
you like do you show up to
the raven now like i have so many fans to all the other open not the other part
of me the open micers
down there are you like yeah yeah yeah now do you go to the raven with just
like a cloak over your hood
and then stand in the back don't worry i'm here no i just you know i just sit
there and drink for free
that's the only way to do the raven it's kind of the only thing you really got
to do yeah all else
fails you pretty much get free drinks and stand up which is your legacy host i'm
like can i go get
drinks there for free can do yeah yes start blacking out every thursday if you
started going there and
secretly just getting bombed i'd be so happy that would be a tight double life
yeah if you had a double life
and then like came to me like like eventually the wheels just flew off and you're
like i've been a
drunk this whole time i thought about that before if i like wildly if i held
down like a very quiet like
drug opiate addiction because i have promethazine from like a way leftover like
coffee you used to
sip that i said i said that promethazine i might dude i might fuck around and
sit me a fucking eight
i told you my friend drank an eight basically i think it's a half a point or a
point is like eight
ounces of syrup my friend drank a whole he was holding my syrup bro i bought a
bunch of it i was
i thought it was going to be the juice man yeah and he uh my friend was holding
at the spot and he
drank it all and he drove into a hill he crashed into the hill right out front
of my parents house
i'm like how'd you crash in front of the hill and i'm like where's my syrup and
he's like i drank it bro
fuck wait did he drink it before he left yeah he just drank all my scissors
straight dude syrup is
a crazy thing it doesn't really do much to you if you just drink really yeah it's
expensive as
fuck and you drink like i think it's like 30 bucks for an ounce and you drink
it and it's like if you
take pills with it it fucks you up you have to drink a lot of it and then you're
just like you could
just you know what you just get tired yeah you get chopped and screwed yeah i
knew i knew the chopped and
screwed part but you get chopped so you just if you drank like if you poured if
you put up a four
a foe you'd be kind of chopped and screwed but like if you just sit my friends
i just need paul wall
i just need the people's champ i'd be like yo play paul wall just watching paul
wall youtube videos
the problem is is when you buy syrup people cut it with caro syrup so then if
you're if you're buying
syrup you got to twist the cap because if the cap's crusted that means someone
cut you with caro and
then you got like that xx you get sugar on the t