Name: Ep 364 - Storming the Snackital (feat. Mike Rainey & Jon DelCollo)
Uploaded: 2021-09-22T18:29:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 364 - Storming the Snackital (feat. Mike Rainey & Jon DelCollo)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 364 - Storming the Snackital (feat. Mike Rainey & Jon DelCollo)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-22. Transcript available.

Ep 364 - Storming the Snackital (feat. Mike Rainey & Jon DelCollo)

the wild wild west hell yeah we're live and rolling hell what's up guys what's
up dudes
what's up michael rainey john docalo thank you for having us man yeah thanks a
lot
fucking my goddamn pleasure dude dude we can't get enough of each other lately
john yeah dude you
guys are getting back in little rascals bro yeah dude i should fucking rules
what's so hit the idea
for the people all right so little stinkers is basically like little stinkers i
like little
rascals better so it might change it so from now on i'm a fucking idiot guys
basically what little
rascals is it's a bunch of badass kids it's one trench coat and three kids two
of them are
probably sucking the other kid's dick that's why i don't say anyone's name
either i meet a guy i'm
like hey i'll take an attempt of their name they're just like what i'm like you
call people dude from
now on dude but we're having the time of our lives little stinkers yeah but
basically if i
fucking 50 50 years old as a comedy kid you guys got little rascals go ahead
talk about it we've
already done alfalfa three times it's just a real motherfucker buckwheats next
spotlight you
spotlight serial murderers dude it's just up people people that have done up
things who
also happen to be very funny like last night we did a mob guy that was like our
first uh
break away from serial killers gosh well they're technically are they're just
glorified right that's
true yeah i mean yeah i mean he probably did kill a few hundred people so jesus
different league of
like he's doing it for for money yeah he sold out he sold out he sold out yeah
he's a sellout
but we're having time of our lives we just switched over to doing them weekly
so i get to see this
handsome devil i wasn't trying to hold your hand dude okay yeah pointing to you
i know weirdo
yeah when you when i heard about him i think that rules yeah he's so good he's
perfect for it and uh
jake matera does a podcast with us and he's super funny and he's all you guys
eating uh what the
are you eating cheddar apple pie yeah so uh well you said that like you know
what it is have you ever
tried it no i've heard i've heard it before it's pretty common southern fare
okay i know i've heard of
it before but it how did how'd she taste i saw you're not much into trying new
foods right exactly
i'm already like a picky eater yeah i didn't want to do it but they made me
what's what's what's
part of your diet regimen like what's what's in your like a lot of mcdonald's a
lot of mcdonald's
if i'm passing mcdonald's it's really gonna be seven bucks easy
there's like tollboost for you like god damn it oh man i just spent seven
dollars
they should do an easy pass where you just go in they just like kind of look at
you and like
give him this 10 miles an hour so you're hitting fast foods not often only if i'm
only if i'm
driving past one every time i see you yeah so every time i see this
motherfucker he's got a bag of
shit well it's been once a week since i've been going to his place so there's
some cold fries somewhere
in your car at all at all times you just get that shit detailed dude trash is
out as soon as i'm
done damn those african gentlemen are probably munching when they detail yeah
they made about
five dollars in coins and yeah a hundred and fries going in his car it's like
an american blood diamond
fresh off like a 3200 kilometer walk from like sudan to kenya and they hit your
car and they're
just like oh yeah dude this place rules it's fries laying around they stay good
they do there's videos of cheeseburgers aging for years dude my uh spud found
uh i think the top of
a biscuit somehow from like a mcdonald's sandwich yeah it just sat there for
maybe months ate it he
munched i believe he munched i don't want to lie on his name but i believe he
said just to prove a
point i think he munched i believe it put butter on it or anything microwave it
just i think he was just
mad dogging again i know he found this whether or not he munched it could be a
pro it could be this
dark chocolate coursing through my veins i think he took a bite i would they my
brother you gotta
know i think i i'm gonna say he he took a bite but i'll you know what i'll let
him he'll he'll
correct me if i'm wrong and i'll come right back to you guys and let you know
yeah i think it should
last less than three days for being good should mold yes exactly they put like
nasa chemicals in
it yeah that's all the astronauts eat big man if they get mcdonald's breakfast
i will become a
fucking astronaut because i haven't woken up in time for that in years really
yeah you sleep in you
sleep in late i do i'm a lead sleeper so is this what you tell what do you tell
your doctor when you
go to the doctor it must be like good one they must get pissed i have dude the
last time i went to the
doctor is when i tried to tell her i had gout and she was like no you don't get
out of here
she's like shutting the door on me as i'm like is it the shoes i'm wearing she's
like maybe don't come
back you had you you had it though yeah gillis diagnosed me did he he did
diagnose me he should
be a gout doctor he he already is one is all it takes so he was like that's gout
yeah what does it look
like sometimes your foot really swells up your big toe mine never really got
swollen but like the pain
was a 10 without a doubt you look like a gout man yeah yeah i've been i've been
i've been waiting
for it to hit me going you look like a gout back steakhouse dude the blooming
big toe so yeah you had
so you had the your toe was fucking toe was hollering yes it was hollering
screaming it happens at night
so it's just like at one point the sheet the weight of the sheet on your toe
was just like
too much did it get better did it get bad enough to where like you took your
shoe off and you had to
describe him as dogs barking you can't even touch it like if you touch it
gently it's fucking
god awful you got a limp does it just come at night it's like a sundowners
thing or just like all day
it waits until you're not you know you're fucked so it came on out of nowhere
yeah well i mean it came
on after you know 90 30 years of 30 years of mcnuggets and beers and that's
what it is it's like
eating shitty food and alcohol yeah is what really does like the day i like
thought i had it the day
after shane told me i had it i ordered like a salad for the first time in my
life just like sadly eating
mozzarella cheese and oh just living in the salad works line like i'm gonna
turn it around that's
like a foot attack dude so yeah does it subside if you stop eating all the junk
dude like i've had
like fish like fish is one of the triggers apparently yeah like i've had but it's
also it always coincides
with like a summer long bender because like if i've been drinking most days for
a month and then i eat
like fish and chips one night for dinner it's just like the next day toe starts
to hollow yeah god
damn it's a life it's terminal yeah and that's why my doctor didn't want to get
me on pills she was
like just try to change your diet so i probably have a lot more wrong with me
really i'm just not
willing why are you censoring him no his doctor oh just being like when the
diagnosis i'm like yeah you
don't want to you don't want to have gout oh yeah she's like no if i because if
you have gout you
have it forever and it's on your health insurance and all that i don't think
that would you don't
think so in our digital age of information you're going to go i shouldn't be
talking about life
insurance scrub this is this live no but we will keep it for matter of
consistency no can you smash
that computer please we'll keep it for matter of journalistic integrity um no
it'll be fine you'll get a
life insurance policy it'll be like 50 bucks more a month and they'll give you
probably like way less
if you die so that's fine are you happy no i'm upset i want gout now what i
want the pills i want
gout pills you don't want the gout pills i don't i don't you got to take them
forever true so you can
reverse it my dad reversed type 2 diabetes he just he was eating like a maniac
does the news know about
it you're talking i read you loud and clear you're talking about how the
vaccine's bullshit
no before we talk i read you i hear you i thought before we went on del calo
was like dude those guys
in australia are kicking the shit out of those cops and i love it what were you
saying then diabetes is
is like you don't get rid of it i thought type 2. you can you have type 2
diabetes and then not have it
it's like aids you technically still have aids but you're like counts and all
the labs come up
like as if it you don't have it yeah and you can have whatever you want to eat
essentially as long
as you don't overdo it no you'll get right back to that's how you keep it at
bay by not eating
you know like a glutton yeah type 2 diabetes is is like a marriage like you'll
probably have it for
years but you can kill it yeah if you're playing it right you can get rid of it
all right it's creeped
back up on him he got same thing you guys have the same exact thinking he was
like my numbers are low
so now i can have ice cream again yeah my doctor was just like yeah bro here
comes his his triglycerides
at one point were like i think like quadruple what they were supposed to be
that sounds bad but i don't
know what it means they're dinosaurs yeah dude damn he had that many dinosaurs
it wasn't looking good
dude he was he was every day hitting like four like a link four soft pretzels
he got he would get
like a rack of soft pretzels dong them in the car and like every other day rip
a milkshake on the way
home and then eat dinner that was like and it's and that was like cheesesteak
for lunch 60 ounces of
coffee that day oh my god imagine if the same africans that cleaned his car
cleaned your dad's car
oh milkshakes oh dude that'd be good just like a calcified milk like a fossilized
shake
pretzels don't seem like they would pretzels will give you diabetes that's why
you have gout yes
oh absolutely give it's all sugar don't make me a list after this i'm glad you're
better so your foot
when's the last time your foot started to smart on you after you pigged out
this thing's smart after
you unscrupulously pigged out what was the last time your foot hurt last summer
i had it bad really
oh dude yeah because at the beginning of quarantine i was like oh we all did we
all did dude i mean not
even sure oh lord we all picked everyone dude but i drank like every night at
home playing video games just
drinking seven beers just getting hammered yeah and then it caught up to me and
i was going and like
yeah i was going like hiking the next week and i was like oh no oh what
terrible timing yeah what'd you
do i kind i mean i didn't drink just camped instead like i'll just let's camp
no we did some we did some
hiking did you really on the gal foot it like it cleared up like i it's like
getting weed out of your
system in a week you know what i mean i was just like all right i guess i'll
have healthier food
and it seems like your body really doesn't want to get out it's screaming it
seems like it's very
preventable if you saw it was in the toilet every day for me you'd go to the er
every day really what
you're you're loose guys i don't even want to get into it really loose i know a
man who's only had
diarrhea for like a decade buddy that ain't that's the least of my words really
i'm down every day
i'm like did i drink blood last night it's one way to go man you know i can
appreciate that that i
think is just a hemi do you baby your tootsies now at all no no no i should get
like pedicure and like
true i wear very supportive shoes now though i got when i first got it i was
wearing like uh
like clark's desert boots at work and they're just not supportive also got them
used at a thrift store
so maybe that guy they sold you shoes at a thrift store true they were brand
new though like nothing
on the bottom you know you can tell a clark's been worn once true yeah uh but
that 