Name: Ep 378 - Jeep Ka Ping (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Uploaded: 2022-01-18T21:45:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 378 - Jeep Ka Ping (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 378 - Jeep Ka Ping (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-18. Transcript available.

Ep 378 - Jeep Ka Ping (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)

wild wild west i agree with you i think as soon as a black lady listens to
smooth jazz all her
hair falls out she's fucking just goes bald and sleek like bald sleek and hot
oh dude she just
has like out of nowhere she's got like 50 very like clangly wrist jewelry
things bracelets i
think they're called in the black community she's just clacking while like
talking with her hands
like a teacher it becomes like a literature like a high school literature
teacher yeah just vibed out
yeah there's a lot of spoken word poetry oh yeah yeah dude the smooth jazz shit's
fascinating i that
blew my mind that i butterly i thought you were onto something thinking it got
absolutely tiger woods
respectfully that it was just kenny g i think it's maybe it's consumed by black
ladies
mostly that's what that album cover is all about true when you hear smooth jet
when black women hear
smooth jazz there is a part of them it's like i should get a loft apartment and
just like make
very intricate salads and just have a lot of opinions at parenting for your
conferences that's all that's
all i can think about it's that's probably one part of it then there's also it
was like the number one
anthem of offices everywhere in the 90s so it was like the only acceptable
thing yeah so that's that is
kind of now that i think about that 90s were another hard pc period so it's
like the safest thing is
to turn on like but then you realize it's like oh this guy's appropriating jazz
yeah i hate it is the
background it is the background music for every cd rom from the 90s that's why
kenny g got paid so hard
yeah bony james is more that's a deep cut for you guys you'd have to be a real
smooth jazz head like
myself to know about bony james real smooth jazz brain
god damn it yeah kenny g used to send the chinese home yeah that was a sick
part of that documentary
they would play a song by kenny g called going home at the end of the work day
in china it was mandated
yeah all across the land it was mandate no i swear to god we talked about the
rice fields and
shit i believe we thought unless i just have dreams where i talk about stuff in
the podcast and i don't
but i yeah dude that was a song it was an official song they would play in
china so his song got i don't
know it's like i don't know if a government has to buy it but it was like that
was their closing time
that was their closing time it just everywhere you're at every day it came on
and it's basically
the chinese government be like go the home right now it was probably actually
like uh like you know
the ip theft everything it was probably like a chinese knockoff of kenny g
probably wasn't there
there was no way it was the real thing there was a guy with his daughter he was
like she was blasting
uh kenny g on a clarinet and he was like i've been training her whole life for
this and she was just
so yeah i mean that's it's not hard yeah you got a lot on the treetops yeah you're
in china
you got a lot of kids who are like ripping oboes and stuff perfectly yeah they
have an oboe and child
surplus that is a funny uh i wish i had that kind of trope going on where it's
like you know how my
parents are they're just pushing me towards excellence ruthlessly it's like oh
yeah i could use some
of that that would have been nice man yeah it would be way way nicer than what
i got they're just
disappointed that i'm not a doctor my parents are more like get a job yeah it
wasn't very specific
it was like gain employment yeah i kind of regret that my dad thought that was
like the end all be
all do that my parents were like if you get a job like you're basically done
yeah if you can get a job
you're done yeah that was it and they were like they were like impressed like i
remember like i started
making twenty thousand dollars a year my dad was like oh thank god i was like i
don't know man i feel
like i'm gonna run out of food all the time just got a boy yeah that's my son
it is twenty thousand
dollars though i would love not at once i know it's over a year i want to get a
job i do want to get a job
at mcdonald's and be like pay me at the end of the year and just get a lump sum
just trying to survive i'll just like you know figure something out in the
meantime it's like
sixty five hundred dollars after taxes two tax returns what's up
excuse me guys i'm still recovering from long covid people there's people who
are like pissed it got
me as bad as it did what do you mean just being like what the dude he's being a
pussy it's like you got cocked by kovi i wish i i wish and parents they're
disappointed i do have
asian i have online asian parents for sure there's a few i i wish i wish it
didn't they want respiratory
excellence from you nothing less i was trying to be a slave to the narrative
the whole time i was like
this is nothing have you been taking knack you got to take neck what's neck it's
like an amino acid
supplement you take and it helps it fixes your breathing after yeah dude i had
i had like
uh lemon lime fluids coming out of my sinuses not even like mucus it was like i
was breathing and
then i would hear like a gurgle in my in my like up behind my eyes i was like
whoa what was that and
then i would start to taste a weird thing and i would launch out it was fluid i
got the weird taste
there was like every now and again where i'd get like the i felt like uh coven
has a taste you got
rocket snots yeah there's like a taste that comes down it almost no sector for
mortal combat
yes i got like sector saliva sector you get like robot saliva you're like what
the
fuck is that stuff you get the web dude yeah i might have had sectors web pop
out of my chest
dude that's all i'm coughing up sectors web what did it taste like it almost
tastes like industrial
dude like there's like a and again i'm telling you flavor it's like there's a
new twist on an old
classic there's snot you know you know when you have snot coming down yeah this
tasted like snot
mixed with a little bit of like wd-40 or like i ground up thailand all almost
something it's
chemically it's weird i remember like it would like and it rushes down the back
of your throat
and you're just like yeah what is that brand new bland brand new taste
experience i've never had it
before yeah dude damn it's the bio curious dude yeah it was yeah that was what
i knew i was like this
was grown in a lab for sure this was a weapon yeah we also by the way we're
like suspended off of
youtube right now oh i mean it's it's we have it's not your no one's even gonna
see this who cares
yeah we're gonna this will be on a separate channel dude put up on the patreon
with this
one get public the what getter we might have to do someone's on our ass someone
kicked us off
well suspended us from a video from like 2020 someone's on our ass and fucking
nitpicking us
so we might have we might have to get any suspect hey patriots we might have to
go to rumble
it's time to activate we might have to go to rumble patriots we might have to
go to chatter
i don't know what what are the hot what are the sick uh underground video sites
right now i don't
know any of them video huh band dot video is the ultimate that's valhalla dude
that's where all
the true dogs go after they create so much content dude they get kicked off
with nine sandy
i haven't touched upon that yet but i will no
oh man oh yeah dude we got someone on our case dude causing a problem so we'll
see what happens
i i have it's funny they like uh gardini was like yeah i think our youtube
channel's down for a week
and i was like i'll get around to sorting that i've haven't done anything about
it you're grounded
oh we're up can we up we're still up we just can't upload we're in time out we
can't upload till friday
oh maybe we'll just put this up on friday yeah we could do that put the what if
we get a good
report card can we get out early good behavior dude it's crazy how they can do
that anonymously
it's crazy you have to show themselves i they kind of well it depends for
copyright they do have to
show you like their email address this i don't know this is like apparently
this might be automated i
don't know it might be because if you the thing we read if you disagree with
the who they can strike
you down it's weird territory we get into if you disagree with an institution
it's like what if they're
fucking wrong bro what if what if they're wrong about one i want to trial by
combat true who name
your champion did you ever hear about the doctor that would be sick did you
ever hear about the doctor
i think his name was semelweiss he was the guy who discovered germs before louis
pestier
i just read a book about people in paris so now i'm like totally french but it
was before louis
did uh the germs there was a guy semelweiss who was he was a doctor and he was
working in a
like i like wherever you deliver babies like a nursery ward or whatever
delivery word delivery
war there's a word bro maternity i'm more of a science guy i don't know all
these words i'm just
i just i'm pure like binary but yeah so he back then they called it delivery
maternity the word
wasn't invented yet i think they called it the fucking bitch box back then yeah
i'm working at
the bitch box dude but it was like i think 25 of women were dying in these he
was in austria and this
is pro i guess in the whenever before people knew about germs like mid 1850s
whenever maybe it was
early i don't know but he was like dude how come at this one place none of the
ladies are dying and all
the other places all the other bitch boxes 25 are checking out and they're all
showing the same
symptoms so he's like i got to figure out what it is he tried like laying them
on their sides and
doing all this other stuff i tell them to shut up did you guys shut up it's
just in your heads
you're not dead i tried telling them that their enemies were fat i tried
everything that i can to
help these women they keep dying dude so what here's what he figured out so
what they were doing in
like you know i guess this was like a general like medical center because the
doctors were doing
autopsies so they would do autopsies and then just be like and then go they
would cut a dead body up
like you're closing cinnamon toes crunch and then exactly just be like done
with that and then they'd
go deliver a baby and they would transfer dead people germs into a woman's
vagina so he figured this
out it was autopsies and he said look after you do an autopsy you got to rub
your hands with like
lime and like some other thing and there's some on dead bodies that we're
putting into girls vaginas
and killing a quarter of the women who come into hospitals to deliver babies
dude so this theory
came out he he demonstrated it he was like i have one percent of people dying
as opposed to 25 and this
is why a phil prominent philadelphia doctor was like well doctors are gentlemen
and gentlemen's hands
are clean and everyone's like yeah you yeah gentlemen's hands are clean yeah
those pushy
do you think my hands are dirty he ended up getting kicked out of the medical
community and died in an
insane hospital which which one the guy that said hands are clean or no the
hands of the guy the
gentleman clean just kept being a kick-ass doctor he tried to invent washing
your hands and they were like
no they were like you that's for poor people we're gentlemen and we don't have
dirty hands these girls
are dying because they're dumb it has nothing to do with us chopping dead
bodies up and then delivering
babies this was dude this came this was like maybe late 1800s yeah seven weeks
dude he ended up
fucking dying from a fucked up infection ironically enough it's so funny to
imagine a guy going to
deliver a baby in the 1800s like instead of like the glove down the arm is just
yeah just be like man i just chopped up this dead kid i just chopped up a dead
mom oh hey here we go
yeah pretty funny that was that was making me laugh i mean because that is
funny to to think that
like if you're a gentleman and she's dying and she's