Name: Ep 352 - What's his name? (feat. Joe Derosa)
Uploaded: 2021-06-16T13:39:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 352 - What's his name? (feat. Joe Derosa)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 352 - What's his name? (feat. Joe Derosa)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-16. Transcript available.

Ep 352 - What's his name? (feat. Joe Derosa)

wow wow wes all right we're in dude we're going right now yeah i think we're i
think we're going
wow it's about time yeah yeah we ran into one technical laugh dude derosa evil
dude derosa
turns it on dude true as soon as that red light comes on derosa is the life of
the party twisted
joker dude that was a joker laugh that was dude you twisted bro man that is
scary that is i can
imagine hearing that at arkham asylum do you love bed in the back bedlam yeah
mayhem in bedlam i'm
rotten is oklahoma oklahoma state your favorite college football rivalry i don't
know why would
they do because it's the bedlam brawl you're in the roast chair now thanks for
coming
my friend told me the other day he told me the other day like honestly he was
he was we were
talking about some couple and i go name them now and i go what happened and he
goes you know why
they break up and he goes he cheated on her i just started laughing you're
twisted and i go what's
wrong with you why am i laughing and he goes you need help there's something
you need help that's
because you're sick as hell what were the circumstances i didn't even get that
i just
how old are they uh like in their 20s oh come on i found out some funny the
older people get the
funnier it is well yeah that's what just happened really some yes an older
couple i'm close with
the husband got caught cheating and i in my everybody was devastated and i was
like dude he rules
yeah how old is he uh 70. yeah how young was that cheat though yeah boy was it
a pro or an amateur
true pro doesn't make it cool if it was an amateur joe harari's texting me yes
it'll respond yeah hookers
aren't cheating anyway though but true yeah hookers i've heard that i haven't
but i like i wouldn't
respect a hooker cheat like if this dude yeah pulled off like some 22 year old
waitress would
be like this guy is swinging yeah yeah yeah yeah living a double life yeah yeah
i mean you should
by the time you're set if you're set if you're 70 you should start definitely
flagrantly cheating on
your wife if you're that old it's time you made it that far it's time but you
have to do it in secret
you can't like tell you have to just like totally rock your wife's world before
you die
do you think you'll be married for that long yeah i'm married right now bro no
i know i dude it's
funny you asked that i uh last night i was like i asked a question no i was you're
asking if he's
planning a divorce no no i'm saying do you think your marriage will go the
distance it's a fair
question dude because we're sitting there out last night i was laying there and
all of a sudden
it like so you know you get married like i'm not married but it fully dawned on
me like we're gonna
die together and i was like woke up i was like you might not oh not like at the
same time but i'm
like she might cheat on you and leave you i wouldn't leave her if she cheated
on me really hell no dude
i guess after a while you don't care dude i'd fight her i wouldn't be here i
think i think after
10 years i'd be like i don't give a shit to be honest yeah you get a point i
mean i'd be pissed
i'd be ticked for sure you would put hands on her i mean you just reduce that
so much you go you go ahead
leave her then you said i beat her you said i'd be pissed then you go i'd be
ticked i'd be ticked
thank you that's nothing dude you get to the point when you're in a long
committed relationship
there's so much like passive aggression like power struggles yeah and it's hard
not to twist that into
your advantage like yeah remember that one time you cheated on it's like yeah
do you guys get along
pretty well yeah that's good pretty well that's what it's all about we fought
in the pit we got all
our fights out early so yeah you sure yeah we chill we got them all out we
bought heads i bet you still
got a couple in the tank yeah what the fuck i mean you gotta you're supposed to
nobody gets them all
out dude the stat true the stat is out of every i think six encounters you're
supposed to have one
negative i got you otherwise the relationship tank you know what bit i wish i
would have done what do
it do it do it when you go i'm married now i should have gone what's his name
yeah i was i was like that
bit i resisted every that's his name every single time someone's i'm going on a
date i'm like what's
his name where'd you meet him it's so it's the it never is not funny to me it
crushes yeah yeah
insinuating homosexuality on the other part let's not get us canceled over it
but yeah yeah don't
don't break it down too much let's keep it as a life farts it's farts and then
being like that guy's gay
yeah joe who gave you that hat your boyfriend yeah true yeah what was his name
frankie
speak of the devil dude he's got him on the brain dude yeah francis might be
coming down there was
like something very sexual there's a tension between i don't know if it was
sexual or not
but the tension between you guys was crazy he got mad when i said he got i'm
not mad but he got a
little like he thought i was attacking him personally yeah and i was just
making a children of the corn
reference where i said did you murder your elders and he goes and he goes this
guy said i killed my
parents i was like dude i'm making a children of the corn joke you look like
the kid from children
of the corners i didn't appreciate that was pretty funny i appreciate it
probably dude he definitely
would what do you mean probably for shit i of course this is jack francis would
wail on you
he doesn't drink or anything dude he does barely dude true not like you barely
oh he talked to you
the other night dude i was who's the redhead kid uh francis no no no it's on
your mind the comedian
the stand-up kid francis nathan mcintosh oh i was at the cellar with him and he's
like he goes what
are you doing i go i'm done for the night and i go what are you doing he goes i'm
done for the night
too and i go well dude let's get a drink and go sit outside and he's like i'll
have a tea and i just
was like i gotta go dude i'll have a tea i was like i gotta go alcohol nice kid
but i mean a tea yeah
it was like 11 p.m tea time come on it's time to increase his tea yeah it might
have been herbal tea
you should get some tea some testosterone yeah then you'll be slamming them at
11 p.m what do you
think about wine i love wine nice i fucking love wine oh yeah yeah it's funny
because some guys would
call you gay for drink i get called gay for drinking wine i drink wine all the
time but i drink also you
know tequila and just to keep it like other shit i love wine with wine with
food is there's nothing better
man different wines with different meals is martinis with dinner are you a foodie
uh yeah i guess so
i mean i have a food podcast and i have a sandwich thing so yeah yeah yeah kind
of let's see but i'm
not like a you're a foodie i'm not like a snotty foodie you know foodie no it
comes to the dead you
have a food podcast and you own a restaurant you're a foodie yeah yeah that's
not bad i guess so i mean
it's a sandwich shop yeah yeah well no i think it's a pop-up i think people are
like i drive three
hours to try this like yeah there's nothing wrong with being a foodie joe yeah
now would you drink
do you drink wine when you're out on dates sometimes yeah what's his name
you're getting roasted joe the roasted i brought that joke up you didn't bring
it up i brought it
up rewind the tape he turned the gun around on you dude turned it on grab the
gun and it's funny man
i'm laughing still even though it's at me it's still funny now dude we need to
get you a couple more
beers no you're not taking this shit to do normally if you'd make any slight
joke at joe he's coming at
you for the rest the rest of the show huh i think that's been set up though
yeah i think the dynamics
been created i'm laying in the pocket dude yeah i know it's coming it's coming
the children of the
corn was fantastic yeah murdering a reference i didn't even know the reference
and i just was like
that's oddly specific and very funny i saw him the other night murdered the
elders yeah and he was
saying uh but i was asking him i go you don't drink dude and he goes i'll have
a beer or two yeah you
know he's a moderate drinker but i was like yeah that's not drinking dude i'm a
moderate drink i
love having one or two beers i'm addicted to like two beers two it's awesome
two beers go home you
relax take a hot bath shit dog i get after it man you still drink hard fuck
yeah sick yeah i drink hard
where how many beers did you drink yes just like this is it this is just what i'm
doing for the rest of
my life yeah you're just you're making a choice it's good to make your mind up
and be like uh
yesterday i didn't drink at all i took yesterday and sunday off and i probably
won't drink today
i'll probably just have this one beer because we're doing this and then i got
to go do my buddy's
podcast but he doesn't drink so i won't drink anymore and i'll go home and cook
a nice meal
nice yeah i got a pork loin defrosting i'm gonna make some pork tacos yes foodie
dude foodie foodie
i've always wanted to be able to drink like a beer but i always just get like
crabby 40 minutes if i like drink one beer and stop in the middle of the day i
just get like
two and you're fine with dinner and i go to bed take a hot bath okay beer with
food is good
i like beer with wings hot wings yeah maybe fried chicken beer goes nice i'll
tell you what's a great
chug it pairing of alcohol and food oysters and martinis really oh yeah yeah
damn dude i did
that on a date recently and it was righteous oh it's his name i'm still here
baby i'm just laying in
the cut you guys go ahead so what how'd the day go pretty cool dude oysters
martinis yeah oysters too
calm dude wash it down with a bottle that's actually oysters and come she'll
see how she
what are the ones that's like an aphrodisiac that's uh oysters oh it is oysters
yeah but you
give dry martini dirty with olives of course some oysters uh that's a great was
she pretty horny but
like did you like gauge her horniness throughout after the oysters who are you
dating uh her
squirted in my eye halfway through the meal so i guess so yeah who are you
dating i didn't say
anybody i just said i was on a date yeah my business keep my business out of
the streets
bitch don't give whoa whoa what the fuck what the fuck happened would you ever
date a comic i have
how'd it go not good right what was his name
where's he performing you gotta call this episode what what don't worry about
podcast
this is an amateur hour we will get the titles uh yeah i did it comics how'd it
go um
fair to midland it was okay it was never tragic or anything it just was kind of
like
it didn't work out and we remained friends and that was kind of that it's gotta
be an awkward diet
like what if he was funnier than you you know i'm telling you i mean yeah
exactly that would kill
me though dating a girl and she's just like you know she's murdering doing her
thing and you're just
like i always dated it was always kind of moderately even it wasn't like you're
saying they weren't that
funny you were dating female comics that were tied with you it was there was
never a big disparity
between where we were at in the business well who was funnier who was who was
funny oh no they
were funny too you can't do something you don't think it's not funny yes you
could i can't i could
yeah he just married girl yeah every girl i've ever dated is about as funny as
it you know but not
if they're a comic who's not funny that's different yeah yeah if they're a
comic you can't you can't
that when they're not funny that's what i mean because you guys were just as
funny as you don't
have you guys you were equally as funny as a girl coming yeah yeah yeah that's
what i would say yeah
i say that about you all the time yeah when i tried my absolute hardest people
ask me i
say joe reminds me he's pretty much on par with most female yeah yeah she's
titties
they're hilarious stop stop stop don't demean y