Name: Ep 350 - Champagne and Mushrooms (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Uploaded: 2021-06-03T04:46:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 350 - Champagne and Mushrooms (feat. Chris O'Connor)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 350 - Champagne and Mushrooms (feat. Chris O'Connor)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-03. Transcript available.

Ep 350 - Champagne and Mushrooms (feat. Chris O'Connor)

wild wild west dude cardini is bruce springsteen man i was talking to me and noah
talking on the
way up yeah we picked him up he's he's in a bruce springsteen town yeah yeah i
saw that town absolute
bruce springsteen i played dancing in the dark as soon as i picked him up play
as soon as he stepped
in i picked him up and i played some t-pain true that's what i played for him
where have you been
fishing fishing in the creek he's giving him hell dude i've seen the fishing
hole he's trying to get
on rogan that's what he's doing yeah he's like i'm a bit of a sportsman myself
i'm a bit of a
sportsman myself mr rogan hey joe i'm a bit of a sportsman yeah there's a you
know how they like
take old factories you know they take old factories now and they uh make them
into apartment things and
like the whole allure is like this used to be a chocolate factory yeah there's
one near him that
was a snuff factory and he was telling me it's where all the divorced dads go
so when they get divorced
a snuff factory yeah they used to make snuff or process tobacco into snuff oh
okay so it's just a
bunch of guys like powdery tobacco haze grinding dried tobacco into powder and
there's that's where
all the divorced dads go live in the snuff factory it is bruce springsteen town
in north jersey and
there's a park behind that where he fishes where it's just dads on visitation
just every dad whenever
you're out there fishing they must stare out their windows on that side of the
building and watch
yeah you got a lord that reminds me that reminds me of my boy that i lost that's
probably how old my
boy is right now look at him do you have a microphone so you think you should
be talking
we do keep asking him questions but yeah cardinia uh he goes and fishes and one
of the uh one of the
estranged dads gave him a lure try to gift him a lord really yeah i was gonna
ask him a question
we'll have we'll have to deck this room out give him producers i'm like we
could probably make this
right mm-hmm yeah i could have gotten another mic they asked me how many mics
we use true but
we need three of the same last time it was hell and post trying to fix that one
really except for
mike aria was so loud really i had to drop him down about 13 decibels yeah pick
you up two dbs
thank you you gotta really munch these things dude yeah but yeah whatever we
won't talk about post
edit but i was about to go into like 10 more minutes it's actually pretty cool
it's track by
track but no nobody cares dude what the up no i care it is fresh it is
frustrating editing editing
sound trying to get noise out of it heard it yeah somebody these guys don't
want to hear about that
dude especially after the weekend dude oh okay are you ticked do you want to
talk about i'm no nothing's
wrong you got a bug in your craw just go it's just one of those days dude you're
dead you don't want to
wake up don't you do all right you want to wake up i didn't i am terse i'm mad
pissed off i'm not sure why your ass is chapped um something's wrong consider i'll
get to it
chapped dude i'll get there i'm telling you man i have i don't think anything
can ever bother me
ever again after the weekend we had that was the it was insane it was fun yeah
it was great one of
the funnest times in my life when i try to explain it to people they're like
that's that's that's how
you have fun yeah yeah man that was exactly that was fun yeah what happened i
heard that i heard
the whole weekend oh my god dude so exploded yeah stop me if i miss anything
but it was like we went
to uh we did the battlefield thing that was so sick that we're working on that
right now that should
be out on patreon but the uh so we went we toured a battlefield all day long
none of us really ate
anything all that we had stopped at roadside quote unquote barbecue but it was
just hot roast beef
that i think they like put liquid smoke in yeah it was just lunch meat this is
a you want some of that
pit meat and it was like this is nick's hot roast beef this is lunch yeah it
was lunch meat that just
somehow tasted smoky what a sweet lady though she was she was an angel she was
a sweetheart
absolutely there's there's nothing but angels down there yeah like just sweet
40 year old ladies who
just like just took care of us that lady gave gardenia free soda she minded my
gluten allergy wow
wow yes although i will say that gluten allergy i'm sad that might be what i'm
mad at you mad at my
gluten allergy conversation that lasted four minutes true true we we're
starting at celiacs
so we're already running late for the show and then we're standing there plenty
of time i went to like
nine electronic stores before for what dude the tech was a set up the tech was
a oh for the tech was a
question mark what time did you arrive at the show like 10 minutes before we
were cutting it close we
had no time for it it's just a bag full of cashier to explain her gluten
allergy for
five minutes her son had a celiac i don't care who it was i hope he passes from
it
what was wrong so what was the problem so i was ordering i'm like can i just
get just the beef and
she's like you have a gluten allergy and i was like chill lady i want anyone to
know so like she was
like my son has celiacs on my head i'm like all right whatever she did talk it
was enough like i
can talk gluten all day yes and even i watched matt run into another yeah
gluten allergy enthusiast even
i was like all right enough what's the difference between everyone hates us
dude we're like early
christians dude everyone wants to snub us out celiac is more severe everyone
wants to bring i would
talk to you to the lines oh yeah yes if i came to you i was like i think i had
a cross contamination
you'd be like get the get in and i had to fight my way out that's probably what
happened to all those
guys yeah you're like just fall out their way yeah dude he was like uh did
someone do chicken fingers
in that fryer was that dedicated for french fries and they're like what the ah
what are your symptoms
they're very vague but they're real oh yeah the uh this lady talked about this
lady talked about gluten
you know the symptoms of gluten allergy can be experienced uh neurologically
you start to affect
your brain really how that's why i'm such a wacky kid a few many pb and j's
dude i have brain sandwiches
now you're retarded i used to watch your crust now i have brain damage start to
think you have celiacs
yeah yeah but yeah so the lady talked about her son like she went through the
full like the panels
she's like well first we thought it was nightshade vegetables yeah and this was
after she's like why
don't you take a minute to look at the menu and she walked away she walked away
so then we're
standing there and we're both like everybody's just like all right i'll get a
sandwich yeah ring a bell
we buzzed her again she comes back and just hit us with like her son's like
digestive history and then
how they finally narrowed down that he was allergic to everything actually and
then he was okay and
then she was like what can i get you guys it was it was a long conversation oh
yeah and then she
proceeded they narrowed down that he's allergic to everything yeah basically he's
basically allergic to
everything so it's just grass he's just grazed he's not made for this world
no dude but yeah then she gave us uh our stuff and it was yeah it was it was
lunch meat that had
been boiled with a little bit of liquid smoke up in the mix i think these guys
sean gardini had
uh this was it was all weekend dude so then on the way there on the way to the
battlefield yeah we
stop at dunkin donuts sean sean gets a bagel what cream cheese that's fine i'm
not although yeah i
like that i like that i like that energy i do like that energy i'm sorry i
stopped you from being
outraged i fasted i just bought batteries i went and bought batteries at the
local grocery store while
they ate uh and then i finished my sandwich and i said all right let's go do
you have sauces i can
sean immediately crumbled up his bagel in a pure panic he still had half his
bagel left he just he was
like oh we have to go yeah and just destroyed his own sandwich i think he was
done he was done he was
full sean gets stuffed like very easily i'd like to stuff him you had sausage
egg and cheese right
are you uh your bacon you strike me as a sausage egg and cheese guy i do like
sausage egg and cheese
which what did you have that day i don't recall i almost i think bacon bacon i
think i had a bacon
egg and cheese croissant that's nice see that's where you go look that's the
only thing besides a donut a
dunkin donuts that i will allow a croissant sandwich yeah it's decadent yeah
yeah it's good it's good
and it's smashed down a little bit yeah true it's always smashed because duncan
has some of
the worst food it's crazy how bad the food is when you see them make it it's
disturbing i've never
had indigestion like i do if you get a breakfast sandwich from duncan it just
ruins your day but
it's kind of like mcdonald's in the way that it the way that it tastes bad is
good is so good
tony it's like it's like spongebob when mr crab uses filler for the crappy paddies
they just don't
they they're disgusting the i didn't see that episode no i mean either but no
it's all we talked
about on the way up nice did you watch a lot of spongebob no my niece watches
it so i catch it every
time in my parents house it's so good yeah really spongebob's hilarious i've
seen a few episodes and
they have been pretty entertaining i'll be honest yeah spongebob's it's it's
good watching yeah so yeah
gardini has it gardini's full shane doesn't know this about it gardini has a
bird belly
shane doesn't know that shane's like all right let's roll and gardini just mashes
this yeah i was
like what was trash compactor i've never seen panic like this freaking out he
was just excited to be
able to wrap that thing up because you don't want to eat half a bagel in front
of your bros and like
the dude yeah bros are always making sure we don't waste yes so he was like
looking for an excuse to
crunch that thing like let's roll and he just went smashed backseat the backseat
tried to hide their
lack of eating food at the last one kill that i think they see he's acting up
well
it'll probably take a while to turn off you know yeah the uh that's all right
all right kill it
kill it um yeah so yeah the whole weekend was so we went to the civil war
battlefield before we go to
the civil war battlefield gardini wastes half a bagel and we were like me and
shane were like what
the dude have some respect for the civil war soldiers dude who were like not
eating for weeks
to fight for you to not have slavery dude imagine if we still had slavery how
brutal everything
would be right now we'd be even more divided right now sean and people starved
to death
and died they got shot in the face so that you didn't have slavery right now
and have to you know
get even pestered even harder online so anyways a bagel so we're giving them
hell dude we go to
the battlefield it was just it was goddamn dude it was like something it was
crazy the battlefield was
sick on the way home we get the sandwiches hear about the gluten allergy and
then
gardini and fucking nate eat like each eat like a quarter of their sandwich it's
unbelievable stuffed
them back in the bag tried to hide it yeah they tried to hide it who's in hard
the night before no
it was oh you guys were hung over yeah sean and nate were getting they got
turned oh yeah mate was
drinking like whiskey on the rocks yeah yeah yeah sean and nate got fucking oh
you guys were turning
up before this all credit to sean so they had an open mic and sean gets on and
does the open mic and
there's a dude that's just clearly on cocaine yeah like clearly he came and me
and sean were sitting
outside he came and sat like on sean and was like check this video out and it
was like a drake mashup
with like empire of the sun in fact i remember exactly what it was and then i
was like y