Name: Ep 362 - McCusker Fambly Podcast
Uploaded: 2021-09-08T20:16:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 362 - McCusker Fambly Podcast' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 362 - McCusker Fambly Podcast' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-08. Transcript available.

Ep 362 - McCusker Fambly Podcast

wow wow wes yo uh sup you bitches what's up that's king of your boys the guy
who would greet all
your boys make what's up i told you guys in a car accident i told you the other
day i went into wawa
and like i always thought of myself as a pretty sexual entity in general you
really do the one
thing that's bizarre about you is that you will have interactions with women
that are just totally
normal yeah just you're just talking to another being and you're like you'll
turn it you'll spin
it into a sexual thing oh that's all right that's how i get by i know i'm just
saying it's not like
i know it's not see i know i know it's not what's that your dream crusher i'm
not a dream no no i will
i'm real i'm based bro like it's just a game of your sexual entity i'm saying
well anyway i thought
i was a sexual i wish i had an ounce of that dude the other day you're pretty i
go into wawa right
yeah i'm in there in the morning that's where you go to unleash my sexuality
just getting some bean
getting the soft pretzels that i had to give up because they're absolutely they're
not good dude
they're trash while soft pretzels i thought you were like they're the best i
never said that in
my i could have sworn you were like dude while i saw pretzels i'm not gonna
turn this into like a
i'm not i'm not i'm not you're trying to do a review right now like this is a
delco brother food
no i'm just i'm just saying i've always said they were trash were you munching
them i said that they're
they're i forget i was like comes out they're whatever i said they're good if
like you need to
shut your kid up and throw something in his mouth anyway i'm in wawa thinking i'm
a sexual entity it's
not a good or bad thing or black it's just it it is what it is it's good versus
bad good people do
video anyway we can pause i'm in wawa it's the worst thinking i was a sexual
entity all this time andrew
said you know he knows yeah this guy rolls in to enter his shift greets his
whole crew
double shocker like 30 second tongue out damn so they're like hey sean
tongue ring thumbs moving and his tongue out tongue ring i mean the the girl
equivalent of of that would
crack me the up like some chick coming in be like double blowjob wait did he
have a tongue ring or no
nah he kind of had like a takashi 69 thing going on but without the face tats
there was a while
really so he was like like like a clean riffraff yeah there's guys that's our
life ender he was in
the kink community then he was definitely in the kink community there was a
while that whole i was
reading why this was 6 a.m the wawa on uh 322. oh never mind the 202 wawa had a
squad that was like
just absolutely it was mostly like it was mostly now there's a kid who works
with me at pat's pizzeria
and they try to cook mushrooms on pizza then they all wound up working at wawa
swag and then went
to wait they ate like mushroom pizza they tried yes philosophy yes cubences
like you know if
it was cubences or which one was it just mushrooms man wait these guys worked
with you and then they
went over to wawa one the fat dude worked with me at pat's pizzeria but then
his whole squad was
over there like screaming numbers at wawa being funny this is back when like
they had like
regular chicken colored sandwiches on kaiser rolls yeah it's back before a
while i went corporate you
could like let your freak flag fly there yeah well i guess this guy's still
being kind of like a
pervert yeah a little bit i mean dude but it was just a general sexual greeting
to his whole it's just
he was a section i'm not a sexuality i thought i was no you i was talking about
that the other day like
you'd be a more you could give out i had a girlfriend i had a girlfriend that i
was going out
with for like a almost two years and she was like you're not sexy what there's
no we're not yeah she was
like no you're not she was like she left yeah she was like she was like i joke
about she was telling
a story about in high school there was this dude that was really sexy and i was
just like saying
so evil that's bullshit i don't know i don't know i'm talking about they're
evil she was not i'm
talking about being into sex culture like being a person like ripping into like
like going to swinger
clubs and like being into swings and cheetah print undies and that's a whole
nother that's what a
sexual entity yeah matt's a sexual entity i've been i've been blocking myself
there was a rumor
at work that savage had a cheetah print thong that he would put it on to turn
add on or to turn claire
it's probably true you mean his wife bro i'm doxing everybody here but uh he
was trying to turn his
wife on and i was like cracking up thinking about this because i i totally
believed it so he was a sexy
beast and he had like a cheetah thong it was all an inside joke on me oh i
walked around like being
quiet being like jesus christ because he is i'm picturing that you know i just
can't help it that's
the way my mind works he's got big balls he's got a grapefruit for what's his
meat setup i don't know
what his meat setup is but i we were climbing scaffold one day and he had khaki
shorts on and i saw his
tighty whities and i was like i i yelled down to grieco's we were at the uh
steeple at saint thotts
yeah and i'm like at the very top of the steeple right on our side we're like
grieco the size of
this motherfucker's balls dude got so jammed he was pissed oh you said people
with big balls don't
like it it's an irish thing it might be an irish like both of my grandparents
came from ireland and
i have huge balls it might be i got stan i got a standard sack yeah i got a
standard my unit's very
standard like you could swap my dick out for someone else's that's about the
same one time hit us with a
post-workout dick pic was the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life it was
hanging it was like
bart simpson hey not small though it's not i've never had someone tell me it's
small that's actually
a powerful move i've never had someone complain about it but it's kind of the
perfect indifference
is it would be dick to say something what it would just be weird because it's
not bad it'd be like a
if i had like if i pulled up to pick you up on a first date in like a brand new
hyundai santa fe yeah
probably has a job but they're not gonna be like yo dude had a santa fe yeah
yeah dude scoop
me just like dude just plays like car commercial music like when girls would go
out and do like
their corny post date they'd be like how is his dick they'd probably just like
order another mimosa
and like skirt around the question yeah it's like not gonna trash the guy no
they're like sorry they're
demons dude don't get it they are no watch thin red line thin red line the guys
at war these boys are
guadalcanal they're fighting for us yeah and this dude gets a note saying i
need you to approve a
divorce i fell in love with someone else i couldn't wait i couldn't do it yeah
they're on a clock dude
dude i've done the whole war i just did the whole world war ii not a big deal
and then he got dumped
yeah and he got dumped yeah yeah damn you know what i mean they have they can't
do it they can't handle
the grit also though imagine getting that news and you got the gun you start
being oh big time
it's nuts it has to jump on me dude yeah that would suck i would charge the
enemy immediately
there's way too much i would just stay over in like wherever the i was
true point a lot of dudes did that that's kind of the premise of the movie
really i gotta watch that
movie i like all of his other movies does he get cauliflower dong uh i don't
remember i used to work
in labor who was in vietnam and he was like oh my dick looks like cauliflower
that was war war ii
wasn't that was my bad still i mean who's in that movie everyone literally
everyone i gotta watch
it it's called thin red line never saw that it's very interesting right yep you
ever see the movie
it's like the most human world war ii documentary what was the movie made where
like the couple they had
to like sneak onto a farm and pretend they were brother sister but they're
really married
it's a good movie i can't remember yeah thin red lines like hot it's hot it's a
look at world war
ii through like boots on the ground this is what it's like when you're with
your bros i gotta watch
you know each interaction is pretty much like yeah this is just human to human
when's the last time
you watched apocalypse now oh i haven't watched that i just rewatch it i
watched it one like might be one
of the best movies ever made oh yeah definitely that star started as well as
stars oh by the way
too this is good this is legal usi you might have saw someone take a rip of
that that's totally legal
totally usi it's a blend of blue lotus amanita amanita muscaria totally legal
mushroom and passion
flower yeah totally just totally legal social lubricant highly recommended five
star one hit review
tom's arrow in oh you're real into legal usis dude i'm telling you man i just
gotta get the list of
where salvia is legal true because it got delaware delaware got a hard bang
because that guy
that fucking kid ruined it for everybody no that kid god bless him he had
problems he's dead he
he sailed on early took his own life his mother his mom tried to demonize a
plant
i'm not going to get into what happened yeah don't get political don't get
political the
guy killed himself sailed on a little early because the waters were too choppy
for him
the water's choppy the water's choppy especially at that age it only gets more
confusing he had
journals where he talked about smoking salvia and smoking the salvia he was
getting relief
from the depression but but then he killed himself but he just happened to kill
himself and he
happened to smoke salvia yeah there are two things he did i did one of these
things i didn't do the other i'm
still a lot don't trail but like the mom kind of went on a tear and like tried
to make it about the
salvia spade was just listening to a wild ass podcast about uh delaware what
were they talking about
michael juan higher side chats what were they talking about you know just a hub
for greece
they're just setting up a hunger games human hunting they're gonna start
hunting us what in delaware
hunter biden bo biden bo you do the math yeah i could i could see dude the duponts
are weirdos
they are yeah they're bizarre you guys might be protected from your lineage
that's true
like we worked there we yeah we served oh yeah your aunt our ancestors that you
fucking defiled trashed in the other one that was a joke okay take it back i
take it back obviously you'll
you will pay for that comment not now not tomorrow but true especially you as a
as a as a budding
psychonaut as a budding psychonaut and telepathic individual yeah true man
sometimes you guys all
lucid dream too yes which is a powerful thing pretty tight so you get sleep
paralysis what you get
sleep i get sleep paralysis if i with my sleep schedule yes and i never do that
yeah you get it
i always go to sleep at like i don't i don't have like prophetic i don't i have
like prophecies in my
dreams i just have like weird wild ass dreams like i was i had a lot of
cannabis though that's your
problem yeah i saw i i've actually been on i've been in a period where i haven't
been doing it at all
when's the last time you smoked at the beach yeah pretty heavily i smoked that
that's weed pen not
you dude i hate that sweet pen twice if you if you came to me and you're like
yo spade that was acid
i'd be like it is isn't it yeah well that was so strong so strong it was dude
if it was one i'd hate
one-to-one weed dude it me up more than weed because it puts me into like a not
that i use cannabis at all
because once i gave it what i have in the past you've experimented with it i've
experimented before
i had a safe sensitive job i smoked cannabis and the one-to-ones they they put
me into like a
loop of like like i feel like i'm you know what makes me feel like you know
when you take a nap
and you nap 